The Scars of Us

by Nikki Narvaez

  Pulling out, I turned the woman around as I knelt behind her. I took a condom out of my wallet before rolling it over my cock and sinking myself into her, making her moan loudly in pleasure.

  Gripping her hips, I imagined I was pounding into Kaiya instead of some random girl. I closed my eyes, envisioning her silken skin, perfect body, and beautiful face as my dick repeatedly stroked inside her.

  My hips smacked against her ass as my pace increased, the image of Kaiya bringing me closer to release with each passing second.

  Crying out, the woman’s pussy tightened around me, her body trembling its climax before she lay slack on the floor, ass still up as I plunged deeper into her. My fingers dug into her hips as I slammed her harder against me, seeking my own release.

  Groaning, I stilled as I came, panting heavily to regain my breath. Once I did, I pulled out from the unnamed woman.

  She rolled over and spread her legs, opening herself to me. “Want to go again?”

  My dick had already started to go down once I was reminded that she wasn’t Kaiya. I slid the condom off me as I said, “Nah, I’m good.”

  She looked offended as I stood up before throwing the condom away and buttoning my jeans.

  “What?” she angrily asked, her mouth setting in a hard line as she closed her legs and sat up.

  “I said that I’m good,” I replied as I turned and reached for the doorknob. I didn’t even wait for her reply as I opened the door and left.

  Bryce had been more than happy when I’d called and asked if I could come over. Even though I’d wanted to take Ryker up on his offer at the bar, I’d been too scared to go through with it. So instead, I pushed him away. Chicken shit.

  As I put my clothes back on, Bryce commented, “I’ve missed you, Ky.”

  What’s with him lately? He’s never been so affectionate. “We saw each other last week,” I reminded, my response cut and dry as I avoided his penetrating gaze.

  “I know, I’ve just missed you,” he said with sincerity as he sat next to me on the bed. He tucked a strand of my wild, sex hair behind my ear before caressing my cheek.

  What do I say to that? “Thanks.” It sounded more like a question than an expression of gratitude.

  “Thanks?” he chortled without humor.

  Squeezing the bridge of my nose with my fingers, I replied, “What do you want me to say, Bryce?”

  He stood angrily as he said, “I don’t know, maybe that you missed me too.”

  But I haven’t. I’ve been too consumed with Ryker to think about anyone else. “I’m sorry—you know I don’t do feelings well.” I really didn’t.

  Sighing, he rubbed the back of his neck. “I know. Don’t worry about it.”

  After Bryce walked me to my car, I drove home, thinking about the events of the night, wondering why I couldn’t have just let go and lose myself in Ryker like I’d wanted to.

  I didn’t see Ryker again until class on Thursday. He wasn’t at the gym on Wednesday when I went after work. I hated the gnawing feeling in my chest from not seeing him, and I thought I was going to explode once it combined with the knots in my stomach from the anticipation of finally seeing him again at class.

  When I arrived, he was hitting one of the bags. Sweat glistened over his skin as he fluidly moved, doing intricate combinations while simultaneously delivering substantial force. His muscles bulged as he used them expertly, and I found myself drawing closer to him, enthralled by his power and grace.

  Seeing me out of the corner of his eye, he stopped before turning, his lips curving up in a cocky grin, “Like what you see?”

  Um, yeah. Ignoring his comment, I responded, “I’m just trying to see the correct form so I can get better. I suck at this stuff.”

  “Yeah, you’re pretty terrible,” he replied jokingly as he leaned against the bag. When I glared at him, he continued, “You just started—you’re not going to be an expert from the get go. But honestly, you’ve been doing great.”

  I felt my cheeks heat—seriously? Get a grip. “Thanks,” I replied before pausing. “I’m sorry about the other night.”

  He chuckled, “I think I’m having deja vu.”

  I smiled. “I’m just not good at this—whatever this is.”

  “A beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have any trouble with guys.”

