Her gaze searched his face, and he wondered what she saw. Then suddenly she nodded. ‘Yes. Thank you.’
That was the hard part over. Now Alistair could get on with what he had planned for the day.
‘In that case, let’s give her an idea first of how we can make the things she imagines into a reality. I thought we’d spend some time with our development team for starters—we call them the Dream Team.’
Raina smiled, looking round at her daughter. ‘That sounds like a great idea.’
The little girl was still deep in conversation with her doll. Every time Alistair looked at Anya, a special kind of pain tugged at his heart. But it would fade in time, and until then he’d have to ignore it.
He rose, picking up the box that contained his hearing aid and stuffing it into his pocket. Raina called Anya, telling her that they had to go now, then paused suddenly.
‘Is that your new hearing aid?’
‘Yes. I only got it a few days ago, and I have to wear it for two hours a day for starters.’
‘I seem to remember from my time in audiology that it’s at least two hours a day.’ Raina had done a turn in the hospital’s audiology department when she’d been training, and it was typical of her that she forgot nothing. Everyone else in the office, Gabriel included, just took his word for it.
‘Yes. Now you mention it...’ Alistair took the box from his pocket, taking out the hearing aid, aware that Anya was regarding him solemnly.
‘What’s that?’
‘It’s...um...’ He shot Raina a questioning look. Alistair wasn’t at all sure how to explain a hearing aid to a three-year-old. Or why a child with presumably perfect hearing would even want to know.
‘That’s Alistair’s hearing aid, sweetie.’ Raina came to his rescue. ‘Alistair’s ear has stopped working, and his hearing aid helps him to hear everything we say to him.’
She said the words as if she was describing a miracle. That had been Alistair’s first thought, until the odd sounds that the hearing aid produced had set in, and it had felt more like an instrument of torture. Nothing sounded quite the way he remembered it. But Anya believed in the miracle, and her eyes were as round as saucers.
He put the earpiece into his ear, adjusting the back to sit neatly behind it. Suddenly the muted sounds around him sprang into sharp, almost agonising focus, but Alistair smiled all the same.
‘Did you make it?’ Anya had obviously been told a little about what she was here for.
‘No, I didn’t make it. But we make lots of other things. Would you like to come and see them?’ Today was all about showing Anya that science could help people, and maybe he should take heed of the lesson too.
* * *
Pre-meeting nerves hadn’t covered it. It was more a matter of feeling sick to her stomach, feeling her body stiff with tension. This meant so much for Anya. And Raina was determined not to admit that it meant a great deal to her that it was Alistair who would be taking her case.
He was committed to this project, and when Alistair committed himself to something he rarely failed. He would undoubtedly do his very best for Anya, and that was what Raina wanted. He’d be professional, hiding whatever emotion he had about the situation, because that was what Alistair did supremely well.
He ushered them upstairs, walking into a large office and introducing everyone. Kaia, Ben and Alfie had clearly taken control of their environment, making it look something like a teenager’s bedroom. Kaia was the most outgoing of the three, getting up from behind the large computer screen on her desk and coming over to chat. She wore a filmy pinafore dress over a T-shirt, with sneakers, and looked casual and cool.
‘I’ve got some bricks, Anya. I made them myself.’ Kaia bent down to speak to Anya. ‘Would you like to come and see?’
Anya nodded, looking up at Raina. ‘Yes, that’s all right. Go with Kaia.’ She watched them walk over to a purple sofa in the corner of the room. There was a pile of bricks on the coffee table in front of it, and when Anya picked one up it caught the light, sparkling brightly. It seemed that she was about to get a fun idea of what the 3D printer could produce.
Alistair shot her a smile and sauntered over to Ben’s workstation, peering over his shoulder. Ben had taken the least notice of them, acknowledging their presence only with a nod and the raising of his hand, before going back to the two computer screens in front of him.
‘Do you want something?’
