A Change In Tide (Northern Lights Book 1)

by Freya Barker

  Jared

  “You’re an idiot.”

  It doesn’t surprise me Jordy feels it necessary to repeat that thought once again. She’s only told me the same thing at least ten times tonight. Starting when I stood there watching Mia walk away. Having my sister tell me I’m an idiot for the tenth time doesn’t make it any clearer than when she told me that first time. I’m still lost as to why I’m the idiot.

  All I did was come home from training camp and chill out with my family. I’m not sure what happened this weekend that had Mia pack her bag and head for the hills, and little of what she said in explanation made sense to me. Was she done with me? I’d left her in bed early Saturday morning, still limp and drowsy from the orgasm I gave her with my mouth. I’d withheld my own, thinking it might give me a sharper edge during camp, and had every intention of claiming my own release tonight. Then she walked out that door and my need turned to anger.

  Fuck.

  I’d all but bared my soul, right into her lap, when all she’d done is whisper a few words into the dark. Maybe she hadn’t even been talking to me.

  “God, Jared. Get your head out of your ass,” Jordy hisses, squeezing herself between me and the sliding door I was peering out of. My gaze slides down to meet her exasperated expression. “You’re acting like she’s left you.”

  “She has,” I counter immediately.

  “You’re blind and you’re an idiot,” she huffs, shoving lightly against my chest. “It’s not that complicated, but you can’t seem to get it through your big head. And for the record, it’s not just your head that’s big. Your ego could stand to take it down a notch or two as well. Let me see if I can dumb it down for you. Everything is a struggle for Mia. Nothing comes easy for her. She’s had to adapt and adjust, and she’s had to fight to do it. You, on the other hand, are so used to simply expecting to get what you want, you don’t even know what it means to struggle.” Her hand comes up to stop me when I want to protest. “I know things haven’t always been easy. Especially not after Mom and Dad died, but you’ve always had people around you working to smooth things out. You know I’m right,” she adds when she sees me raise my eyebrows. “Even with Mia. She’s done nothing but adapt, since we basically forced ourselves into her life. We forced ourselves, but we never had to adjust to her being there. Not ever. That was all on her. Even your reaction now; you’re pissed and standing here all self-righteous, glaring at her cottage from the safety of your house. Why? Because you didn’t get what you expected? Because she chose for herself? Think about that, Jared, think about it hard,” she says, accompanying her words with a solid punch to my shoulder. “I’m going to bed. I want to get a few hours in before my little bottomless pit wakes up again.”

  I don’t say a word as she moves away. I barely notice her disappearing down the hall to her room. My eyes are focused, once again, on the dark cottage across the inlet. I take my sister’s advice; I think hard.

  -

  When the sky starts lighting up again around six the next morning, my eyes are gritty, and no longer angry, as they continue to stare across the water. I may have dozed off a time or two since I flipped a chair around to face the glass doors and sat my weary ass down, but every time they’d open, Mia’s cottage was front and centre. And I thought...I thought so damn hard all night, my head’s throbbing with it.

  Jordy spouted some stuff last night that wasn’t easy to listen to. Brutal even, but also the truth. As a result, I’m feeling less than stellar about myself this morning. I tried hard to disprove the picture she painted last night, the one where I’ve not had to fight for much, but I couldn’t. Other than my parents’ death, life has been pretty damn accommodating for me. And I’ve done little but sit back and have all good things come to me. Even my grand gesture of taking in my pregnant sister, was more selfish than it was selfless. I wanted her near—my family near—and didn’t have to fight for it either.

  Everything I’ve done this summer was to satisfy my needs.

  “Did you even go to bed?” Jordy’s voice has me twist my head around. She walks up to me, her hair piled messily on her head, clearly straight out of bed, with Ole happily snuggled under her chin. She lets him go when I reach out for him, and lay him on my chest, kissing his warm head.

  “No,” I softly admit.

  “Mmmm.” I feel her fingers run through my hair, and I grab her wrist before she can pull away.

  “I’m an idiot,” I whisper, pressing her hand against my face. Her lips ghost over my other cheek with a soft peck.

