Halfway Wicked (Wildes on the Hunt #1)

by Dara Kent

This is the same displaced image I saw in my nightmare. Is that what this is? Another nightmare?

  Despite that thought, my gut still twisted, pushing bile up my esophagus.

  “Please. Don’t do this. Riss. Fight it. This isn’t you. I refuse to believe it’s you.” He collapsed in a heap in front of me, his breathing labored. “You’re in there somewhere. Fight it.” A fresh wound appeared on his throat, and he gurgled on blood. “It’s not your fault. I forgive—” His chest stopped moving, his eyes fixated.

  No! Wake up, wake up, wake up! What the fuck is this? What does it mean?

  “You tried, though, didn’t you? To fight? To save your friend? But in the end, you were too weak to do anything but watch.” The insidious voice slithered through my mind, sticky as tar, contaminating everything it touched.

  Tomas’ body disappeared, there one moment gone the next, replaced by Devon.

  “Riss, please. You have to help me.” He clutched at my shirt, panic widening his eyes. “No, Riss, please. This isn’t you.” Blood and bruises covered his face and hands, his clothes in tatters. “Help me.” He dropped to his knees, several teeth falling from his mouth.

  “Help me!”

  I screamed, tearing at my hair.

  “Now, now, now. If you want to forget, to move on from all of this, all you have to do is let me help you. I can take full control.”

  “What?” Please wake up. That’s all this is. A horrible, horrible nightmare brought on by the stress.

  A woman replaced Devon’s prone form. Completely naked, she was tall and emaciated, her ribs protruding from her hairless body. She was also missing genitalia of any kind, the place where they should be smooth like a Barbie doll. Her eyes were large and luminous, regarding me with shrewd intelligence. How I could tell she was female was beyond me, but I just knew.

  She smiled, her white lips twisting to reveal razor-sharp teeth. “Don’t play coy now. We’re already well acquainted I would say.”

  Backing up a few steps, I shook my head. “I don’t know you.”

  “You do. I’m the one who’s been sharing your body since that night outside of Zeffer, that quaint human club.”

  I stilled. “No. I fought a BBD and was knocked unconscious. I got sloppy. But Jensen came and—”

  “And what?”

  “I don’t know. Took me home. Made sure I was okay.” I hated to admit even to myself that Jensen possibly had saved my life.

  She laughed, the sound like nails on a chalkboard. “I never thought I’d have much use for a boy in love, much less a warlock, but I must admit, having him cover for us has been useful. We probably would have been found out by now if not for him”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” And I didn’t. I’d been thrown into some kind of whacky nightmare I couldn’t seem to escape, or even understand for that matter.

  “Let me put all the cards on the table for you. After all, it’s why I brought you here. I grow impatient of sitting in the dark corners of your mind, waiting to take over. It’s time for me to have full control.”

  Spinning in a small circle, I studied the box we were in. “Where exactly is here?”

  She prowled closer, her smile growing wider. “In your mind.”

  “No. Twice marked are immune to demon possessions. It’s one of the few perks we enjoy.”

  “Who said I’m a demon?”

  I opened my mouth and snapped it shut, blinking rapidly. “What else could you be?”

  “There are other things.”

  My gaze roved over her, assessing, as I tried to remember any information about a supernatural creature that might fit her description. I came up empty. “Enough with the games. What are you?”

  “I’m not the one playing games. I’m not the one who locked me in this box in your mind.” She inched ever closer. “I’ve been searching for a way out for a long time. Our goals are the same. If you let me help you that is. Give me control.”

  A brittle laugh rattled my chest. “I can pretty much guarantee our goals are not the same.”

  “Mmm … can you then?” She began circling me, and I turned with her to keep her fully within view. “I want to be free of both Lucifer and God’s game. You speak of not wanting to play any games, and yet you play theirs every single day of your life. Don’t you want to be free, too?”

