Back to You

by Lauren Dane

“I love hearing you sing. Why not do this with Sweet Hollow Ranch?”

  “It’s not our sound. It’s my sound. I want to sing these songs. I want to produce them how I want them. I told Paddy, if it’s a band thing, I have to compromise. I don’t want to. This is mine. I want it how I want it.”

  “All right.”

  “Just like that?” Vaughan asked her.

  “You have a talent. A gift. I support you doing whatever the hell you want with it.” She shrugged. “You’re an artist. That process isn’t always predictable and sometimes you need to flip the script and do something totally new. That’s exciting.”

  “Thank you for supporting me.” It meant a lot to him. “I spoke to my brothers about it. They’re all behind me. I figure given all the major stuff going on in their lives, the band won’t be back in the studio for a year or two. Now’s my time. I have the place to work. The time to work and so much fucking joy and terror and amazement in my life right now I feel like if I don’t use it when it’s clearly pushing so hard to be done, I’d be turning my back on it.”

  “I get it. If you need to be at the ranch more while you work, that’s fine. We can make it happen.”

  “I just got that apartment above the garage just right. The soundproofing has been installed. I’ve got my boards there. Most of my guitars and other equipment. I’m good. There’s something about that view out the windows, over the neighborhood, the trees and roofs here and there. Maddie suggested window boxes and I think I agreed to go flower shopping with her sometime soon.”

  “She’s really good at making people bend to her will. Like her dad.”

  “Thank God for it. Here I am, across the table from the most beautiful woman in the world, rocking a dress that makes my mouth water. You look at me, see past all the bullshit and you love me. I’m pouring all that into this new material.”

  “I’m glad, too. I’d love to hear it when you’re ready to share.”

  He caught movement from the corner of his vision and turned. Two women at the bar across the way had recognized him and were taking what they thought were surreptitious cell phone pictures of him.

  Kelly turned, caught sight of it and sighed. “I guess it was too good to be true. Bound to happen sooner or later. Hopefully we won’t see nipples or have to deal with propositions.”

  “Let’s just see if it gets worse or if they’ve done all they plan to.” He took her hand. “Don’t let it ruin our romantic date.”

  Fame had brought many advantages to his life. A lot of power. Certainly a lot of money. Those things in turn brought opportunity.

  But there was another side to it. People camped out on the lawn. Heightened security concerns. He’d had Kelly’s house completely rewired and updated for security. If he was going to draw attention to his family, he wanted to be sure they were safe.

  And there was the in-between. Being recognized all the time. Some days it made him paranoid. Mostly he’d learned to ignore it. People were usually just excited to see him.

  It made having a quiet, intimate dinner with his woman a lot harder, though.

  “You asked me about the brunch with my parents and we got interrupted and even when we were alone there was nakedness. I told them the truth. All of it. Including that I’d be living in Gresham.”

  Kelly sat back a little, but to his great relief, that wariness she’d had for weeks didn’t return. “What was their reaction?” She sipped her champagne and waited for him to continue.

  “I didn’t do my job with you before. On every level. They understand now. They know...my mom knows she was wrong about you.”

  She pushed the sweet potato puffs at him. He looked at them and she snickered. “Think of them like tater tots. I promise. They’re really good.”

  “Would you have said that to Ross?” It was important to know.

  Kelly made a face and then shrugged. “Ross would eat a tater tot of any kind. As would any sane person who wasn’t allergic to them. It should be unnecessary to encourage someone to eat a tater tot. I have to tell you, there were years when my diet consisted of three leftover bites of cold mac and cheese, a few tater tots and a grape or two.”

  Her sense of humor had become more self-deprecating, but not in a loathing sense. Kelly was more comfortable with herself and it only made her more alluring.

  “I like them as much as the next person. But I do notice you’re not eating very many.”

  She snorted, rolling her eyes. “Do you really think I’d try to fool you into eating them like you’re one of our children?”

  He had to be the luckiest man in the world to be loved by this woman. “I am so fucking happy right now. I love you and I’m glad to be with you under the stars. I’m happy you tease me.”

  Kelly had a slight reserve with most people. She was cordial but she didn’t let very many close to her. Into the place in her life where she exposed that softer side. Where she trusted you enough to tease.

  He kissed her palm. He’d thrown it away once but she’d given it to him again. He meant to do a better job with this opportunity. “Thank you for letting me back in.”

  Her smile in response made it a little uncomfortable in his pants. Unguarded.

  He tried one of the sweet potato things and they were really good, especially with the spicy stuff to dip them in. “Okay, those really are fantastic. This didn’t seem like the fried-potatoes-and-stuff-to-dip-them-in sort of place. I could make a meal from them alone.”

  He took pictures and then Kelly took a few of him eating them so he could send them to Mary.

  “I sent one of them to the girls, too,” Kelly said as she handed the phone back.

  When it buzzed moments later, he slid it unlocked to see a picture of their daughters making faces. Vaughan held it for her to see. “Guess that explains the selfie.”

