An Alaskan Christmas

by Jennifer Snow

  “So, you just decided to open your own business?” That took courage.

  Cassie nodded. “I was working for an adventure tour company in Girdwood and I decided why not start my own?” she continued.

  Erika could have talked herself out of taking such a big leap of faith with a dozen different “why nots.” But her friend’s ambition and belief in herself was something she’d always admired and slightly envied. Cassie didn’t need the same reassurance from others that Erika did. “This is none of my business, but the money from your mom was enough to open up shop in Wild River?” She didn’t know much about Wild River real estate, but a storefront on Main Street couldn’t be cheap. Rent alone on these buildings could cause a new venture to struggle.

  “It was when Reed gave me his half,” Cassie said, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

  Erika’s eyes widened. “That was nice of him.” Really nice. Admirable. Respectable. Had her questioning what she thought she knew about him and regretting every bad thought she might have ever had. The siblings had always been close, but this went above and beyond. She ignored the tug at her heartstrings.

  “That’s my brother. He’s always had a protective nature. It’s what makes him so great with the search and rescue team. Always putting others first.”

  Erika had always envied Cassie and Reed’s relationship. An only child, she’d longed for a sibling. Cassie’s family had been the next best thing, and despite not particularly liking her, Reed had kinda assumed a protective role over her whenever she spent time with the family.

  “I think he felt it was his job to be the man of the house after Dad disappeared,” Cassie said, her expression changing slightly as she mentioned her dad.

  One day, Cassie’s father had gone to work with a logging company in the forest and hadn’t returned. It was just months before Erika’s own mom died. Losing a parent had only bonded her and Cassie even more. It was a tough time in both of their lives, but they’d helped one another through it. Their friendship was the only thing Erika had to depend on back then. With her father withdrawing, she’d felt alone. Cassie had been there.

  “Anyway, I still feel bad about taking the money from Reed. He’d been saving to go to university, but as soon as I mentioned the business idea, he handed me a check. I’ve tried repaying him, but he won’t hear of it. Man, he’s so pigheaded sometimes,” Cassie said, but affection for her brother was the only thing Erika heard in her voice.

  “What was he planning to study?” Not that it mattered, if he was putting that goal permanently on hold, but she was so curious about him. In two days, she’d gotten to see various sides to him and it only left her wanting to learn more.

  “He wanted to be an EMT...possibly a nurse. He’s smart enough for med school, but he doesn’t believe that.”

  Or maybe he just knew the cost of that degree was something he’d struggle to afford. Growing up, Erika had never had the financial worries that her friend did. And it sucked that it might have been what prevented Reed from following a passion. Obviously, with his original plans sidelined, he was doing the next best thing here in Wild River.

  “Anyway, once he started volunteering on the S & R team, there was no dragging him away. He’s one of their best. I, for one, feel better knowing he’s out there.”

  Erika, too. There was no doubt in her mind that if she was in trouble, he’d find a way to help her. She swallowed hard—the damsel in distress, needing to be rescued feeling was one she rarely entertained. She was strong, independent and didn’t rely on men for anything, yet the idea of Reed being equally as strong and independent was sexy. “Are there many rescues during the year?”

  Cassie nodded. “The team responds to an average of three hundred a year. Ski patrol requiring assistance, like yesterday, happens a few times a week. Missing hikers, who’ve gotten turned around or followed the wrong trail, are common but longer searches are rare.”

  “Hardly a dull moment around here, huh?”

  “We keep busy and the adrenaline fuels us, binds us all together. Living here, you come to see everyone as family. We look out for one another. You must remember that,” Cassie said, reaching for more fudge.

  Reed had expressed something similar the night before and Erika felt an odd sense of longing for that kind of community. After her mother died, Cassie’s family had been the closest thing to a support system she’d had—her father burying himself in work to dull the pain. After graduation, Erika had followed her father’s footsteps, throwing herself into her studies, then work. She’d traded friendships and connections for long hours and getting ahead in her career.

  And she’d been okay with that. Until she was suddenly faced with an up-close look at the other things in life she’d never thought she’d needed.

  Cassie’s cell buzzed with a new message and she read it quickly. The dreamlike expression in her eyes made Erika suspect it was from Tank.

  She was right.

  “Tank. Thanking me again for hanging out with Kaia last night.” She replied to the text quickly, then tucked the phone under her leg on the couch.

  “So, what’s the deal with you two?” Obviously Cassie had feelings, but did Tank see her as just a babysitter and someone he could count on? Or was there more to the relationship?

  “Wouldn’t I love to know?” Cassie said, popping a handful of popcorn into her mouth and chewing furiously. “There’s attraction there and we are best friends, and I love Kaia...” She shrugged. “It’s complicated.”

  “The situation or Tank?” Erika had only seen the guy briefly, twice. He seemed nice enough in a quiet, mysterious sort of way and she wondered if Cassie had yet to solve his mystery.

  “Both. Kaia’s mom left them when she was a baby. Kaia doesn’t remember her and Tank straight-out refuses to talk about her. No one has a clue who she is or where she is or what the circumstances are. And we all respect Tank’s privacy enough not to ask.” She sighed. “He’s very...cautious about bringing someone else into their lives.”

