Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Series Book 4)

by Juliette Duncan

  "I know someone who can help."

  Ryan turned his head. "Who?"

  "A lawyer back home. He fights for the bad guys."

  "You're not a bad guy, Grace."

  "So you say, but I guess we'll see when everyone finds out."

  They reached the truck and climbed in. Ryan pulled back onto the heavily rutted track.

  "I really hope this leads somewhere."

  "Don't worry, it does."

  He was right. In less than five minutes they reached a cross road, and directly in front, on the main road, sat an old stone building with a 'Café Open' sign hanging out front. Ryan pulled up in front of the building and jumped out, running around to open the door for Grace. "I told you I knew somewhere."

  "Okay, you win…"

  Ryan took her hand and pushed the door open. The café doubled as a souvenir shop, and the front section was filled with all things Scottish, from postcards of Edinburgh Castle and Fort William, to Tea Towels adorned with Scottish recipes and pictures of Ben Nevis and Loch Lomond, to miniature pipers, complete with bagpipes and kilts, but in the back, the café was warm and friendly, with a view to die for.

  The waitress directed them to a table beside a huge picture window and handed them each a menu.

  Ryan glanced at the menu and then looked up. "I think we should have lunch… there's no hurry."

  "Okay. What do you suggest?"

  "There's a Haggis Lasagne on the menu." He raised a brow.

  "Absolutely not. You'll never get me to eat it."

  "Never?"

  "Never."

  He leaned closer and lowered his voice, a grin forming on his face. "Even if that's all you'll get in prison?"

  Grace's eyes widened. "Don't joke about things like that!"

  He looked bashful. "I'm sorry. It really was just a joke."

  She let out a sigh. "It's okay. I'm sorry I got upset."

  "I won't do it again."

  "Thank you."

  "So, will you try it?"

  "No!"

  He snickered as he lowered his eyes to the menu. "Okay, I guess that's a no for Haggis. How about a Smoked Haddock Crepe?"

  Holding his gaze, she didn't say anything, she just sat there with folded arms and a raised brow.

  "Okay, what about Crumbed Scampi and chips?"

  She smiled. "That sounds better."

  "At last." He chuckled. "I can see why you're a good barrister."

  She gave a small shrug. "And I can see why you're so good at your job."

  He angled his head. "How's that?"

  "You're easy to be around."

  His face softened. "That's nice of you to say that, Grace."

  "It's true. I like being around you."

  "And I like being around you too."

  She drew a breath. "It's such a pity we're going to be separated." Her bottom lip quivered. "I'll have to go back to Ireland."

  He leaned forward and took her hand. "Don't look too far ahead. A day at a time. Okay?"

  She nodded. "Okay."

  Ryan gave the order to the waitress and then returned his attention to Grace. "This friend of yours… when can you call him?"

  "As soon as we get back."

  "Could you call him from here?"

  "How?"

  "I'm sure they have a phone. We can tell them it's urgent, and pay extra."

  "I thought you said we weren't in a hurry?"

  "We're not, but the sooner we can get some information, the better."

  "I guess you're right. Okay, let's ask, but he might be in court, I don't know how the appeal went."

  "Wait here, I'll see if I can find the owner."

  She smiled at him. "I'm not going anywhere."

  While Ryan was gone, butterflies appeared in Grace's stomach. Could she really tell Niall everything after all these years? Would he understand? And would he help? She felt ill. Oh God, please still my heart. Give me the words to say.

  Moments later, Ryan returned and gave her the okay sign. "She said yes—the phone's in the back room."

  Grace gulped as she stood and followed Ryan to a poky little office filled with overflowing bookshelves and benches littered with paperwork. The telephone sat on the wall, an old fashioned one that Grace doubted would even work.

  "Do you want me to stay?"

  Grace drew a breath. She'd love for Ryan to stay, but what she had to say to Niall was for Niall's ears only. "I think I need to talk to him alone. Do you mind?"

  "Not at all. I'll wait outside."

  She smiled. "Thanks."

