North Country Mom

by Lois Richer

  The man looked familiar and Jack searched his mind, his mouth pursing as he watched the man put his arms on either side of Alicia’s head, preventing her from leaving. In that moment Jack remembered the guy—a teacher, the bad-boy son of a wealthy father. He also remembered the case the man had been involved in. A coworker had made allegations about this guy. He hadn’t been cleared per se, but Daddy’s hotshot lawyer had pulled strings so the charges had been dropped. The complainant had suddenly refused to talk and Jack had been forced to close the case. He remembered that the woman had moved away.

  How did Alicia know scum like Jeremy Parcet?

  His phone rang. It was Giselle.

  “Daddy? I’m at Alicia’s store and I can’t reach her. Lucy isn’t feeling well. Can you get Hector to come and take her home? I’ll stay here.”

  Jack agreed and hung up. He could no longer see Alicia, but Parcet was heading toward the train station. It wouldn’t leave for another three hours but, knowing Parcet, Jack figured he’d sit inside the old station rather than explore the sights of Churchill.

  “Good,” he muttered. “Leave here and stay gone. Leave Alicia alone.”

  His temper simmered as he thought of Alicia around a guy like that. He took a quick scan of the area again, but she’d disappeared. With a sigh for the basket of lunch he’d left on the beach, Jack jogged over to the sod house, gave Hector the information and complimented the boys on the great job they were doing.

  “A man asked me to send him some of my pictures,” Garret told him, holding out a card. “He really liked my work.”

  “Of course he did, because it’s amazing.” Jack congratulated him. “Have you seen Alicia?”

  “She was talking to some creepy guy,” Rod told him.

  “She ran into the church,” Matt said. “She looked upset.”

  “Thanks, guys. Keep up the good work.”

  The kids didn’t need him. They were busy showing every detail to people who’d lined up for a look inside the sod house. He headed for the church. It was dim inside and quiet, so quiet he could hear faint sniffs and a scared voice whispering, “Please, God…”

  His radar went off. Something was very wrong.

  “Alicia?” He walked slowly down the aisle until he finally saw her hunkered down in a pew.

  Her face was as pale as he’d ever seen it. One of her braids had come undone and her hair was a mess. Her shirt was torn, her face was covered in tears and she was visibly shaking.

  Burning inside because he knew Parcet had done this, Jack sat down and drew her into his arms. She grabbed hold of him as if he was a lifeline in very rough seas. Jack reveled in the sweet delight of holding her, but he suppressed that to concentrate on soothing her, until he realized that she was desperately troubled.

  “You’re okay, sweetheart,” he crooned. “You’re safe. You’re here with me and nobody’s going to hurt you. He didn’t hurt you, did he?” he asked as worry surged.

  “Wh-who?”

  “Jeremy Parcet. I saw him talking to you.”

  She went very still in his arms. Her brown eyes grew huge. “You know him?” she whispered.

  “Oh, I know him all right. I’ve investigated him a couple of times, though I never got to arrest him, more’s the pity.” He frowned. “How do you know him?”

  “A long time ago he was m-my teacher,” she whispered. Then the tears welled again, pouring down her face. “Don’t ask me any more about it. Please, Jack? I don’t want to remember him—those days. There’s too much unhappiness.”

  Jack smoothed her cheek, removing the damp tears.

  “But what does someone like you have to do with someone like him?” he asked. “He’s not your kind.”

  “My kind?” Her big brown eyes gaped. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re good and decent and caring. You give to people, you don’t take like he does.” Jack paused, searching for words to express how much she was coming to mean to him. “You’re pure and shining and he’s dirty and dingy.” Jack stopped because Alicia pressed her cheek against his chest and wrapped her arms even more tightly around him.

  “You don’t really know me,” she sobbed. “I’m not like that.”

