An Alaskan Christmas

by Jennifer Snow

  Tank looked uncomfortable as he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  The two of them stared at each other with unconcealed affection.

  “I’m going to take Diva for a walk,” Erika said, grabbing the leash and hurrying outside. Talk about sexual tension thick enough to cut with a knife. It was too bad that her friend wasn’t more preoccupied with a relationship of her own—then she’d feel a lot less guilty about her desire to spend the next seven days with Reed.

  They could all hang out together... But then what happened at the end of the evening? Would Cassie be pissed if she spent the nights having sleepovers with her brother? Now that she’d broken her foot, she could probably use Erika’s help a little more—walking Diva, helping her get up and down the stairs...

  Securing Diva’s leash, she zipped her coat higher as they headed right on Main Street.

  Despite her exhaustion, the cool early morning air felt refreshing. She forced several deep breaths, replaying the events of the day before in her mind. Most of the rescue was a blur. She knew she’d done the right thing and she was glad she’d been there, but looking back on her actions, they surprised her. Not her emergency actions on the mountain as much as how she’d reacted at the hospital. For the first time, accepting thanks from a family member and checking on her patient hadn’t made her feel uncomfortable. Giving them the reassurance that he was going to be okay had made her feel almost as good as saving his life had. The doctors had all congratulated her and thanked her for her quick thinking and clean work and she’d been there when they’d taken Tom in for spinal surgery that morning.

  Dr. Smyth had said he was going to be okay. His recovery might take a while but he was alive and would be home with his family for Christmas.

  She’d still requested a call from Dr. Smyth once Tom was out and in recovery. Leaving the hospital that morning had been tough. Getting close to a patient and his family was new to her. But she’d seen the value in it the night before. Her ability to comfort his wife had seemed to make all the difference for the woman.

  Late morning cast a warm glow over the quiet village. The stores weren’t open yet and the lights from the streetlamps flickered off one by one as she walked along the street. Diva stopped to pee once and seemed eager to return to Cassie’s, tugging the leash back in that direction after only a few blocks.

  “You missed her, huh?” she asked the dog.

  Diva wagged her tail in response.

  “Fine. We will go back...but if we interrupt something, it’s your fault,” she told the dog.

  Great. Now even she was talking to the animal. A cute, adorable animal that she’d actually started to get used to. Liked, even.

  Maybe she should get a dog. Something to keep her company. Someone to look forward to seeing after a long day...

  She sighed, knowing she could never do it.

  It wouldn’t be fair to the dog.

  She brushed away a feeling of unease as she reached the bakery. The smell of baked bread wafted through the air, making her stomach rumble. The Open sign lit up a second later and she contemplated going inside. Various breakfast pastries in the window made her mouth water. None of them had eaten in almost twenty-four hours and she could deliver breakfast muffins to the crew at the station, as well. She was desperate to see Reed. He’d been reluctant to leave her at the hospital that morning, too.

  No dogs allowed.

  “Sorry, Diva, you’ll have to wait here. I’ll just be a second.” As she wrapped the dog’s leash around a pole, her cell phone rang in her pocket.

  The hospital.

  Alaska General Hospital. Not the one she’d been expecting a call from.

  “Dr. Sheraton speaking,” she answered.

  “What the hell were you thinking?”

  She winced, her appetite vanishing. Obviously her father had heard about the emergency tracheotomy. She released a deep breath. “The man would have died.”

  “He could sue you.”

  “The patient and his wife both signed a release form at the hospital, releasing me of any responsibility for any problems that might occur. They started an anti-infection IV the moment we arrived and the other doctors said the incision looked clean when Tom was rolled into surgery this morning.”

  “Tom?” His disapproval was evident.

  Instant headache. Stress that had taken nearly ten days to dissolve was back in her shoulders and neck as she explained her actions to her father. “The fall through the snow crushed his C2 and C3. The man was suffocating. There was no time or any other choice. Besides, Dr. Smyth and his team are taking good care of him at Wild River Community. He’s in surgery now.”