  She drew another steadying breath as she picked up the hand set and dialled the number for Niall's office.

  His receptionist answered.

  "Mairie, this is Grace O'Connor. Is Niall available?" She held her breath.

  "You've just caught him, Miss. I'll put you through."

  Grace's pulse raced.

  "Grace, this is unexpected. Are you calling about the appeal?" His voice was so familiar.

  She drew another breath. "No. This is personal. Can you talk?"

  She could imagine him leaning forward in his large swivel chair, eager to hear what she had to say. She was about to break his heart… again.

  "Yes, what's up, Grace? Have you changed your mind?"

  "No, but I'm about to tell you why I can't marry you."

  Silence.

  "Niall… are you there?"

  "Yes… you threw me, that's all. What's going on, Grace?"

  "It's a long story, and you may not believe it, but it's true. Remember when you met me at University and you always said you thought I was hiding something?"

  "Yes…"

  "You were right." She gulped. "I was involved in a bomb blast that killed ten people when I was sixteen."

  "No…"

  "Yes. And I'm about to go to the Police."

  "No…"

  "Yes. I need you to do something for me, Niall. Can you help me?"

  "Of course. I'll do anything."

  "Can you look into it for me? After Brianna and I fled Londonderry on the day it happened, I was never game to read anything about it. All I heard was that ten people were killed, and they were looking for those responsible. Nobody has ever come knocking on my door, even though I've been waiting all these years. So we just want to know if anything was ever found. Can you do that for me, Niall? I can't do it easily from here."

  "Give me the details."

  "Friday the thirteenth of November, 1969. That's all you need to know."

  "I'll get right onto it. Where can I call you?"

  "At Danny and Lizzy's. You have the number."

  "I'll call as soon as I have something. When are you going to the Police?"

  "Tomorrow. We'll be back at Danny and Lizzy's late this afternoon, best not to call before then. They don't know yet."

  "You said we. Who are you with?"

  Grace gulped. "A friend."

  Silence.

  "Niall…"

  "Yes…"

  "Thank you, and I'm sorry. You can see now why I couldn't marry you."

  "I guess so. How could you have done something like this, Grace? The media will have a field day."

  "I know." She bit her lip. "I was young and stupid, but the bomb shouldn't have gone off."

  "I don't understand."

  "I chickened out, Niall, and I left a wire loose, or I thought I had… it shouldn't have gone off."

  "I don't understand, but I'll do it anyway. By the way, O'Malley lost his appeal. They wouldn't even look at it."

  "I'm sorry."

  "Not sure why you're sorry, Grace. You won."

  "I'm sorry for you, Niall."

  "Yes, well, such is life." His voice was clipped.

  "I guess so."

  "I'll talk to you soon."

  "Thanks." As she hung up, her heart ached for him as she pushed back tears. Niall didn't deserve this. God, please bring someone special into Niall's life, and help him to move forward.

  She wiped her fac
e and took another moment to steady herself before opening the door.

  Ryan was sitting at an old table reading a newspaper, and looked up when she stepped towards him. "Okay?"

  "Yes. He'll do it."

  Ryan held his hand out. "You've been crying."

  She dabbed her eyes again and nodded. "Years ago, Niall asked me to marry him. I turned him down, and he never knew why. He does now."

  "The poor guy."

  "I feel sorry for him."

  "He must still be a good friend if he's prepared to help you out."

  "I hope so. He was my best friend, my only friend, at University."

  "I'm sorry, Grace."

  She shrugged. "It's okay. It's just what happened. I hope he can move on."

  The waitress popped her head around the corner. "Sorry to interrupt, but your meals are ready."

  Ryan lifted his hand in acknowledgment and smiled. "Thanks."

  He stood and squeezed Grace's hand. "Come on, let's eat."

  The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. So many mixed emotions ran through Grace. The joy of being with Ryan, knowing they shared a connection that was real, but unsure of what would happen if and when they went to the police. She tried not to think about it, but it was impossible not to. Her whole life was about to change. And then there was Niall… he'd sounded so desolate on the phone, as if his whole world had also been shattered. Her heart ached for him. They could have been happy together, if only…

  Ryan ran his thumb along Grace's hand. "What are you thinking about?"

