An Unmarried Lady

by Willman, Anna

  Elaine and Mrs. Fraidy had been engaged in deep consultations with one another for some time about chickens and succulent young pigs and the availability of turtles for the soup, as well as the quantities of vegetables to be found in the Lynnfield greenhouses.

  James watched the process with considerable interest, realizing that Elaine and Mrs. Fraidy had been preparing and planning for the event all the year long and that the necessity of keeping up this tradition had been included in her exact calculations about the costs of Anne’s Season.

  He was also uncomfortably aware that the Howards fully intended to use the occasion to formally introduce the new heir. With this in mind, James once more made his way to the Green Parlor early one afternoon with the intention this time of entering no matter what excuses the protective Mr. Carney might relay from the elderly gentleman. However, it appeared that Mr. Howard had anticipated this resolve, for he called out that Mr. Merrival was to be allowed to enter, and once the young man was inside, he sent Carney away.

  “Now Captain, I know exactly what you have been wanting to say to me all this time, and indeed it is no secret to me that this masquerade has never been much to your liking. I agree that it is at last time to straighten things out, but I must admit that now that the moment is upon us, I am at a loss as to how it should be done. What reason can we possibly give Elaine for deceiving her that will not end up with her being quite furious with all of us?”

  “There is nothing we can say but the truth,” responded James. “We have quite wronged her, and for no good cause, but only to manipulate her feelings. She will be very angry and we must not shrink from that but accept the results of our foolishness. I am most ashamed that I ever agreed to it.”

  “Oh well, for that matter, I am ashamed, too, only indeed it worked just as I intended it to, for it is as clear as the nose on my face that the girl’s developed quite a tendre for you.”

  “Even if that were so, any affection she might feel could hardly survive the revelation that I have lied to her from the moment of our first meeting.”

  “Well, that is why we must find just the right story to tell her.”

  “No sir. I will not participate in another falsehood. The exact truth is what she deserves and that is what she will get from me. I came here only to tell you that that is what I intend to do, for I feel I owe you that as the head of the family.”

  “Well now, don’t you come over all mifty on me like that! For if she flies into a temper and sends you on your way, I’ll be the one left behind here to face her alone, and I can tell you it will be a damned uncomfortable situation for me.”

  “I am sorry for that sir, but it can’t be helped. I assure you I will tell her the truth.”

  “She has no business being angry. It’s her own fault for being so stubborn and refusing to even consider the match.”

  “She has every right to be angry, and we have proven her quite right to refuse the match. I have shown myself to be unworthy of her.”

  “Well what about me?”

  “Your daughter loves you, sir. She will forgive you.”

  “Don’t try to gammon me she doesn’t love you. I’ve seen the pair of you smelling of April and May these past weeks. If she’ll forgive me, she’ll forgive you.”

  “If she cares for me, as you say, then I’ve done her a worse turn even than I thought,” James said rather stiffly. “She may well forgive me, but that doesn’t mean she will agree to marry a proven liar.”

  “Damn the girl! She’s never been anything but trouble!”

  James said nothing, and Mr. Howard grinned reluctantly. “What a jackanapes I am! She’s a far better girl than I ever deserved. I’m the one that taught her not to trust men, and a damned good lesson I’ve made of it. If I had a sixpence for every promise I’ve made to her and then broken, we’d have no need for that fortune.”

  “There is no need for that fortune now,” James replied calmly. “I’m not a rich man, but neither am I a poor one. I’m not denying I’d be happier if the land was not so tied up in mortgages, but your ‘troublesome’ daughter has brought you about and with a little economy and time, I shall be able to finish the job that she started.”

  “You mean to do that? You’ll bring Lynnfield back?”

  “Oh Elaine has already done that. But yes, I’ll continue her work. This is a beautiful place and far better than ever I imagined it would be when I was a boy dreaming of buried treasure.”

  The old man looked at James with an expression of approval. “You’ve a feeling for this place!”

  “That I do.”

  “Then tell her the truth, but tell her all of it. Show her the letter I wrote, and don’t forget to tell her how your friend persuaded you, for you can believe I know how that scene played out. He’s the player, not you; I could spot that from the start.”

  “I’ll give her no excuses, for there are none. I made the decision to cheat her. Only, I thought it didn’t matter. I never thought I might want to marry her, nor that she might prefer me to Charles. It was no more serious to me than a schoolboy’s prank, a folly, a great unthinking folly, and I the thoughtless fool. No more to be said than that, and that I am sorry for causing her distress.”

  He left then and went to find her.

  Elaine had gone out to the greenhouse to confer with the gardener about the progress of the vegetables. That done, she headed slowly back towards the house, turning onto the longer path that wound through the neglected garden before connecting with the broader drive that encircled the great lawn and led to the house. She had been busy all morning and, despite the chill in the air, wanted to take advantage of a quiet moment alone to consider her situation.

  The realization that Mr. Merrival was lying to her had dawned slowly. She had merely felt uneasy at first, sensing something puzzling behind Mr. Merrival’s bouts of confusion. She had gradually noticed that it came upon him whenever he was questioned too closely about himself or about matters concerning his relationship with the Captain, and frequently right after he had one of those strange verbal stumbles.