  “You spoke to Dr. Smyth?”

  “Yes.”

  “And you stayed until the patient went into surgery?”

  “Yes.” Was all this a crime?

  No, just out of character for her.

  Diva tugged the leash as the cross light on the corner a block away turned to Walk.

  The dog was desperate to get back to Cassie, and Erika was no longer tempted by the aroma coming from the bakery. Her father’s tone had her stomach turning for a different reason. She unwrapped the leash from the pole and continued walking, listening to her father rant on and on about liability and risk...

  She knew all of that. In the moment, she’d had to make the split-second decision about saving the man. She’d made her decision and it had saved his life. “Dad, it’s a different environment up here. You know that. Decisions need to be made quickly.” The space behind her eyes throbbed.

  “Not by you. You are on vacation. What are you doing, running around the woods playing forest ranger, anyway?”

  “It’s mountain search and rescue,” she said tightly. How easily her father dismissed something he knew absolutely nothing about. She had read recently that new medical students were actually being trained in these wilderness settings—it helped them improve their quick thinking and adaptability skills. Obviously her father hadn’t read the updates...or cared.

  “It’s not your responsibility or your problem. You were supposed to be at a spa or shopping or anything else. Relaxing, getting your head back in the game.”

  Obviously, her head was in the game—the situation the night before only proved it—but arguing with him had never paid off. He’d always encouraged her to stand up for herself...just not against him or his authority.

  Was he reprimanding her now as her father or her boss? “Yes, sir.”

  He didn’t hang up and she sensed there was more, so she waited, oblivious to the cold wind whipping her hair against her face. Her anger and deep disappointment keeping her warm. A memory of Dr. Smyth’s friendly, reassuring, impressed attitude the night before making her chest hurt. Why couldn’t her father feel that way? Offer that kind of praise and understanding just once? No doubt Dr. Smyth had expected her father to react differently about this as well—she was certain he was the one who had reached out to tell him. She should have warned him that her father was different now.

  “Dr. Smyth said they’re looking for a new surgeon at Wild River Community,” he said a long moment later. She’d guessed right. Dr. Smyth had taken this opportunity to reconnect with her dad.

  “I assumed they’d be replacing him on staff once he retires.”

  “Are you considering the position?” His voice was ice-cold, as though he thought he knew the answer and was disapproving already.

  He obviously didn’t know her at all. Her dedication and commitment to him and the hospital and their research should have told him the answer. “No. I’m not.” The sinking in the pit of her stomach was nothing. She hadn’t considered the opening at all. Alaska General Hospital was where she belonged. This sudden uneasiness had to be just the turmoil of the last thirty hours, lack of sleep and food and the realization that soon, she was returning
to her life in Anchorage.

  “Good.”

  Was it?

  “Also, I’ve gotten your suspension lifted.”

  Suspension? “I thought this was a vacation.”

  “Same thing. You can come back tomorrow,” he said.

  What? The heaviness in her chest was for one reason only—Reed. The thought of leaving him earlier than planned made her throat constrict. “But I was planning to stay here for another week.” She needed that time. Things were still a little awkward between her and Reed, and she desperately needed to talk to Cassie. She couldn’t go home yet.

  Diva stopped as they reached the other side of the street and instantly fell over...asleep.

  “I need you here on Monday to go over preliminaries for the clinical trials,” her father said.

  Now he was including her.

  “You’ll be here?”

  Was it really a question? “Yes. Of course.”

  A dial tone on his end indicated the end of the conversation.

  Tucking her phone away, she picked up the dog and cradled her in her coat as she turned back toward Cassie’s condo to pack her things and say her goodbyes.