  Taking a slow breath, Grace tore her gaze away from the window she'd been staring out. "Just everything."

  "It'll work through, Grace. Whatever happens, God's with you, and I'll be there for you."

  She released her breath and gave him a grateful smile. "Thank you. I know I shouldn't, but I can't help thinking about it all."

  "It's understandable, but you need to get your mind off it for a while. There's nothing we can do until we hear back from Niall."

  She angled her head. "What do you have in mind?"

  He chuckled. "A game of mini golf might be fun…"

  She drew her brows together. "And where are we going to do that?"

  "There's an old course just outside. Hasn't been used for a while, but I asked Sheila, and she said we could use it."

  "Who's Sheila?"

  "The owner."

  "Is she a friend of yours?"

  "She is now."

  Grace laughed. "Okay, you win. Mini golf it is. But I can't play…"

  Ryan's eyes twinkled. "It doesn't matter. I'll have fun teaching you." He raised a brow, a playful look on his face.

  "I get the picture." Grace's heart fluttered at the thought of Ryan standing behind her helping her hold the golf club.

  Shortly after, once Ryan had paid for the meal, they ventured outside with a golf club each and several golf balls. Ryan was true to his word and showed Grace how to hold the club and how to swing. Competitive by nature, Grace took it seriously, although several times she had to tell herself to focus on the ball and not on Ryan, leaning back with his arms crossed, studying her with an amused grin on his face. When it was his turn, she admired his easy style and his ruggedly handsome good looks. She just wanted to wrap her arms around him and stay here forever.

  But finally they had to go. Ryan chose the circuitous route through the quaint town of Aviemore and then through to Inverness, where they stopped at a small traditional café for an afternoon tea of scones with clotted cream and mouth-watering pastries. Grace tried not to think it might be her last meal out before being incarcerated. She was in no hurry to return to the cottage—they'd agreed she should tell Danny, Lizzy and Brianna, but the thought made her ill.

  The whole way back, Grace had her hand on Ryan's leg, and when he could, he held it. They chatted easily about lots of things, but when they arrived at the cottage just before dinner time, and Danny was coming through the gate, waving to them, Grace's butterflies returned.

  She forced a smile and returned his wave as she climbed out.

  Danny strode towards them, and when he reached Grace, gave her a hug. "Enjoy your day?" He winked at Ryan.

  "Yes, it was fun, thanks."

  "Staying for dinner, Ryan?"

  Ryan shrugged. "If there's enough."

  "I'm sure there will be. Come inside."

  Ryan took Grace's hand as they walked inside with Danny.

  Dillon, followed closely by James and Clare, raced down the hallway. Danny swept Clare into his arms and kissed her. Clare clung to him and put her thumb in her mouth as she looked down at Dillon and James with a smug look. Ryan swept James up into his arms, and Dillon tugged on Grace's hand.

  It was all so surreal. Happy families. Her news would shock them.

  Lizzy appeared, looking flustered.

  Danny bent down and kissed her. "Got enough food for Ryan?"

  "Always." She blew some hair off her forehead. "Oh, Grace, that friend of yours called a few minutes ago. I told him you'd be back soon."

  The blood drained from Grace's face. Ryan placed his hand lightly on her shoulder.

  "Thanks. I'll go call him."

  "Okay. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."

  Grace extricated herself from Dillon's hold, and Ryan placed James back on the floor and followed Grace into the back room and closed the door.

  "They'll know something's going on." Grace's hands shook as she picked up the receiver.

  "We'll tell them after dinner. I'll call the centre and ask Brianna to come over." Ryan held her gaze, his voice softening. "Are you okay, Grace?"

  Grace shook her head. Her chest felt constricted and she could barely breathe.

  "Take some slow breaths." He breathed with her. "That's the way."

  Her heart still pounded, but she tried to steady herself with her breathing. "I'm scared to hear what he's found out."

