Reckoning

by Leigh, Jo

  God, she had to stop thinking about it or she’d be too self-conscious to do another thing.

  Besides, it was much more fun to enjoy the wonderful things he was doing to her mouth. She’d always loved kissing, but in theory, not in practice. With Nate, she was in the advanced course, and it was immediately clear that he had a lot to teach her.

  Take the way he nipped her lower lip. It hurt, but not in a bad way. Then there was his tongue which got hard and pointy, then soft, then hard again. He explored her carefully and gave her the courage to explore right back.

  The moment she ventured out with her own tongue, he sucked it into his mouth. It sent shivers down her body, and she could only deduce that if he was this good at kissing, he’d be freakin’ amazing at everything else.

  He pulled back, and she was about to complain, but then he kicked off the covers so she was able to see him all over. That chest. It was stunning. Just enough dark hair to make him manly, not carpeted. Her gaze moved down, and oh—

  He moved a hand to her shoulder to ease her down, but she batted it away. She’d seen penises before. But this was a whole new ball game. So to speak.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m impressed.”

  He looked down. “That old thing? I’ve had it for years.”

  She laughed, but she didn’t look away.

  “Come on, Tam. It’s not that big a deal.”

  “Yes, it is. It’s just so, well, hard.”

  He laughed this time. “Who the hell have you been with?”

  “Clearly the wrong men.”

  He didn’t just laugh this time. His head went back and he laughed so loud she was sure the people in the next room heard.

  “I’m not joking.”

  He sighed out loud as he pulled her in for another kiss. When he pulled back, he met her gaze with smiling eyes. “I know. I know, and you’re amazing, so look where you want, touch what you feel like and don’t mind me. I’ll love it all.”

  “Really?”

  He nodded.

  She grinned as she scooted down the bed. When she looked up at him again, the laughter had left his eyes. But he didn’t stop her.

  Chapter 4

  Nate wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. This wasn’t going according to any of his usual scripts. Most of the time, he took the lead. He was a big, tough soldier after all, and the ladies really seemed to like that. From time to time the lady in question would want to show him her colors, which was also fine by him. This experience was something completely different.

  Tam had crawled under the covers and moved things around so that the comforter draped him from the waist down. All he could see of her was an undulating lump moving toward his groin. Maybe he should have been a bit more specific about the whole touching thing.

  He had to fight the urge to throw back the covers, or at the very least move. She’d looked happy. Excited. More importantly, distracted.

  He knew this was a risky venture. One he probably should have nipped in the bud. There was no way he could justify his actions as purely selfless. But he wasn’t being a total bastard, either.

  Tam was right. If they’d found her once, they could find her again. The odds of survival shrunk daily, and even if they did make it, running from Omicron was as stressful as any wartime scenario. She didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t, either. Even if all the sex did was offer a distraction, that was enough. In fact, it was—“Shit.”

  She’d taken his cock in hand, and she hadn’t been a delicate flower about it. “Hey, take it easy down there.”

  He heard a muffled giggle, then she moved her hand up his shaft.

  His eyes closed at the sensation of someone else’s hand rubbing him. It had been a long time. Too long. More than that, it was Tamara’s hand, and he’d had too many dreams about this to be a hundred percent sure he wouldn’t wake up any second.

  Her soft palm moved down again, then all the way up to the incredibly sensitive glans. There was no choice but to move. It felt so amazingly good he was worried that things might end prematurely. “Tam?”

  She didn’t answer. She just kept rubbing. When her other hand cupped his balls, he nearly jumped off the bed. He threw back the covers and she looked at him with brown eyes filled with mischief. Not terror, not sadness. “Is something wrong?” she asked.

  “No. I just wanted to see you.”

  “Okay,” she said. “I was gonna come out in a second anyway.”

  “Curiosity sated?”

  “Not even close.” She let him go and slithered up the sheet until her head was on her pillow. “I’ve been looking in test tubes for too long. Humans seem so fascinating.”

  He shifted until he was on his side, head on his hand, his eyes about level with hers. “Humans, huh?”

  She nodded. “In particular, human male soldiers who have dark brown hair and green eyes, and have sneaky little clefts in their chins.”

  “Lucky me, I seem to fit the criteria.”

  She nodded again as she searched his face. “Do me a favor?”

  “Anything.”

  “If this is a pity screw, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

  “Pity? What are you, high?”

  “Good answer.”

  “Not a line.”

  “I know,” she said. “Now you need to give me another good answer.”

  “What’s the question?”

  “Do you have a condom?”

  “As a matter of fact, I do.”

  “I think it’s time to get it.”

  He leaned over and kissed her soft, plush lips, then turned over to fetch his jeans from the floor. In his back pocket there was a smaller pocket, and in that were two condoms. He left one because they couldn’t stay here indefinitely no matter how much he wanted to.

  When he turned back to Tam, she was nibbling on her lower lip, something he’d seen her do in the lab when faced with a problem. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  “You know we can stop this right here,” he said.

  “I don’t want to stop.”

  “But you’re worried.”