  Fair enough, but it sounded like Cassie was already ingrained in the family’s life. Babysitting his daughter overnight meant Tank obviously trusted Cassie, and that was a huge thing in relationships. They already had a solid foundation of friendship, so giving in to the romance developing between them would only be a good thing. “But if the mom’s not in the picture, how could moving on with a new relationship be bad? Tank deserves to be happy, so does Kaia...and so do you.”

  Cassie nodded with a sigh. “We’re making progress, I think,” she said, scooping up a passed-out Diva and carrying her to her doggy bed.

  The puppy flopped onto her back, all four paws straight up in the air, snoring loudly for such a little thing. “It’s really unsettling how she just passes out like that,” Erika said, watching her friend cover the dog with her pink blanket.

  “Yeah, it was trippy at first. But the vet says she’s fine and she might grow out of it.” She sat on the couch next to her. “Anyway, enough about my sad, nonexistent love life. What about you? Anyone you’re pining away for back in Anchorage?”

  An image of Reed flashed in her mind and her cheeks flushed, giving her friend the wrong idea.

  “There is, isn’t there? Who is he? Dish.” She turned on the couch, moving closer to hear the scoop.

  But there wasn’t one. Erika shook her head. “Unfortunately, mine is even sadder and even more nonexistent.” Unfortunately? Where had that come from? She wasn’t missing a relationship, was she? She liked her life alone—her own space, her own independence, sole control of the television remote...

  “Oh come on. You’re gorgeous, successful and smart. There’s no way men aren’t interested.”

  “Truthfully, I wouldn’t have time to notice if they were. Work is all I do.” And the other doctors at the hospital were too much like her, too much like her father, to evoke any feelings of attraction. She’d dated several
after med school, but there wasn’t a connection worth pursuing. Her time was better spent in the lab. Science made sense. Love didn’t.

  Cassie frowned. “But you date...sometimes, right?”

  She wished she could remember the last time she’d been on a date, just to give her friend the impression that she wasn’t a complete loner. “Not lately. I mean I’m not still a virgin if that’s what you’re thinking.” She laughed. “I’ve dated in the past. I even had one semi-serious relationship while I was still in premed, but once I graduated and started working at the hospital with my dad, I was too busy. Brian...the guy I was seeing...said he didn’t want a part-time girlfriend.” She shrugged. She hadn’t been able to argue with him or promise to change. Her career was her passion and she’d yet to meet a man to challenge that. He’d been a nice guy—solid and kind, pursuing a law career—but there hadn’t been a spark. No butterflies. No passion.

  Damn, why did Reed keep popping into her mind!

  “How’s that relationship?” Cassie asked.

  “With my dad?”

  Cassie nodded, sipping her wine.

  Erika’s chest tightened. Such a loaded question. One she had no idea the answer to. They got along fine, they worked well together. But it hadn’t been the same father-daughter relationship they’d once had in a long time. “Complicated in a different way.”

  “Still struggling for his approval?”

  Her friend’s “getting it” without her having to say anything proved that despite time and distance, Cassie was still the one person who truly did “get” her. She should have made this visit sooner. She wouldn’t allow ten more years to pass without another one. “Yes. But you know, I’m not sure it’s even attainable,” she said.

  “Why does it matter so much? I get it when you were a kid, but now you’re a success. And you’re happy, aren’t you?”

  She paused. “There’s different definitions of happy, right? I mean, I’m not unhappy...or at least I stay busy enough that I wouldn’t notice if I were.” Staying busy seemed to keep a lot of hidden wolves at bay. She didn’t like that they all seemed to be closing in now that she wasn’t keeping up her usual frantic pace. And her honest vulnerability in that moment made her slightly uncomfortable. Few people got to see this side of her.

  “Your mom would be proud,” Cassie said. “And she’d be thrilled that you’re working with your dad on that new clinical drug.”

  Erika frowned. She hadn’t mentioned anything about that to her friend. “How did you know about that?”

  Cassie grinned. “We may not have kept in touch much, but I’ve been silently stalking you on social media.”

  Erika shook her head. “I haven’t posted anything to social media since 2005.”

  Cassie laughed, raising her hands in defeat. “Fine. Reed told me when I stopped by the station to have lunch with him today.”

  Okay, that was unexpected. He’d obviously been paying attention to her conversation with Dr. Smyth. But then he’d also talked to Cassie about her? “What did he say?”

  “Not much, just that Dr. Smyth at the community hospital was very complimentary to you and said this new antirejection drug might be a medical breakthrough.”

  “Dr. Smyth has always been supportive of my career and my dad’s.” It was too bad her father didn’t think it was important enough to stay in touch.

  “Anyway, Reed was impressed.”

  She scoffed, but her heart missed a beat. His approval obviously meant something to her.

  “No, really—he was. And even though he acted like a jerk after the other day on the mountain, he said you were really great at helping that injured skier.”