Alistair shrugged. ‘No. Just taking an interest. And pretending I know what on earth that is.’ He nodded at the screen.
Ben responded with a half-smile. These three were clearly young and talented and it seemed that Ben was working on the cutting edge of something that everyone else only barely understood. Alistair had the difficult job of giving them direction and keeping their feet on the ground.
‘It’s the mechanism for closing the hand. It wasn’t exactly right.’
Alfie chuckled. ‘Yeah. Make a fist, Alistair. Ben’s been driving everyone crazy...’
Ben frowned. ‘Because making a fist isn’t just making a fist. If you wanted to punch me, then your thumb would be in a very different place from if you wanted to pick something up.’
Alfie rolled his eyes, in a clear indication that he already wanted to punch Ben. Alistair gave that easygoing grin that could smooth over the most troubled waters.
‘Suppose we resort to real-world expectations?’
Ben’s shrug in reply indicated that real-world expectations weren’t his thing. No wonder they called this the Dream Team. Raina reckoned that it took a bit of work to keep their feet touching the ground even part of the time.
‘What are your thoughts, Raina?’ A smile hovered on Alistair’s lips.
‘Well...’ Raina decided that she should at least recognise Ben’s way of thinking. ‘Most parents would say they wanted their children to pick things up rather than punch them. And I have seen instances of children using their prostheses as a weapon, they put them on only when they want to hit out at something. So I think that the arm should work like a tool and not a weapon.’
‘Yeah, form and function. I get it.’ He nodded and looked back at his screen, muttering under his breath, ‘Finally. Some sanity.’
Alistair chuckled. ‘I heard that, Ben. I’ve got my hearing aid in.’
Ben was already lost in his thoughts. ‘You know one day we’ll be able to make a limb that can feel. Assess temperature and texture...’ He smiled suddenly, as if the impossible was just something that hadn’t happened yet.
‘One day. Not today. At the moment we’re finding out what’s going to be best for Anya...’ Alistair raised one eyebrow, as if this was a conversation he’d already had with Ben.
‘Yeah, okay. Well, I’ll need to see our subject pick up a range of things. In a controlled environment.’
‘Forget it, Ben,’ Alistair replied. ‘This is the real world, and you can’t ask a three-year-old to pick up objects of varying weight and size and put them back down again a hundred times, while you watch her do it. And her name’s Anya.’
‘Uh. Yes, sorry.’ Ben flashed Raina an apologetic look and went straight back to his screen.
‘What about getting Anya to draw something, and then rendering it up as a 3D model and printing it. Then you can watch her play with it and see how she handles it.’ Alistair had hit on a middle way, glancing from Raina to Ben to see if it met with approval from both of them.
‘That would be great, she’d love that. And it would be a way of showing her that what she imagines can be made real.’ Raina hesitated. ‘If it’s not going to take up too much of Ben’s time.’
Alistair shook his head. ‘This project is all about finding out what works. None of that is going to be a waste of time.’
Ben nodded. ‘What are we going to print?’
‘Anything she likes. As Raina said, it’s abo
ut showing her that her dreams can be made into reality.’
‘I could do a velociraptor.’ Ben’s face lit up. ‘They’re fascinating creatures. Computer modelling shows that they may have used their tails as balance mechanisms...’
‘She doesn’t know what a velociraptor is, but she loves dinosaurs.’ Raina ventured a compromise.
‘Great.’ Alistair beamed. ‘So we’ll ask her to draw a dinosaur and Ben can make whatever small adjustments are needed to stop it from falling flat on its face. I think we’re all on the same page now.’
Somehow they were. Alistair’s ability to negotiate between two entirely different points of view had never been in doubt. It was his point of view that had eluded Raina. But his private thoughts were no longer any of her concern.
* * *
His head was buzzing, and a series of loud, inexplicable noises seemed to be coming from somewhere. When Alistair looked around the room, it turned out to be the hiss of the coffee machine. At this rate it was going to be a miracle if he managed to keep track of a three-year-old, an ex-wife and three designers who were gifted but didn’t have the practical experience to turn their ideas into workable solutions.