  “They love it when you send them pictures. When you’re on tour it’s like they’re with you a little bit. It’s a very cool thing you do. I never thanked you for that.”

  Their next courses came out.

  “The pictures they send back help me get through. Especially at the point on tour when I am done. I’m rubbed raw and exposed and I just want to be home and know I’m safe. I see their faces and I can do another show and kick ass because they’re home waiting for me. And they’re safe.”

  Kelly swallowed hard, continuing to eat slowly. “What did your parents say?” she blurted.

  He didn’t need her to clarify. He knew she meant how did they react after he’d told them the whole truth. “They’re pissed off at me. Worse, they’re disappointed. My dad told me I should be ashamed. He said I hadn’t been a good man. But then he said I was now. That meant something. My mom? Well, she was so pissed. At me for, as she put it, making her act like a bitchy mother-in-law. Kelly, I know things have been hard for you and that this whole thing with me and my family only made it worse. But after my parents yelled at me and my mom made sure I knew she planned to make me pay for having to apologize for being so awful, they invited us all to dinner at their house on the night of the gallery launch. They were wrong. They know it and I’m hoping you give them another chance.”

  “Your being a good man means something to me, too. I wanted to believe your promises at the beginning. But I was afraid to. I’m a lot less scared now. And a lot happier,” Kelly said.

  “I can’t make it all better.” There was too much damage for him to ever expect he could erase it all. “But I’m trying and I want you to know you make me glad I do. Every day. They’re going to make this right. I told them that was necessary.”

  She groaned. “Great. I told you not to do that. Now they’re going to think I put you up to it and made you choose. I’m the Yoko of Sweet Hollow Ranch.”

  “I already chose. I’m here. With you and our daughters. You’re my family. Everyone got off to a r
ocky start but we’re all older and wiser now. I honestly believe this is going to be just fine. There’s so much amazing stuff happening for all of us right now, there’s no other way but to be a big loving family.”

  “If you say so. I’m in if they are.”

  They had a lovely, long dinner, though she didn’t eat enough for his liking and he told her so as they got up to leave.

  Kelly gave him a glare. “Look, I told you. This is part of my life. I have to think about how many calories I take in each day. I have to think about what might make me look bloated. What might make my skin look worse. Sometimes I need to be far more conscientious and in control than others. When I have work in front of the camera, that’s one of those times.”

  “Vaughan? Can we get your autograph and a picture with you, please?” The two women from the bar cut them off at the elevator.

  “And this is yours.” Kelly stepped out of the way, but he could tell she was agitated. This had been a sore point for them while they’d been married and then, well, he’d given her a reason to be suspicious and wary of his interactions with female fans.

  He took some pictures and signed a menu.

  “Do you two want some company?” one of them asked him.

  “Fuck off, skank.” Kelly walked into the elevator and he followed quickly. The host downstairs told Vaughan the car had been called and was at the curb.

  But just a few feet from the door two photographers stood, taking shots of Vaughan with his arm around Kelly. They called his name then one of them recognized Kelly.

  Shouting her name, they got in closer but Vaughan hustled to the car where the driver held the paps back while Vaughan got Kelly inside.

  “Sorry about that, Mr. Hurley. They just showed up,” the driver said as he got behind the wheel.

  “I think they got a tip from someone inside that I was there. Not your fault.”

  “You need to think about a guard. If you’re out with your wife and kids...” The driver met Vaughan’s gaze in the rearview mirror. He didn’t need to say any more.

  Being with them made it more dangerous than not being with them. He’d call Jeremy the following day and get some ideas. He’d hired plenty of drivers and guides and there was security at the venue, but a bodyguard wasn’t something he’d wanted to be hindered by.

  But now that he had his family around, it was a necessity apparently.

  They headed home; the tension between him and Kelly had begun to rise once more. But it was more a build of energy than anger. There were dark and twisty memories littering their history.

  But it wasn’t anger. Or resentment. Since they’d moved into the same bedroom the bitterness of their split had melted away. Day by day. Each time they resolved some problem the ghosts of all that’d remained unsaid for so long had rested a little more.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  “I’D FORGOTTEN,” KELLY SAID once they’d gotten into the elevator heading up to her place.

  “About what?”

  Her fingers twisted with his and where once she’d have felt divided from him, the monster of his fame always ready to spring, this problem was one that felt as if they faced it together.

  But the reality of it had been dulled in the past six weeks. He was at home. In their neighborhood. The houses were on large lots so they had a lot of privacy. Even at the carnival, though he’d been recognized, the other parents had been pretty good about being appropriate.

  The moment they’d arrived at the airport she’d had to remember. They’d waited until the last minute to board but even at that, on the flight they’d been disturbed more than once.

  And then the constant stream of women angling for his attention. Chicks in restaurants offering group sex like it was something normal to do. Camera flash as people shouted her name, a reminder from the driver about a bodyguard.

  This was what being with him entailed. The flip side to the beauty of the music he created. The celebrity that formed a bubble of unreality around a person for a lot of good as well as bad.

