Always Means Forever

by Deborah Fletcher Mello

  He was suddenly aware of Bridget boldly stroking his upper thigh as she shifted her leg between his legs, her knee gently caressing the apex of his crotch. When she moved to undo his belt buckle, pulling at his pants zipper, his nerves suddenly kicked into overdrive. Sensation failed him and fear reared an ugly head to spoil the moment. His body tensed as he grasped her hands beneath his own.

  “Bridget, stop, please,” Darwin muttered, his voice cracking. There was a tear in the corner of his eye and Bridget watched as it dropped onto his cheek and rolled down over his chin. He eased his body away from hers, moving to the other end of the couch. The space between them was suddenly a wide gully of discomfort, confusion and quiet chaos.

  “Is something wrong?” she asked, her expression concerned.

  He shook his head. He stammered, searching for a response that would ease them out of the moment. “I…I…just…”

  As his gaze moved away from hers, she sensed his discomfort, then suddenly remembered what the problem was. Bridget moved back next to him and pressed both of her palms to his face as she kissed his mouth. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and neck and hugged him tightly. “I don’t care,” she whispered into his ear. “It will happen for us when it’s supposed to.”

  “What if it doesn’t?” Darwin whispered back. “What if I can’t ever—”

  “Shh.” She brushed her mouth against his for a second time. “Hush. Figuring out other ways that we can bring each other pleasure will be half the fun. Right now, though, you have other things on your mind. I understand that. We’re sitting up here playing house like we haven’t got anything else to do. Once the pressure’s off and you can relax I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

  Darwin hugged her back, holding her tightly. “I sure hope you’re right, Bridget. I want to make love to you so badly that it hurts.”

  “See. Desire is half the battle. The rest will fall into place when it’s time. Now just isn’t the time.”

  Wanting to believe her, Darwin nodded his head. He reached for the lamp on the table at his side and switched on the light. Taking a quick glance at his wristwatch he brushed his palms against his pant leg and tossed Bridget a quick glance. Although he didn’t want to say so out loud, he desperately needed to be alone.

  She smiled sweetly as if reading his mind. “I should head on home. I have a ton of research to do to prepare my brief and get your case filed. I should probably get to bed early. Besides, a girl needs all the beauty rest she can get.”

  Darwin forced himself to smile back. “You won’t need much sleep then.” He brushed his index finger down the line of her profile.

  “Flattery will get you everywhere, Mr. Tolliver.”

  “That and my banana cream mousse.”

  “Yeah, that mousse was good.”

  He gave her a quick wink as he followed her to the door.

  Bridget turned, moving to stroke his arm. She caressed him warmly before she stepped outside. “Thank you for dinner, Darwin.”

  “I’m usually better company than this, Bridget. I hope you don’t…”

  She stalled his words with another gentle squeeze to his upper arm. “Just say good-night and if you get a chance, give me a call tomorrow,” she said.

  Darwin nodded his head, then grimaced, his face twisting as if he were in pain. “I completely forgot,” he said, slapping his palm to his forehead. “I’m not here tomorrow. We’re shooting off-site and I’ll be away for a few days.”

  “That’s okay,” Bridget responded. “You have to handle your business.”

  “But I will call. Every chance I get. I promise.”

  Bridget led the way out his front door as Darwin walked her to her car, wrapping her in one last hug before making sure she was secure behind the wheel of her automobile. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, watching as she pulled out of the parking area and headed down the road. When the last flicker of her taillights turned the corner out of his sight, he headed back inside, closing and locking the door behind him.

  He stood with his back against the door frame, leaning on it for support, his hands pushed deep into his pockets. He was experiencing sensory overload, every nerve ending in his body feeling as if it were ready to explode from sheer stress. It felt as if the weight of the world had fallen on his shoulders and he couldn’t find the strength or the energy to keep it from crushing him into the ground. He heaved a deep sigh, blowing a gale of warm breath out past his parted lips.