At least he was having no difficulty hearing what Raina said. He wondered whether that was because he seemed to be acutely aware of every move she made, and decided that it was because she was making it easy for him to hear her. This project mattered as much to her as it did to him, and communication was the key.
But since everyone seemed to be communicating pretty well without him, he retired to the corner of the room, taking out his hearing aid. It was the aural equivalent of someone suddenly putting a bag over his head, and everything seemed suddenly muffled and indistinct. But at least he wasn’t jumping all the time.
‘Going to put that back on?’ Somehow Raina managed to speak in a way that he could hear, and yet at the same time make their conversation private. How did she do that?
‘Um... Not at the moment. I think that the audiologist must have adjusted it incorrectly, everything seems very distorted.’ Alistair pulled open the battery compartment to switch the hearing aid off, and put it into his pocket.
‘It’s going to sound distorted. If anything, that means they’ve got it right, because you’re hearing things that you haven’t heard for the last few months. Your brain just needs a bit of time to catch up and learn how to process those sounds again.’
‘The audiologist did mention that. But I don’t think this can be right. I feel constantly on edge with it.’
‘Of course you do. We instinctively react to sounds we don’t recognise and block out the ones we do if they’re of no importance to us.’
When Raina reminded him of that well-understood fact, everything seemed a bit better. Warmer and full of promise, tempering the harsh, brittle sounds that he felt overwhelmed by at times.
‘I suppose that asking a three-year-old to get to grips with a new arm, when I’ve got my hearing aid in my pocket is... I should practise what I preach a little more.’
Raina shrugged. ‘I’m sure that Anya will need a bit of coaxing, too. Kaia seems to be making a good job of that.’ She nodded over to where Kaia had lifted Anya up to see through the partition window, into the room where the 3D printer was housed. Alistair had reckoned that sparkly plastic bricks might catch Anya’s attention and they were small enough that they didn’t take too long to print.
‘And that’s what you’re doing? Coaxing me?’ Alistair rather wished that she would.
She smiled suddenly, stepping closer. Alistair caught a trace of her scent and suddenly his whole body was taking notice of Raina. ‘Perhaps I can get Ben to make you a sparkly cover for your earpiece.’
Alistair took the hearing aid from his pocket and put it back into his ear. ‘Don’t do that. He’ll be wanting to incorporate something useful. GPS tracking probably to give them advanced warning of when I’m on my way up here.’
‘That would be useful.’ Raina seemed to suddenly realise that the conversation had slipped into familiarity and that they were standing very close. Almost touching. Her cheeks flushed and she stepped back. Alistair wondered whether he should apologise and decided that would only make things even more awkward.
Alistair cleared his throat, trying to dislodge the lump that had formed, forcing his thoughts back to the present and the task in hand. ‘So...practically speaking, we can fit Anya with a new prosthetic very easily. Our real difficulty is going to be in showing her what benefits it might give her.’
‘You have some ideas about that?’ Raina looked up at him, and when Alistair saw the trust in her dark eyes he almost turned away in shame. He’d done so little to deserve her trust, but maybe he could change that. If he paid the debt that he owed her, maybe he could bring himself to move on with his life.
‘Yes, I have some ideas. But first I’d like Anya to spend some more time up here. Kaia’s got some great ideas for fun things to make, and I’m hoping that if Anya gets involved with that process, she’ll feel that making her a prosthetic is just another fun thing that we can do.’
‘That sounds wonderful. When would you like us to come back?’
‘As often as you like. Kaia’s working with one of the other children on the project in the mornings, but she’s set aside her afternoons for Anya.’
‘Tomorrow?’ Raina’s face lit up in a smile, and Alistair couldn’t help feeling that this was the reason he’d got out of bed this morning.