  “I wanted to go for drinks,” he said. “I’m sorry about that scene. I should have chosen better.”

  “It wasn’t the restaurant that was the problem. It was a small, private place. It wasn’t a celebrity haunt.”

  They had to stop discussing it until after they’d paid the sitter and had locked up for the night.

  “We can change and have a drink out on the deck.”

  He pulled her close once they got changed.

  “You looked so gorgeous and sexy in that outfit. I’m sorry to see it go. But you’re so beautiful and perfect sometimes it’s like I can’t look at you straight on or risk blindness.”

  No one gave compliments like he did.

  She kissed him. “I have closetsful of clothes. I’ll dress up for you again. Especially if you wear a suit more often.”

  They headed out to the deck outside the bedroom.

  “This looks better than I remembered.” Vaughan settled next to her on the outdoor couch.

  “About five years ago I had a garden architect over for dinner.” His brow arched and she rolled her eyes. “My agent’s husband, who attended with his wife and about eight other people.”

  “I’m trying not to be a dick. I can’t control my face sometimes. I know it’s my fault I wasn’t around. I just see how men look at you and react to you everywhere we go. It makes me all weird.”

  “You were born weird, Vaughan. Anyway, this garden design was his idea. I just told him how I wanted it to feel and went back to Oregon. Three months later I returned and fell in love instantly. This is one of my favorite places to be at the end of a long day.”

  “Plenty of privacy out here, too. I remember that’s why we loved it out here so much.”

  “It really is spectacular how you can associate just about anything to a sexual memory.”

  “What can I say?” He grinned. “You’re memorable.” He sobered. “I’m going to call Jeremy tomorrow to arrange for security when we travel.”

  “At least you know he takes this sort of thing seriously.” Kelly frowned as she recalled the murder of Jeremy’s young daughter and the kidnapping and assault of his wife, who’d been a very high-profile musician at the time.

  The price of fame was something people liked to joke about, or to say celebrities somehow deserved to have their lives torn apart simply because they made music or films.

  Fame had been one of the temptations in her own marriage’s demise. Vaughan’s oldest brother had lost years of his life and success because of addiction.

  Kelly’s kind of fame had been relatively faceless. A silly thing when you thought about her job. But most people didn’t recognize her on the street, especially if she was dressed like a normal person.

  “I already had the security updated at the house. It’s as safe as we can be without living behind walls with guards in towers.”

  “I don’t want that.” There were things she’d given in to, like the private school with good security. The extra precautions she’d taken when the house had been built, including a panic room Vaughan had insisted on.

  Kelly continued, “I’ve given Maddie and Kensey as much of a normal life as I can. As normal as you can get with a rock star for a father, rock stars for uncles and a mom who was a model. They have privilege. But they have friends and dance classes and they don’t have to live in a house with a moat.”

  “What if we found a house in Gresham that’s on more acreage? We could have a gate, but it would be less like a house with a moat? We could build it to our specifications.”

  “I live in a house that was built to my specifications. It’s on three quarters of an acre as it is. It’s not like the house is unsafe. Acreage isn’t why those women sidled up to you tonight after tipping off the paps that we were there.”


  “You’re very stubborn.”

  “I refuse to do useless things to pretend away the real problem. I’ve given up enough of my life and freedom to your goddamn fame. I don’t want your daughters’ lives to be upended. I worked nonstop to give them an existence where they’re not responsible for paying my bills or making me relevant. They don’t have to perform for a roof over their heads and they won’t be doing lines in the bathroom at fifteen because that’s what everyone else in their lives does.”

  His mouth had been open, getting ready to argue with her, but then he stopped abruptly. Instead he reached out, pulling her into his lap to face him. Between his thin sleep pants and hers, all that hardness and heat reacted immediately.

  His hands were in her hair, tugging to expose her neck and breasts to his mouth. He tormented her, licking, biting and sucking her nipples through the material of her tank top.

  Her nails dug into his back after she’d yanked his shirt off.

  He let out a string of curses as he shoved his pants down to free his cock and then yanked her shorts and panties to the side, sliding into her hard and fast.

  And naked. She gasped at the feel of him and then at the expression he wore as he held her still, his hands at her hips squeezing just shy of pain.

  “We good?” He managed to speak, though his gaze had gone blurry and sex-glazed.

  They’d been tested and then tested again but she hadn’t been able to go in and get an IUD yet.

  “I’m not on any birth control other than condoms. As good as this feels...” She had to pause to writhe when he moved slightly and it sent a ripple of sensation outward from her pussy. “I’m not going to play with fire. I had a baby to save a relationship before. It doesn’t work.” Two kids was enough. Maybe forever. But certainly until they were much further along in their relationship.

  He ground his teeth but pulled out. She dashed inside, grabbed a condom and they were back in business within the space of a minute.

  “Love it when you’re on top,” he said as he rained kisses over her cheeks and eyelids. “I can touch all my favorite parts.”