Twisted Love (Blinded Love Series Book 3)

by Stacey Marie Brown

  She was far from the only black girl in school, but she was the only one who hung out with two white boys, part of the supposed “loser-druggie” group. She hadn’t fit where people thought she “belonged,” and it made her even more an outsider. I knew next to nothing about her and had no idea what had drawn them together, but her story intrigued me.

  “Meg.” Jones reached for her wrist, pulling her to him. She frowned but sat down. Jones’s hand didn’t leave hers.

  The door slid open, all of us jumping in our chairs, but it was just a mom and toddler heading for the exit.

  My eyes went to the clock. It could have been days since the baby went into surgery. From the moment I arrived, it felt as if the damn clock had stopped. The cold panic of being in a hospital had me wiggling around like a worm.

  The sharp smell of cleaning products permeated everything. Every wall was empty of anything, like a blank sheet, holding its breath, ready to bounce your fear and heartbreak back at you. Sterile. Unfeeling. It detached you from comfort you longed for. The fluorescent lights cast everyone in a putrid-yellowish tint, creating death in people’s complexion instead of life.

  I could feel my mother’s nails digging into my hand like she was actually sitting next to me now, the memory of her stillness, not able to speak or move as we waited for word on my father, unaware her emotions were leaking out, breaking into my skin.

  “You didn’t have to come.” Jayme grabbed my hand as if she was trying to pin me down. “But thank you. I know how hard it is being here.”

  “Same for you.” My gaze danced between her and Hunter. It wasn’t all that long ago when Hunter’s mom had been here after her suicide attempt or when both Jayme and Hunter lay in broken in pieces and barely holding onto life in this building.

  “Yeah, both here and behind those doors.” She nodded toward the hallway leading to the intensive care unit. “I just went by the water fountain my nurse used to make me walk to. In the beginning, I couldn’t even make it a few steps.” She shook her head. Hunter laced his fingers in hers, and I had to fight rolling my eyes. Seriously, they couldn’t ever stop touching each other. It annoyed me a little, which I knew was petty and silly. They shared so much together. Had the same nightmares, went through so much pain, grief, and heartache together, but that level of intimacy, of trust was something I had never had and knew I never would. Even though I was so happy they finally found their way to each other, I had to look away from all the tenderness in their faces. It made me uncomfortable, spiking irritation up the back of my spine.

  “Maybe I should get us coffee or something.” I needed to do something. Sitting still was hard for me on a good day, which was hilarious, because I was lazy as shit. Figure that one out.

  The doors glided open again and all our heads swung that way. Jason stepped through, looking exhausted, dressed in a surgical gown and cap. It was so odd to see him here. But I guess he was stepping up claiming the baby as his, which was more than Colton had done for Cody. Jason had been part of Emlyn’s life from the moment she was born. Maybe a human being existed underneath his arrogant exterior.

  “Emlyn just got out of surgery.” He pulled the cap off his head with a sigh, running his hands through his short hair. Ex-football star, he was six foot and built, with blond hair, blue eyes, pale skin, and a light scruff. He was a classically clean-cut, good-looking guy you’d find in a magazine. To me he was boring and his personality a complete turnoff, but most girls would drop their panties at the sight of him.

  Clearly Krista had.

  “We won’t know anything for a while, but the doctor said everything went smoothly.” He pinched his lips together, his blond lashes fluttering with emotion. He cleared his throat.

  I realized in that moment not one person stood here for Jason. Not his mother or father, or any of his so-called friends. How mortifying and sad it must be, especially because Krista’s friends, who didn’t care much for him, had been here from the start, doing whatever they needed to do to help.

  This was his child, and as much as I didn’t really like who he had been in high school or how he treated Hunter’s group or Whiskey, I respected he was here, fighting for Emlyn.

  “Krista won’t leave her side.”

  “Can we go back?” Megan took a few steps forward.

  “Not yet.” He twisted the cap in his hands. “Maybe when she wakes up.” He fought back another spurt of emotion. “I know Krista appreciates you all being here, but it will be a while. If you guys want to go, I’ll text you when Emlyn wakes up and we know more.”