  "Do you want me to talk to him?"

  She sucked in a long breath. "No, I need to do it. But thanks." Her hands shook as she dialled the number.

  With each ring, her heart rate increased. Maybe he wouldn't answer. She gulped when he answered on the fifth ring. "Niall…"

  "Grace, thanks for calling back. I made some enquiries, and no one's been charged... they didn't find the bomber."

  Grace's heart plummetted. "Because it was me."

  "I did come across something that might be of interest. The reports suggest there might have been two bombs, but looks like only one went off. Might be worth pursuing."

  "Two bombs? I only planted one."

  "I don't know, Grace. I'll keep checking. Is it possible somebody else planted one as well?"

  "I guess it's possible, but I wouldn't have thought so."

  "What will you do?"

  Gripping the receiver, she sucked in another breath. "Go through with it."

  "You'll need a lawyer. I know a good one."

  "Are you offering?"

  "Of course. I'll do whatever I can. I'll be there in the morning."

  Grace gulped. "You don't have to do that, Niall."

  "I want to."

  Grace's throat burned, and she could hardly get her words out. "Thank you."

  "You're welcome."

  When Grace hung up, she lifted her gaze slowly to Ryan's. "Did you hear?"

  He placed his hands on her shoulders and returned her gaze. "Yes."

  "He's coming."

  "I know."

  Chapter 29

  After dinner, Ryan made the call to the Centre and asked Brianna to come over. Ryan and Grace were still sitting at the table when she arrived within ten minutes of the call.

  "You look like somebody's died." Her gaze travelled between Ryan and Grace as she took off her coat and joined them. "What's happened?"

  "We need to wait for Danny and Lizzy. They're just putting the children to bed." Grace was glad Ryan answered, because she couldn't. What would Bibi think after all these years? If it hadn't been for the bombing
, she would have prosecuted those cousins and they'd still be in prison. Would Bibi ever forgive her?

  Ryan made small talk. Grace said the occasional word, but her heart thumped so loudly it was a surprise Bibi didn't hear it.

  She offered to make tea, but Ryan took over. Finally, Danny and Lizzy returned.

  "Brianna, good to see you." Danny smiled warmly, but his forehead was puckered. It wasn't usual for Brianna to be here after dinner. "What do we owe this to?"

  It was Brianna's turn to look puzzled. "Ryan called me over."

  All eyes turned to Ryan as he cleared his throat and squeezed Grace's hand. "Grace has something she needs to tell you."

  Lizzy and Danny both took a seat.

  "Sounds serious, sis. What is it?" Danny's voice softened.

  Tears stung Grace's eyes. How could she tell them? She wrapped her hands around her mug of tea, and inhaled slowly. She lifted her gaze to Danny's. "It is."

  As she relayed the story, silence filled the room. Three sets of eyes looked at her in disbelief.

  "I'm sorry." She swallowed hard and shifted her gaze to Bibi. "I'm sorry Bibi. I should have told you." Tears streamed down Grace's cheeks.

  Brianna pushed her chair back and stormed out.

  "I'll go." Ryan stood and followed her.

  Grace fiddled with her hands. Seconds passed. Why weren't they saying anything?

  Tears streamed down Lizzy's cheeks. Reaching for the tissue box, Lizzy handed one to Grace and kept one for herself.

  Danny ran his hands through his hair. "You've been hiding it all this time? Does Caleb know?"

  Grace shook her head. "Nobody knew until today."

  "And you're going to hand yourself in?"

  Grace nodded. "I have to." She swallowed hard, forcing down the lump in her throat.

  Standing, Lizzy walked around to the other side of the table, and slipping her arms around Grace, gave her a big hug. "What you're doing is very brave, Grace, and God will honour it."

  Grace swallowed again as she dabbed her face. "I hope so."

  Ryan re-entered with Brianna.

  Grace lifted her gaze and held her hand out to Bibi. "Will you forgive me, Bibi?"

  "Yes, but I wish you'd told me." Tears welled in the corners of her eyes.