by M. J. Haag
It also fed my dreams in the best way possible.
Glimpses of Adam, whole and healthy, teased me endlessly. First, I dreamt of a romantic dinner that ended with his lips kissing a path along my neck. Then, a post-game celebration where he traced his way up my spine, his warm fingers sending shivers of need through me. Followed by a party at a friend’s house that faded as Adam ground against me with my jean-clad legs around his waist.
By the time I dreamed we were in the back of his truck under the stars, I ached with need for him.
His weight settled between my legs, and his fingers hooked the sides of the lacey underwear that left little to the imagination. He leaned in and brushed his nose against my mound as he gently worked the material down.
“I need to taste you, June. Let me taste you.”
I willingly lifted my hips, letting him remove the barrier that was keeping him from what he wanted. What we both wanted.
His gaze held mine as he gently nudged my legs wider.
“Beautiful.” The heat of his exhale sent a shiver through me, and my core clenched.
The first drag of a tongue parted my folds. A small sound escaped me, and he grinned. He loved when he did things that evoked noises from me. I’d give him all the noises he wanted if he just kept going. My clit throbbed with need.
I spread my knees wider, begging for more.
The flat stroke of a tongue, from entrance to clit, tugged at my consciousness.
Dream and reality overlapped for a confusing moment. My pulse sped as the tongue continued to stroke close to my sensitive nub, but never going where I needed it.
Warm and comfortable, I stayed in that place between sleep and awake, aware that Adam was trying to wake me up in my favorite way. His tongue danced around and around my clit, teasing me. Waiting for me to acknowledge I was awake enough to enjoy this treat.
With a sleeping smile, I drew my knees up and set them over his shoulders, giving him the access he wanted. His lips immediately closed over my clit, and he began his gentle suckling, occasionally flicking his tongue over the nub.
My breathing became ragged. I moaned and reached down to grab his head. Sometimes, I pushed him away when it became too much. Other times, I ground myself against his mouth until he shoved me over the edge. Today, he stole the choice from me by pinning my hands beneath his on my thighs.
He spread me wider, flicking faster than he’d ever managed before.
The orgasm came so hard and fast that I almost forgot to muffle the sound that wanted to rip from my throat. I arched, my channel squeezing hard around nothing in pulsing wave after wave. The suction from his mouth gentled but stayed with me as I rode out the best orgasm of my life until, depleted, I collapsed onto the bed.
He didn’t try to touch my clit again but tongued me thoroughly. At first, I thought he was making me wetter and I smiled, too glad to have the old Adam back to complain. Then, I realized he wasn’t leaving moisture behind. He was lapping up what he’d created.
I made a satisfied humming sound, and he lifted his head.
“Did I wake you up right, June?”
My eyes popped open at the sound of Tor’s husky voice, and I jerked my head off the pillow to make sure my ears weren’t lying.
Nope.
Tor lay between my legs, his lips glistening and his pupils dilated as he looked from my face to between my legs.
“You made the happy, squeaky noises,” Tor said, tearing his gaze from my center and up to my face once more. “That means you liked it, right?”
My pulse, which had started to calm, began to race again with my panic. What had I done? I’d cheated on Adam. Shit. Had he heard us? Heard me? He knew exactly what I sounded like when I came.
I made a pained face and closed my eyes, struggling not to cry.
Tor immediately released me.
“Did I hurt you? Did I do it wrong? Was my tongue too rough? Adam said it would be okay if I licked inside you. Ghua says that’s where the best taste is. He was right. But I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Adam said it would be okay…
Those words rang like an angry gong in my head, killing my guilt and panic.
The happy, squeaking noises? That’s what Adam called the noise I made. The way Tor had endlessly circled my clit before teasing it with his tongue? Adam had obviously told Tor about that, too. Why? Why would Adam send Tor to do this?
The panic in Tor’s voice was the only thing that kept me from flying out of the bed and running downstairs.
Carefully concealing my rage, I sat up and clasped Tor’s strong hands.
“You didn’t hurt me. I promise.”
He freed a hand to gently wipe away the moisture at the corner of my eye.
“You cried.”
“Because you are very good at waking me up.”
The panic didn’t fade from his expression. Not completely.
A part of my brain whispered that this all might be a huge misunderstanding. Adam had told Tor things yesterday. Things that had made the dear fey blush. Maybe Tor had assumed he had permission because of that discussion.
“Tor, when did Adam tell you how to wake me up?”
“Last night while you were sleeping. He tried walking again and got angry. Talking about you made him less angry but really sad. He said waking you up would make you happy, and you deserved happiness.”
I could see in Tor’s expression that he was starting to realize Adam had lied to him somehow. After all the ways the other humans had mistreated the fey, I didn’t want this to add to it.
“Tor,” I said firmly. “You made me very happy. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. Sometimes powerful orgasms can bring a woman to tears. I swear you didn’t hurt me. I liked everything you did.” Just not what my asshole boyfriend did, I added mentally.
Tor’s gaze flicked down again.