  “I’m not leaving.” Megan stomped her foot like she was planting herself in that spot. “Tell her I am here. Okay?”

  Jason nodded, then curved back toward the doors, halting halfway. He turned back to us. “Thank you for being here for them,” he said before disappearing through the doors.

  We all stood there for a moment, not knowing what to do or say.

  “I guess my trip here was pointless,” a voice replied dryly from the other side of the room. My stomach dropped as my head snapped over my shoulder.

  Chris stood there, shorts low on his hips, in a T-shirt and with flip-flops, his hair a mess, and dark circles under his eyes. But still he looked fuckin’ hot, and once again my body betrayed me. My thighs pulsed as my heart leaped, doing the cha-cha against my ribs.

  Then his words sank in.

  What. The. Fuck. “Excuse me?” I snapped.

  “I’m glad the baby is okay. Tell Krista I’m sorry,” he mumbled, then swung around, beelining briskly for the exit.

  Did that just happen?

  I glanced back at all his friends. They stood there with the same shock and hurt look I felt on my own face. Seeing their pain pissed me off even more. How dare he make things worse? My protective nature for the few people I held close rolled my hands into fists.

  “Fuck that,” I growled, not even thinking as I ran after him. I wasn’t as short as Whiskey, and I was thin and barely had any muscle mass to speak of, but you hurt people I cared about, I channeled the Hulk.

  Jogging after him in this heat made my teeth grind together in further outrage.

  “Hey!” I yelled across the parking lot. His restored orange ‘69 Holden Monaro (HG) GTS 350 sat under a shady tree. Yes, I knew what it was only because he told me extensively about it during our time together.

  “It’s the Dukes of Hazzard car, admit it,” I said one night, walking around the car.

  “No, that was a Dodge Charger. Completely separate car.” He blanched, like I’d just insulted the Queen of England to her face. “Were you even alive when that show was on?”

  “My parents loved it.” I shrugged, strolling up to where he leaned on the hood. “Sorry, it’s pretty much the Dukes of Hazzard car.”

  “Now you’re trying to piss me off.” He grinned, twisting his fingers through my belt loops and tugging me between his legs. “It’s totally different.”

  “Sure thing, Roscoe.”

  “If this is a Duke car, then I’m at least one of the hot guys driving it not the dim-witted sheriff.” He nuzzled into my ear, his hot breath sliding down my neck. “And you could be the smokin’ hot girl in the short shorts.”

  “You know she was supposedly their cousin.” My hand moved down his stomach to his pants. “But even as a kid, I knew something was going on between them all.”

  “Well, it is the south.” He laughed, nipping at my skin, tipping my head back.

  “I used to make believe I was Daisy, and there were definitely some improper things going on with those two guys when I played.” I lifted my eyebrow.

  “Really? I would love to know how extensive those little fantasies went.”

  “They were usually in a barn or the car.” I winked. “And with both brothers.”

  “Damn.” He gripped my hips tighter. “Want to show me. I think I need more to go on.”

  “Front seat or back?” I grinned up at him. “Actually, forget that. Both. But I can only do that if
it’s the actual car.”

  A huge wicked smile engulfed his face. “Then my car is absolutely the one from Dukes of Hazzard.”

  We had been in his car a lot together, rarely able to make it back to his place. Seeing it now was like a dagger to my chest. I knew every inch of that car. Front and back. The feel of the leather seats against my bare skin, my hand against the glass. The idea he’d taken other girls in this car made me want to kick a good dent in it... or him.

  “Hey, asshole!” I screamed at his back, only a few paces behind him. His shoulders went up at his ears, motions jerky and quick trying to unlock the door. “I’m talking to you!”

  “No shit.” He swung around, glaring at me. “The one thing not wrong with me is my hearing. It’s not as if you are subtle. Ever. People ten blocks away overheard you nagging at me.”

