Making my way through the rest of the condo didn’t help the fear that was currently making me nauseous. Wires hung loosely everywhere, and bits of the broken cameras were shattered all over the marble floors. Reaching the bedroom and realizing it was in the same condition nearly brought me to my knees. The bed was unmade and looked like it had been slept in, but that still didn’t help curb the sickness and guilt swimming around in my gut.
And then I heard it.
The shower was running from inside the master bathroom. Part of me was afraid to go inside and look, but I knew I had to. I steeled my spine as I made my way across the room toward the running water. The room was foggy with thick, hot steam. It was next to impossible to see, but I made my way toward the glass door, my shoes sliding across the slick marble the entire way.
What little hope I had left that Rosslyn was inside the shower fled when I pulled open the door and found it empty. The streams of hot water bounced off the expensive tile before emptying down the drain.
She really wasn’t there, and I had no idea where she was or who she was with. I didn’t know if she was dead or alive. If she was in pain and begging me to save her. She was gone, and at that moment, the panic inside me overflowed and left my body shaking.
I’d failed her. I’d failed to keep her safe. She needed me, and I couldn’t even protect her.
What kind of man was I?
What kind of person failed to protect the woman he loved?
I stiffened at the familiar sound of a gun cocking behind me. I realized too late that I wasn’t alone in the bathroom, and the possibility of grabbing my own gun without being shot in the back left me the odd man out.
The air around me thickened even more as I struggled to take in the balmy oxygen. My chest was tight with anxiety and my knees were locked in preparation for the shock and heat of a gunshot.
Closing my eyes, I remembered the way it felt to be shot. The heat—as if a fire had been set in my chest. It spread, sucking away all the oxygen in my body and leaving my body weightless as I fell to the floor. It was about to happen again, except this time it would be in the back by a coward who didn’t have the balls to look me in the face when he took my life.
A life for a life.
The words from each letter I received bounced through my brain like hot knives. I didn’t speak. There was no need for words. If the person behind me had taken Rosslyn’s life, then they might as well take mine, too. If she was gone, I was gone. No life without her was worth living. She was the very breath I breathed, the force behind every beat of my heart.
I couldn’t speak—the words were stuck to my tongue, glued to the back of my throat. I choked on them as they slid back down and lodged in my chest. The adrenaline was pumping furiously through my body, pumping like a freight train, until I couldn’t take it anymore.
I spun around.
I had to fight. There was still a chance Rosslyn was alive and well, and if that were the case, she needed me to go down fighting. Ducking, I swiped blindly toward the hand with the gun aimed at me. There was a soft grunt, and the sound of metal against the marble echoed through the space as the gun went sliding across the floor.
Knowing he was disarmed, I moved fast. With the steam filling the bathroom with thick clouds, I couldn’t see him, but I was able to get my hands on him before he had time to react. He was small and clumsy—unskilled—and I was able to get the upper hand.
“Who the hell are you and where the fuck is Rosslyn?” I growled.
My fingers closed tightly around his small neck—a neck that I could have easily broken with my bare hands—and I brought his face into full view.
My breath was knocked from my body, and I choked on the exhale when relief flowed through my veins, replacing the adrenaline with ease. My eyes skimmed over the delicate features I loved.
“Sebastian,” Rosslyn choked on a sob as her fingers dug desperately into my wrist.
Her nails cut into my flesh—my blood rushing to the surface in half moon shapes—as she attempted to loosen my hold around her neck.
“Please let go,” she begged in a broken whisper.
It was then that I realized what I was doing.
I dropped my hands from her body, and she collapsed against the counter behind her in a spasm of coughs. Turning, she leaned over the sink as she struggled to drag in much-needed air.
I was paralyzed. I couldn’t even move to help her as I tried to wrap my mind around what I’d just done. My eyes were glued to her—her life—the flushed pink of her skin. She was alive, but I’d almost killed her myself. I’d almost stolen her precious life with my own two hands.
How did this situation get so fucked up?
So fucked up that I’d almost been the one to steal Rosslyn from myself. The same thing I’d been fighting against for weeks.
When she was finally able to breathe, she looked up and her eyes met mine in the bathroom mirror. Her expression was unreadable—broken and shuttered. She turned around and moved to go around me, but I stopped her. My hand wrapped around her slender arm, and she flinched as if I were about to hurt her. It was a kick to the balls.
“Where are you going?”
Her voice was rough and husky as she tried to form the words. “To turn off the shower.”
I moved before she could and found the knobs, turning them until the water came to a stop. When I turned around, I was well aware that Rosslyn had put distance between us. She was hugging herself tightly, and for the first time, I was actually seeing her.
She wore a long t-shirt, but her legs and feet were bare. Her hair was wet and plastered to the side of her cheek and parts of her shirt were also wet, sticking to her body and showing her curvaceous figure.
“You were in the shower?”
She nodded. “I was. I got out to get more body wash and I heard the elevator ding. I didn’t know it was you. I got scared so I hid in the closet. My gun was there, so I got it out and waited.”