  Yeah, and they shouldn’t have issues because of their brother molesting them either. “I’m not like other women. I’ve already warned you that I have issues.”

  “And I thought I made it clear that I didn’t care.” He pushed off the bag and came toward me. “I want to get to know you, Kaiya.”

  “I’m not looking for a relationship,” I stated firmly, locking my eyes with his as I crossed my arms over my chest.

  Ryker’s lips tipped up in that sexy smirk. “I guess we have something in common then.”

  “I don’t just want a one night stand, either,” I blurted, surprised that I had voiced what I wanted. My stomach knotted uncomfortably as I waited to hear his response.

  Those deep, beautiful eyes of his studied me, and I wished I could hear what he was thinking. “So, you want something between a one night stand and a relationship, huh?”

  I sighed, “I don’t know what I want. This is all happening so fast for me.” I want you, though.

  He kept our eyes locked as he said, “Well, when you figure it out, let me know. I don’t want to keep pressuring you if you’re not ready.” His tone was sincere, but I still didn’t trust his words.

  “Thank you for understanding.” The skeptical side of me wondered if he was trying to play me, telling me what I wanted to hear so that I’d give into him. But the smaller part of me, the optimistic side, hoped that it wasn’t just an act. “What are we working on today?”

  “I’ll probably work with you again on the techniques we’ve done, but I also want to show you some blocks and other moves to keep you from getting in those situations.”

  I get to have that body pressed against me again? Yes, please. “Okay, sounds good,” I replied, hiding my excitement.

  As I turned to walk away, he asked, “Hey, do you want me to help you with some punches before class starts? I can give you some one-on-one attention.”

  Yes! Yes! “Sure, that’s fine. I bought some gloves,” I said, trying to pretend I wasn’t jumping for joy on the inside as I pulled my new gloves out of my bag.

  “Great, put them on and meet me at the bag.”

  I set my stuff down by the wall before slipping my gloves on. I don’t know why, but just putting them on made me feel powerful and in control, like I could take on anyone. Even him.

  When I came up to the bag, Ryker surprised me by walking around and standing behind me. Stiffening, my heart skipped a beat before going into overdrive, thumping wildly in my chest as I nervously asked, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to show you how your body needs to be moving with each strike,” he replied unaware of the panic overtaking me. He was so close that I could feel the heat from his body at my back. Pressing his large, muscular chest against me, he ran his hands over my arms, causing goose bumps to break over my skin.

  For some reason, I wasn’t scared like I would normally be if someone was this close to me. I was nervous as fuck, but not afraid. Excited, but not afraid. I still couldn’t understand why Ryker was different, why he made me feel so many things other than fear. The only thing I knew was that I liked it.

  His gloved hands covered mine as he instructed, “Relax—you’re always so tense. Kickboxing is very fluid and is all about moving your body the right way.”

  Bringing our joined arms out by my sides, he shook them, trying to loosen my taut muscles. Then, he brought our hands up in front of my face as he positioned our bodies in the traditional fighters’ stance. Extending our right arms out towards the bag, he said, “Do you feel how we’re twisting slightly when we throw this jab? Every move needs to be like this, using your body as a power source. Our muscles are made to work to
gether, just like when we lift something heavy or do other everyday tasks.”

  As he pulled my hand back in front of my face, he twisted our bodies more as we threw a punch with our left hands, slightly pivoting our hips inward. Feeling his sweaty, firm body pressed against me, especially the lower half, was so distracting; I could barely focus on what he was saying. “Kaiya?”

  “Huh? What?” I felt like I was under some sort of spell.

  “Did you feel how we used more movement with the punch over the jab? Whatever side is behind will require more force to correctly execute.”

  I couldn’t speak, not with him flush against me like that, so I just nodded. We continued working that way until other members started entering for class. By then, my body was sticky with heat from a combination of hitting the bag and Ryker’s proximity to me. All I could think about was how his bare body would feel tangled with mine.

