Masked (The Divided Kingdom Book 1)

by Shari Cross

  My bruises! He must have come into my chambers while I was asleep and saw my exposed arm. My insides twist with dread as I think about what must be going through Gregory’s head, and worse, what he’s going to do about it. “Do you have any idea where he was going when he left?”

  “No. I asked him, but he wouldn’t tell me.”

  Think, Addalynne, think. He couldn’t be going to the Berrengers’. He knows they’re away, but that doesn’t mean he won’t go straight to Charles to demand answers as soon as they return. I have to talk to him before then. I have to persuade him to let go of any suspicion he may have.

  “There’s something, though, something I think I heard him say as he walked out.”

  “What was it?” I ask breathlessly.

  “I could be wrong, but it sounded like he mumbled something about Drake being an ignorant bastard.”

  No! He can’t be going to Drake! If he tells Drake about his suspicions . . . No . . . this can’t be happening . . . I have to stop him!

  I push myself off the bed and run for the door. Mary steps aside and lets me through, her face filled with bewilderment.

  “Addalynne, where are you going?” she calls, while trailing me to the entry. I ignore her question and run for the door.

  “Addalynne, don’t be absurd. You can’t leave in this state.”

  I pull open the door and run outside.

  “For goodness sake, Addalynne, you’re not even wearing shoes.”

  She’s right. The rocks cut into my feet as I run, but I don’t care. If I can only make it to Freyja, then I can ride the rest of the way.

  But Mary’s hand is now firmly holding my shoulder. I try to pull away, but my body is weak, and she’s able to spin me around to face her.

  “Addalynne, please listen to me. I know you can’t tell me what’s going on, but it’s clear that there’s something you’re trying very hard to keep secret. Now, think about what you’re about to do. If you go riding into the village in your chemise, searching for Gregory and Drake like a mad woman, you’re only going to confirm their suspicions.”

  “You don’t understand! I can’t let him tell Drake!”

  “No, I don’t understand, but I can help you. I’ll go to the village and find Gregory and I’ll try my best to keep him away from Drake. That will give you some time.” She’s right again. If I go like this, it will only prove that there’s something terribly wrong. Mary is my only hope for stopping Gregory.

  It kills me to let her go in my place, to stay here and wait, with only my thoughts to torment me. But I have no choice, so I nod my head in affirmation.

  “I’ll do my best,” she says, running past me.

  “Take Gregory’s horse!” I call back, watching her run toward the barn. Seconds later, she exits the barn atop Sejant. I wrap my arms around myself and watch them ride toward the village, praying with everything in me that she’ll get there in time.

  Chapter 23

  HER

  I run the brush along Freyja’s mane, trying to let the feel of her hair and the sound of the strokes calm me. It’s not working. I wasn’t careful enough, and now the only chance I have of keeping Drake safe is if Mary was able to stop Gregory. If she got to him in time, then I can figure out something to tell him, even if it has to be the partial truth. But it’s been almost an hour since she left, and the fact that Gregory still hasn’t come home has me dizzy with trepidation.

  At least Charles isn’t here. I have to fix this before he returns.

  The sound of the lock latching into place on the stable door alerts me to someone else’s presence in the barn. Startled, I spin around.

  “Drake,” his name falls from my lips and the brush slips from my fingers, clattering to the ground.

  I take in the totality of him as he lingers near the heavy wooden doors, the look on his face determined, yet vulnerable and pained. His face is flushed, his eyes sparkling with what I can only assume is anger. His white tunic is streaked with dirt, his black breaches dusted brown. Mary was too late.

  He closes the distance between us and comes to a stop with merely inches separating us. I press my back against Freyja’s sturdy side and look up at Drake. His eyes are burning right through me. I look away, setting my gaze at the hem of my navy dress, focusing on the way it grazes against the hay at my feet, while I try to catch my breath.

  My heart is beating so intensely that I can hear it drumming in my ears. It’s as though it’s trying to break free, to jump out of my body and dive into his, returning to where it knows it belongs.