  “I just think too much.” She put her arms over her head and closed her eyes. “Make me stop. Please.”

  He couldn’t do anything but stare at her. When he’d first met her in Kosovo, he hadn’t thought that much about her. He hadn’t thought of her as a great beauty, although he’d found her attractive, and she hadn’t been a particularly memorable conversationalist. He’d been shocked when he found out she was a biochemist, and a brilliant one.

  As he’d come to know her over the last year, she’d become more and more beautiful to him, so much so that there were times he’d had to turn away. Maybe it was her mixed Asian-American heritage that made her loveliness so subtle, but he doubted it. Back in Kosovo, he just hadn’t been paying attention.

  There had been nights when the thought of her face alone had kept him going. When he looked at her now, so trusting, he wanted her so badly he trembled.

  “Nate?”

  Her eyes had opened and she looked at him expectantly. He still held the condom in his hand. “One sec.” He brought the small packet to his teeth and ripped it open. Oddly, he felt a little embarrassed putting it on. Maybe because he was so goddamned turned on he was afraid he’d blow it any second.

  He kept it together long enough to make it safe. Long enough to pull Tam into his arms and kiss her. It wasn’t going to be one of those record-breaking marathons. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to last until she came. So he needed to make sure she came first.

  He touched her face as he kissed her, moving in slow motion. His fingers trailed down her jaw, her neck, the tender skin above her breasts.

  He kissed her hard and touched her softly, then squeezed her breast as he brushed her lips with his. It was all sensation and heat and the noises she made at the back of her throat. His world became the way her nipple hardened against his palm, the feel of her ribs.


  He floated as he pressed his hand flat on her stomach, as he breathed in her soft gasp. Tiny fireworks went off behind his closed eyes and each sensation made him ache that he’d never again feel it for the first time.

  He moaned as she touched the nape of his neck, as her long, slim fingers skimmed his shoulder.

  When he slipped his own fingers down past her mound and onto her puffy lips, he drew back, wanting to watch her face as he dipped into her, as he found her clit.

  Her mouth opened, her eyelids fluttered and her pale cheeks turned pink. So responsive. She arched her back, her hips moved, her legs parted and the sound she’d held back came out—a low moan that made him want to slay dragons.

  He moved his finger faster now, needing her to come a lot more quickly than he should. She had to do it soon, or he would never make it. To miss being inside her was too much to ask. He just wasn’t that noble.

  Tam pointed her toes as the muscles in her legs tightened. It was the beginning of her climax, and she wasn’t sure how she’d gotten there. She was an expert in getting herself off. Living in an underground lab for a year would do that to a person, but this wasn’t anything like her solo sessions.

  It wasn’t just the kissing, but oh, God, the kissing was amazing. She’d thought about Nate’s lips a lot, wondering how they would feel, and if he had some magic moves that had made all his conquests fall at his feet. The answer turned out to be yes. And the moves didn’t stop with his lips.

  How was it possible he was better at this than any other man? He knew exactly how to use his fingers. How much pressure, how fast to move, when to ease up. It was wonderful. Just like she’d imagined only much better.

  She gripped his shoulder with one hand, the back of his hair with the other as she prepared to come, her eyes closed tightly, she arched as she slammed into gear.

  It was always like that for her—one second anticipation, the next, bam, she was gone. She always had to stop, move her hand away from any sensitive spots, and Nate did that, too. Only he didn’t flop on his back and breathe hard, like she was doing. He sat up and grabbed a pillow from the bed. His arm went under her thighs and he lifted her whole bottom half to shove the pillow beneath her butt.

  Her eyes had opened during that move, and widened as he settled between her legs. He looked so big staring down at her, and so damn sexy.

  Without warning, he thrust himself inside her so hard the whole bed moved. She cried out but not because it hurt or anything. God, no. It was the most amazing feeling in the world. He filled her, lifted her and she would swear that he made her come all over again.

  All she could do was go along for the ride. His expression was so intense his teeth had clamped tightly together. She grabbed onto his shoulders, and the muscles she felt made her look. Cords of tendons stood out, his biceps bulged. His nipples were hard and his chest heaved with every thrust. It was all so unreal, and he was so gorgeous, it didn’t even feel like her life.

  The only guys she’d ever been with had treated her carefully, as if she’d break or something, but not Nate. The gentleness he’d shown her in the tub and with his kisses had gone, leaving only the warrior.

  He grunted as he sat up, as he lifted her legs and put one on each shoulder. Then he leaned over her again, bending her almost in two.

  She grabbed on to the sheets as he thrust, as he turned her body into a quivering, trembling mess. It was unbelievable, totally outside anything she’d ever felt in her whole life.

  He plowed into her one more time, then froze as he came, his neck long and tight, his forehead beaded with sweat, his growl low and long and thrilling.

  Finally, he relaxed. He kissed her, but only for a second, then eased back, letting her legs fall to the bed. He pulled out the pillow, and then he fell heavily on his back next to her.

  For long minutes, all they did was breathe hard. She gradually became aware of his hip touching hers, of her foot against his calf.

  He took her hand in his and squeezed it. “You okay?”