  Once we started kickboxing, I started to let myself go as I worked on the combo Ryker modeled. I loved hitting the bag—absolutely loved it. Even though I wasn’t very good yet, it was an amazing outlet for my stress and anxiety, not to mention my anger. It felt good to release it, free myself from all my negative emotions, at least for a brief time. They always slithered back, snaking their way inside and tainting my soul with their poison.

  After the kickboxing segment of class was over, Ryker and I practiced the technique that he taught me the week before. I wasn’t as uncomfortable since I was becoming accustomed to his touch, so I was able to execute the maneuver better.

  Constantly touching him electrified my skin, intensifying the sexual tension that was already present between us. My mind and my body warred—my body wanted to give in to Ryker while my mind protested, fearing that inevitably, I would be hurt by him.

  I didn’t trust my body, especially since it betrayed me so many times in the past. I knew that I needed to follow my head when it came to Ryker, to be smart and not give into my emotions and desires so easily.

  Ryker broke through my thoughts, “Let’s work on a common variation of this move since you seem to have this one down.” He lay down on his back before continuing, “Straddle me.”

  “Excuse me?” I stammered nervously, feeling my cheeks heat.

  “Straddle me. I’m going to show you how to escape if an attacker pins your arms to the floor.”

  I hesitated briefly before climbing on top of him. His body felt so right beneath me.

  “Now, pin my hands by my head.”

  Doing what Ryker instructed, I leaned over, clasping my hands around his thick, tattooed wrists and pinning them to the ground.

  “First thing you’re going to do is simultaneously bring up your right knee while shooting your left arm upwards, like this,” he said before modeling.

  I felt his knee prop against my ass as he made me lean forward by jerking his left arm upwards. “Now, you’re going to roll to the right and pin your attacker.”

  Swiftly rolling, Ryker had me pinned beneath him in seconds. “Once here, you can use the strikes I taught you last week to attack them. Elbows would probably be best from this position.”

  Even though he was wearing loose shorts, I could still feel his semi-hard, yet still impressive erection pressing into my lower abdomen, muddling my thoughts as arousal flooded me. Focus, Kaiya.

  Ryker smirked at me; I was pretty sure that my desire was written all over my face. “You want to try? I already have you pinned,” he pointed out as he lightly pushed his hips against me and pressed down on my arms.

  Heat simmered between my thighs from the slight movement, from having Ryker’s flawless form hovering over me. My eyes trailed over the intricate tattoos exposed from his tight muscle shirt, which spanned his chest and spread over his arms all the way down to his hands. I had to fight the urge to trace them with my fingers.

  Ryker cleared his throat before huskily saying, “If you keep looking at me like, I’m not going to be able to do what I said earlier.”

  My gaze snapped up to his, and his eyes reflected the desire I felt. I wanted him so badly, wanted to tell him how I felt, but I couldn’t. I had too much baggage that he didn’t deserve to deal with; no one did. My voice cracked as I said, “Sorry. What do I do from here?”

  “Jerk your left arm up while bending your right knee and putting it against my back.”

  I doubted that I would be able to move my arm, especially since his were double the size of mine and his muscles were so big.

  Jerking my arm above my head, I caused Ryker’s weight to shift forward as his arm went with mine, bringing his face only inches from my own. My eyes focused on his lips, the ones I had tasted only a few nights ago, and had thought about every night since.

  Ryker’s grip tightened on my wrists as he gruffly reminded, “Don’t forget your knee.”

  Shit, concentrate! I brought my right knee up, pressing it into Ryker. “Now use that leg to roll us over.”

  Pushing with my right leg, I tried to roll us, but couldn’t; Ryker was so much heavier than me. “I can’t,” I sighed agitatedly.

  “Yes, you can, Warrior. Put those hips into it—use your whole body.”

  Doing as Ryker said, I bucked my hips, using my entire body for momentum as I pushed against him. Slowly, I was able to roll us over until I was mounted on top of him again. A smile spread over my face as I impulsively put my arms up in the arms and squealed, “I did it!”