“Does that mean I can wake you up tomorrow?”
“We’ll see, okay?” I eased my legs off his bare back, trying not to show how embarrassed his intense focus was making me.
He grunted and reluctantly released me. I drew my legs together and reached for my very plain and borrowed underwear.
“Would you mind doing me a favor? Adam and I need to have a private conversation that I’d rather no one overhear. Could you leave the house for a few minutes?”
“Of course. I will make sure none of my brothers are nearby. Don’t take too long, though,” he said, glancing at the window. “We need to leave soon.”
“Okay. Thanks, Tor.”
He grunted and walked from the room. I stared at his impressively muscled back, and my core clenched again. The man was built like a beast but had the spirit of a lamb. Which only made what Adam had done even worse.
Angry and hurt beyond words, I quickly dressed.
Tor was already gone when I descended and marched into Adam’s room. There he lay, the man who’d loved me for years and had been at my side for months when the world went to hell, arms behind his head as he stared up at the ceiling. While he was trying to look all calm and collected, I knew him well enough to see his tension.
He knew why I was here and knew I was angry. Rather than attack, I played it cool.
“Did you send Tor to wake me up?” I asked calmly.
“Yeah. We talked about that last night.”
“Right, but I don’t remember the part where you told him how he should eat me out so I’d make the happy, squeaky sounds.”
I waited, riding out his long silence until he sighed.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Start with an explanation for why you betrayed the trust of two people who care about you.”
“Isn’t it obvious? You need him, June. Sleeping with him will give you immunity.”
I had to look away for a minute. If Adam wasn’t already so hurt, I would have hit him myself.
“Can you even hear yourself?” I asked, letting my hurt show. “Are you honestly going to lie there and t
ell me you’re okay with another man touching me? Because I sure as hell am not. And Tor? He freaked out when I started crying. Crying because I hadn’t realized it wasn’t my boyfriend between my legs until the deed was done. Crying because, for one horrible minute, I thought I’d accidentally cheated on you. Instead you pimped me out like some unwanted piece of garbage.”
Adam closed his eyes and swallowed hard, saying nothing.
“You’re lucky Tor has no idea what you did. That you used him. That you used us both. And why? Because you’re suffering from some form of inadequacy? I don’t give a fuck about some rumor regarding immunity, Adam. I care that my boyfriend hurt me in a way I’m not sure I can forgive.”
I waited. When he spoke, his voice was rough.
“We don’t live in the same world we did when we started dating. There aren’t any white picket fences anymore. There are no happily-ever-afters.” He opened his eyes and looked right at me. “If having him eat you out brings a smile to your face every morning and brings immunity, then let the man go to town. Turns out, eating out a girl is his lifelong dream. Who am I to deny you two a moment of happiness?”
His complete indifference to the gravity of what he’d done was too much. My hand lashed out, uncaring that he still carried lingering colors on his jaw. He deserved to feel the sting of my hand.
He caught my hand in his own, though.
“Who knows how many moments we have left, June? Don’t waste them on anger.”
“You should listen to your own advice, Adam. Get your head on straight while I’m gone. The world is a different place. I don’t need a man who can make me immune from infection. I need one I can trust.”
He exhaled heavily and released me.
“I’m sorry, June.”
I shook my head, still too angry.
“We’ll talk more when I’m back. Maybe I’ll be in a calmer state of mind to accept your apology then.”
I stalked out of the room without a backward glance and geared up by the front door. It wasn’t the same, strapping on the knife holster without Adam there to help me. But, after the way I’d woken up, nothing had felt the same. Adam’s pain was feeding his desperation to keep me safe. That was the only explanation I could come up with to explain his betrayal. Let Tor touch me and ensure his protection of me.
Heart heavy, I opened the door and spotted Tor and Brog speaking quietly across the street. Tor immediately looked up as I closed the door behind me.
“Are you done talking to Adam?”
“I am. Thank you for giving us some privacy.”
“Of course.” He flashed his teeth at me as I crossed the road, and I did my best to set aside what had happened between us. For both our sakes, I needed to stay focused on the task at hand.
I glanced at Brog. “Thanks for staying with Adam. He might be in a bit of a crabby mood. Please don’t let anything he says upset you. He’s not himself and is saying a lot of things he doesn’t mean.”
Brog grunted and started across the road.
“He will keep Adam safe,” Tor said.
“I know he will. I’m more worried about Adam acting like a jackass and offending Brog.”
“They will both be fine, June.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” I said, walking with him. As the silence stretched between us, I watched the lights on the wall flick off one by one and the sky begin to lighten. Tor’s repeated glances and slowing steps warned me that he was about to say something I might regret.
“I think Adam is right.”
“Oh? About what?”
“It’s not safe for you to go on a supply run.”
I stopped walking and faced Tor.
“I’m angry with Adam for trying to control my life based on what he thinks is right for me. I was born with a brain, Tor. I’m allowed to use it to think and decide things for myself. If you’re going to start acting domineering like Adam, we’re going to have a problem.”
“I promised him that I would keep you safe.”