  * * *

  REED SUPPRESSED A YAWN, struggling to keep his eyes open as he filed the last of the debriefing paperwork at the station. This one had taken forever. The search had been lengthy and complicated, with a lot of people involved and serious injuries. He’d needed hospital reports and statements from all the crew members. Cassie’s other tour guide, Mike, had taken care of notifying family members of the corporate executives and filling out the required claims for Snow Trek Tours.

  The words in front of him started to blur. He hadn’t been getting much rest lately...even between rescue missions.

  Though he was hardly complaining about the lack of sleep.

  Reed checked his watch. After 10:00 a.m. His plan was to catch a quick nap, shower and then head to his sister’s place. Tank had texted to say her foot was casted and she’d been released that morning.

  Erika had surprised him by wanting to stay until Tom was in surgery. Her support for him and his wife felt like a breakthrough. Her time back in Wild River had certainly changed her. Or maybe it just brought out the real Erika. One she didn’t feel she could be in her normal, fast-paced, stressful life.

  “Hey, man, heading out soon?” Tyler asked, tapping him on the back.

  “Yeah. Just finishing up.” He felt like an old man as he got to his feet—every muscle in his body ached. Maybe Erika would be interested in reciprocal massages that evening. Though he wasn’t sure running his hands all over her body would have the desired relaxing, therapeutic effect.

  “Before you go, a few of us were wondering if you could sign off on this.” Tyler placed a support member nomination form on the desk.

  Picking it up, Reed scanned it.

  The crew wanted to nominate Erika. He grinned. “This your idea?” he asked Tyler. “’Cause if you’re still trying to get into her pants, you’d have to fight me for her.”

  Tyler raised his fists, then immediately dropped them. “I could take your old man ass any day, but that’s not why I’m doing this. In fact, it was Wade’s idea. I just filled out the paperwork—he had to hurry home to Kim.” He gave a whipping leash motion and Reed laughed.

  Funny how, a week ago, he’d been one of the guys giving Wade heck about his relationship and settled ways. Now, he understood the appeal. Tyler would someday, too.

  “In that case, I’ll sign this,” he said, putting his signature at the bottom. “This is a great idea.”

  If only she really would consider becoming a support member. If only she was staying in Wild River.

  He grabbed his coat and handed the nomination form to Tyler. “It’s official.” And while he knew she’d never accept the position on the team, she was here now and he couldn’t wait any longer to see her.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  TANK’S TRUCK WAS gone when Erika arrived back at Cassie’s. Her heart was as heavy as the sleeping dog in her aching arms, who conveniently awoke the moment she opened the condo door. She wiggled free when she saw Cassie.

  “That was a quick walk,” she said, her casted leg propped up on a stack of pillows on the couch. Tank had signed it already and the sight would have made her smile if she could summon any joy at all, but all she felt was sad and conflicted. She was leaving. Returning to Anchorage right now was the last thing she wanted to do.

  “Someone missed you,” she said, unclipping the leash and hanging it on the hook near the door.

  “Well, it’s good that you’re back, Tank just ran out for breakfast. He should be back in a few minutes. I’m starving and I couldn’t decide what I was hungry for, so I told him to get one of everything... What’s wrong?” she asked as Erika entered the living room.

  May as well get straight to it. “I’m going to head back to Anchorage a little early. Tomorrow.”

  Cassie frowned. “But I thought you were enjoying your time here. Was it the rescue? I totally understand if it shook you up a little...or a lot,” her friend said, tying her blond hair into a messy bun at the top of her head.

  Erika shook her head. “It wasn’t the rescue. I was glad I could help. I just got a call from my...from the hospital. They need me back there.” She wished it were true. Unfortunately, she believed that her father was dragging her back so she wouldn’t get into any more “trouble” in Wild River.

  “Oh. Well, I can understand that. They’re probably realizing they can’t survive another week without you.” She studied her. “There’s more. Spill it.”

  Erika paced the living room. “It’s nothing. Just my dad. He found out about the emergency tracheotomy.” She clenched and unclenched her hands at her sides.