  His fingertips brush against my cheek, and my body ignites with need, his touch as familiar as my own name. I close my eyes and focus on the path of his fingers as they move toward my ear and push my hair behind it. His fingers continue to trace down my neck and then to my collarbone, where they linger.

  “I’ve been such a fool,” he says quietly, and then his hand drops to his side, taking with it the first warmth I’ve felt in weeks. “I need you to talk to me, Addy. I need you to tell me what Charles is doing to you.” The pain in his voice is crushing, but there’s harshness to it when he spits out Charles’s name.

  I take a deep breath and raise my head to look at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  His expression doesn’t change. Instead, he reaches forward and gently places his hand on my left side, on top of my cracked ribs. He doesn’t apply any pressure, but his touch shows me just how much he knows. I swallow against the lump in my throat and try to think of something to say, but Drake’s words come first.

  “I’ve been blind, Addy, and I will never forgive myself for it. If I had been more aware, I could have stopped him. I could have kept you safe. But I’m not blind anymore. This morning, I saw the pain you were in, and then Gregory told me . . .” his voice breaks. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I do need your honesty.” His words are oxygen, and my body craves them—craves the love that is pouring from them; love that I never thought I would receive from him again. I don’t want to lie to him. I want to tell him how much I’m hurting, and let him heal each wound with his touch. I want to convince him that there’s nothing to forgive because none of this is his fault. But wanting these things is irrelevant. This isn’t about what I want; it’s about keeping him alive.

  I set my shoulders and look him straight in the eye, trying to appear strong, when internally I’m turning to ash. “I know exactly what Gregory told you and I can assure you he’s mistaken. He’s not happy about my engagement to Charles, and he’s looking for any reason to put an end to it, even if it means creating one.”

  Drake drags his hands across his face and a humorless chuckle of pure aggravation escapes his lips. When he drops his hands and sets his gaze back on me, there’s a perceptible trace of anger in his eyes.

  “Okay, Addalynne, I’ll play along. Let’s pretend that Gregory’s wrong about the bruises on your arm. What about what I saw this morning in the market? I know you were in pain. Don’t try to tell me that I imagined it.”

  “No, I am injured, but it’s because I fell off of Freyja, not because Charles—”

  “Stop, Addalynne! Stop lying!” His chest is rising and falling heavily with his breaths and his face is flushed. He’s furious and devastated, and it’s entirely my fault. I want to wrap my arms around him and quiet all his anger, all his fear.

  I slide my body sideways, stepping away from him before I give in to what I want. I walk toward the window and look outside, fixing my gaze on the swaying willow tree. It’s planted firmly in the ground, and no matter what storm comes its way, it keeps hold of its roots and its position.

  “I’m not lying, Drake. I told you the truth. It’s not my fault if you can’t accept it.” I force the words out, but every strand of my body is fighting to give in.

  His hand wraps around my hip and he slowly spins me around to face him. He looks down at me with hurt and desperation as he places both hands on either side of my head, trapping me in place. With
every inch of space he closes between us, my cover slips. And he’s so very close to me now. I have to escape his gaze and his proximity if I’m going to get through this. My current position offers nowhere to move to, making it impossible to escape him. But I can avoid his gaze. I look down at the ground, removing him from my line of sight.

  “Look at me,” he demands, but I keep my focus on the hay at my feet. “Look at me,” he pleads, and his fingers brush across my cheek, sending the deepest longing through my body. He runs his fingers under my jaw and gently lifts my face. My resolve is almost completely gone, and the determined look in his eyes tells me he knows it.

  He’s not going to let this go. He may not know everything, but Gregory has filled him with enough suspicion to make him pursue answers. Neither he nor Gregory will stop until they know the absolute truth, not anymore. And if I don’t tell him, he’ll go to Charles for answers. I failed him. My heart breaks with the realization.