  “I have to play the game.” She was just another demon attempting to prey on my weakness, which was my desire to no longer be twice marked. To have the freedom to live my life without worry of burning in Hell for all eternity. I should be immune to possession, but she somehow managed to slip in. Occam’s razor.

  She shook her bald head slowly. “Ah, but you don’t have to play. Or rather, we can start our own game, make our own rules.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest, growing weary of the conversation which wasn’t going anywhere. “Get to your point so I can tell you to fuck off.”

  She made a chuffing sound. “I do like you, human. If you let me, we could be friends.”

  “I don’t pick demons for friends.”

  “Good, because I’m not a demon.”

  “So you’ve said, but I don’t believe you.”

  “I am angel. Or at one time I was. But I chose to fall. I was the first. Not kicked out from Heaven like Lucifer and all that followed him. Once humans were involved, Father got cranky about things.” She lifted one shoulder in a casual shrug. “But I left before the birth of man, motivated by my desire to be free of rules. All rules aside from my own.”

  “Lies,” I spat. “You lie just like every other demon. Lucifer was the first of the fallen, the first—”

  “As he would have you believe. He was not the first fallen angel, but he was the first male fallen, and just like every other male of any species, he decided to ignore what the woman did first because it inconvenienced his narrative.”

  Laughter bubbled up, exploding from my chest. “No, please, stop.” I waved my free hand in front of me, the other clutching my middle. “You’re trying to tell me that Lucifer wasn’t the first fallen angel, but he was the first misogynist. No. You took it too far. The lie is too elaborate. You need to go with something simple, seriously.”

  She growled, low and long. “I want to end Lucifer and God. I want to start a new world. One where we all have choices. And together we can make that happen.”

  “If you’re the first, then that means you’re powerful. Likely as powerful as Lucifer—”

  “Not as powerful as Lucifer,” she hissed, claws extending from her hands. “Because when he fell, he imprisoned me. Even now, my true form, my body, is held captive by him. He has yet to figure out that I can send my essence to Earth now to climb into human’s bodies.”

  I tapped my foot against the ground, impatience taking hold. “I’m over this entire scene. You’re a demon, somehow in my head, trying to convince me to give you control of my body. Not going to happen.”

  Questions raced through my mind, too many to count. What had she meant about Jensen covering for her slash us? Why did I keep seeing Tomas and Devon, bloodied and dying? Why did the crazed kid from Belle Meade claim I’d been present and unable to help my friends because I was too weak? The answers seemed obvious—I was possessed—but more than likely the demon wanted me to think I had less control than I actually did. She wouldn’t be in the process of trying to convince me to give up my body if she could snatch it away at her own accord.

  “Fine, I can feel your doubt. You don’t believe me.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “Yeah, I don’t think you need to feel anything to come to that conclusion. I’ve told you that point-blank.”

  “Let me show you.”

  A barrage of scenes flooded my mind, all of them playing out at once, bits and pieces of disjointed conversation in a language I’d never heard before, but was able to understand and retain.

  “Lilith,” Lucifer purred. “I never thought to see you again. Can’t say I’m glad about it though.”

  �
�Just leave me be and I’ll leave you be, Lucifer. I have no quarrel with you.”

  “Ah, but I won’t wait around for you to become a problem.”

  Screams filled my ears, raw and agonizing.

  “Calm down, Lilith. You won’t feel anything at all soon.” A low chuckle. “Or maybe you will. Not that I care either way.”

  More screams, a flash of a fire-consumed body from first-person point of view, skin regenerating before immediately blackening again.

  Abruptly it all stopped, the pressure within my skull subsiding. Tears streaming down my face, I lifted my gaze from the ground, meeting Lilith’s. “How do I know that wasn’t just another trick?”

  “I left Heaven on good terms with God. At least I thought that to be the case. I fell, but it was a choice that was seemingly accepted. When Lucifer was pushed from Heaven, he took it upon himself to imprison me and to make me suffer. I prayed. I begged for mercy. A daughter to a father asking to return home. But I was ignored. Punished for daring to think for myself.”

