Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2)

by Lunsford, Leigh Ann

  “Dating?” She gives me the cutest smirk.

  “Sure, you want to tell my brother and my dad?”

  “Not really.”

  “So quit labeling it. If you want to see other people, go for it. But, when we start sleeping together, that part is exclusive.”

  “When?”

  “Yes, and I’m not waiting forever. You don’t need to worry about my virtue.” I used to consider myself a good guy. Now, I’m not so sure. I’m actually considering this.

  “Okay.” Who am I kidding? I’m more than considering it. I’ve just jumped in, eyes wide open, on a collision course to hell. I can’t help but smile when I picture all the twists and turns, many roadblocks, and freedom we will face along the way.

  “Can we continue what we were doing before you rudely halted it?”

  “You’re going to tempt me beyond all reason,” I cut her response off, claiming her lips once again.

  Time changes everything except something within us which is always surprised by change.

  ~Thomas Hardy

  Chapter 5

  Bianca

  I had been kissed before Dakota…he wasn’t the first, by any means. But he was certainly the most memorable. The sure fire way he set me off, I felt enflamed by his mouth alone. After the clusterfuck of a day with Callie and Bronson, I was feeling a bit bereft. I knew the day would come that those two would unite, and I’m thrilled for them, but I’m curious how it will play out, where I will fit in. Callie has been my best friend for eleven years, Bronson is not only my big brother, but he’s been my protector, our protector, for as long as I can remember, and I’ve never doubted my place in his life until today. Ordinarily, I wouldn’t have had the chance to be alone, after dark with any boy, Dakota included, but that didn’t hold true any longer.

  I finally may get the freedom I crave, but I can’t help feeling a little lost in these new circumstances. Callie is upset and elated at the same time; any hope of a relationship with her dad was pretty much crushed, yet at the same time she got the boy who has held her heart for the last decade. She announced at six she was going to marry him, he reacted by rescuing her from the bathroom when she locked herself in there, pronounced to her that she would be the most beautiful bride, and couldn’t wait to see her at the end of the aisle. That sealed their fate. I may be a bitch for wondering what my role or place will be in their changing world, but I can’t control my thoughts.

  She would do anything for my brother, and I couldn’t be happier for them, but I still don’t get it. How do you know that you want to spend your life with just one person? And at such a young age? I like Dakota, am attracted to him, but I just don’t believe in love. I’ve seen my parents happily married for over twenty years, but I see the sacrifices they make for one another, the concessions for the other person, and I’m too selfish for that. Truth is, it terrifies me. I can’t fathom how one person can be so dependent on another for their happiness, their security. I’ve lived my entire life being sheltered, watched over, and protected. I don’t want security, I don’t want forever; I want in the moment, I want recklessness; I want to make mistakes and learn from them. Instead of the lessons being told to me, I want to experience them.

  Callie begins stirring next to me. Her eyes open, her smile follows, and I see the contentment in her face. Her demeanor screams peace. She deserves it.

  “Good morning, Princess.” I throw my pillow at her. “Surprised the big bad wolf didn’t keep you in his den all night.”

  She giggles, and I feel it in my heart. I love her, and seeing her happy eases most of my doubts. “Please tell me I didn’t dream yesterday.”

  “It was real. You’re claimed, and now we’ll be sisters.”

  “Weren’t we already?”

  “Yes, but now it will be official. How are you with everything?”

  “Overwhelmed. Please don’t tell your brother, I don’t want him to worry, or think I’m questioning our relationship. I just feel like so much happened in a short amount of time.”

  “It did. And Callie, I’m still your best friend. You can tell me anything.”

  “I know. I’m scared.”

  “Of what?”

  “Our dynamic changing. We’ve been us for as long as I can remember. Bronson’s had his place, but now things are going to change.”

  “Not all change is bad.”

  “You aren’t worried?”

  “Nope,” I lie. I won’t take this from her or cause her any more concern. “We will always be us, best friends. Sisters. We will have our secrets, our friend time, but you need to embrace this. You’ve waited your entire life for him, and your dreams are coming true.”