  I let myself look fully into his eyes, knowing I no longer need to pretend, and let my fingers run across his cheek. As I touch him, his eyes close and we simultaneously exhale. Giving in and letting my fingers graze across his skin sends an overload of feelings and emotions through me. Desire, longing, heartache, comfort, fear—I wonder how much a person can take before they reach their limit and shatter.

  He places his hand on top of my own, cradling it against his cheek.

  “Please, Addy. I need to hear the truth from you. I need you to tell me what he’s doing to you. All these lies—they’re killing me.” His eyes slowly open. There’s so much pain and fear in them.

  “Drake, seeing that look on your face and knowing that I’m the one who put it there is torture. But the worst part is that there’s nothing I can tell you that will make any of this better for either of us. If I tell you he’s hurting me, it won’t change anything. Nothing I tell you today will stop any of this from happening.” Confusion passes over his features. I pull my hand from under his and drop it back down to my side. “I love you, Drake. But I still can’t be with you. I have to marry Charles.”

  “Because he’s forcing you to marry him?” He waits for my confirmation, his body trembling slightly, pure rage storming in his eyes.

  “Yes.” The word leaves with my breath. I did it. I told him the truth. A paralyzing amount of dread numbs my body, but I push it back and focus on this moment and the fact that we’re together.

  Drake pulls me into his arms and holds me against his chest. I return the embrace, memorizing the feel of his heart beating against me, his breath caressing the top of my head.

  “Addy, you don’t need to be afraid. He can’t hurt you, not anymore. I won’t let him come near you. And whatever he said, whatever he threatened to do to you if you didn’t marry him—”

  “He didn’t threaten me.” I pull back slightly and look into his face. If only it had been that simple. A threat on my life I could handle.

  “Then, how . . . I don’t understand.”

  I take a deep breath in preparation for my answer. I’m worried about his reaction, but I’ve come this far already. There’s no going back, not anymore, not ever. “He threatened you, Drake. He said he knew you were the reason I was refusing him and that he would kill you if that’s what it took to get you out of the way. I had no other choice but to agree to marry him.” My voice breaks with my confession.

  I wait for him to respond, but he remains silent, his eyes vacant, his face a blank mask. Whatever thoughts are running through his head are being meticulously concealed from me, which is absolutely terrifying. He removes his arms from around me and takes a step back. He drops his head into his hands and drags them across his face.

  “Why didn’t you tell me the truth? Why did you lie to me?” he asks quietly, his hands still covering his face.

  “Because the only way to keep you safe was to make you believe I was choosing him.”

  He turns his back to me and takes several steps, his hands fisting into his hair.

  “That day in the woods, I wanted to die.” I continue. I have to make him understand. “I’ll never forgive myself for the things I said to you, but you have to understand that there is no other way. They will kill you, Drake! Charles killed Sarah Hunt in front of me just to prove a point! The Hunts aren’t missing, he killed them! If I refuse Charles, if the truth about the Berrengers comes out, what will stop them from killing you and the rest of my family? I have to keep all of you safe!” Tears burn their way down my cheeks. Drake’s hands drop to his sides and he turns back toward me, his eyes alight with ire.

  “Lord Berrenger adores your father. He would never let any harm to come to your family. And I don’t care about my safety, I care about yours! I would forfeit my life a thousand times over to keep you safe! You will not marry him to save me!”

  “I will do whatever it takes to keep you alive!”

  “And what kind of life would that be, Addalynne? Standing idly by, knowing he’s hurting you? I’ll kill him before he has a chance to even look at you again, much less lay a hand on you.” The look on his face is murderous. Everything about him tells me that if Charles were in Faygrene, he would be riding straight to his manor to drive a blade through his chest.

  “You can’t, Drake! His guards are always with him. You’ll never be able to get him alone.”

  “I don’t need to,” he sneers as he begins to pace. “There are plenty of times that I’ve seen him with only one guard. It will be easy.” I can practically see the plan forming in his head. I need a new way to reason with him.