  Then the Captain had lied to her outright, and Mr. Merrival had endorsed the lie with his silence, for it was clearly an impossibility that both men should exactly resemble their Merrival grandfather. She had retreated then, drawn back into herself, certain the Captain was lying, wanting to find some justification for Mr. Merrival’s acquiescence.

  Then Mr. Merrival had stumbled again, transforming “our gr-“ into “our guilty party”, when it had seemed to her almost certain that he had instead started to say “our great-grandfather”. And if that were so, then it could only mean that Mr. Merrival was her cousin.

  And then the answer had burst upon her with all the unwelcome agony of a blinding flash of light. She remembered his detailed knowledge of the Howard family history, the Captain’s evasions and facile explanations, her father’s smugness whenever he spoke of Mr. Merrival, and suddenly everything had made sense, and she had been staggered by how very much she wished that it did not.

  She had managed to conceal her awareness, aided by his single-minded attention to the task at hand. She had gone through the motions, exerting herself to be thorough as they had searched the library together, but her thoughts had begun a whirl of agonizing speculations and consternation that continued to this day.

  Mr. Merrival was a man she had admired and trusted, a man that she had believed she loved, a man that, despite all her common sense and cool disposition, she knew she loved still. This man that she loved was Lynnfield’s heir, not Philip Merrival, but Captain James Howard – a man about whom she knew nothing at all except that he was a liar.

  She cared nothing for the fact that the other gentleman, the one calling himself Captain Howard, was a liar as well, and her own Papa too (for she clearly saw his hand in this masquerade). None of that mattered. What mattered was that she loved a liar and she did not know how to stop loving him.

  She had told no one but Mary Hastings. She had told her on the
day when she was certain, when it had all made sense – the same day she had spoken to Mr. Merrival about lies, and seeing his stricken countenance, had known that the worst of her speculations was true. Before that moment, she had tried to believe that the false Captain Howard was the liar, and that Mr. Merrival was in some way trying to protect her. She had imagined that there was a dark secret, something terrible about the Howard family that he was afraid would overset her. Anything would have been better than a lie like this, a lie for the sake of her fortune.

  So she had asked him, and he had answered her with his eyes. And because he knew her so well (though she saw now that she did not know him at all), she knew that he had seen her take in his answer.

  That night Mary had listened to her and sat silent for some moments before saying, “It does not seem as if he were at all comfortable with his lies.”

  “No, no he isn’t. He turns quite red and stumbles over his words. No, say no more, Mary. He may be a bad liar, but he is still a liar. I will not add to his deceptions by selling myself a bargain. He is after my Great Aunt’s fortune like all of those others. Oh, I know Papa put him up to it. It’s exactly the sort of idiotic thing Papa would think of, and all because I told him I would not consider marrying the heir. Papa at least believes he is giving me Lynnfield. But Mr. Merrival – oh, he isn’t even Mr. Merrival – Captain Howard has no such excuse. Papa has persuaded him his only hope of marrying me and gaining the fortune is to pretend not to be himself. I wonder if they planned to tell me who he is before or after the wedding ceremony? Well, he knows now that that ship won’t sail!”

  They had talked no more. What was there to say? She had managed to finish the week of research in the library by staying focused on the tasks at hand, and since then had busied herself in preparations for the Christmas celebration. But her outward calm was belied by the turbulence of her thoughts, and now, standing alone in the garden, for the first time she let the full extent of her grief and her rage flow.

  And at that moment, as she stood with her fists clenched and tears streaming down her cheeks, the very object of her wrath intruded upon her privacy by striding briskly around the corner of an overgrown hedge of rose bushes.

  They faced each other, appalled. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her as she struggled for control.

  “Do go away!” She struck out at him, sobbing furiously, then grabbed the still extended handkerchief, turned her back, and blew her nose loudly into its soft white folds.

  “No, but you mustn’t! You mustn’t feel so!”

  “Just go away!”

  He retreated a step but then hesitated. “I will wait for you just beyond the hedge. There is a bench there. If you need assistance, you can call me. I will wait as long as you need me to. Oh my dear Miss Howard, I am so wretchedly sorry. You really mustn’t mind so much! You mustn’t. I am fully to blame. Oh, I must speak with you. No, I’m going. I’ll wait for you just there.”

  Elaine kept her back to him and scrubbed furiously at her face. She paced back and forth, striving to achieve an icy calm that would clearly indicate to him both the iniquity of his transgressions and the depth of her displeasure, not to mention her utter and complete indifference to him and his hateful machinations. Unfortunately at this point her powerful sense of the ridiculous interrupted her sobs with great gasps of laughter. It was, after all, perhaps a little late to communicate indifference. She came near to strangling herself caught between hoops of mirth and cries of anger and pain, pressing his handkerchief tight over her mouth. She thought she had never experienced anything so ridiculous as her own self pity, the melodrama of the moment, and the novelty of what she could only consider his abject babbling.