  “I don’t think—”

  She slithered closer. “I’ve been to every dark corner of your mind, exploring. You are like me, the one I’ve been searching for. The one who can help free us all. Only together we can win.”

  “Why can’t you do it all by yourself? Or with some random meat suit?”

  “I burn through regular humans, and the Hell marked. It’s the special combination of the twice marked that can hold me. Help me.”

  “All of this seems mighty convenient if you ask me, and you are since you’re in my mind. You show up spouting off about feminism, because face it, you are, equal rights for fallen male or female angels, am I right? Then you claim we’re the same—that our goals align. I know a snow job when I hear one. And lady, fallen, demon, whatever you are, this is a snow job. Next, you’ll be presenting me with charts and Venn diagrams.

  “Wait!” I raised my hand in her face before she could offer another perfect reply. “Let’s not forget the ‘I’m special’ part. Because everyone likes to hear that.”

  “Not special in the way you think. But kindred spirits.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I’m still holding out hope that this is a nightmare I’m going to wake up from at any moment.”

  “It’s not.” Her lips twitched as if she thought my suffering was funny.

  Stalking forward, I narrowed my eyes at Lilith, or whatever her true name was. She stood her ground, watching me come, not intimidated in the least even though she was playing on my home turf if what she said was true and we were indeed in my mind.

  “Tell me why I saw Tomas and Devon, first in my nightmare intermingled with memories and then now before you appeared in this box.”

  She tapped her chin with her razor-sharp claws, blood blooming. “You won’t like the answer.”

  “If you want me to believe anything you said, you can start with the hard truths.”

  “I did manage to take control of your body for a time. To break free from this prison in your mind. And while I was free to play, I was searching for the same thing everyone else is—the weapon.”

  My eyes slid shut, my body wracked with shudders as Tomas and Devon’s faces danced behind my eyelids. “I was there, or my body was. And on some level, I registered it.”

  “Yes.”

  What must they have thought of me in those last moments when their lives had been ripped from them? Tomas begged for me to fight, Devon for my help. I let them both die. I watched. The kid had been right. I watched, too weak to do anything. And I’d woken up afterwards with no knowledge except what was buried deep in my psyche. I laughed and smiled, mourned and cried, went about my life as usual when I could have prevented all of it.

  Dropping to my knees, I slammed my fists against my thighs. “You let my friends die, and now you want me to work with you?” My eyes snapped open, a growl vibrating my chest. “It’s never going to happen.”

  She tilted her head, the light glinting off her bald scalp. “Now, what is it that you humans say? Never say never, isn’t it? I do believe that applies here. You want the weapon, and together we can get it. We can work together to a satisfactory ending for both of us. We can make a bargain.”

  “Can you bring Tomas and Devon back?”

  “No.”

  “Then you can fuck off. Fallen angel or demon, I’ll find a way to kill you.”

  “I can’t bring your friends back, but I can prevent more of them from dying. If you work with me.”

  I grinned. “Haven’t you gotten the memo? I don’t need anyone’s help.”

  Leaping to my feet, I hurled myself at her, my hands wrapping around her throat. Her eyes met mine as she gasped for air, claws dragging down my arms.

  “Do you think you’ll die if I kill you in here? Guess we’ll find out soon enough.”

  Her claws and teeth peeled the flesh from my bones as she struggled against me, but I held on, ignoring all of it. Physical pain was fleeting. Knowing that she forced me to stand by while Tomas and Devon had been tortured—it gave me the kind of mental fortitude to cling to her, to steel my will to outlast hers, especially while in my own mind. Here I was the most powerful of all. I simply had to realize it first before I could take control.

  Screaming my rage, I tore at her with my blunt teeth, mirroring her every move. Blood and gore, some mine, some hers, intermingled. Her claws sliced at my neck. I laughed as a metallic tang, thick and heavy, sloshed down the back of my throat. Spots danced in front of my eyes, and still, I held on.

  Together we collapsed, both of us still fighting, my vision dimming.