  Tears shimmer in her eyes. “I know. And to think it was all catapulted by my father. I guess I can’t say he never gave me anything.”

  “Don’t joke about that Callie. It’s okay to be hurt and upset about that. He is your dad.”

  “I guess.”

  “What?”

  “Your brother has strong opinions on the subject. He thinks I shouldn’t waste any emotion, unless it’s pure hatred, on my dad, but I’m not wired like that. He’s vile, he’s a dick, he’s mean . . .”

  “But he’s still your dad. I don’t get it, but I get you. Your heart is too big for your own good. Don’t hide your feelings from him; don’t make the mistake of starting your relationship with a lie. Either agree to disagree, not discuss it, or talk to me. Don’t discount your feelings. I’ll always listen.”

  “I love you, Binks. What’s up with you?” She is studying my face, trying to get a read on my emotions. I gave her that speech about fathers, and I need to take my own advice. Make peace with what he is and accept the love he’s always given me.

  “Love you, Princess.” She rolls her eyes at me. “So Dakota and I . . . we are going to try something.” I waggle my eyebrows at her.

  “Dating?”

  “God, no.” I scrunch my nose in disgust.

  “What’s with you and labels?”

  “I hate them. Unless they are Coach, Gucci, Chanel.”

  “Snob.”

  “You know it.” I throw my nose in the air, and my brother knocking and entering interrupts our giggles.

  “Hey, how’s my girl?” He moves to Callie's side, and the way he watches her, studies her, makes me long for something. I’m not sure what.

  “That’s my cue to leave. Don’t have sex in my bedroom.”

  “Fuck, Bianca.”

  “Don’t fuck, Bronson.” Callie is blushing but still laughing at this game I play with him. It frustrates him that I can be so crass, unfiltered, but that’s how I know he cares.

  “Get out.”

  “Um, you do know whose room you’re in?” I smile at him sweetly.

  “Bianca, I swear you were dropped on your head at birth.”

  “From startling the doctor with my beauty. He was thrown for a loop.”

  “You know you were delivered by a woman?” my mom says from the doorway.

  “Whatever. Beauty is beauty. “

  “I’m going to start breakfast. I expect all of you down in ten minutes.” We all salute her, and she shakes her head, ignoring us

  “Can we get a few minutes?” Bronson asks me.

  “Earlier rules still apply.” I need to leave before tonsil hockey starts. He’s still my brother, and that’s just nasty.

  “You can be such a pain in the ass.”

  “Ce un cibirut.” I watch the vein in his neck pulse, and I laugh. I’ve just told him he has a small penis. “Callie, want me to translate?”

  “OUT!” I flip him off as I leave the room. I hear Callie asking what I said, and I have to grab hold of the banister to keep myself upright as I double over with laughter. He’s stumbling for words.

  “I SAID HE HAS A SMALL PENIS!”

  “Bianca.” Poor Callie. She’s been a permanent fixture in my life; her loyalties will be tested. She wants to laugh at me, but instead she scolds me because she doesn’t want
to embarrass Bronson.

  “True story. I have pictures from when mom put us in the bathtub together. I just wanted to warn my best friend what she is getting into . . . or what wouldn’t be getting into her.”

  He slams the door in my face, and I look up to my mom’s face, trying to hide her smile. “Why do you torture him?”

  “He makes it easy.”

  She nods in response.

  “Are you okay with that?” She points to my bedroom.

  “Of course.”

  “Then what’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing. This is the day we’ve been waiting for.”

  “You avoid your father, you’re never home, you don’t talk to me.”

  “I’m a teenager. It’s normal.”

  “Not for you.”

  I roll my eyes and try to walk around her. She grabs me in a hug. “Figlia, we love you. Whatever is in your head, I’m here. No judgments.”

  “That’s good. You can’t judge my actions when you’re married to a murderer.” I can’t believe I just blurted that out, and by the look on my mom’s face, I gutted her. I hear a throat clearing and turn to see my father staring at me, his eyes hold moisture, and he looks crestfallen. “I’m so sorry.” I look between them both. I’m trying not to cry, I don’t deserve the release of pain after saying that . . . to both of them.