  “I take it he wasn’t thrilled?”

  “Ha!”

  Cassie shot her a sympathetic look. “Erika, I know he’s your father, but you’ve got to stop beating yourself up over needing his approval. You are a brilliant surgeon. Your patients are lucky to have you. Think about Tom and his wife—how grateful they were—and that was only one patient. You save thousands of lives every year. You can’t keep fighting for your dad’s acceptance. You don’t need it, friend.”

  The stress of everything in the last twenty-four hours made her lips move before she could think. “You’re one to talk.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Shit. This was not the way she wanted to have this talk with her friend. In fact, now that she was leaving, she wasn’t sure she should have it at all. She bit her lip. What would be the point in getting into this now? It really wasn’t any of her business. It was between Cassie and Reed and their family. She’d been back in their lives for a week. Yet, she felt she owed it to Reed to call Cassie out on the huge secret she was keeping.

  Still, she hesitated, searching for the right words.

  “Erika, what did you mean just now?” Cassie sat straighter on the couch.

  “Just that...” She took a deep breath. “Reed sent me into your office looking for the file for the corporate retreat...to get more information on your location.” She paused. Staying unemotional and unattached was the way she’d avoided situations like this one. How had she gotten tangled up in the Reynolds family’s dynamics?

  “And?”

  “And I saw a payment made to an addictions treatment center—for your dad,” she said, hating the look of hurt on her friend’s face, knowing she was the cause.

  “Right. I’m not the most organized. I’ve been meaning to hire a new receptionist...to file things away and shit. Out of sight.” Cassie forced a deep breath. “Did you mention it to Reed?”

  “No.”

  Her shoulders relaxed. “Good.”

  Erika frowned. “Good?” Anger rose in her chest. She hadn’t always been close to Reed, but she was now and Cassie�
��s actions—keeping this from him—upset her. The friend she’d known would never hurt her brother, and this would definitely hurt him. “You know your brother is still looking for him, right?”

  “Yes, I do. Erika, it’s complicated.”

  “So complicated that he doesn’t deserve to know his father isn’t missing? That you know where he is.” She fought the overwhelming sensation of guilt and hypocrisy. So did she and she hadn’t said anything. But this was different. Cassie was family.

  “I’ve only known for a few weeks,” she said, staring at her lap. “I got a call from the addictions center a few days before you called to say you were coming here. And then, well, you’ve been here...and there hasn’t been the right time to talk to Reed. I haven’t even had the time to digest all of this myself. I thought he was dead.”

  “So it’s my fault? My coming here?” Her friend’s justifications sounded like excuses to her. If her mother was still alive and safe, and someone was keeping that news from her...

  “No, it isn’t at all your fault. I’m just saying that telling him will shatter him and I haven’t gotten the guts to do that yet,” she said, looking defeated. “I have tried, really, I have. But every time, I can’t get the words out.”

  Erika understood that much at least. She sat next to her friend on the couch. A long silence fell between them. “Is your father’s addiction the reason he went away?”

  Cassie nodded. “I only spoke to him for a few minutes, but he seemed in bad shape. He’s been struggling with alcohol issues for years. He and Mom met at the pub in Willow Lake...they fell in love when she was helping him through his first attempt at recovering...getting sober. He was okay for a long time. He stayed away from drinking and he was a great father. Then things started to change. As kids, we didn’t fully understand, but we could feel the tension in the house. Dad would come home later from work and he and Mom would argue. Reed would excuse his behavior, saying he was working a lot and he was just tired or stressed. He always sided with Dad.”

  She took a deep breath. “Apparently, he fell off the wagon—bad—he spent his paycheck on a bender the weekend he disappeared and then he couldn’t face coming home.” She paused. “Then days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and he couldn’t get back to us. He had no idea how to find his way. He preferred letting us all think he was lost, because in a way he was. Reed was wrecked when Dad left. He refused to believe that he’d ever just leave us.”