The Grand Finale

by Janet Evanovich

  “Berry.”

  “You growled?”

  “What are you doing? Practicing the polka?”

  “I can’t get comfortable.”

  “It would be nice if you didn’t make it my problem. I’ve had a lousy day. I’d like nothing better than to get back to sleep.”

  “Ugh.” Berry smacked him with her pillow.

  Jake snatched the pillow from her and tucked it under his head.

  “Jake Sawyer, give me back my pillow!”

  “Possession is nine-tenths of the law. It’s mine now.”

  Berry ripped the quilt from him and wrapped herself in it cocoon style, gloating over the gasp of surprise she’d provoked. Two could play this game. He wasn’t the only one who was capable of acting childish.

  Jake grabbed an end and dumped her out of the quilt.

  “Hey, possession is nine-tenths of the law!” Berry said.

  “Only when you’re big and strong like me.” He placed the pillow in the middle of the bed and pointed with his finger. “That half of the pillow is yours.” He draped the quilt over them and tucked her in. “How’s your stomach?”

  “It’s fine. How’s yours?”

  What was with this stomach stuff? That had to be the third time tonight he’d asked about her stomach.

  “Mmmph.” He slammed his head onto his half of the pillow.

  “We don’t fit like this,” Berry said. “I can’t get my head onto my half of the pillow.”

  He silently rolled to his side, and Berry inched her way over. Now they were back to back, tush to tush. Berry watched the digital minutes tick by. She couldn’t sleep like this. Tush to tush was uncomfortable. She held her breath and very carefully rolled over until she was facing Jake, spoon fashion. Yes, she decided, this was much better.

  For lack of something better to do with her arm, she draped it over his waist and rested her cheek just millimeters from his neck. Mmmm, she was getting more comfortable all the time, but the angle was wrong. She was sure she could go to sleep if she was just a bit closer, so she wriggled around until she was perfectly molded to Jake’s back. She finally had attained the ideal position for sleep, and she was so pleased about it that she allowed herself a sigh of satisfaction. “Ahhh,” she sighed softly, blowing a little wisp of warm air across his neck, into his ear.

  “Ohhh!”

  “Pardon?” she whispered, her voice husky with thoughts of sleep.

  Jake’s voice cracked when he spoke. “Are you comfortable?”

  Berry stretched slightly, pressing her breasts into his back. “Mmmm. Are you?”

  There was a low groan, and she felt his muscles tense.

  “I’m so tired,” she said. “I can hardly keep my eyes open. How about you?”

  “I’m not tired at all. To tell you the truth, I’m wide-awake. In fact, I’m getting more awake by the minute.”

  Berry’s finger carelessly stroked the center of Jake’s belly. “Maybe, you just need some relaxing.”

  “Relax? With your breasts poking into my back and your finger stuck in my navel?” He gave a sigh of desperation and turned around to face her. “Listen, Berry, there’s something I have to tell you.”

  Berry felt his arousal hard and full against her, cleverly sneaking its way under her nightshirt. She ran her hands across his smooth muscular back and kissed the pulse point that throbbed in his neck. She loved him. With all her heart and soul and every hormone she possessed. She loved the way he got excited about his crazy food inventions, and the way he accepted the ladies. He could bandage a scratch, inflate a sagging ego, make a helluva pepperoni pizza, and turn her into mush with a single glance.

  “I have a few things to tell you, too,” Berry said. “The first thing I need to tell you is that I’m going to make mad, passionate love to you.”

  Chapter 11

  Berry thought she might begin to purr. It was a wonderful luxury to awaken in the arms of your lover. Especially when your lover was about to become your husband and the father of your children. At least she assumed he was about to become her husband and the father of the children. Actually, he hadn’t mentioned marriage last night. And now that she thought about it, he hadn’t returned the ring. She pressed her cheek to his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart while he slept. Good thing she was secure and not the sort to panic. If she was the sort to panic, she might worry that he’d caught cold feet from her.

  There was a squeal of brakes on the street and the angry slam of a car door. “And another thing,” a familiar voice shouted. “I don’t snore. You snore!”