  “Oh, yes.”

  “I didn’t hurt you?”

  “No. Not even a little.”

  He sighed. “Good.”

  She turned to look at him. His chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes were closed and his hair was wet with sweat. He was the best looking man she’d ever seen.

  She had no idea what time it was, or how long they’d been awake. All she knew was that from the moment he’d touched her cheek, she’d forgotten all about last night. The rest of the world and all the horrors it held had disappeared. He’d taken her places she’d never been, and for that, she’d be grateful forever.

  She knew it was just sex. She also knew that sometimes just sex was just perfect. “Thank you,” she whispered.

  He looked at her. “To say it was my pleasure is an incredible understatement.”

  She grinned and felt stupidly proud. “Cool.”

  He chuckled and squeezed her hand again.

  * * * * * *

  Nate took a military shower—get wet, lather up, rinse off, do it again, done in five minutes. He did it alone. Not because he didn’t want to shower with Tam. He did. But they had to get out of here, and be quick about it.

  As soon as he’d come out of his sex-induced coma, he’d called Seth, who’d given him a choice piece of his mind for worrying them all so much. The whole team had assembled in that crappy, out-of-the-way motel. Nate told him he and Tam would be there in about six hours. Time to get dressed, leave L.A., get something to eat. Then drive the damn speed limit all the way past Vegas.

  He missed speeding. He used to do it all the time, before getting pulled over could have deadly consequences. His name was in every database—one call in from a highway cop could end it all. He missed having a private life too, but today had shown him once again that his first responsibility was to the team. To the mission.

  Being with Tam had been fucking unbelievable. He wanted nothing more than to be with her again and again. But that wasn’t going to happen.

  He’d freaked Seth out. They’d all been worried sick that he and Tam had been captured or killed. None of them needed that kind of anxiety, especially not from him.

  He dried himself off and put on his clothes, hoping Tam would understand. It wasn’t that he regretted his actions, but he should have called Seth and warned him about the delay. The whole episode had confirmed what he’d suspected for months. He liked Tam too much. While he’d been busy distracting her from the nightmare she’d survived, she’d distracted him from his command.

  He went back into the main room, where he saw Tam waiting on the bed. She had her clothes on her lap. All the joy had left her face, and she seemed haunted once more.

  She needed time, that’s all. Time and a purpose. He’d see to that. But first, he’d get her the hell out of Los Angeles. Not that she wouldn’t be in danger in Nevada. There would be no real rest until they’d won this fight.

  “It’s all yours,” he said.

  “I won’t be long.”

  He nodded, then turned away as she walked naked to the bathroom. It would have been a whole hell of a lot easier if he didn’t like her so much. After it was all over, he’d have to see about this. See if what he felt for her was the real deal, or just a matter of circumstance.

  For now, he had only one thing he could focus on. Exposing Omicron. Nothing else mattered.

  While Tam showered, he passed the time cleaning his gun, and thinking about what came next.

  * * * * * *

  THE SHOWER FELT WONDERFUL, and so did the big fluffy towel as Tam dried off, but putting on her only clothes nearly made her weep.

  They smelled of smoke and fear. It was just a T-shirt and jeans, and they would be fine after a wash, but she wanted more than anything to throw them away. She didn’t even have clean underwear. She had ditched those, choosing to go commando, and she’d turned her socks inside out, but it all felt wrong.

  Was there money to get her new things? Probably not after they paid for
the hotel room. Why had he brought her here? This place had to cost at least a hundred a night.

  She wiped a clear spot on the mirror, and sighed as she got a load of her hair. She had no brush. No toothbrush. Nothing except the clothes on her back and a flash drive.

  Using her fingers, she tried to make her hair obey, but it was no use. Then she rinsed her mouth out with water, and scrubbed her teeth with her finger, and that was even less successful than her finger comb.

  She left the bathroom, and there was Nate standing by the door. He seemed impatient, and she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She wasn’t sure why she was embarrassed. It wasn’t because of what they’d done. No, that had been the best thing she’d done in ages. Something else was going on, but she couldn’t pinpoint it. Not yet.

  “You ready?”

  She nodded. “I’d really appreciate it if we could stop at a gas station with a mini-mart. I need a toothbrush and a few other things.”

  “You got it.”

  She looked at him again, at his businesslike tone and she had to know. “Are you sorry?”

  His shoulders sagged and he walked right up to her. He lifted her chin so he could look her straight in the eyes. “No. Don’t ever think that. I haven’t felt that wonderful in so long, I can’t even tell you. But I should have called the team. They were worried.”

  “I understand.”

  He hesitated, then he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I’ll never forget this.”

  She smiled, but his words didn’t comfort. She would have pressed, but they needed to go. And she needed to think.

  What did she want from him? She’d asked him to help her forget, and he’d done just that. She’d figured since it had been so great that they’d do it again. But that was an assumption she needed to examine.

  He opened the door and she knew the moment she stepped into the hallway that she had to give up her little fantasy. She wasn’t at all sure what would come next, just that what had prompted her to proposition him in the first place was still true. She didn’t want to die alone.