‘Tomorrow would be great.’
CHAPTER FIVE
THE DREAM TEAM had walked the extra mile and then one more for Anya. Ben had made a dinosaur for her, which was a direct replica of one that the little girl had drawn, right down to the smile on its face. The bricks took a shorter time to print, and Anya was beginning to understand that anything that she or the Dream Team could imagine might emerge from the ‘magic printer’.
The two offices at the far end of the main office were both beginning to look more and more like playrooms. Gabriel’s was all his own work, and when he was in the office he seemed to add something more every day to the pile of toys that he was assessing for suitability for the twins that he and his wife Clara were expecting.
‘He’ll get over it.’ Alistair had smilingly dismissed his friend’s enthusiasm. ‘Gabriel never does anything by halves.’
Raina shook her head, trying to smile. Gabriel was never going to get over it, and that was exactly as it should be. He’d given his heart already, and Raina knew from her own experience that there was never going to be a time when he got it back.
Alistair’s office was a little more focussed. Five boxes, one of which bore Anya’s name and contained her bricks and the dinosaur. Whenever they visited, he carried the box upstairs, staying for a while to observe the sessions with Kaia.
‘She’s naturally right-handed?’ Alistair and Raina had left Anya with Kaia, and gone back downstairs to talk.
‘As far as I know. Both Andrew and Theresa were right handed, and statistically it’s much more likely. She was too young when the accident happened to have already shown any preference.’
Alistair nodded, recording her answer on his laptop. He’d been taking notes of everything and they’d form a good record of Anya’s development and progress. Probably nothing like the record that was engraved on Raina’s heart, but...that wasn’t the aim, here.
‘There is evidence that when older people lose their dominant hand, the brain compensates.’ He mulled the question over for a moment. ‘Have you ever seen any evidence that she experiences phantom feelings or pain?’
‘No. Not as far as I know. She never talks about her other hand. Obviously she’s noticed that most people have two, but it’s normal for her to just have one.’
Alistair nodded. ‘The research is inconclusive, but that would be in line with what’s generally recognised to be the case.’
‘Yeah. I seem to remember...’ Raina shook her head.
‘Remember what?’ Alistair stopped typing and shot her a questioning look.
‘Nothing. Just that I read up about all of this and...to be honest, most of what I read is a bit of a blur.’ She shrugged guiltily.
Alistair leaned back in his chair, his face softening suddenly. ‘Of course it is. You were grieving and learning to take care of a child. You must have been exhausted.’
It was the first time they’d touched on her feelings. This had been all about Anya, and how she felt. Having Alistair ask about what she felt was more uncomfortable and raised questions she’d rather not answer.
‘Yeah. I suppose so.’
‘Have you talked to anyone about this?’
Had she talked? Alistair had barely been there to talk to when she’d lost their baby. That had been one of the things that had torn them apart. Raina bit back the urge to snap at him.
‘Yes.’ That would do. He didn’t need to know where she’d found support from, he just needed to know any particulars that referred to Anya’s case. Wanting to tell him how hard that first year had been wasn’t going to make him understand that any better.
‘Right. Good.’ Thankfully Alistair didn’t write that down.
‘What about your feelings, Alistair?’ The words had been on the tip of her tongue for days now, and they slipped out before Raina could stop them.
‘My feelings?’ He gave her an innocent look, which didn’t wash for a minute. Alistair had been friendly and kind, making sure that Anya had everything she needed. But he’d never played with her, and seldom even spoke to her unless he had to.
Raina swallowed hard. ‘I just meant... You must have them.’
‘Yes. I do.’ His face was impassive. He was never going to change, and Raina had to accept that. A tear rolled down her face, and she wiped it away. She didn’t want Alistair to see her crying.
‘Come with me.’ He stood, ushering her out of his office, past the desks outside. Raina followed him up the stairs, past the Dream Team’s office, and into the conference room.
Second Chance with the Single Mom Page 5