“And you will, but not by keeping me locked up in a gilded cage. You’ll keep me safe by sticking close to me and advising me. With or without you, I’m leaving and returning with more medicine.”
He studied me for a long moment and nodded.
We didn’t speak again until we reached Tenacity.
“Will you ride in the truck with Richard?” he asked. “It will be more comfortable than in the back.”
“Sure.”
Richard, as it turned out, was the “Dad” of Tolerance, and very kind. He kept me distracted with the history of the two settlements and the animosity that had grown between them. Considering that his first grandchild would be part fey, it was easy to see that he fully supported the efforts to integrate the two towns peacefully.
“Not sure how that will ever happen,” I commented.
“I heard what they did to Adam and what you said to Matt. He knows you’re right, by the way. Mya’s been telling him the same things for ages. Until he removes the people who hate without cause, there will never be peace.
“The haters are clever about spreading their hate, though. And it doesn’t help that there are women involved. The fey would have no problem kicking out men and letting them fend for themselves against the infected. A hateful woman? The fey would rather she spit in their eye every night just to keep her safe.”
“That’s messed up.”
“Yes and no. They realize women are the key to their futures.”
The topic rang too close to what Adam had said before I’d left.
“Is it true? That sleeping with one of them brings immunity?”
“Without a bunch of testing, there’s no way to know that for sure, but it sure looks that way. It’s a good thing, too.”
“How so?”
“It gives us humans another reason to look at the fey more closely. How can they be bad when they hold all the keys to our continued survival? Immunity. The ability to kill the hellhounds. And patience. I’ve never seen people more patient than the fey. We’re afraid and make all kinds of mistakes, but they rarely get angry.”
“That only makes them easier targets for the people who want to use them.”
“It does. But that’s why they have people like us. We’ll stand up for them when they won’t stand up for themselves.”
The trucks rolled to a stop on an overpass. Buildings stretched in the distance. While I knew this was a supply run for most, I also knew from the ride with Richard that Ryan and I had different objectives. They’d purposely chosen to stop this close to a city to find more medical supplies for Uan.
“This is a lot closer to a city than I’d like to be,” he said, staring at the buildings with me. “You be careful out there.”
“I will be. Tor will make sure of it.”
My door opened, and the fey in question looked up at me.
“Are you ready, June?” he asked.
“Yep. Let’s get in there and find what we need.”
He lifted me down from the cab and gestured to the fey around us.
“Tell us what we’re looking for.”
“No playgrounds this time. We’re looking for houses that might have had someone with medical needs. Like a ramp going up to a front door.”
They grunted in understanding.
“May I carry you?” Tor asked.
I nodded, trying not to flush. He’d been tongue deep between my legs a few hours ago, yet somehow managed to act business as usual. I wasn’t sure if I admired his casual attitude or worried that his life goal hadn’t measured up to his standards.
As soon as I was in his arms, he ran with me, the other fey falling in around us. The leap from the bridge ripped a squeak from me. Tor dipped his head to mine and brushed his nose against my temple, saying nothing. He didn’t need to. The gesture was reassuring in itself.
We ran in silence for several moments before I heard the first moan. Tor veered toward the nearest house and jumped to the roof while the others did the same
on different houses. We watched from our rooftop positions as a herd of infected moved fluidly between the buildings a block away.
Tor’s hold on me tightened fractionally, letting me know he didn’t like what he was seeing, either.
The infected slowed and their calls stopped. The sound of my own breathing seemed too loud in the silence. One of the fey across the street looked at us and pointed straight down. I thought he was telling us to leave the roof until Tor quietly lay back against the outcropping of the dormer’s wall. He kept me close to his side, holding me in place, face to face. His finger pressed against my lips, and I nodded.
While I wanted to believe the infected wouldn’t get to me, that Tor and the other fey would keep me safe, I knew there was always a chance something could go wrong. My pulse began to race. Tor’s finger moved from my mouth and traced from my temple to my jaw, like he was trying to comfort me. I gave him a weak smile, which widened when he flashed his teeth at me.
The suddenness of an infected call so close to us made me jump. Tor shook his head slightly and continued to stroke my cheek. I focused on his eyes and tried to breathe quietly. We stayed like that for several long minutes before he flashed his teeth again and picked me up.
I watched one of the fey jump lightly from roof to roof, following the infected. The rest leapt to the ground and started walking again.
Chapter Ten
We managed to find several houses with ramps and a house with an “oxygen in use” warning sign taped to the door. I didn’t think Uan needed oxygen, but the tanks were too useful to pass up. Tor made me wait outside with him and the rest of the group while two fey went inside to collect everything. He said it smelled too bad to let me in.
Between all of our stops, we had morphine, which I figured Cassie might use on Uan; several prescription painkillers, which Adam could use; and two shotguns, which I could use if Adam’s apology wasn’t good enough.
“We should head back,” I said softly.
Tor immediately picked me up and started jogging. We’d avoided two infected herds while scavenging and killed plenty more inside the houses. The fey were on edge.