  Mrs. Fitz? Berry rolled out of bed and went to the window.

  Mrs. Fitz looked up at her. “What the devil are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the house?”

  “It’s a long story,” Berry said. “Why aren’t you on your way to the Grand Canyon?”

  Mrs. Fitz flapped her arms at the departing camper. “You ever try to live in one of them things with an old man? It was enough to take seven years off my life. He drives like a maniac. He makes disgusting slurping noises at breakfast. And I can’t stand the way he blows his nose. He honks. You don’t have to honk when you blow your nose.” She fished in her purse and inserted her key in the door. “Boy, it’s good to be home. I can’t wait to make myself a cup of tea.”

  “I just had the scariest dream,” Jake said, sitting up in bed. “I thought I heard Mrs. Fitz saying it was good to be home.”

  Berry slumped against the wall. “That was no dream. Harry slurped and honked, so Mrs. Fitz dumped him.” She pulled on a pair of jeans and dropped a yellow T-shirt over her head. “I’ll make coffee and you can take Jane for a walk.”

  “Old men,” Mrs. Fitz muttered in the kitchen. “Don’t ever go camping with an old man. Nothing but a pain in the behind.”

  “I thought you and Harry got along so well.”

  “Yeah, well, you never really know a man until you’ve had to sit across from him at the breakfast table.”

  Berry leaned against the counter while the coffee dripped. “Jake is sensational at the breakfast table.”

  “Yeah. After you’ve eaten breakfast with Jake, you’re ruined,” Mrs. Fitz said.

  Voices carried up to them from the street. Berry and Mrs. Fitz looked at each other and raised their eyebrows when the downstairs door opened.

  “Better not be Harry coming back. I’m done with him,” Mrs. Fitz said, angrily folding her arms across her chest.

  Berry leaned forward. “It’s not Harry. It’s Mildred and Bill—and Mrs. Dugan!”

  “I got food poisoning,” Mrs. Dugan said when she walked into the apartment. “Thought I was going to die. The ship company was real nice about it. They put me up in a hospital in Vancouver for two days and then flew me home. I tried calling last night from the airport, but there wasn’t any answer at the house, and the Pizza Place line was always busy.”

  “So she called me,” Mildred said. “Lucky we came home from our honeymoon early.” She nudged Mrs. Dugan in the arm. “Tell them about Stanley.”

  Mrs. Dugan poured herself a cup of tea. “Before I got sick I met the nicest man. He lives just blocks from here. Can you imagine that?”

  “Has he got friends?” Mrs. Fitz asked. “I need a new boyfriend.”

  Bill helped himself to an English muffin. “Nicky Petrowski’s going to be glad to hear that. He saw you at our party and thought you were really something.”

  Mrs. Fitz looked skeptical. “Nicky Petrowski. Was he the one with the tattoo on his forehead?”

  “Naw, that’s Bucky Weaver. He’s missing a few marbles. I don’t think you want to go out with Bucky Weaver. Nicky Petrowski’s the one who can touch his nose with his tongue.”

  “I remember him. He’s real cute,” Mrs. Fitz said.

  Berry glanced at the clock and drained her coffee cup. “I’d like to stay and hear more about Nicky Petrowski’s talents, but I’ve got to take an economics exam this morning.”

  “I’ll drop you o
ff at school,” Jake said, taking a set of keys from the kitchen counter.

  The drive to the college was quiet. Berry stared at her naked ring finger and wondered if she was still engaged. She was afraid to ask. What if he said no? She tilted her chin up a fraction of an inch. Then she’d make the best of it. Obviously, he enjoyed sleeping with her. If that was to be the extent of their relationship, she’d just have to go day by day and try to put limitations on her feelings.

  Lord, how did you do that when you were coconuts over someone? Maybe in time, she decided. Maybe after a while his feelings would turn back to marriage. She clasped her hands together. It was going to hurt to have to wait. She wanted to be a permanent part of him now. There were things she had to share with him…silly jokes, comfortable silences, promotions, rejections, income tax audits, childbirth. Especially childbirth. She pressed her lips together and stole a brief glance at Jake. Ironic that she finally understood his impatience, just when he seemed to have adopted her reluctance.

