I felt guilty as I dressed. I shouldn’t have been so mean to Mac. He was only doing his job, but the way I saw it, he was on Sebastian’s side. I’d always gotten along with Mac. During his time working for Sebastian, he’d always treated me like a little sister. And when Sebastian wasn’t around, Mac’s softer side always came out around me.
But Sebastian had drawn the line in the sand, and Mac wasn’t on my side. That made him public enemy number two, which meant I couldn’t let my guilt get the best of me. Even if I had to pretend he was a bad guy.
Looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, I ran my hands over my bare stomach. My eyes scanned my pale, makeup-free skin, and I shook my head at the image. I looked terrible. The baby was taking his or her toll on me physically and mentally.
Turning to the side, I tilted my head to study my profile. The changes my body was going through were more on the inside than the outside at this point. I knew I wasn’t showing yet, but the bloat was strong and that made my jeans fit a little bit snug. I’d seen Sebastian a few times since finding out I was pregnant, and both times, I’d held my breath in anticipation to see if he’d notice, but each time, he’d said nothing.
I wasn’t sure what I’d expected him to notice, but I was left disappointed each time when he didn’t take one look at me and just know. Tears slipped from my eyes and down my cheeks. I was a mess of tears all the time. Everything made me cry, and I hoped this stage of pregnancy wouldn’t last long.
Wiping away the streaks of tears, I moved to the closet to distract myself. I knew if I lingered too much longer, I was going to talk myself out of going. Not to mention, I was sick to death of crying. I didn’t want to come out of my room with swollen eyes, and I definitely didn’t want to answer to Mac’s suspicions if I looked like I’d been crying.
I debated on what to wear. The thought of showing up like a hobo sounded appealing. I knew it would get a reaction from Sebastian if I did, but then the thought of getting a different rise out of him had me picking something a little more fitting and revealing.
I dressed and pinched my cheeks for color before I opened the door.
“Ready?” Mac asked.
I nodded and grabbed my purse from the kitchen counter.
I hadn’t expected to fall asleep in the back of the car on the way to Clive’s, but as soon as the car began to sway back and forth, I was fast asleep. I woke abruptly when Mac slammed on his brakes at a red light.
Sitting up, I pulled myself together. These days, I could sleep anywhere at any time, but I needed to wake up and be ready. I needed to be on top of my game when I was around Sebastian. I had no idea what he wanted to see me about, but the possibilities had my stomach in knots.
I tried not to let my mind wander too much because if I did, I’d send myself into one of my useless little panic attacks. But once we pulled up to the curb and Mac was opening the door for me, my nerves kicked up and I found myself having trouble breathing. The dizziness that I’d fought so much over the last few weeks was turning it up a notch, and I had to grab the car door before I fell flat on my face.
“You okay?”
I nodded and pushed away from the car and toward the entrance of Clive’s. I turned around before entering, but Mac was already driving off.
Pulling open the heavy door, the music from inside slammed into my chest and sent another wave of dizziness rolling over me. Tiffany, the hostess, greeted me with a sad smile.
“It’s good to see you, Rosslyn.”
“Thank you. You too,” I added. “Is he up in his office?”
“Actually, no. We have some high rollers here tonight, so he’s in the VIP section. He said to send you back when you got here.”
I frowned. “He wants to see me in the VIP section?”
“Yes.” She gave me another sad smile. “Do you want me to walk back with you?”
“No,” I said quickly. I didn’t need her to hold my hand while giving me sympathetic looks. “Thanks.”
The club was crowded and squeezing my way through the sea of people was tiring. The mix of perfume, cologne, body sweat, smoke, and whatever else lingered in the air almost had me running to the nearest bathroom.
When I finally broke free, I took a minute to let the nausea subside. The VIP section was packed and finding Sebastian took longer than I’d expected. But when my eyes finally landed on him, I wanted to turn around and run.
There he sat with women draped all around him as he exchanged laughter with a man I’d never seen before. The man had just as many women surrounding him, but he wasn’t the one I cared about.
Sebastian was.
He wasn’t even aware that I was there, but I didn’t think he would have cared anyway. Something told me he still would have run his fingers up and down the thigh of the woman next to him.
My eyes followed his fingers and bile rose up my throat.
I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t stand there while he touched another woman.
How could he do this to me?
What had I done to deserve this?
“Is there something I can get for you?” one of the staff members working the VIP section asked.
I knew him.
I’d seen him around the club and I was positive he knew who I was by the guilty look on his face.
I jumped as if I’d been caught looking at porn. “I’m here to see Mr. Black. He’s expecting me. Could you please tell him I’m here?”
He nodded and my eyes followed him across the VIP section as he walked over to Sebastian and his group of whores. Sebastian didn’t look too pleased to be interrupted, but when he saw me, his expression changed. For a brief second, I thought maybe he looked guilty for being caught. But as soon as the expression crossed his face, it disappeared.
He leaned over and exchanged words with the man sitting with him before getting up, buttoning his jacket, and making his way toward me. I’d never get used to his stride. The calm, collected way he walked as his body swayed. The way his eyes devoured you even from across the room. I’d loved that about him. Now that he was leaving a group of women and heading my way, I hated it.