  “I love you,” she gently says as she pulls away. “And you need a haircut.”

  “Not the beard, though.” I smile at the easy transition from the heavy to the mundane, as only my sister can manage.

  “I’ll leave the beard, but the hair’s gotta go. Next thing you know, you’ll be donning a man bun. I don’t think I’d be able to live with that.” She shudders dramatically as she comes back to the chair, toting scissors.

  “Actually, buzz it?”

  “What? The hair? That short?”

  “Yeah,” I confirm with a smile. “Clippers are in the vanity in my bathroom. I don’t want bald, but as close to it as you can get.”

  “You sure? You only used to do that at the beginning of a new season.” I can hear the hesitation in her voice, but I’m determined.

  I’ve had my head up my ass, thinking a new start in life meant all I had to do was change my circumstances. But if I truly want a new beginning—a total change in tide—I have to start with me.

  “That’s what I want. Mark the start of an entirely new season.”

  THIRTY

  Mia

  A knock at my door has me scramble to my feet, almost tripping over the quilt tangled around my legs.

  -

  I haven’t slept well. Not last night and not the night before. The porch couch might be good for a nap, here or there, but spending entire nights on there has my body aching. It doesn’t help that I missed Jared yesterday. I haven’t seen him at all. When I went over yesterday, Jordy and Ole had been outside. Apparently Jared had left early to sign the contract with the Colts.

  Brian had stayed in Barrie Sunday night, but Jared had wanted to come home according to Jordy. Well, if that didn’t make me feel all kinds of guilty. He drove all the way home, knowing he had to be back there in the morning anyway, and I basically walked right out of the door when he got there.

  When John popped over in the early afternoon, I came back here and spent the rest of the day stripping my bedroom. Pulled down the curtains, took off my bedding and stuffed it all in garbage bags. Too big to wash by hand, so I’d either have to take them to the laundromat, or see if I could wash them at Jared’s. If those rust coloured stains could even be washed out. Maybe throwing them out would be the best option. I managed to wash down the walls, and any blood I could see on the furniture, but the carpet had been beyond salvaging. So I started pulling that up.

  A fucking mess. I spent four hours last night cursing the idiot who thought it was a good idea to glue carpet straight to the floorboards. And not just in a few places, every-damn-where. I was barely able to get one corner up, resorting to cutting away at it strip by strip, with an old box cutter I found in the kitchen drawer. The metal spatula I’d tried to use to scrape the glue off the boards was still laying in the bathroom where I’d tossed it. In two pieces.

  That’s when I’d given up. Frustrated I’d plopped down on the couch, only to see Jared’s car parked in his driveway. No idea how long he’d been home, I tried not to feel hurt he hadn’t shown himself.

  -

  I manage to wrap the quilt around me and shuffle to the front door, where Griffin is already waiting at attention. Despite my efforts not to get too hopeful, I can’t help the nugget of hope that Jared might be on the other side, but when I pull open the door it’s clearly not him. An older man, maybe late fifties, shuffles his feet a little as he clamps his baseball cap in his hands.

  “Morning?�
�

  “Yes, morning, Ms. Thompson?”

  “That’s me,” I prompt the man, who looks to be a little nervous. I peek over his shoulder to check if he’s alone, but all I see is an old beat up pickup truck with Contractor painted on the side. “Can I help you?”

  “Ah...I’m here to fix window?” This time it’s his turn to check behind him.

  “Oh.” I must look as puzzled as I feel, because he hurries to explain.

  “Mr. Kesla not here? He call.”

  “He did? I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t understand. Mr. Kesla is my neighbour. Perhaps you took the wrong turn?” As soon as the words leave my mouth I realize this man knew my name, so maybe he is in the right place. Pulling the quilt a little tighter around me, I probe a little. “Why don’t you tell me what brought you here?”