  “I’ll never let you win,” I choked out, the words barely audible.

  Heat erupted around me, all-consuming, burning me alive. Together we screamed until our lungs blackened and shriveled. Together we died.

  24

  Standing in front of my childhood home, I blinked, confused about how I’d gotten there. The last I remembered, I was trapped in my mind with Lilith, locked in a battle to the death. Did I win? And if not, what happened?

  “Risss!” Lily ran around the side of the house, ponytails flying. She grinned up at me, both of her front teeth missing. “I losst another one. Do you think the tooth fairy will bring me more money?”

  Frozen in place, I stared at the younger version of my sister, who seemed oblivious to my adjustment in age to an adult. I have to still be lost in my mind.

  When I didn’t respond, Lily crossed her tiny arms over her chest. “Stop being pisssy, Risssy.” She stuck her tongue out. “Pisssy Risssy.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d almost forgotten how Lily had called me that when she was a kid. Add in the slur from her missing teeth, and it was damn adorable. I’m pretty sure I didn’t think that back in the day though.

  “Iss not funny.”

  I offered her my hand. “Of course not. And don’t worry. The tooth fairy will give you more money for your tooth.”

  She led me around to the backyard. “Do you think I look weird with no front teeth?” She curled her upper lip under, making a sucking noise. “It feels weird.”

  “Everyone goes through it. And your new teeth will grow in soon.”

  “Mmkay.”

  “Where are we going?” My mind was clearly trying to communicate something to me, so I figured I’d go along with it. Hopefully, it didn’t end in a disturbing mess of gore, but I wasn’t optimistic about that prospect.

  Lily didn’t answer, continuing to tug me along after her. My head whipped around as we made our way through the house, nostalgia warming my chest. Suddenly, we stood at my bedroom door, my sister staring up at me expectantly.

  “What? Do you want me to go in?”

  “There’s something in there.”

  “What? What’s in there?”

  “Make it go away, Risss. Peeaassse.”

  Dropping her hand, I pushed into my childhood bedroom, gaze darting around warily. The door swung shut behind me, kid Lily on the other side. Things seemed n
ormal inside, nothing out of place as far as I could tell. I let my fingertips graze over various items I hadn’t thought about in years, long-forgotten toys and knickknacks.

  “What is this?” Whipping around, I came face-to-face with a younger version of myself. She peered up at me with curiosity. “What is this?” She pointed at the wall behind my desk, which she’d pulled out to get a better look at something.

  Skirting around her, I stopped short. There along the wall was a deep crack, dark veins stretching beyond it. I reached out my hand, then recoiled. “I don’t know.”

  “Has it always been there?”

  “I don’t know what it is, so I don’t know.”

  Teenaged me tilted her head, pursing her lips. “I think I know what it is.”

  “What?”

  “I’m infected. I can feel it spreading.” She shuddered. “It’s dark. And cold.”

  My chest tightened, and my heart thrashed against my ribcage. This is it. This is what I’m trying to communicate to myself. And fuck if I didn’t take it to the next level to make it literal by actually talking to a younger version of myself. “Did something change?”

  “You couldn’t kill Lilith. You absorbed her. She’s in us now.”

  My breath lodged in my throat. “What does that mean?” I choked out.

  A myriad of images crashed through me, some of the same from what Lilith had already shown me, others new and disturbing. I was filled to the brim with her knowledge, all of it downloaded into my brain. I had indeed absorbed her essence and her knowledge. It was like harboring a ghost of her within my soul. She wasn’t truly sentient, and yet she wasn’t obliterated.

  “We’ll be stronger at least,” teenaged me said. “And we know a lot more than we ever thought we would.”

  “God does exist,” I breathed. I finally had proof. There it all was laid out in front of me in Lilith’s memories. She’d told me the truth. Color me shocked.

  It all led me to one inevitable conclusion.

  I know what I have to do.

  Closing my eyes, I shoved my consciousness into the waking world.

  Sound filtered in first.