“You’re early,” he said with a grin when he reached my side.
I balled up my fist with the desire to punch him and my nails dug into my palm. It stung, but it felt good at the same time since it was taking away the pain in my heart a bit.
“Are you kidding me? Would you like me to apologize for interrupting your orgy?”
He chuckled, the sound soft and inviting. “Come on now, Rosslyn. This is hardly an orgy.” He motioned to the group of women staring over at us. The man he was with was too busy with his tongue down the throat of another woman. “No one is even naked … yet.”
I closed my eyes against the streak of pain that cut through me. The dizziness hit again, and I had to grab the banister to the VIP section to keep me steady. Sebastian’s eyes moved to my fingers, which were turning white since I was gripping the banister too tightly, and his brows pulled down in confusion.
Taking my arm, he pulled me along and out of the VIP section leaving his room of busty whores behind. I would have pulled my arm away, but I was too worried I’d fall over without his assistance.
Once we reached the other end of the bar, I pulled my arm free from his grip. I couldn’t fathom him touching me after he’d been pawing at other women.
As if knowing my thoughts, he shook his head in aggravation. “You were supposed to wait for me outside the VIP section.”
I didn’t care to hear his excuses. “Why am I here, Sebastian? If not for you to flaunt your whores in my face, then why?”
His jaw tightened. “I need to give you something.”
I sighed in aggravation. “You needed to give me something?” I felt the need to repeat what he said word for word because I was obviously missing something.
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you just have Mac bring whatever it is to me?”
“Because I needed to make s
ure you got it.”
“Then why didn’t you just come yourself?” I demanded loudly.
He didn’t answer as he reached under the bar, pulled out a long yellow envelope, and handed it to me. I didn’t grab it right away. I just stared from it to Sebastian.
“What is it?”
“It’s the papers for Jessica’s. You’ll need them for your records.”
“You brought me all the way down here to give me papers for the restaurant?” I asked in disbelief.
“Why else did you think I called you here?” I wanted to slap the look off his face. His expression was angering me. The casual way he was going about breaking me—it was making me hate him.
I didn’t respond—I couldn’t get my voice to work—but Sebastian knew me better than anyone did. He knew exactly why I thought he’d called me there. I’d secretly been hoping it was to fix things. I was hoping he wanted me back. But it was now obvious that was not the case. I felt it in my stomach. I felt it everywhere. Like frostbite nipping at every square inch of my body.
Suddenly, the music was too loud. There were too many people and I beginning to feel claustrophobic.
He shook his head, a grim smile on his thick lips. “You thought I called you because I wanted you.”
Still, my voice refused to work. Instead, I looked away as I blinked to rid the tears forming in my eyes.
“I’ve moved on, Rosslyn,” he said firmly. “Just let me go.”
“I never realized how cruel you are.”
“If being honest makes me a cruel man, then I guess I’m the cruelest. I know you expect me to change my mind about us, but I’m not going to. It’s over, and nothing you can say can change that.” His eyes swept over my body and licked at his bottom lip. “Although, that dress is making me reconsider a few things. What exactly would you be willing to do to keep me, Jessica?”
And without thinking, I struck him clean across the face. My palm stung and I hoped Sebastian’s cheek did, too. The bartenders looked over with wide eyes, and it seemed as the music decided at that exact moment to stop. The room began to spin and breathing suddenly became difficult.
I didn’t know the man standing in front of me. Maybe I never did, but he wasn’t the Sebastian I fell in love with. The person standing before me was cruel and heartless. I wanted nothing to do with him.
“I hate you,” I whispered as I quickly swiped at a tear that had escaped. “You’re right. We’re definitely done.”
And then I walked away.
I felt as if I was going to pass out if I didn’t get outside soon. I needed fresh air. I needed to get out of the room, which suddenly felt way too small.
I burst from the club leaving everything behind. The cool night air touched my heated skin and a batch of goosebumps chased my chill.
My eyes scanned the area around me for any signs of a taxi, but none were available. I was seconds away from walking home when I spotted Mac. He was staring straight at me, and as much as I wanted to ignore him, I wanted to go home even more. Careful not to trip over the curb, I practically ran to the car. I didn’t wait for him to open the door for me. Instead, I pulled the door open and fell in the backseat.
The ride back to the condo was a quiet one, and when we reached my building, I nearly fell out of the car in my haste to get away from him. I didn’t want Mac to see me break, and I knew I was seconds away from cracking.
I didn’t remember using my key on the elevator. I didn’t remember the ride to the top floor. I only remembered bursting into tears the second I was inside and no one could see me. I came undone, collapsing onto the marble floors in a heap of silk and sadness.
A blinking red light on the smoke detector caught my attention. I knew the detectors had warning lights when the batteries got low, but those were usually on the outside, not the inside.
Climbing on the furniture, I was able to reach far enough to pull the cover off. Black wires hung free inside and I pulled on them gently. They came free easily, and it didn’t take me long to realize what I was looking at.
A camera.
Part of me knew Sebastian might have planted cameras around the condo, but until now, I wasn’t positive he had actually done it.