  Jake pulled to the curb and let the engine idle. A muscle worked in his jaw while he stared at the steering wheel.

  Berry’s stomach turned. This is it, she thought, barely able to breathe. He’s going to dump me. This is the kiss-off. Good-bye, Berry, it’s been fun.

  “Berry, there’s something I have to tell you.”

  She was going to be sick. Or she was going to cry. Maybe she’d do both. Shape up, Berry, she ordered. You can’t throw up in this car. It’s a rental.

  “You’re as white as a sheet! Is it your stomach?” Jake asked hopefully, putting his hand to her forehead.

  He sounded happy. Probably he’d go into ecstasy if she had dysentery. “It’s my exam. I’m worried about my exam.”

  “Maybe we should talk later.”

  “Yeah, later would be better.”

  Berry skipped down the classroom building steps in a state of giddy relief. It was over, and she knew she’d passed both her exams with flying colors. If she took courses this summer, she’d be a senior in the fall.

  A long arm reached out and snagged her by the elbow. “Whoa, where’s the rush?”

  Berry looked around and realized it was Jake.

  “I’m done,” Berry said. “I passed. I know this sounds silly, but I felt like I needed to run.”

  The somber mood was instantly replaced with a smile that only partially reached his eyes. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”

  Berry clutched her books to her chest. “I suppose we have to talk now.”

  “I suppose we do.” He plunged his hands into his pockets and studied his shoes. “I have some good news, and some bad news.” He looked around. “Would you mind if we went back to the house where it’s more private?”

  She nodded and followed him to the car. It didn’t take a genius to see his mood wasn’t good. Well, phooey, so what if he gives me the old heave-ho. There are lots more where he came from. She shook her head. Berry, Berry, Berry. Who are you trying to kid? Like Mrs. Fitz said, after you’ve eaten breakfast with Jake Sawyer, you’re ruined.

  “Where’s the station wagon?” Berry asked, shading her eyes from the sun, looking for the car.

  “That’s part of the good news. I bought a new car. What do you think?”

  “This is your new car? This flashy red number? Wow, what is it?”

  “It’s a Ferrari.”

  Holy cow, a Ferrari. It looked like it should come equipped with James Bond. Berry slid into the passenger seat. Major depression. This was not a family car. He probably bought the darn thing with the money he got back from the ring. “Okay, let’s go. Let’s get to the house so I can hear the bad news. Boy, I can’t wait. I love bad news.”

  Jake crept out into the afternoon traffic. “It’s not such bad news. Good news and bad news is a figure of speech. Actually, the bad news is sort of boring. It’s not worth getting upset over. Maybe it’s the car that’s upsetting you. Do you hate the car?”

  “Are you kidding? How could anyone hate this car? This car is nifty.”

  Of course I hate the car, you insensitive bachelor, she thought. Why couldn’t you buy a four-door sedan? You could put a pregnant wife and kids in a four-door sedan. Or better yet, station wagon. Then the dogs would fit. She folded her arms across her chest and slunk down in her seat. Tomorrow she would cry her eyes out and smash pizza dough until she was exhausted. It’s not so bad, she told herself. You’ve been through this before. You know how to repair a broken heart and damaged ego.

  Jake parked in the driveway and fiddled with his keys. He looked at the house and sighed. “The bad news is…the house still smells.”

  “That’s the bad news?” Berry didn’t know whether to scream, cry, or burst out laughing. Get a grip, she told herself. You’re getting hysterical.

  “I know you’re really ticked off about this smell business. It’s just that I was in such a panic. I was so crazy in love with you that I couldn’t think straight. All I knew was that I couldn’t live without you. You made this big, empty house into a home. The minute you stepped through the door I could smell pudding cooking on the stove and hear kids running up and down the stairs. That was when I made up my plan. All I could think about, day and night, was having you by my side and buying a dog. I know it was dumb of me to rush out and buy Jane, but it symbolized commitment to me. I guess it was a way of reassuring myself that everything would work out and that you would be a permanent part of my life.” He thumped the steering wheel. “Man, I really screwed this up. I just thought, maybe if you had longer to get to know me you could learn to like me. Honey, I love you more than life itself. I know it makes you sick to your stomach to wear my ring, but I’m willing to wait. We could live together for a while. No pressure until you’re ready. I promise I won’t mention the ring again. We don’t even have to have kids right away. We could get another dog.” He saw the look of horror on her face and held up his hands. “Okay, no more dogs.”