  “To me you are.” His lips grazed her neck. Jack loved the feeling of her silky skin, loved the way she turned to him, the way she fit in his embrace as if she belonged there. “That’s what I wanted to tell you at our picnic.” He couldn’t rid himself of the image of Parcet holding her. “But you didn’t come. Was it because of him? I don’t understand—”

  “I can’t explain,” she whispered, her face glistening with fresh tears. “Can’t you trust me, Jack? Please?” Her eyes begged him and he could not deny her.

  “Of course I trust you, Alicia.” He tightened his hold. “You’re safe with me. Someday I hope you’ll explain. But just know that while I’m here he can’t get to you.”

  “Thank you.” She rested her head on his shoulder. All the fight went out of her as she exhaled. It was as if she had no more energy, as if all she could do was breathe.

  Jack smoothed a hand up and down her back, whispering words of comfort he hoped would take away the terror he sensed was still crouched inside her mind. He wouldn’t press her for an answer now. But later…later he’d find out why Jeremy Parcet terrified Alicia.

  They sat together a long time, quietly. Gradually Alicia’s breathing evened. Jack had no sense of time. He only knew his arms weren’t ready to let her go when she drew back.

  “Thank you, Jack.”

  He couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and pressing his lips to hers. It was what he’d wanted to do for weeks now and once his lips met hers, he knew it was right. For a second Alicia froze. He drew back, cupped her lovely face in his hands.

  “It’s okay,” he whispered. “I will never hurt you.”

  “I know. You’re not that kind of man. That’s what I lo—like about you.” After a fraction of a second she leaned forward to kiss him.

  As the kiss deepened, asking, answering, Jack knew she’d been going to say love. He’d seen it in her eyes, known it from the way her lips answered his. She loved him. Since that was exactly how he felt about her, Jack tried to show it in his kiss. He had a feeling he’d succeeded when she drew away, breathless.

  “The boys will be wondering where we are. We should join them.” Alicia kept her eyes down, her gaze hidden. Shy, sweet Alicia.

  “I think you should change your shirt first. It’s torn here on the sleeve.” Jack loved that she was innocent enough to blush when he tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. He smoothed a finger over the rip, forcing down the rage that swelled inside at the thought of Parcet doing this.

  Alicia went white when she stared at the tear.

  “I’ll wait till you return, then walk back with you.”

  She nodded before hurrying away.

  Jack sat in the coolness of the church, trying to understand the emotions surging within him. He loved Alicia. In fact, he’d loved her for a while. He just hadn’t wanted to admit it because the thought of losing her scared him to death.

  “You look frustrated.”

  At the sound of the voice, Jack turned to see Rick sit down beside him.

  “Can I help?” the pastor asked.

  “I just figured out I love Alicia,” Jack said, unwilling to pretend when he so desperately needed help. “I’d almost decided this afternoon that God had led me to her. Then this. What do I do now?” he asked the pastor.

  “Why do you have to do anything?” Rick leaned back in the pew. “Why can’t you just relax, enjoy your relationship with Alicia and see where God leads?”

  “Because I want to prepare myself.” Jack blinked at the bare truth of it.

  “Prepare yourself for what?” Rick studied him with a frown.

  “In case something happens,” he said, feeling his way through.

  “Will that make it easier? Will it be okay to love her then? Tell me how you make loving someone and t
hen losing them okay.”

  It sounded ridiculous when Rick said it that way.

  “Life is a journey, my friend. There are detours and accidents all over. You do the best you can, but you can’t always be prepared. Sometimes you have to lean on God to get you through.” Rick rose at the sound of the church door opening. “It’s all about trust, Jack. You’ve got to let go of the controls and trust God.” He stepped into the aisle. “Hey, Alicia. Congrats. The sod house is a marvel.”

  “Thanks. We’re proud of the boys and Giselle.” She looked at Jack. “Lucy’s out sick and nothing I can say will persuade Giselle that she isn’t in charge. She ordered me out of my own store.”

  She looked so shocked Jack smothered his amusement.

  “Well, she is her father’s daughter,” Rick teased. “I’m late for a canoe ride with Kyle and you know he’ll make me paddle him for miles. See you.”