  My rage flowed like a spring rain. My palm met his chest, shoving him back. He stumbled, slamming back into the car door. We had “wrestled” all the time, mostly in bed, during our time together. He was lean, but pure muscle. I couldn’t budge him unless he wanted me to. Taking him by surprise was the only way I could have done that. Right?

  He grabbed the mirror, trying to regain his footing, his lids lowering into slits.

  “What the fuck, Stevie?”

  “Exactly what I was going to ask you.” I didn’t let up, pushing at him again, but this time he held his ground. “Whatever has crawled up your ass, you better deal with it soon before you lose all your friends.”

  He turned his head to the side, rolling his jaw, nose flaring.

  “You don’t want to talk to me? Or them?” I motioned back to the hospital. “Fine, but talk to someone or figure your shit out. Soon. Because you are walking the line of unforgivable behavior.” His jaw locked down tighter as if I was daring him. I wanted to grab and shake him until sense sank back in. “Don’t be an idiot. Continue on this path and you will lose the people who care about you. You will wake up one day…alone…and will deeply regret it. Believe me.” The last words came out with hidden grief that bobbed up to the surface before I could weigh it back down.

  Emotion discharged swiftly through his eyes then disappeared again. At the sight of the slight gap in his defense, I marched in without invitation.

  “Hey.” I shuffled closer, grabbing his chin, yanking it to look at me. “Talk to me.”

  Brown eyes met mine, searching, lost. I could feel his pain, his soul screaming for someone to grab onto him and not let go. It was something I could recognize because I had felt the same way, if anyone dared look past my anger and walls. But no one had…

  He blinked and it was gone. Irritation creased his face.

  “Jesus…what do you want from me? You’re not my mother, and you are definitely not my girlfriend.” He bumped me out of the way, reaching for the car door. “So fucking back off.”

  “Good thing on both accounts. The first one would be very Oedipus Rex of us…and the second would just be stupid. Of me.”

  “No.” Chris tipped his head, gaze searing into me. “Of me. I learned my lesson the first time.” He swung open the door and climbed into the driver’s seat.

  I reacted before I thought, grabbing the door from him, yanking it back open.

  “Are you kidding me right now?” I exclaimed. “Has your memory been taken by aliens?”

  His head snapped to me.

  “I caught you with someone else.”

  A growl tore from his throat with such force I stumbled back.

  “Go ahead! Make me the bad person.” He stomped toward me, getting right in my face, his fury heating my own animosity. My skin felt every molecule of him invading me without my permission, exposing every nerve. “That’s what you wanted anyway. You were looking for a way out. You got it. Stop pretending you’re the innocent victim here. Because I’m not the ass.” He inched closer. I held my ground, his tall frame looming over me, his mouth only centimeters from mine, stoking the fire and hate inside. “First, we never were exclusive. Fellow players aren’t very good at being gullible pieces on a board. And second…” He seethed, the heat of his lips brushing up against mine. “I caught you with someone else first. Just because she was of the same sex doesn’t mean it didn’t count. Yeah. I was there. I came looking for you…so, I guess that makes you the asshole, Stevie.”

  Chris whipped around, tramping back to his car, where he slammed the door with a bang. I stared after the car as it peeled out of the hospital lot, burning bile rising in my throat.

  A fuzzy memory winged into my consciousness. A party. No one was there I knew, and it was exactly what I was looking for. No one to hold me back or to judge me. I wanted to be free. I had let myself get “domesticated.” Chris had told me he was leaving to go on tour and had no plans to come back for a while.

  The next morning, I woke up on a sofa, a half-dressed girl passed out next to me. I thought I had dreamed Chris walking in. In the dream I had blatantly made out with this girl, stripping off her top, while I stared at him. It had felt good to hurt him, to show he had gotten nowhere near my heart. But waking up the next day, I felt sick. Empty. The high of my dream turned into a nightmare. It was the first time I ever regretted hooking up with someone. Guilt rode my heart all day until I went to his place that night. I realized I missed him. I couldn’t say if I was going to admit my indiscretion or not. I barely remembered it to be honest, but I wanted to see him. Spend the last moments with him.