  Moving into the family room, he fell across the chenille sofa, stretching his body from one end of the unit to the other. He thought about Bridget. He had loved the feel of her in his arms, how nicely they fit against one another. He would have given anything to have swept her up in his arms to carry her into his bedroom to lie against the freshly washed sheets he’d put on the bed. He’d wanted to press himself into her, to revel in the feel of her body wrapped around his own. His heart and his mind hadn’t needed any encouragement, but his manhood had made it clear that he needed some serious assistance. He couldn’t help wondering if anything fazed Bridget, her calm and collected demeanor seeming to take it and everything else in stride. As much as he’d wanted her gone just minutes before, he now wished her back. He would have given almost anything to have her still there lying by his side.

  Bridget couldn’t believe herself. It had only been an incredible dinner, a bottle of expensive wine, dim lights and incense, and she’d been ready to drop her panties right there on the man’s sofa. She could still feel his hands on her body, her skin feeling as if he’d burned an imprint across her flesh. Just thinking about his touch was causing her to breathe heavily and she rolled down the window, allowing the night air to blow into her face.

  She couldn’t begin to imagine what Darwin was thinking about her and the way she’d behaved. She shook her head. Lord, my mother didn’t raise me to be so easy, she thought. Although it broke her heart to see him so distressed by his predicament, Bridget was grateful for the diversion. Two dinners didn’t make a relationship and she hadn’t intended to act so brazenly. Bridget was sure Darwin had women throwing themselves at him all the time. Ava had been proof of that. She surely didn’t want to give the man the impression that she was that way, and had he not stopped her, there was no telling what she would have done.

  She had wanted him. Badly. Had his fingers crept just an inch closer to her secret treasure it would have been all over. All day she’d been fantasizing about the two of them, barely able to concentrate on anything else. She had envisioned the two of them making love over and over again, only managing to disentangle their bodies from each other for brief moments. She’d imagined the long, lingering kisses Darwin would plant against her body until they both got slick and sweaty. And then there would have been showers, warm, wet escapades beneath the spray of a double showerhead. Bridget had foreseen them kissing, caressing, climaxing and dozing off in each other’s arms. Then one would gently awaken the other with more kisses and caresses, and it would start all over again. Her fantasies had been fueled knowing she would be spending the evening in his company.

  The loud horn of a passing vehicle brought her back to reality and Bridget gasped loudly, her attention moving back to the road ahead of her. Darwin was surely messing with her concentration and all she really wanted was to turn her car around to head right back into his arms.

  Chapter 11

  Ella was glad for the day to be over and even happier that it was the end of her workweek. She was looking forward to the weekend and the two-day reprieve from her responsibilities at the station. The pressure had increased tenfold and it was starting to wear on her energy level. She was also weary of Darwin Tolliver and the permanent pout that seemed to fill his face every time he was in her presence. She’d figured he would be over himself by now but she’d been wrong.

  Moving into her galley kitchen she pulled an open bottle of Chianti from the refrigerator and poured herself a large glassful. She didn’t have an appetite for food
but had spent most of the afternoon looking forward to coming home and kicking back with some Boney James on her CD player and a good bottle of wine.

  Kicking off her shoes, she slipped out of her clothes and dropped down against her living room sofa. She drew her forearm over her forehead, closing her eyes as she settled down against the cushions.

  Boney was blowing a soothing tune across her spirit, the easy syncopation of the saxophone like a freesia-scented balm filling the air around her. Ella didn’t like it, but she had to admit things weren’t going as well as she’d hoped. Reaching for the wineglass resting on the coffee table, she swigged a large mouthful and then a second.

  Although her plan hadn’t backfired altogether, it hadn’t played out as nicely as she had plotted. She’d predicted the public interest, certain that her baby sister would generate plenty of attention to herself and Darwin. And where she’d anticipated Mr. Nice Guy Darwin Tolliver would have shrugged it off, perhaps even being amused by all the attention, the man was instead acting like someone had accused him of bloody murder.