  Jack rose as Rick left. He walked beside Alicia to the sod house, where the boys were jubilant with the visitors’ comments. They closed up the house, handed Alicia the key and left with Laurel and Teddy, who’d offered to barbecue burgers for dinner.

  “I’m starved, too,” Alicia said.

  “My picnic!” Jack took her hand and urged her toward the beach. “It’s still here. Amazing. Come and sit down.” He began building a small fire out of driftwood because a beach picnic seemed to demand a fire. “Did you get my note this time?”

  Alicia pulled the damp napkin from her pocket with a wry grin. “I got it, but—”

  “We need a different means of communication,” he told her. The fire threatened to go out so he blew on it.

  “I may be pure Indian but I don’t do smoke signals, Jack,” she said, coughing as the smoke blew in her face.

  Jack chuckled as he handed her a sandwich. He held her hand when she would have drawn away.

  “I like being with you, Alicia.”

  “I like being with you, too,” she whispered, meeting his gaze for a moment before her lashes fell. That was enough for now, Jack thought, remembering Rick’s advice.

  “This is very good,” she complimented as she ate. She sat back on the blanket and he could practically feel peace settle on her like dew on grass.

  Jack hated to bring up the subject but now seemed the perfect time, and he needed to understand.

  “Can you tell me what happened between you and Parcet, Alicia?” he asked. “I know something’s wrong. Please let me help.”

  At the mention of his name the tension began humming around her. “There’s nothing you can do,” she said, waving her hand as if to shoo away the topic. “But thank you.”

  He had to let it go. As they continued to eat, they chatted about the Celebration Day events. Then suddenly Alicia sat up straight.

  “Oh, I forgot. Giselle asked me if I knew what you learned from that letter that came from the adoption agency yesterday. She’s very curious, but she doesn’t want to bug you. Can you tell me what it said? Do they have news about her birth mom yet?”

  “I doubt it.” He grimaced. “The letter was just another form I haven’t yet filled out. I—uh, haven’t done much about pursuing that line lately.”

  “Oh, Jack, why? Giselle is the most important person in your life. Don’t you love her enough to find the truth?”

  The question stunned him.

  “Of course I love her. I want what’s best for her.” He was miffed that she’d brought up the subject again. “But how could it be better for her to know her past than to be safe with me?”

  “It’s not a matter of better.” Alicia’s hand curled around his. She waited until he was looking at her before she spoke again. “It’s because she needs all the pieces of the past to put together who she is. She’s desperate to know the truth, Jack. She even asked me to talk to you, ask you to keep pressing for information.”

  “I don’t want to,” he admitted on a slow exhale.

  “I know.” Sympathy filled her voice, but underlying that lay a steely determination. “I wonder why that is. Could it be because you’re afraid Giselle will want a relationship with her birth parents and you’ll be left alone?”

  “You think I’m feeling left out?” He jumped to his feet to vent his frustration. “I’m trying to keep her safe.”

  “But not knowing is making her insecure.” Alicia rose, placed her hand on his arm. “Giselle will always love you. You’re her dad. No one can take your place. But the heart can grow. It can accommodate lots of love. Don’t you want that for your child?”

  Jack had no answer. They finished their picnic in a much more somber mood and more quickly than he’d intended. He walked Alicia home, read the note on the door and shook his head.

  “Giselle says she’s gone out to Lives with Rick. We’re supposed to join them for a campfire.” He looked at her. “Want to?”

  “Of course. We must celebrate their success.” Alicia walked to the truck with him and climbed in.

  Jack was filled with foreboding. What if Alicia was right? What if he refused to find her birth mom and Giselle went looking on her own? All kinds of things could happen, and he wouldn’t be in control of them.

  Maybe it was time to finish the investigation, to get all the facts and then figure out how to tell his daughter. The only good part was that he knew he could count on Alicia to deal with the outcome. She was one amazing woman. God was drawing them together.