  When she could finally breathe again, and considered that she had recovered herself enough to conduct a conversation without relapsing into either tears or laughter, she swept around the hedge and confronted him stiffly.

  “So you must talk with me, must you? Well, which is it to be – a proposal or a confession?”

  He shook his head ruefully and repressed a twinkle that had appeared for just a moment at the corner of his eye. “A proposal? No, no, I’m sure there can be no hope for that. A confession it will have to be. Oh my dear, how can it be that you so delight me at the very moment that you have me positively quivering with terror, so great a terror, I might add, that I was sitting here considering a most ignominious retreat?”

  “After promising to wait? Not only a liar, but an oath-breaker as well? Yes, a confession is definitely in order.” She handed him his rather soggy handkerchief, sat down beside him, pulled her coat tight around her shoulders, and set her eyes upon him expectantly.

  “I am a liar,” he confessed, and added, “as you know.”

  “As you knew I knew, Captain Howard. So you can see there is little merit in such a confession.”

  “Yes, I knew. And I knew that you knew I knew. What I don’t know is, well, whether you know how very sorry I am. It was such a stupid prank to play, and I have no excuse for it, nor any good reason either. Only…”

  “Only what, Captain Howard? What excuse do you offer me?”

  “Only stupidity. Only that. And that almost as soon as we walked through the door, I knew it for what it was and regretted it.”

  “But did not recant.”

  “No. You can’t know how I wish that I had, but I did not. For I thought I ought to first tell…. Never mind. No excuses. I was wrong.”

  “To tell my father? No need to inform me that this was his brainchild. So why did you not tell him?”

  “I had no opportunity. He refused to see me. I was never alone with him after that first evening.”

  “And now?”

  “I have come directly from him.”

  “And he gave you his permission?”

  “No. That is, yes. But I did not ask for that. I only wanted to tell him. It seemed the honorable thing to do.”

  “Honor among liars? How inspirational! And who is this other charming liar, whom I have been calling Cousin these past weeks?”

  “His name is Lord Derring. He has an estate a few hours ride from here called Challon. We were childhood friends – most of what we have told you about us is true.”

  “Except for that oh so important detail – who you both actually are.”

  “Except for that.”

  “I suppose he was to be my fallback suitor – if I didn’t want you, I might be persuaded to marry him.”

  “No! Well, no, yes.”

  “Which is it, no or yes?”

  “Yes. I suppose he was.”

  “And were you in that case to, er, receive a commission?”

  “Oh no! Not that. No it was not like that at all! Only…”

  “Only…?”

  “Only, I never thought you would think of me at all. No woman ever has looked at me when Charles is about, nor for that matter have they cared much for me when he is absent. I have no address at all. I am hopelessly ignorant about women. I have no understanding. And Charles said…”

  “Yes? Charles said…? Really, Cousin, a confession must be done willingly and with a full heart, not something to be pulled from you one sentence at a time.”

  “Charles said that I don’t understand what women want – that they all want husbands and that if you didn’t like me, you might prefer to have a Viscount. And I said I wasn’t looking for a wife anyway, and that if you wanted him, he could have you with my blessing. Oh, Dear Heart, don’t look at me so. I did not know you. I had no idea. It was just foolish talk, and the charade no more than a silly school boy’s prank, and I am nothing if not a fool, for it never occurred to me that anyone could be hurt by it.”

  “It never occurred to you?”

  “No. I have told you I am a fool.”

  “And the fortune? You are telling me you didn’t want the fortune?”

  “It never occurred to me it was mine to want. No. I did not indulge in such idiocy for the fortune, but only because y
our father asked me to and Charles thought it an adventure and I did not want to be poor spirited. But no, I did not do this for gain, Dear Heart, but only for stupidity.”

  “Do not call me ‘Dear Heart’!”

  “No. I apologize. I have no right.”

  “Indeed you do not. So I am to forgive you then, because you tell me it was stupidity and not cupidity that led you astray?”

  “No. Such stupidity merits no forgiveness. If you should decide to forgive me it will only be because you have a forgiving disposition, not because I merit it.”

  She looked at him thoughtfully. “I have one more question for you.”

  “Anything.”

  “What do you think women want?”

  “Women? I’ve told you I know nothing of women.”

  “But what do you think women want? I insist upon an answer.”

  “Then I would have to say that it depends upon the woman – that individual women, like individual men, must all have their own individual desires and dreams, and the only way to know what a particular woman wants would be to ask her.”

  A very small smile briefly dimpled her cheek. “That is an excellent answer.”

  She quizzed him no more, but neither did she offer him forgiveness, though he hoped it was implied when she put her hand on his arm as they walked back up to the house together.

  As they entered the house, they met Lord Derring in the hallway, preparing to ride out.

  “Good afternoon, My Lord,” Elaine said demurely.

  “Good afternoon,” he replied. “And how are – oh! ‘My Lord’? I take it you’ve rumbled our little plot, Miss Howard? And the Captain, though sorely chastened I see, survives? Oh how magnanimous of you, my dear! I salute you!” And he bowed deeply.