  He straightens his shoulders visibly before he answers. “I was at daughter house yesterday. I miss the call. Check message this morning, Mr. Kesla say window need fixing at Thompson cottage, first thing. So I come right after breakfast. My name is Joe Manusco. I not live far; down road in Gravenhurst. The wife and me move here when daughter leave home. That’s where I was last night. Julia, my daughter, she and husband have house in Orillia.” I bite down a chuckle at his tendency to over-share in his thickly accented English. When he notices he suddenly snaps his mouth shut.

  “Well, Joe,” I jump ahead. “I wasn’t aware a call had been made, but let me show you the problem. And it’s not the window, it’s actually the screen.” I step aside to let him in as Griffin cautiously sniffs.

  “Holy sh...oot!” Joe says grabbing for his nose when we walk down the hall to the bedroom. Right. I probably should’ve warned him about the smell. “What died?”

  “Bobcat.” I explain the state I found my place in, while he pokes around my bedroom, hissing disapprovingly when he sees my handiwork on the floor.

  “Need tools,” he grumbles, squeezing past me, and leaving me standing in the middle of the stinky room.

  I look longingly in the direction of the bathroom, where I’d hoped to have a shower at some point, but it looks like that might have to wait. I’m not getting naked with a strange man in the house. I snatch some clean clothes, and still wrapped in the quilt, shuffle back to my spot on the porch, where I quickly get dressed underneath the cover.

  -

  “How did he know?”

  I finally called Jordy, after spending the better part of my morning trying to get a hold of Jared. He either has his phone off, or is ignoring my calls, because I ended up in voicemail every time.

  I’m due at Rueben’s for my weekly appointment in an hour and would like some reassurances before I leave Joe alone in my house. The screen is fixed, but last time I checked, he was chipping glue off my floor boards. I have a feeling he won’t leave until my carpet is up.

  “Jake told him about the bobcat, and I may have mentioned you were busy trying to clean the place,” she says carefully.

  “He asked about me?” Crap. Now I sound, and don’t just feel, like a teenage girl gagging for attention. Jordy’s chuckle proves my self-assessment is right on the money.

  “Chill, chicklet,” she teases. “He may have been a bit pissy at first, but it’s not like you broke up with him. He gets that, and I promise he’s not purposely ignoring you, he’s just busy in all-day meetings, putting together the team for the coming season.”

  Don’t I feel like a fool? Of course he’s busy in his new job, which makes taking the time to contact a contractor for me a pretty sweet gesture. I’m starting to wonder if it wouldn’t have just been easier to stay over there.

  “Okay, but do you know anything about this guy he sent over? I have to go into town.”

  “Ms. Thompson?” The guy in question pokes his head outside. I hope I didn’t say anything offensive, but he just smiles when I pull the phone away.

  “Yes?”

  “Sorry for interruption. I have to go. I’ll come back tomorrow. Eight o’clock.”

  Before I even have a chance to open my mouth, he’s disappeared back inside, and a few seconds later I hear the front door slam behind him.

  “Problem solved,” I announce to Jordy sheepishly.

  “I heard. Look, I’ve gotta run; my boy is demanding attention.” I can hear Ole exercise his lungs in the background.

  “Talk to you later. And, Jordy? Thanks.” There is a lot said with that single syllable, but somehow I think she hears every last bit of it.

  A quick glance at the clock shows I’m going to have to hustle to make my appointment in time. The temperature’s dropped a little the last few days, so I shrug on a zippered hoodie and grab my purse.

  “You stay here,” I say to Griffin. “I won’t be long.” Pulling the door shut, I make my way over to my RAV, my fingers crossed it’ll start without a problem.

  I’m halfway there when I see it; a slip of paper wedged under my windshield wiper. Immediately, I scan my surroundings. Jared kept Jake on, at the gate, for a bit longer, until he is sure the press has lost interest, but maybe someone slipped by. I’m a little jittery when I snatch the folded note from the windshield and can’t hold back blowing out a deep breath when I open it.

  Beautiful,

  Hope you have a good day. Joe is a solid guy, let him do his thing.

  Drive safe!

  Jared

  PS. Waking up without you SUCKS.

  I don’t bother hiding the smile as I slip behind the wheel and start up the car. And the smile stays, all the way into town.