At the mention of the gun, my eyes dropped to the floor where it laid—pink and dainty against the cold marble. The room had begun to clear and nothing looked the way it had minutes ago. Everything was clear and obvious.
“I didn’t …” I tried to explain my reason for attacking her, but I couldn’t seem to form the words. “I couldn’t see you … I tried calling, but you didn’t answer … the condo was destroyed … I thought they took you … I heard the shower and I thought maybe … I thought you were one of them.” My explanation came out broken and incomprehensible. “I didn’t realize until it was too late.”
“What are you talking about, Sebastian? Who is they? What’s going on? Why are you doing this to me?”
Her expression crumpled, and I watched her breakdown before me. Tears rushed down her cheeks, her sad eyes stripping me bare. She covered her face with her hands before pushing them into her hair and tugging.
“What did I do to deserve this? Tell me. I need to know so I can understand,” she sobbed. “It hurts so bad. You’re …” Her voice caught. “You’re killing me.”
I could feel myself giving in to her the way I always had. And since it was obvious that I was doing a terrible job at protecting her when she was away from me, I let go.
This wasn’t working. I was making us both crazy. She needed to be with me if this was going to work. Regardless of what the letters said, Rosslyn was safer with me.
My feet moved on their own and I rushed toward her. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I couldn’t shake the realization that I’d almost killed the woman I loved more than anything. I was losing it without her—putting her in danger of me, as well.
My body collided with hers and relief moved through me feeling her so close to me. I pinned her to the wall, her damp body molding against mine.
“No.” She pushed against me, turning her head away. “No more, Sebastian, this is done. We’re done. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t.”
I swallowed against the pain her words caused. “Never. We’re nev
er done. You’re mine. Forever.”
Her eyes flashed my way—determination and pain swirling in their depths.
“What is this? What are you doing? I’m so confused.”
I lifted my hands and cupped her warm cheeks, and once again, she flinched sending fire and shame through my center.
“I would never hurt you, Rosslyn. Never,” I stated adamantly. “I was out of my mind. I thought someone had hurt you. I didn’t realize you were behind me. I just knew someone was in your condo and that person had a gun to my back.”
My lips touched hers, and I growled in both pleasure and unbearable pain. I let them linger all around her face, leaving nothing untouched. Still, her body remained stiff against me, not letting me in, and I knew I’d spend the rest of my life making up for my stupidity. Already, I owed her so much. I was just adding to the list of things I had to make better.
“I’m so sorry, Rosslyn. I’m so sorry for everything.”
I pleaded for her forgiveness. I needed her to forgive me for being such an ignorant ass. I’d put her through so much over the last few weeks, all in an attempt to keep her safe. I’d been so caught up in the idea of someone hurting her if I didn’t push her away, that I’d hurt her myself. Actually, I’d nearly choked the life out of her.
I was sure I’d destroyed everything I’d built with her over the years.
The trust.
The love.
It had taken so much to bring something so wonderful into my life. It had taken me so long to feel like I was worthy enough for her, but now, I was sure I’d lost her in my attempt to keep her.
This was their plan all along. I’d let the douchebag manipulate me into destroying the only good thing in my life—my relationship with Rosslyn and her love for me.
Tears slid down her cheeks, and I captured them with my thumb. “I don’t understand what’s going on. Why won’t you let me in?”
“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. It’s all my fucking fault, Rosslyn.”
And then I folded.
I broke in her arms and ripped myself bare for her. I couldn’t hold back any longer. I pulled her soft body to mine, lost my fingers in her wet hair, and I kissed her like I’d never kissed her before.
IT DIDN’T MATTER HOW LONG I knew him; I’d never understand Sebastian Black. Maybe that was the appeal—never getting inside his mind and never truly being able to reach him.
Untouchable.
Unreadable.
And totally everything I could ever want for the rest of my life.
Except, I couldn’t forget the things he’d said to me over the last few weeks. The way he’d touched the women at the club the night before. So much had happened. So when he kissed me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to kiss him back. I wasn’t sure I could let him continue to do this to me—to push me away only to pull me back like a yo-yo on a very short string.
But against my better judgment, I kissed him back. A moan slipped between my lips and onto his tongue, and he answered with a sexy growl.
He was crazed, out of control, as his hands moved over my body. Grabbing. Pulling. Taking control of me completely. And it felt amazing. My body had been begging for him for weeks. My mind needing some kind of connection with him.
“Never again,” he muttered against my lips. “You’re never leaving my side again.”
He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he moved us from the bathroom and into my bedroom. He was peeling my damp shirt from my body before he laid me down.
“I need to be inside you,” he said, laying me down and pulling back to rip his shirt over his head. “Fuck. I need you so much, Rosslyn. Always. I’ll always need you.”
He leaned over me, his mouth latching onto my sensitive nipple and making me gasp from the pleasure. My fingers shifted through his dark hair, holding him to my body as he softly sucked.
“But you said …” I started, losing my breath as he switched from one breast to the other.
“Fuck what I said,” he growled against my flaming skin.
He moved down my body, nipping at my flesh with his teeth and sending sharp pains of pleasure through my system. He moved fast—hard—knowing exactly what he wanted as he licked around my belly button.