  “Bianca,” my mom starts.

  “Gianna, let it go for now.” He walks past me like I don’t exist.

  “Papa,” I plead for him.

  “Gia, come. Breakfast needs to be ready in a few minutes.” His eyes meet mine. “I love you, Bianca Rose. Don’t doubt that. We’ll talk later.”

  My mom looks at me with disappointment in her eyes, not a look I’m used to, following my father. I hear my door open and immediately hide the emotions I’m feeling. I drop the invisible cloak over my heart and turn towards Bronson.

  “What’s going on? Did I hear Mom and Dad?”

  “Yes, they were just getting on me for torturing you. You’re such a mama’s boy.” I head back in my room. “I’m going to jump in the shower. I’ll catch you later.”

  “You’re not eating?” Callie looks at me. I see her shock when she realizes that I’m on the verge of tears. I don’t cry.

  “Not hungry.” I shut and lock my door before she can push me further and stay back to find out what’s wrong.

  My phone dings. Does that boy have a sixth sense?

  Dakota: Sleep well?

  Me: Like a baby.

  Dakota: See you later?

  Me: Not today. Don’t feel well.

  Dakota: Need anything?

  Me: You’re not my boyfriend. I don’t need you to take care of me.

  Dakota: But, I am your friend. Get some rest, cranky.

  I throw my phone down in frustration. What the fuck is wrong with me? I crawl back in bed and cover my face with the covers. I allow the tears to come; I’m hidden from anyone seeing this weakness. Weakness in this family is frowned upon. As confused as I am, I don’t want to hurt my dad . . . or my mom. They’ve given us everything any child could ever wish for, and I repay them with the equivalent of spitting in their faces.

  The knock at my door pulls my attention from my self-pity. I open it to find my father. “Dolce cuore, come eat with your family.”

  “I’m sorry, Papa.” The tears come back, streaming down my face. I don’t bother hiding them. I want him to see that causing him pain distresses me.

  “No, Figlia, I’m the one who’s sorry. Your tears hurt me worse than your words.” I immediately wipe my face and sniffle, trying to control the raw emotions tearing through me. “Come eat, we’ll talk later. A lot has happened around here, and I need my family with me today.”

  “I love you.” The words are so true, but yet I feel like they are a lie.

  “Bianca, you’re my heart. My baby girl. Nothing will change that. La mia bambina.” He pulls me in for a hug, his grip tighter than it has been in years, like he doesn’t want to let me go. Doesn’t want to let anything between us. I hate that I’ve let my opinions, my doubts, my frustrations worm their way into our relationship. He may call me his baby girl, and I wish I were. I grew up, but when I was truly his little girl, I was clueless as to what happened in this life, and I adored him. He finally releases me and looks down, placing a kiss on my head before walking down the steps, allowing me to follow him.

  Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.

  ~Khalil Gibran

  Chapter 6

  Dakota

  Bianca’s attitude has plummeted since Callie and Bronson have been together. She swears to me it isn’t that, but won’t tell me what’s wrong with her. Her games continue, hot and cold, teasing and relenting. Right now, the way she is eating her ice cream off a spoon is enough to drive me mad. I try to adjust myself discreetly on the couch; Bronson is within swinging distance. I know the moment she realizes the situation she’s creating; her lips wrap around the spoon, her eyes close in ecstasy, and her tongue darts out flicking over her lips . . . making sure to capture every last drop of that fucking Neapolitan ice cream. I. Hate. Her.

  Yet, I desire her.

  I clear my throat, drawing her eyes to mine, silently warning her. Narrowing my eyes and shaking my head, she giggles. Fucking giggles. I’m in agony over here. Our senior year is wrapping up, and Bronson still hasn’t made his decision on where he is going for school.

  “You up for a work out?” Bronson draws my mind from his sister. I hate lying and sneaking to see each other, but until she gives me a clear sign about what she wants, I won’t risk his friendship.