  As well, the station’s owners had been overly concerned at first, their confidence in Darwin wavering substantially. A few of the sponsors had even threatened to pull their advertisements, citing Darwin’s behavior as grounds to revoke all their contracts. Idle threats to get their rates reduced, Ella mused. It had almost been catastrophic before she had swooped in to save the day and make things better. The significant increase in the show’s Nielsen numbers hadn’t hurt, either, the Cooking with Darwin Tolliver show rising to number one in its time slot and holding strong.

  Go figure, she thought, rolling her eyes and her moving head from side to side. Ava had tried to warn her about playing Darwin Tolliver, but the man had been convenient. Ella didn’t have anything against Darwin. In fact, for the most part she had liked the man as much as she liked any man. Although he would not have been her first choice for hosting the new show, the powers that be had loved everything about him. He was too pretty for her tastes, though, and he reminded Ella of the many pretty men who’d used and abused her over the years. Men who’d made her feel insecure or unwanted, who’d misjudged her loving demeanor as weakness, thinking she was a doormat they could all walk over.

  It had always been the pretty men with their chiseled good looks, bedroom eyes, athletic bodies and butter-toned voices that had fawned over Ava, giving her anything and everything her heart desired. They were the same men who had barely given Ella the time of day. Darwin could have been the poster child for all the pretty men in the world, Ella thought, and for that reason alone, it had been easy to play havoc with his life.

  Ultimately, management was happy once again and they had more confidence in what Ella could and couldn’t do. As long as she could keep the show at the top, a promotion was surely in line for her. Ella mused that she’d done a fair enough job of placating Darwin’s bruised ego so that he shouldn’t be any more of a problem. She also hoped by Monday morning he’d be back to his normal self, the incident barely occupying his thoughts.

  She was starting to feel the effects of the wine on her empty stomach. Her nerves were still shaky, anxiety playing pattycake with her spirit. It was an ice cream moment, she thought, rising from her seat to go peer into the freezer. A pint container of Ben & Jerry’s Chunky Monkey ice cream was waving for her attention. Grabbing the container and a spoon from the drawer, Ella moved back to the couch, sinking her utensil into the banana-flavored confection as she dug around for a few chocolate chunks and some walnuts. The ice cream melted against her tongue and half a pint later, the empty sensation in the pit of her stomach began to feel satiated.

  She really should have avoided the ice cream, she thought as she savored the last few spoonfuls. Just that morning she’d been upset that she couldn’t zip her size eighteen slacks and here she was gorging herself on sweets. Ella heaved a deep sigh. She’d recognized years ago that she ate for comfort and right then she needed a lot of comfort.

  For just a brief second she thought about calling Ava. Then she thought better of it, imagining her sister’s Friday night was being spent being wined and dined by her man of the moment. Even if she were home, Ava would only give her a lecture about taking better care of herself and Ella didn’t need any lectures. In fact, she thought as she lifted herself from the sofa one more time, all she needed was that container of Cherry Garcia sitting next to a frozen TV dinner in her refrigerator. Just the sheer thought of another spoonful of ice cream seemed a better cure for everything that ailed her.

  Ava hid behind a pair of designer sunshades and a large floppy hat. No one but the large black man behind the counter knew who she was and no one else in the video store bothered to lift an eyebrow to gaze in her direction. The store’s owner had waved a hand in greeting when she’d entered, nodding a quick hello as he dealt with another customer. Ava was grateful for his silence, not wanting to be bothered with any attention.

  Searching the shelves, Ava picked up five DVDs, taking stock of the store’s weekend special: five movies for five days for five dollars. She was planning a quiet weekend, no company, no dates, her time all her own to do as she pleased. She had no intention of making up her face or even bothering to comb and brush her hair if she didn’t feel like it. The refrigerator was already filled with her favorite junk foods and she had no plans to even think about exercise or dieting. She needed this time to regroup and recharge her energy levels. People had been pulling at her attention for weeks and she’d had more than enough.