Self-conscious of the tiny bit of rounding starting on my stomach, I pulled at his shoulders until he moved up my body and his lips were on mine. My fingers tackled the button of his pants between us, and when I finally got them unbuttoned, I began to push them down his hips. He helped, shoving them down and pressing his throbbing hardness against my center.
“I can’t … I can’t take it anymore, Sebastian. Please,” I begged.
“Tell me what you want. Anything you want, baby, it’s yours.”
My hips lifted from the bed, begging on their own for his intrusion. My eyes locked with his and I nibbled my bottom lip to control the urge to whine. Moving his hand between us, he palmed his cock, gripping it hard and pumping a few times.
“Is this what you want?”
I nodded. “Yes. Now. Please.”
“Fuck, I love it when you beg for my cock.”
He moved between my legs, leaning back to get an eyeful of my body as he pushed my thighs apart and thrust into me. Relief filled me and from his expression and the way his mouth fell open, he was feeling relief as well.
His body moved fast, filling me repeatedly and sending the sounds of our bodies coming together into sweet echoes around the room. I gripped his ass, pulling him to me—deeper—harder. My body tightened around him as pleasure melted into my inner walls and up into my thighs.
“Yes. Don’t stop, Sebastian. I’m going to …”
I came so hard I screamed. My head dug into the mattress and my toes curled from the pleasure. He felt so good—in me—all around me. And as he continued to pump his body into mine relentlessly, he pulled me from the brink of my amazing orgasm before sending me over the edge once more.
I came for him—only him—and he loved every second of it. His eyes scanned my face, taking in my expression as I broke for him.
“That’s it, baby. Feel it. It feels so fucking good.” His body covered mine as his arms went loose on the sides of my head. He rested his elbows on the mattress while his hips took over all the work. Our stomachs glided together, our sweat making the slide easy.
His eyes closed, and he whispered sweet words of apology and love as he took me completely. He buried his face into my neck, his hot breath sending chills down my chest and arms.
“I’m going to come. So deep. So fucking deep.”
His body stiffened and he paused as he unloaded, filling me so completely that I could feel the warmth of it.
I held him as his body shook with his release, and when his body finally relaxed, I enjoyed the pressure of him on top of me. Letting my fingertips linger up and down his spine, I took the moment in, stamping my memory with all things Sebastian and the way I loved him.
Afterward, we held each other. Words weren’t important, actions were, and the way he held me as if his life depended on it said so much.
He chuckled.
“What’s funny?” I asked.
“Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. Tell me what you’re thinking, Sebastian.”
Kissing me softly on my forehead, he let his warm lips linger at my hairline. “I was just thinking about how much I love all your pretty new curves. Working at the restaurant looks good on you. Ricky must be feeding you well.”
I sat up quickly, my eyes locking with his as my feelings deflated from his words.
“You think I look fat.”
I felt tears sting my eyes. My feelings were hurt. I was beyond sick and tired of being so sensitive and hormonal.
Cupping my cheeks with his palms, he frowned. “Of course not. I think you’re perfect. You’re fucking beautiful and you know it.” Kissing me sweetly on the lips, he pulled back with a soft smile.
And at that moment, I knew. I just knew. I couldn’t keep it from him anym
ore. I wanted him to know about the baby. It was only fair. He was the father, and even if things didn’t work out—even if we decided to really call it quits—I knew Sebastian would be an amazing dad.
“I need to tell you something.” The words felt thick against my tongue.
Sensing my seriousness, he sat up and propped himself against the headboard of the bed.
“What’s wrong, Rosslyn?”
“Don’t freak out, okay?”
His expression dropped. His lips pulling tight with worry. “Tell me. Whatever it is, we’ll work through it together. I won’t leave your side again. I promise.”
I nodded, understanding that it was safe to say the words I had yet to say out loud.
“I’m pregnant.”
HER WORDS BOUNCED AROUND MY brain briefly before hitting the sensors that made me understand. Everything ceased. The moment stopped completely. Surely, I’d heard her wrong.
“What did you just say?”
She chewed her bottom lip, obviously nervous. I looked down, taking in her body and the new round curves she’d acquired over the last few weeks.
“Um … I’m going to have a baby? I’m not really sure how else to say it.”
Still, her words only chipped away at my foggy brain. Two words played on repeat shocking me with each pass through my mind.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Pregnant.
Baby.
Rosslyn was pregnant with my child. The woman in front of me was full of my child. It was growing inside of her—tiny and needing someone to care for it. Needing her to stay safe and healthy so it could stay safe and healthy.
I was going to be a father. I’d never had a father. The closest thing I’d ever had to a parent was Clive.
What did fathers do?
Could I be a father?
Would I be a good father?
Father.
Father.
I was going to be someone’s father.
Rosslyn reached up and cupped my cheeks, her warm skin knocking me back into the moment.
“Breathe, Sebastian,” she said, her beautiful face coming in clearly. “Are you okay? You’re so pale.”
Little Black Box Set (The Black Trilogy) Page 39