An hour and one destroyed condo later, I was pretty sure I’d found every hidden camera. I’d found more than one camera in each room, and while I was angry, a part of me felt like there was something more to it than Sebastian just being a Peeping Tom.
The number of cameras was excessive, even for Sebastian, and the way Mac had acted this afternoon made me feel like something more was going on.
Looking around at the aftermath of my destruction, I knew I had no energy to even attempt to clean up. After making sure the doors were locked, I turned off the lights and made my way to the bedroom.
Undressing was a necessary chore, and when I was completely naked, I climbed into bed. I had no idea what was going on, but tomorrow, I would put all my energy into finding Mac and getting to the bottom of this. Right now, all I wanted to do was sleep, and I hoped and prayed my dreams wouldn’t be filled with Sebastian and a future that was no longer ours.
WAKING UP EARLY TO CHECK on Rosslyn had become the best part of my day. I’d crawl out of bed before my body was even ready to wake up, and I’d watch her with a smile on my face. I tried to tell myself I wasn’t a pervert, but I felt like one every time I watched her. It was all things I’d seen her do a thousand times before, but it felt wrong now. Before, we shared a home together, but now, she had no idea eyes were on her.
Opening my computer, I pushed the power button and waited for the screen to come to life. Looking around the condo I’d shared with Rosslyn just weeks before, it no longer felt like home. She brought life to the sterile place—laughter and light. Now, it was just white walls and metal furniture. I’d never understood the expression home was where the heart was until Rosslyn came into my life. She held my heart between her delicate fingers, and now that she was gone, home seemed so far away.
When my computer screen lit up, I waited for it to load before clicking on the little camera icon on the corner of the screen. I hadn’t watched her last night. I’d been a complete dick to her, and I felt like she needed her space and privacy.
I knew my Rosslyn, and I knew there would be tears. I couldn’t stomach seeing her sadness, especially knowing I was the cause. But it wasn’t like I had a choice. As long as she pushed to be in my life, I’d let her in. I’d always let her in. If she thought I’d moved on, then maybe she wouldn’t push so hard. It was going to be hell getting her back, but I could only hope she’d understand when I was able to tell her the truth.
Mac had stayed with Rosslyn all night, lurking around her building and watching the elevators until the sun came peeking through the clouds. She was clueless about it, of course, but knowing he was there made it easier for me to stay away from the screen and leave her to her sadness alone.
I ached to see her, especially after our run-in at the club. I hated myself for making her think any woman could warm my bed the way she had. For making her think any woman could become a part of me like she was. So when the security system loaded, my eyes were glued to the screen. I choked on my next breath when the screen in front of me indicated nothing but white noise—fuzzy and distorted snow.
My fingers nearly broke the keyboard on my laptop as I switched through the different camera angles. Each one showed the same thing … nothing. The screens were blank, which meant I couldn’t see anything inside Rosslyn’s condo. My stomach knotted with worry—twisting painfully until I gripped at the pain and dug my fingers into my abs.
Pushing myself away from the table, I flew across the room to my cell phone. I punched in Rosslyn’s number as I headed for the door, grabbing my keys off the counter. The heavy door slammed behind me and echoed all around me. I was slipping into some alternate mindset. One that would keep me moving even though my legs were starting to feel weak.
Leaving the condo, I made my way out the back and in
to the parking garage. Hitting the button on my keyring, the lights on my Jag flashed as I unlocked it. I felt as if I was moving through wet sand. I couldn’t get to my car fast enough—I couldn’t get to Rosslyn.
I silently prayed she would answer as I waited for her to pick up. Two times, three times, I dialed her number over and over again, and each time, there was no answer. When I dialed again, I called Mac’s phone. I waited for his deep voice to answer, but again, the phone continued to ring. I was sweating and my legs were getting weaker with the possibilities of why neither one of them were answering their phones.
Were they in danger?
Hurt?
Dead?
My insides turned out and my skin turned to fire as I ran the last few feet to my car. Sliding inside, the leather squeaked beneath me. The engine roared to life and my tires squealed as I raced through the garage to the street exit.
I pulled up in front of Rosslyn’s building and was out of the door and running through the lobby in no time. I was sure I’d parked in a no parking zone, but at that point, I didn’t give two fucks. I’d probably broken seventy traffic laws just to get to her as soon as I could anyway.
What was one more?
The elevator ride up to the top floor was slow, and I found myself pressing the up bottom repeatedly as if it would make the lift go faster. When the door opened with a loud ding, I stood there in horror as the room came into focus and I realized what I was looking at.
I swallowed hard as I took my first step inside the destroyed condo. Furniture was turned over, stools in the middle of the room and wires hanging from the ceiling where the cameras had been pulled from their hiding places. My eyes moved around the space, taking in the destruction, and my soul felt as if it shifted.
I wanted to call out to Rosslyn, but the thought of hearing nothing in return was too much to bear. I could still have hope that she was perfectly safe if I didn’t say a word. If she were here, she would have heard me come in. The elevator’s ding would have alerted her, but then again, it would have also alerted the intruder if he were still around.
Little Black Box Set (The Black Trilogy) Page 38