  “And what happens if you fail? Do you think that he’ll stop and leave me be? Of course he won’t! He’ll take me anyway, and he’ll only hurt me more as further punishment. Are you really willing to take that risk? You’ll be dead, and I’ll be his, and there will be absolutely nothing that I or my family will be able to do about it. Plus, if you do manage to kill him, his father will have his guards kill you, and then he’ll hurt me as punishment. Killing Charles is not a solution!”

  He finally stops pacing and turns to face me.

  “He’s next in line to be the Lord of Faygrene, Drake. We have no chance of standing against him.”

  He turns away from me, his hands curling into fists. He knows I’m right. A blacksmith and a woman have no chance against a lord. I’m relieved that I seem to have silenced his argument, but the broken set of his shoulders devastates me. I move toward him and place my hand on his back.

  “Just know that every moment I’m with him, I’ll be thinking of you. I may have to be his wife, but I will always be yours.” He turns around and his eyes stare into mine. Pure heartbreak is reflected through them, and the tears instantly return to my eyes. He reaches up and wipes a tear from my cheek.

  “I won’t let you do this, Addalynne. Don’t ask me to let you do this.” His voice fractures with emotion, and there’s nothing I can say to make it better. He knows the truth now and, though he’s resisting, he knows there’s nothing that can be done.

  I reach my hands up and place them on either side of his face. The thought that this is most likely the last time I will ever be alone with him courses through me, like lightening burning through my body, causing excruciating pain, but also giving me the strength I need.

  “Drake.” His name leaves my lips in a painful moan, showing him how much I need him. I have to remind myself to breathe when he leans down and presses his lips firmly against mine.

  The feel of his mouth on mine brings life back into me. Having him here with me and being able to hold him is more than I could have ever hoped for, but it’s fleeting. This moment will end and I will lose him. The taste of salt mixes with our kiss, calling my attention to the tears that are streaming down my face. He must notice them too because he pulls back slightly. He regards them for a moment before leaning in and pressing his lips against them, wiping each tear away with a brush of his lips.

  He continues to kiss his way down my cheek, to my jaw, his lips passing over it and brushing d
own my neck. As his lips reach the curve of my neck, his hands move to the sides of my waist. He walks us backwards and then he gently lifts me off the ground, using his body to pin me between himself and the wooden wall of the barn. A gasp escapes my lips and I wrap my legs around his waist, exulting in the feeling of having his body this close to mine, but still desperate to be closer.

  He returns his mouth to mine and continues to kiss me, his lips warm and urgent. I respond just as passionately, trying to take all of him in, my hands alternating between tangling in his hair, and pulling on the collar of his tunic. His hands travel from my waist down to the sides of my thighs. He pauses for a moment before grasping his hands under my thighs and backing us away from the wall. He holds me while I move my mouth down his jaw and to his neck, the stubble scraping against my lips. A grunt escapes his mouth and he drops to his knees.

  I return my lips to his, and he gently lies us down onto the ground, the hay snapping under the pressure of our bodies. My heart is erratic as I wait to see how long this will last, how far he’s willing to go. I want to give him everything, and I can only pray that he won’t stop.

  As he lays his body on top of mine, I push all thoughts of Charles away. I refuse to let the thought of him ruin this moment. He may be taking my future, but tonight belongs to Drake.

  Drake’s lips move across my throat, his warm breath sending chills across my body. Suddenly, he pulls away, leaning his body onto his left arm, his eyes finding mine.

  “I love you, Addalynne. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love someone. You’re my best friend, but you’re also so much more. You’re the reason that anything in my life makes sense, because, despite everything that has happened, you have been my constant. Even when I thought I couldn’t have you, I kept parts of you within me, and I could feel you in every breath, in every thought. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know we will find a way to be together. Nothing will keep me away from you. Not anymore. I just . . . I need you to know how much I . . .” A subtle blush colors his cheeks and he glances away for a moment, letting out a frustrated sigh. “I’m rambling,” he says, followed by a small smile. I smile back and he reaches down and brushes my hair from my face. “I want you, Addalynne.” My heart skips a painful beat when I realize what he’s implying.