Chapter Eight
He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man. He that is more than a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a man, I am not for him.
William Shakespeare, Much Ado About Nothing, Act 2, Scene 1
The procession of Dorset carriages arrived by early evening with much excitement and anticipation on the part of staff and family alike. Footmen scattered to unload all the provisions and trunks while the ladies' maids made haste to each mistress's room to begin unpacking and arranging each chamber. Juliet and Miranda hurriedly sponged the road dust from their bodies, changed from their travel clothes into walking dresses, then made for the first floor terrace overlooking the long front drive. They had scarcely arrived when the pounding of hooves could be heard coming up the graveled road to the manor.
"Well, there they come, the 'Lords of Oxford.' I had wondered if Jonas would invite his brothers-in-arms from university. That explains why he was willing to host this house party instead of foisting it off on Mama. That thundering quintet rides hard, drinks hard, and plays hard. Their attendance at this party could actually provide some additional entertainment."
Ladies Miranda and Juliet watched the approaching riders and the ensuing dust cloud from the terrace off the second floor ballroom. Each twisted the ribbons of her bonnets as they stared down from their perch.
"Mayhap you will find a husband from this band of peers,” Juliet remarked as she carefully looked over the approaching riders. “I do not see my brother. I suppose he rides accompanying my parents' carriage." She studied the horsemen again then spun to look at her friend, her face alive with the thrill of a new idea. "Oh, Randa! What of causing your brother to think you interested in a marital candidate from the LOO? How delicious! He would be beside himself to prevent you from pursuing one of his schoolmates, or letting them pursue you. That would turn the tables on him, no doubt, or at least make him feel dyspeptic as he watches."
Miranda's mouth slowly began to curl up in a devilish smile. "How better to turn the marriage mart stakes back in my favor than only having eyes for a member of the LOO." She grabbed Juliet's arm and squeezed tightly. "My dearest, have I told you lately how much I like the way you think? Your idea shall be my backup should our hoaxes fail to deter Jonas' plans. I would rather not spend more time than needed with any of those hounds unless absolutely necessary for my cause." The ladies began to laugh, the light sound flowing down to the drive to the ears of the now-stopped horsemen, drawing their attention to the terrace. Heavy booted footfalls behind them caused the ladies to notice Jonas joining them to glare down at his arriving friends.
"Ho there, Jonas, what have we here? Some of those pleasant diversions for the week?" Roman de Courtenay, Marquis of Stafford, cast an appreciative leer upward, his statement bringing smiles to the faces of his friends.
"Hardly, Stafford. We are all acquainted by virtue of university tales and ballroom soirees.” The Duke extended his arm to the ladies to his left. “Allow me to present once again my sister, Lady Miranda. She is joined by her best friend, Lady Juliet Quinn, daughter of our neighbor, the Marquis of Lansdowne, sister to our own dear Bristol.”
“Oh bother, Jonas! We all are acquainted and need not this ceremonial flummery,” Miranda scolded.
“The formality sets the tone I wish to convey to these louts.” The Duke paused here for effect. “In other words, do not tamper nor toy with, and certainly do not touch these ladies," he called down to his friends. "Consider this your only warning," he informed them with teeth gritted. Miranda scowled but remained silent.
"Now that is a pity," remarked the Earl of Aylesford, trying to deliberately raise his friend's ire. “And while I am too much the gentleman to remark on the beauty of your sister, at least in your presence Dorset, as Bristol has not joined us yet and cannot draw my cork for any comments, I will observe that you, Lady Juliet, are most stunning." Aylesford gave a half bow and a full smirk.
Having just thought this himself more times within the past twenty-four hours than he would care to admit, Jonas could not disagree, but he also could not let the challenging comment go unanswered. “As her brother will soon join our party I suggest you school your thoughts. In addition to Bristol, Lady Juliet will also be chaperoned by her parents. I do not think the Marquis would be so understanding of your appreciation.” Jonas cast a disparaging glance at the Earl but was prevented from speaking further by his sister pushing him further down the balustrade and away from their location on the terrace.
"Jonas! Do be a good host and be kind to these gentlemen," intoned Miranda patronizingly as she smiled flirtatiously in the general direction of all the lords.
The Duke grimaced but stood quiet at her remonstrance. Immediately the Marquis of Hertford jumped into the silence, dismounting gallantly and doffing his hat to make a low, sweeping bow. "Lady Miranda, it is indeed a pleasure." Turning, he made another low bow then dropped onto one knee. "'But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.'"
The riders burst into laughter at the antics of the Marquis while Juliet smiled but faintly and rolled her eyes at Miranda before moving to the edge of the terrace railing. "My Lord Hertford, you honor me, as many others have before you, with a quote from that famous bard. Please do not trouble yourself to think original words, but pray favor me with another familiar line." She gave a small curtsey and wry smile to blunt her sarcasm. The lords all convulsed with laughter over her gentle set down, with Aylesford throwing his hat at Hertford. The Marquis straightened to his full height, placing a hand over his heart in mock wound.