  “Is this why you kept asking me about my stomach?”

  “As soon as you got the ring off your finger, your stomach felt fine. Boy, talk about depressing.”

  Berry gave her head a small shake. “We’ve got to work on communication. My stomach felt fine because I realized I loved you and we were a really good team.”

  “I didn’t know,” Jake said. “You didn’t tell me.”

  “I guess I have a lot of explaining to do,” Berry said, “but first, I think I’m going to make love with you in this flashy car.”

  “It’s not very big.”

  “It will be when I’m done with it.”

  Jake’s eyes crinkled into laugh lines. “I meant the car.”

  “Of course. I knew that. Are you going to argue with me about this, or what?”

  “I think I’m going to or what.”

  Half an hour later they rolled out of the car onto the grass and lay there sweating and laughing.

  “Well, we did it,” Berry gasped, straightening her shirt.

  “My back will never be the same. I think I’m too old for this car stuff.” He looked over at her. “Tonight I’m going to do it right—soft music, candles, nice sheets.”

  “Sounds wonderful, but we have wall-to-wall ladies in my apartment.”

  “I never told you the rest of the good news. I’ve sold partial rights to a computer game I originally designed for my nephew. And next month United Foods will begin introducing an entire line of Jake’s Junk. We’re moderately rich. We can sleep wherever we want tonight. Juneau, Japan, the Grand Canyon.” His eyes held hers in a silent affirmation of love. “I want to make things nice for you. If you want to finish school and be a pizza tycoon, that’s fine. But I want to pamper you a little, too.”

  Berry lazily watched Jake reach into his jeans pocket and extract something that flashed in the waning sunlight.

  “My ring!” Berry exclaimed.

  “I’ve had it sterilized and sized.” He slipped the ring on her finger. “This is just as binding as a marriage ceremony, Lingo
nberry Knudsen. I promise to love you forever and ever, good times, bad times, till death do us part.”

  “Till death do us part,” she repeated. “Good times, bad times, love everlasting.”

  “There’s just one more thing,” Jake said. “Now that you’ve pledged good times and bad times and love everlasting I have a confession to make.”

  “Already?”

  “I’ve been saving it for the right moment.”

  “And the right moment would be what?”

  “It would be after you pledged to stick with me through bad times.”

  “Oh, boy.”

  “My aunt Bitsy is coming to visit tomorrow,” Jake said. “She’s my grandmother’s sister, and she makes Mrs. Dugan look like loosey-goosey. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice lady. It’s just that her moral code is left over from Victorian England, and honestly she’s always scared the bejeezus out of me.”

  “How long is she staying?”

  “A week! An entire week. Seven days. A hundred and sixty-eight hours. She’ll inspect glasses for water spots. She’ll make me polish my shoes and eat all my vegetables. And there’ll be no hanky-panky. I was really hoping I could get you to marry me before she arrived, but at least you’ve pledged bad times.”

  “It’s just a week,” Berry said.

  “Trust me, it’ll be a long week.”

  Berry didn’t think it sounded so bad. She was going to have another little old lady to chat with at the breakfast table. And Berry thought if she could hurry Jake along, they could be married before Aunt Bitsy arrived.

  About the Author

  Bestselling author JANET EVANOVICH is the winner of the New Jersey Romance Writers Golden Leaf Award and multiple Romantic Times awards, including Lifetime Achievement. She is also a longstanding member of RWA.

  “Romance novels are birthday cake and life is often peanut butter and jelly. I think everyone should have lots of delicious romance novels lying around for those times when the peanut butter of life gets stuck to the roof of your mouth.” Janet Evanovich, 1988