  “Well, snapping bones back into place is my thing,” she said with a light laugh. Reed had told his sister she’d done a great job? He was talking about her? Did that mean he was thinking about her as well? The idea that he might not have been kidding the night before in the bar made her stomach queasy. Or was it just too much peppermint fudge? She prayed it was the latter. No entertaining thoughts of her and her best friend’s brother.

  “Let’s not lose contact this time when you return to your life, okay?” Cassie said, extending her wine bottle in toast.

  Erika clinked hers against it with a nod, unable to verbalize the promise. Despite all her best intentions, she knew herself, and the vow had a good chance of getting broken.

  * * *

  REED LOCKED UP the bar after midnight. Main Street was nearly empty as he walked to his truck. Except for a few tourists taking pictures near the ten-foot Christmas tree at town hall, all was silent. It was one of his favorite times of day. Late at night, Main Street was a ghost town, the snow falling in the illumination of the streetlights the only movement. Usually it was alive with holiday shoppers, festive music playing on the storefronts’ outdoor speakers, so the stillness normally calmed him. But tonight, he was restless.

  And he knew the cause. Erika.

  He’d hoped she would come into the bar that evening so they could have a normal, nonsexually charged exchange—just one that might help to ease the dull throbbing in his pants that she stirred with her offensive obliviousness. If they could move into a friendlier, platonic territory, then maybe the sparks flying between them would sizzle out. His goal was to be polite, nonargumentative and as distant as possible the next time he saw her. No more interfering with whatever she and Tyler could possibly have going...and just mind his own business.

  But she hadn’t come in.

  Driving past his sister’s place, he saw the lights in her condo still on. They were still awake. He could stop by...

  For what?

  He kept driving and arrived at his own apartment a few minutes later. Going inside, he tossed his keys onto the entrance table and his coat over the back of his old, worn recliner in the living room—it had once belonged to his father and despite the man disappearing years before, Reed had been unable to blame the chair. It was comfortable. He’d needed furniture when he’d first moved out on his own, so he’d kept it.

  Sitting at his desk, he opened his laptop and navigated to the Alaska Search and Rescue Board website, scrolling through the list of outback S & R organizations. That week’s rescues and mission reports were slightly longer than usual—typical of this time of year when tourists and less experienced skiers and hikers flocked to the mountains. He quickly scanned the ones near Wild River, Willow Lake and surrounding areas, but as usual didn’t find what he was looking for.

  Shutting down the website, he sat back in the chair and sighed. It was fifteen years ago. He had to let it go. Let him go.

  If only he could understand what had happened to his father. So many times he’d replayed that day in his mind, but he couldn’t find that clue, that missing piece, that indication that something was off.

  His father had been leaving for work before dawn, heading to Whitestone Logging Camp where he’d spend two weeks on duty before heading home again for a week. He’d come into Reed’s bedroom to say goodbye. He’d seemed to be in a good mood. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Reed had been half-awake and had mumbled a few words before going back to sleep.

  Now, he wished he’d woken up. Spent those last few minutes with his dad...

  They hadn’t known something was wrong until their father’s boss called the house looking for him two days later. He hadn’t shown up for work the morning he’d left.

  And he’d never come home.

  Where he’d gone and why—all remained a mystery.

  Still, Reed searched for a ghost, reviewing the Search and Rescue Board site every day, hoping that one day his father’s name would pop up on the list. Found. Safe was too much to hope for by now, but something to give them all closure was what he was really searching for.

  He stretched his legs out under the desk and laced his fingers behind his head, staring at the computer screen. Then, leaning f
orward, he typed Erika’s name into the search engine and waited for the information to load.

  Pictures of her in her lab coat appeared among articles about the new clinical trials she’d mentioned were starting in a few weeks. He read quickly, growing more and more impressed with each word. A new antirejection drug they were testing that would be as effective as the ones currently on the market, yet wouldn’t do as much damage to the patient’s immune system.

  Her mother had died from a failed kidney transplant, so it didn’t take a genius to figure out the motivation behind this particular research.

  He leaned closer to the screen and studied the picture of her, obviously taken just after graduating med school. She was smiling, but the upturned lips couldn’t hide the absence of happiness he saw reflecting in her mesmerizing dark eyes.

  She looked beautiful, but cold. Not at all like the woman he’d caught tiny glimpses of in the last few days. Relaxed, confident, open and happy. The doctor in this picture looked nothing like the one in the too-tight ski suit, commanding the situation and not afraid to get her hands dirty.

  “So, who are you really, Erika Sheraton?”

  Just the fact that he wanted to find out should be enough to make him stay away.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “CASSIE, WHAT IS THIS?” Erika asked, picking up a green plastic tube that had fallen out of her friend’s overstuffed backpack as they descended the back stairs the next morning.

  Cassie turned. “Oh, that’s a Shewee. Thanks,” she said. Taking it and opening a side pocket, she tucked it inside.

  “A She-what?” Erika shivered as a blast of morning mountain air blew her hair into her face. Struggling under the weight of Cassie’s thick sleeping bag and tent, she stopped near the Snow Trek van.

  “It’s a portable toilet. That tube will help me pee into the bowl without having to go outside of the tent at night or remove all my warm clothing on hikes.”