"'She speaks! Oh speak again, bright angel!'" he continued his quotations. The lords snickered while Jonas began to look irritated with the exchange.
Juliet retied the bow on her bonnet, having fidgeted with the ribbons until they had loosened. She pointedly fixed her gaze on the Marquis. "'What man art thou that thus bescreen'd in night so stumblest on my council?'" she returned, deftly throwing lines from the famous play as well. As she shared her name with its heroine, her first governess had felt the need to make her memorize numerous passages. Juliet remembered each line learned but still thought it a foolish exercise forced upon her. She lowered her lashes coquettishly before batting them several times in what she hoped was a flirtatious manner, although she felt a little foolish at her attempt to play the simpering miss for the Marquis.
Hertford remained quiet, obviously struggling for another line as he looked around at his friends for support. Aside from a rude hand gesture offered by his cousin Aylesford, he was left to his own devices to continue the witty repartée. After a few more moments of awkward silence he threw up his arms in defeat. "Alas, I have reached the end of my repertoire, dear miss,” he offered, smiling sheepishly. “I forfeit to you, sweet Lady Juliet, and pray you will favor me with more words when next we meet." He executed another formal bow in submission. He was rewarded for his efforts with a kick to his rear by Aylesford, barely maintaining his footing.
Juliet smiled down from the terrace, silver eyes sparkling mischievously. "I accept your forfeit, my lord, with a boon to be named later, perhaps." The ladies curtsied then turned on their heels and exited into the house with graceful swishing of their skirts. The Duke watched their departure before turning back to his comrades.
“I must say, Jonas, that at this moment I am heartily glad I accepted your invitation to this house party. I believe the entertainment you promised will be most diverting indeed,” continued the Marquis.
The Duke harrumphed before making his reply. “See to your horses, gentlemen. The supper gong sounds at seven sharp this eve. We begin country hours immediately.” He turned away from the railing as the men moved towards the stables. Thinking of the exchange he just witnessed, he was reminded of a line from another Shakespearean play: “Lady Juliet, 'get thee to a nunnery,'” he muttered to himself.
Chapter Nine
Lord, what fools these mor
tals be.
William Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act 3, Scene 2
In total there were four and twenty unattached attendees plus respectable chaperones for the party at Edgecliff, with the numbers perfectly balanced between single ladies and gentlemen. In addition to the five Lords of Oxford came Viscount Melville, né George Stansbury, a tall and slender man of thirty years, and his friend Mr. Gregory Burke, the handsome but bland second son of Earl Macclesfield. The Duchess invited Lord Anthony Carmichael, Viscount Torrington, who two years prior at the age of six and twenty inherited his title, along with the accumulated debt of the previous Viscount. His easy manners and natural charm allowed him to remain an affable and respectable gentleman, a benign sort of fortune hunter. Viscount Torrington sought and received an invitation for his friend, the Earl of Dartmouth, whom he knew to be quietly sifting through the marriageable ladies as he needed a wife, an heir, and help with his younger sisters. He was known as a bit of a rake, but an honorable one that left the innocent and the married alone.
Mr. Daniel Shaw was invited due to his sister, Miss Harriet, being an especial friend to both Juliet and Miranda. It did not hurt, in the Duke's eyes, that he was an extremely wealthy member of the landed gentry with his family owning a large majority of the county of Lancashire. Two other friends of the Lords of Oxford, army officers Major William Hughes and Major Lord Marcus Quinn, brother to Lady Juliet, were scheduled to join the party late, their attendance to be a surprise to the Quinn family. Lady Juliet was as yet unaware that her brother had returned from the continent and would be joining the party.
While chiefly a party to engage a suitable suitor for Lady Miranda, propriety called for a respectable number of singe ladies to also be in attendance. Lady Margaret Stansbury, sister to Viscount Melville, was included as her brother squired her to all events he attended. Little was known of the quiet lady, but she was always observed to be all that was proper and polite. Miss Harriet Shaw and Miss Elinor Gates, two ladies quite comely in appearance, were included as members of Miranda's intimate circle but the Duke had no fear they would overshadow his sister. Two friends from Miranda's sewing circle were included at her request, Ladies Temperance Warren and Gertrude Lovelace, in the hopes her friends might aid in distracting any unwanted suitors from their prey.
The presence of the Earl of Dartmouth regrettably meant the presence of his nearest sister, Lady Philippa, a lady altogether too fond of her own voice, too convinced of the superiority of her own opinions, and too enamored of her own countenance. These unfortunate attributes contributed to the motivation of her brother to find her a husband sooner rather than later, hence her invitation to the party. The Duchess of Dorset and the Marquis and Marchioness Lansdowne would stand as the highest-ranking chaperones, in addition to the various mothers and maids accompanying each lady.