  It would just take time.

  *

  Jack helped Alicia into the truck. “Nice celebration, huh?”

  “Very nice.” To hide her reaction to his touch, she made small talk about the evening’s campfire—they’d roasted marshmallows and played games—and she described the boys’ quest for a new project. She even brought up the intriguing possibility of a relationship between Laurel and Teddy Stonechild, but Jack barely answered.

  Silence fell.

  Obviously Jack didn’t want to talk during the ride home from Lives, but Alicia needed this time alone with him to make him understand Giselle’s point of view. Luckily the girl had taken up Rick’s offer of an ATV ride to take her home.

  “You’ve been very kind to me, Jack. I treasure that. I’ve never known a man like you. You’re honest and decent and you care about people.” Alicia mentally pushed away all those wonderful memories of being in his arms. She couldn’t dream about that now. She’d save them for later, when she was alone. “I know you’re trying to protect Giselle.”

  “Always,” he said.

  “But don’t you see,” she coaxed. “You’re not protecting her. You’re trying to wrap her in cotton wool instead of preparing her to deal with whatever life hands her. I know because it’s the same thing my parents did.”

  He frowned, looking at her sideways. “What do you mean?”

  “We lived in a little isolated village. Everyone was like me. I didn’t know I was different.” She closed her eyes at the memories. “We seldom went to town—it was too far. But if we did, my parents sheltered me from everything. I didn’t know bias and racism existed until I moved to Vancouver. Then I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

  Jack peered ahead, his face tight.

  “If they’d only prepared me, I doubt I’d have gotten into trouble.”

  “What trouble?” he asked.

  “Lots.” She worried her lips, hating this part but knowing it had to be said. “I did some things as a teen that I didn’t know how to get out of it.”

  “Most teens do.” He brushed it off.

  “Maybe. But I don’t want Giselle to end up like I did.”

  “Why would she?” he asked. “I’ll be here.”

  “But you can’t prevent everything. Someday she’ll be on her own, all alone. Don’t you want her to be able to figure out how to deal with issues rather than flounder and fear?” By the set of his jaw, Alicia knew he wasn’t hearing her. “I care for you, Jack. That’s why I’m going to say this. You’re a wonderful dad, but you’re trying to control Giselle instead of doing what a
loving father should.”

  “And what’s that?” he muttered.

  “Preparing your kid for her future. That’s a parent’s real job, to teach independence.” She hated hurting him but she forced herself to continue. “Give Giselle the truth and let her judge for herself. If she makes a mistake, you be there, help her get up and face the next challenge. That’s what real fatherhood is all about.”

  Her heart swelled with love for this decent, caring man. He was so protective of Giselle because he loved her. The world could be a nasty place; Jack had certainly seen a lot of that in his line of work. How could he not be afraid for his daughter? But his fear couldn’t override the need for his daughter to feel empowered, and how could she do that if she didn’t get her questions answered?

  “How do you know so much about parenthood, Alicia?” Jack asked as he stopped the truck in front of her store.

  She smiled because she knew there was no malice in his question. He was hurting. He wanted a way out and there was none.

  Jack was a man among men. In him she’d finally found the love she’d always craved. But Jack couldn’t love her. Not really. He wanted perfect, like Simone, and Alicia was damaged. Though he might feel sorry for her, Jack would never be able to see past her mistakes or understand why she’d made them.

  He came around to open her door and she climbed out of the truck. She stepped directly in front of him, her face inches from his.

  “I know that the hardest part of parenting is letting go of your kid.” She fought back the emotions in order to finish. “Sooner or later you are going to have to let Giselle go, Jack. Will she be ready to take on life?”

  His face altered as pain and angst and a hundred other emotions crowded in. He was so dear, so precious, the most wonderful man in the world. Casting aside all inhibition, Alicia stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist. She brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth then slid them up his jaw to the tip of his ear.

  “You’re a good man, Jack Campbell. Thank you for being my friend.”