  Jared

  “Home opening game, September twenty-first, folks. Two more weeks to go. We’ve got a good group of boys, some new blood on the bench as well as behind it.” The Colts’ head coach gives a nod in my direction, before addressing the team again. I let his words flow over me as I look down at the phone in my hand.

  You made me forget what alone feels like.

  That was probably too sappy. I’d had this grand idea of sending her little messages, but I’m clearly running out of material.

  Yesterday, Joe started at her place. When I first heard what happened, I’d been halfway out the door before Jordy stopped me.

  “Let her,” she said. Those two simple words enough to stop me in my tracks. Let her. Jake had just chuckled and walked past me out the door, and I was tempted to wipe the smirk off his face. I was pissed that everyone seemed to understand Mia better than me. Even the fucking security guy. It had taken everything out of me to turn around, head into my office, and get in touch with the contractor who’d built my deck. My ability to let her handle things only went so far.

  Practice and meetings kept me busy well into the evening yesterday, and I ended up spending the night in Barrie. An empty bed is just that, wherever it’s located. Tonight I have plans, which is why I’ve been sending her texts, every now and then, after leaving that note on her windshield yesterday morning on my way out.

  She hasn’t responded to any of them.

  “Alright people,” coach says, breaking into my thoughts. “As promised, an early day today, a day off tomorrow, but I expect everyone back here Friday morning, bright and early. Three hour practice to start, and then we hop on the bus to Sudbury. Our first pre-season game against the Wolves.” Cheers and whistles go up from the team. These kids are hungry to get on the ice. Coach claps me on the shoulder when he passes me. “Nice haircut, Kesla.”

  I follow the crowd outside, where my car is in its assigned slot. The only sedan here, everyone else drives utility vehicles. I guess the rugged SUVs are more suited to living in the snowbelt. On a whim, I drive straight to the Toyota dealership by the highway. What can I say, sometimes money is handy. It gets things done.

  When an hour later, I’m about to drive a decked out floor model 4Runner off the lot, a text notification dings on my phone.

  I miss you too. xox

  -

  “Can I drive it?” Jordy is pushing every damn button and opening all the compartments in the new Toyota. She had
the passenger door already open, before I’d even turned the engine off.

  “Fuck no,” I react. “Get your own new car.”

  “Maybe I will,” she says, sticking her tongue out. Suddenly I feel sixteen again, when I came home with my driver’s license, and Jordy pestered me until I took her to the Dairy Freeze in the old pickup Dad saved for me. It makes me smile and I turn around in my seat.

  “How about when the season gets underway, before winter hits, we go see what else they’ve got at the dealer’s? That cookie tin you’re driving probably won’t make it up the hill after the first snowfall.”

  “Red,” she blurts out.

  “Sorry?”

  “It’s gotta be red. I don’t care what it is, as long as it’s red.”

  “I was thinking along the lines of all-wheel drive to get you up the hill. Something with a little higher wheel base, so you wouldn’t get stuck in the snow that easily, and you’re worried about the colour?” I throw her an incredulous look as she shrugs her shoulders at me.

  “Those things are fine...as long as it come in red.” The big grin on her face is contagious as she slips from the passenger side.

  I hadn’t noticed what she’s wearing, but with her hair curling down her back and the skirt of the pretty, floral dress bouncing around her legs, it’s clear she’s dressed to go out. I track behind her inside.

  “Where are you off to?” I want to know as she starts moving toward the nursery, not stopping as she answers.

  “John is picking us up soon.” I follow her into Ole’s room, where she’s just picking him up from the crib. “Will you grab his diaper bag for me?”

  “Us? You’re taking Ole out?” I can hear myself and I wince at the whine in my questions. She turns to me with a little smile teasing her lips.

  “We’re not going out,” she says, burying her face in the baby’s neck. “He’s cooking me dinner at his house.” She walks into her bedroom, the baby on her arm, and snatches an overnight bag from the bed. “He’s dropping us off before his shift tomorrow. Today’s his only day off.”