  The store was now empty and Wiley, the owner, leaned against the counter staring in her direction. He really was a nice-looking man, Ava thought, his round, umber-toned complexion projecting large black eyes, a broad nose and full lips. Wiley smiled and Ava couldn’t help but smile back.

  “So, how are you doing, Wiley?” Ava asked politely, moving to the counter with her selections.

  “Just fine. How about yourself?” he responded as he entered her account number into his computer system.

  Ava shrugged her narrow shoulders as she wrapped her arms around her torso, pulling her oversize sweater over her chest. “I can’t complain.”

  “No one bothers to listen when you do,” Wiley said, smiling broadly.

  “Isn’t that the truth,” Ava answered.

  Wiley looked from Ava to the computer screen and back to Ava. “Miss Ava, you have a late fee on your account from last month. Two movies came back three days late.”

  Ava nodded. “Sorry about that. I’ll pay the fee now.”

  The man nodded as he tallied up her bill. “Your total is twelve dollars and thirty-six cents.”

  Ava passed him a credit card, her hand quivering ever so slightly as he brushed his thick fingers against hers. Wiley smiled again.

  He pointed to the DVD on top of the pile. “This was an excellent movie. You’re going to love it,” he said, sliding the pile from the counter into a plastic bag. “It’s some of Denzel’s best work, I think.” He passed the bag to Ava, then slid the credit card receipt forward for her signature. He watched as she scribbled her name across the tab and passed it back to him.

  “Thanks, Wiley,” Ava said, not bothering to move from where she stood. She slid the sunshades off her face, allowing her eyes to meet his. He met her gaze and held it. She motioned as if to speak, then thinking better of it, pulled the shades back on and said nothing.

  “Is everything okay, Miss Ava?”

  “Don’t call me that. You and I have known each other too long for you to be calling me Miss. And it makes me feel old. I’ve told you before, please, just call me Ava.”

  The man chuckled softly as he nodded his head. “Ava. That’s a very pretty name.”

  “Thank you.”

  “So, is everything okay, Ava?”

  She shrugged again. “I was just thinking that you seem to spend all of your time here in the store.”

  “I’m a man trying to build an empire. I do what I have to do.”

  “What about you
r girlfriend? I imagine she would want you home over the weekends, right?”

  Wiley leaned on his elbows, resting his chin against the back of his hand. “We’re not together anymore. It didn’t work out. She said I work too much. Go figure,” he said with a low chuckle. “Seems I’m all alone again.” He gave her a broad grin as he continued staring into her eyes.

  Ava was suddenly at a loss for words and she clutched her bag closer to her chest. “Well…I…” she stammered. “I guess…I should be going.”

  “Enjoy your movies.”

  She nodded. “Thanks. See you next week.”

  “I look forward to it,” Wiley said, giving her a quick wink. “You have a good weekend, Ava.”

  Moving toward the door, Ava waved goodbye, then disappeared out into the cool evening air. As she eased her car out of the shopping center’s parking lot, she couldn’t believe her nerves had her shaking like a leaf on a tree. She hadn’t ever met a man who could move her to stutter and giggle so foolishly, so she was unnerved by her reaction to that man.

  Ava had been a patron of that video store for over ten years, since she first settled in Seattle, moving to be near Ella. The previous owners hadn’t been overly friendly, and Ava hadn’t been inclined to befriend them or any of the young high school students who had manned the cash register.

  Five years ago, Ava had come in one day for her usual monthly selections and Wiley had been behind the counter. He was a gregarious man with a large frame but it was clear that he wasn’t overly athletic. He only stood an inch or so taller than Ava’s five feet four inches and in her four-inch stilettos she towered easily above him.