  “Sure. I’m going to head home and take care of a few things. We still leaving in the morning?”

  “Yep, the boat is gassed and ready to go. My girl’s birthday and she wants to spend it on the water.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you in an hour.”

  He just nods at me and goes back to talking to Callie. I don’t see Bianca; she must have left while I was talking to him. I barely make it to the hallway when I’m pushed against the wall.

  “Leaving so soon?” She purrs, as her hands snake up my chest and around my neck.

  “What the hell, Bianca. Are you trying to unman me? No. More. Ice. Cream.”

  “What about tomorrow night? I’ll let you lick it off me.” I swallow hard, my mouth full of saliva.

  “Tomorrow night?” My voice raises a few octaves. I sound like a pre-pubescent kid.

  “Yep, it’s Bronson’s night in our custody arrangement with Callie. I get her tonight. So since I’ll be all by my lonesome, I took the liberty of booking a suite at The Hyatt in Clearwater. My parents have a business dinner, and I told them I was spending the night with a friend.”

  “You have this all worked out?” I’m not sure this is the smartest decision.

  “I have a few ideas.” She winks at me and retreats back to the room. Temptress.

  “This is going to change everything.” My words stop her. I see the conflicting emotions across her face.

  “It doesn’t have to.”

  “You’ll be mine. I’m not planning on spending all night holding you.”

  “You can claim me all you want. We already agreed when we started this that when we started having sex, it would be exclusive. Don’t get all romantic on me.”

  I lean down to her ear, “Oh, there will be no romance. After I touch every inch of your body, make you come on my fingers, I’ll replace those fingers with my tongue until you’re begging for mercy. When you think you can’t take anymore I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll be reminded for weeks to come. Once the soreness eases up, I’ll fuck you harder. “ I see her eyes glaze over, and her eyelids start to flutter shut.

  “Fuck,” she whimpers.

  “Exactly.”

  “I’ll text you the room number. I’ll see you in the morning.” She glances over her shoulder, rises on her tiptoes, and kisses the bottom of my chin.

  “Get
plenty of rest tonight Bianca. I can guarantee you won’t get any tomorrow.” I see her swallow as she nods.

  Bronson and I are sparring. In between throwing jabs, he asks, “Who are you taking to prom?”

  Shit. “Not sure yet.” I would go with Bianca but that’s off limits. “I may not go.”

  He begins taking off his gear so I follow suit. I guess we’re done. “You’d miss your senior prom?”

  I shrug. “I haven’t given it much thought. I don’t have my own Callie.”

  He punches me.

  Right in the fucking eye. I see stars.

  “Or you could quit acting like my sister is a dirty fucking secret, grow some balls, and talk to me. Better yet, take her to prom. Act like she means something to you.”

  I shake my head, trying to regain my vision. “I had that coming. But you have it all wrong.”

  He snickers, “Please enlighten me. Tell me I’m wrong, and you haven’t been going behind my back for months.”

  “We have been keeping it quiet. It’s her choice; she has some hang-ups with labeling us. If that punch was for not talking to you, being honest with you, I’ll take it. But if it’s because you’re under the assumption she doesn’t mean something to me, you’ll have a fight on your hands. God help me, that girl means everything to me.” I’m stunned by my own words. She’s opened up to me, not completely, and her games are still in full force, but she’s slowly letting me in. I don’t want to be a ‘fuck buddy,’ or ‘friend-zoned.’ I want to be a couple . . . two halves of one whole.

  “Then make her want it.”

  “You’ve met your sister…right? Tiny, brown hair. Gold eyes that can make you feel like you’re king of the world or scum on the bottom of her shoe, depending on which look she gives you? A mouth a sailor would be ashamed of?”

  He laughs. “You have your work cut out for you. I can’t say I like it, but if any guy was going to be sniffing around her, I’m glad it’s you.”

  “Thanks.” I wipe a fake tear from my eye. “Hug it out?”

  “Fuck off.” We pick up our gear, and he lets out a long sigh while staring at me. “She’s going to kill me.”