  Embarrassment took over my happiness as I brought my arms down, the heat that was in my core now rushing up to my face. I looked down at Ryker, who had a proud smile on his face as he chuckled, “Awesome job.”

  “Thank you,” I mumbled.

  We practiced a few more times, and the longer Ryker was touching me, the more my resistance crumbled. I probably would have let him fuck me right there on the mat in front of everyone by the time we finally finished. Not really, but I was seriously contemplating it.

  After class ended, Ryker walked me out to my car. Leaning against the driver’s side door, he praised, “You did really good today.”

  “You’re just saying that,” I replied as I rolled my eyes.

  “No, really, you did great. You’re progressing well—it usually takes people weeks to really get the techniques down.”

  “Well, thank you,” I smiled. Our eyes met, and Ryker was looking at me with that sexy smirk that tightened my core while setting it on fire.

  Uncomfortably squirming under his gaze, I spoke, “I better get going. I’ll see you Thursday.”

  Ryker leaned in, and my lips parted in response to his closeness. I closed my eyes as I waited for his lips to meet mine, but instead I felt them on my cheek as he brought me into him and whispered, “Goodnight, Warrior.”

  As he pulled away, my voice embarrassingly cracked, “Goodnight.”

  Ryker stifled a laugh as he backed away, his eyes never leaving mine until he turned around and jogged back to the entrance of the gym.

  As I sat in my car, I wondered how long I could resist him, if I would be able to at all. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t think of an outcome that ended well. One of us would end up hurt, most likely me, no matter which way I looked at it. No one wanted damaged goods anyway.

  As I started the car, I sighed and made my decision. It was best for both of us if we didn’t get involved. No one would get hurt, and it was less complicated if I was going to continue taking classes. No matter how much my body wanted him, my head knew better, knew what was best to protect me from more pain. Now if only my heart would understand.

  Kaiya had been coming to class for a few weeks, and her technique and form had improved greatly. But when we practiced certain defense maneuvers, her body stiffened and her grip was tight, her apprehension evident in her tense muscles and wary eyes.

  She had become more guarded, keeping some distance between us and pulling away when I touched her for too long. I tried giving her the space I had promised, but it was getting harder with each passing day.

  The sexu
al tension between us had increased over the weeks. Every detail of her silky skin had been committed to memory from touching her so much, making me want her even more. Since Kaiya was only comfortable working with me, that meant constant, close contact, which I didn’t mind at all, but she was always resisting, always fighting me, both in class, and in my personal advances. I could see the desire all over her face, especially in those eyes, but she always fought it, fought what I knew we were both feeling. My little warrior.

  I hadn’t realized I had so much self-control—I wanted Kaiya more than I had ever wanted another woman. Her resistance only made me want her that much more. Any other girl would’ve been in and out of my bed by now, but Kaiya was different—I couldn’t do the same with her that I did with other women. That confused and irritated the shit out of me. My patience was running thin, and I wasn’t going to keep playing games with her. I’ll have her soon.

  After working on the bags, I asked the group about what self-defense technique they wanted to work on. One of the students raised her hand. “Can we work on getting out of a choke?”

  The other students voiced their agreement, but Kaiya stiffened. Her eyes widened, and her lips tightened as our gazes locked.

  “Okay, get with your usual partners.” While everyone else split up on the mats, I walked over toward Kaiya, keeping my eyes fixed on her. “Everything okay?”

  “I don’t know if I can do this.” She looked away as she reached for her neck. She stopped herself and pulled her hand away before looking up at me. “I don’t like having my throat touched.”

  My eyes went to her throat. A thin scar spread about two inches long against her pale skin. I had to be looking at it just right to see it, or else it would be undetectable in the natural creases and curves of her neck. How the fuck did she get that? I knew she wouldn’t tell me what had happened, so I didn’t ask… yet.