The Duchess of Dorset arranged for a variety of entertainments over the fortnight, activities both indoor and outdoor, as determined by the weather. The first day would be spent without a scheduled pursuit as some guests would still be arriving. Those already settled were invited to take a turn in the gardens, enjoy a book or a rest in the library, or indulge in a game of cards or billiards. The music room was also opened for those possessed of that talent.
Instead, Juliet and Miranda spent their morning ensconced in their rooms readying themselves for their first scheme. While attired in normal walking dresses, Juliet carried a small portmanteau that contained two older, threadbare gowns and aprons, and two bottles of spirits. Miranda carried a similar valise that held a large number of whortleberries. Taking the servants' stairs in the rear of the house, the two were able to sneak out undetected as the staff were occupied welcoming and settling the newly arrived guests. After achieving some distance from the house the ladies burst into laughter at their success so far.
“Jules, we are going to have the best time this fortnight. I swear I should have thought of bedeviling Jonas much sooner. I have never felt so alive, free, and excited as I do at this moment.”
Juliet grabbed her friend's hand and squeezed it conspiratorially. “I agree. My mind is positively racing with our ideas. I think we shall have the most fun of our lives.”
The friends laughed again as they hurried on the path through the woods that would lead them to the sportsman's cabin. The tiny house lay near the property line separating Edgecliff from the Quinn's home, Belle Rêverie. It was isolated enough that their presence would go undetected, their plan of action uninterrupted.
Chapter Ten
Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.
William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act 4, Scene 1
The heat from the fire in the small hearth was astonishingly oppressive, but Miranda and Juliet persevered. Although Miranda complained long and loudly, crushing the berries in the cloth had been the easy part. Forcing the mixture through a sieve and into the small pan was done with relative ease as well. Neither lady had realized how tedious it would be to force themselves to stir and watch the pot as the juice reduced over the flames.
"I think we are working much too hard for such a small prank," declared Juliet as she stirred with one hand and wiped her drenched brow with a cloth. "I had not realized just how much labor goes into the task of cooking, especially in this stifling heat, and we are only making a small amount of syrup. I begin to think this is the height of folly."
Miranda lifted her head from its resting place on the small cutting block on the table and dipped her own cloth into a nearby pan of water. Not bothering to wring out the excess, she mopped her face with the wet scrap and moaned. "This should have been a prank for the winter months. I am in misery."
They had opened all the windows in the tiny sportsman's cabin, but no breeze could be coaxed to come inside. Juliet looked down at her sprigged muslin gown of lilac and noticed even the embroidered rosettes decorating the neckline looked wilted from the heat. Her thick apron had lost it starch long ago, but it had served its purpose well as it was dotted with telltale drops of berry juice.
"Randa, come look at this syrup,” she demanded, once again focusing on their task. “It looks like the drizzle cook pours over custard. I think it will suffice. It is very dark, just as Hampton predicted. I am so glad I confided our scheme to him else the first joke would not have worked from the outset. He gave me a bottle of fine port in addition to the brandy. Brandy is amber in color while the port is very dark; he thought our berry syrup would be less noticeable in port. Seeing the color of this concoction I am inclined to agree."
Lady Miranda got up from her stool and peered into the pot that had been removed from the fire peg. She dipped the spoon and tested the viscosity. With a shout of joy she declared it thickened and the ladies both sighed in relief.
"Then we shall hide the brandy and bugger with Jonas' port so it will be the only available spirit. Now, you snuff the fire while I gather our supplies," directed Miranda. Juliet grabbed the basin of water and poured it over the glowing coals. The dying fire hissed as smoke billowed out of the hearth and into the cabin. She jumped back from the grate and turned to her friend.
"Oh, Jules! Your face is covered in soot! What a lark! I wish we had a looking glass."
Juliet smiled ruefully and futilely wiped an equally sooty hand over her grimy cheek. "Be glad we do not, dearest, for you are flushed red as a rose and wet as a cat in the rain. I imagine we both like quite pitiful." Her brow suddenly wrinkled and her mouth formed an 'o' of alarm. "I just realized something. How are we to get past any guests or servants looking as we do? We are in complete dishabille."
Miranda licked the syrup-covered spoon then looked panic-stricken over Juliet's thought of an unforeseen complication. Their families believed them at Belle Rèverie, ostensibly retrieving forgotten items for Juliet. As they had been traveling the paths between the two homes for so many years their lengthy absence this afternoon was likely to go unremarked. To return with their appearance in shambles would not. Juliet moved
about the cabin, shutting windows and returning things to rights, when she remembered the stream that ran along part of this property line.
"I have it! Let us go for a dip in Cobble Creek and blame that for our disarray." Juliet grabbed the pot and poured the syrup into a small bowl then used water from the cistern outside the door to rinse off the pan and spoon.
"That's perfect," exclaimed Miranda. "We shall kill two birds with the one stone and allow the syrup to cool.” She looked around the cabin. “I think everything has been returned to order. Are we ready for a swim?"
Lord Love a Duke Page 4