  That all changed when I walked in to his apartment.

  The TV reflection flickered in the windows of the dark apartment, telling me he was home. Nerves braided around my throat. A sick sensation floated and bobbed in my stomach like a boat in a storm.

  Shake it off, Stevie.

  No matter what I told myself, I couldn’t fight the remorse I experienced. My heart pumped faster in my chest. It’s just Tarzan, so why the hell am I so nervous?

  My toes treaded up the stairs, a weight of guilt pressing down on my chest. We never said we were exclusive. Neither of us dared to make that claim on the other or ourselves, but we had been inseparable since the night at Hunter’s, after the corn maze. No one knew how much time we spent together, and we liked it that way.

  “Tarzan?” I tapped on the door. I could hear the TV from the stoop, but nothing else. “Hey?” I called again, my hand twisting the doorknob. Unlocked, the door cracked open, the TV screen creating heavy shadows in the lightless room across the wall. “Chris?” I stepped in, peering around, my gaze landing on the sofa.

  Ice filled my veins, my mouth parting as I took in a girl straddling Chris on the sofa. Dark curly hair, chocolate skin, familiar beaten-up Doc Martens boots. Holy shit. Chris’s hands were wrapped around her wrists, her hands cupping his face, her mouth moving over his.

  It wasn’t just any girl, but a friend, shoving her tongue down his throat.

  Megan.

  Chris wouldn’t screw up a friendship…not unless it meant something.

  “Oh wow.” It was as though a scythe swiped down, cutting through anything that resembled a heart. I swung around, darting back out the door.

  “Shit!” Chris hissed. “Stevie, wait!”

  At the sound of his voice, I ran faster, sprinting to my car. He was making me run, and I hated exercise. Fumbling for my keys, I could sense his footsteps hitting the pavement behind me, getting closer.

  “Stevie! Wait. Let me explain.” His hand touched my elbow, and I lurched away like he poked me with a cattle prod.

  “Don’t.” I shoved down all the vulnerable emotions tearing at my chest, erecting the walls that made me feel safe and strong. “There’s no reason to.”

  Chris leaned back, his eyes narrowing with confusion. “What?”

  “You can be with whoever you want. We weren’t together. Just a bit of fun. Now you’re leaving and it’s over. That…” I motioned back to his apartment. “Just made it clear.”

  “I’m not the one who made it clear.”

  I brushed off his comment,
simply wanting to get away.

  “Bye, Tarzan. It’s been fun while it lasted.” I reached for my door. He grabbed my arm, spinning me back to him.

  “That’s it? Seriously?” He gritted his teeth, his grip constricting. “That is how you want to end this?”

  “There’s nothing to end.” I wiggled against his hold. “It’s not like either of us do relationships. We aren’t built for being monogamous. Unless…” I eyed the house with a shrug. “You changed your mind. We had our fun, which lasted longer than it probably should have. Good luck with supercross…and her.”

  “Don’t you dare walk away as if it meant nothing to you.” He stepped into me, his jaw twitching. “You think I don’t see through your crap? I know you, Stevie.”

  “No, you don’t. You just think you do because I told you a little about me while we were screwing each other’s brains out.” I yanked my arm free. “You. Know. Nothing.”

  “Because you won’t let me!”

  “As if you let me?” I scoffed. “Please. We’re the same. That’s why this worked for a while, but at the same time will never work.” I cleared my throat. “Let’s not make this more than what it was. We fucked. We had fun. Now it’s over.” I climbed into the car.

  “Stevie…” He fisted his hands but didn’t move as I shut the door. I pulled out, not daring to look at him until I was on the road. I could see him in my rearview mirror, his face emotionless, his body rigid. Then he turned away, strolling back for his place, like he realized whatever we had was easy to walk away from, too.

  Except it wasn’t.

  I had to turn it off, go back to that girl who had fun and didn’t get serious, because this girl would pull me back down into the darkness. I wasn’t strong enough to handle any more sorrow.