Risk (BDSM Dominant submissive Romance): Everything to lose. Everything to gain.

by Mia Moore

  She stomped into her bedroom and unpacked her bag. Angrily she stowed the stay ups and sexy bra in her dresser drawer. It’ll be a long time till I wear those again! Lot of good THEY did.

  The hell with it- the hell with him! I’m not going to sit here mooning over him. Fine. I’m not sexy enough to entice him. I’m going to the gym. So there. She changed into her jeans and sweater, picked up her gym bag and strode back out the door, grabbing her umbrella at the last minute.

  She was still hurt and angry as she walked to her gym and even as she started her exercises. Ladylike’s voice was niggling in her head. He said you were special. He said that you were hot. And he was pretty turned on last night. It’s not you, it’s him. And it’s because YOU'RE special. He loves you silly. He can’t treat you like any other woman he’s dated because he loves you.

  Jessica smiled at this thought and pedaled the stationary bike faster. Yes, of course. That’s got to be it. HE LOVES ME! She gritted her teeth. That BETTER be the reason!

  Her feet slowed as a new thought entered her brain. How do I feel about him? Do I love him back?

  She finished on the bike and moved to the weights still trying to sort through her feelings.

  I haven’t known him long enough to love him. It takes time to really know someone. He never even told me about his parents, why his grandmother raised him. I really, really like him…but love…maybe too soon. But what about love at first sight? How does that happen?

  She finished her exercise routine. She owed him an apology. Once more, she felt a trace of embarrassment. What a fool I am. Why didn’t I stay so we could’a talked this through?

  A much happier and peaceful Jessica walked home. The rain had stopped and the sun was beginning to peek through breaks in the clouds.

  She slipped off her coat and hung it over a kitchen chair to dry off. Picking up her phone, she dialed his number.

  He answered on the third ring, “Hello.”

  “Hi Craig. I’m sorry. I feel like such an ass. I shouldn’t have got mad and left. You were actually paying me a compliment and I was too dumb to see it at the time. Forgive me?”

  The frozen lump of muscle that was Craig’s heart began to melt as he listened to her. “Yeah I forgive you. You must have some Irish blood in that silly head of yours.”

  “No Irish. English background and they can be pretty pig headed too. I feel so foolish.”

  “Can’t be English. You looked like Maureen O’Hara with the flashing eyes. You kinda looked sexy if ya want the truth. Maybe you should catch a cab and come back. I’ll make you dinner! I know you’re always hungry and you don’t cook. Whadda ya say?”

  “Well…you ARE a good cook. But I just got home from the gym. I need a shower first.”

  “Jessica, if you’re coming over, I want you now. Shower later, here.”

  “Okay. You talked me into it. See you in twenty minutes.”

  She called a cab once more, grabbed her gym bag with her fresh clothes and scampered out the door.

  Mrs. Vaughn was just passing by in the hallway. “You’re off again? Didn’t I just hear you come in? You might want to freshen up if you’re going to see that handsome man again.” She smiled at Jessica.

  “Later, Mrs. Vaughn.” With a wave, she flew down the stairs.

  ***

  Craig was waiting at the door when she arrived. He opened it and took her into his arms, kissing the top of her head.

  “I’m glad you’re here. I just put a roast in the oven. It won’t be ready for an hour.”

  “Now what can we do while we wait? I bet I can beat you at Scrabble. Do you have a Scrabble board?” She reached up on her tippy toes to plant a kiss on his lips.

  Craig kissed her and rubbed himself close to her body, suggestively.

  Talk about mixed messages. One minute he’s pushing me away. The next he’s grinding into me. Make up your mind Craig. You’re driving me nuts. Her body responded.

  “No Scrabble, although I would pulverize you. I’ve got another game in mind. We can play it in the bedroom.” He helped her out of her coat and hung it up before leading her up both set of stairs.

  When they reached the door of his bedroom, she hesitated. “I need to take a quick shower. I’m sweaty from the gym.”

  He turned and cupped her face in his hands, looking intently into her eyes. “I want you Jessica. I want to taste YOU, not soap. I want to smell YOUR essence, not perfume. Give this gift to me, your Dom.”

  She stared into his eyes. He was edging to a new depth of intimacy. Asking her to reveal herself at a primal level, trusting that he would accept and cherish her in this new vulnerability.

  She stepped into the bedroom and removed her clothes. Waiting for Craig’s direction, feeling aroused once more, she sat on the bed. He continued watching her as he undressed. Her eyes drank in the sight of him, his long muscular legs, the hollow on the side of his butt, the lean torso and wide shoulders. And of course, her eyes lingered on his cock standing up to attention.

  He climbed on the bed, kneeling beside her and pushing her shoulders so that she lay straight next to him. He turned around, positioning his body and his mouth above her pelvis. Her mouth opened, reaching for his erect penis. His hands spread Jessica’s legs as his head descended between them.

  They laid together, their mouths exploring their most sensitive areas, savoring, delighting in the taste and arousal of the other. Their tongues and mouths joined them as one. Jessica churned her hips as he probed her intimate depths with his fingers. She sighed and fell into the abyss of pleasure, just a few seconds before Craig fell with her, calling her name.

  He rose and lay beside her, cradling her in his arms, rocking her gently. She kissed him, smelling her faint scent on his beard.

  “That was a first for me,” He held her close.

  “You've never done sixty-nine before? Who’re you trying to kid?” Her fingers lid along the taut muscles of his back.

  “No, not that. I mean, yeah, kind of that. It's always been great foreplay, but I've never orgasmed during it. And to orgasm almost at the same time…”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean now; same here…”

  In that moment, it sunk in, how much he cared for her. She was accepted and safe in his arms. And she began to understand why he’d said he wasn’t ready. Intercourse, when it happened, would be elevated to making love, not just having sex.

  Craig jerked upward when the timer in his oven rang, announcing that their roast was ready. “Time to get up lady. The roast beef is done. Actually I’m feeling done too.”

  Jessica started humming an old Beatles tune. “She done me good.”

  “Not good. The best. And after dinner, I'll show you how Scrabble is played before I drive you home.”

  Chapter 11

  Lacking trust funds, lottery winnings, or other income, they each faced a hectic work week with heavy schedules, and strict deadlines. Jessica would be out late on assignment, attending performances followed by hob-nobbing with celebrities. Craig, an early riser, wrote during the day and couldn't be disturbed. This week he was wooing an unresponsive Muse as he worked on his latest book.

  Dinner? Out of the question. Even simple phone calls were a challenge. What may appear to others as the glamorous life-style of urban professionals, to them felt more like a hamster wheel.

  Jessica needed to have three articles prepared and submitted to her editor by close of business Friday. This entailed her attending various venues for three different events. For the past two years she had truly enjoyed her job- the concerts, plays and other performances were for the most part enjoyable. But in the weeks since meeting Craig, the demands of her job began to interfere with her personal life in a way she hadn't expected.

  Post performance press receptions weren't something she enjoyed; but she was required to 'show the flag' on behalf of her magazine. Being attractive and single, she was hit on at least twice at each affair. She had learned a few years earlier, that there was a constant co
nflict of interest in prospective paramours- always an agenda in schmoozing her in order to get attention from a nationally published magazine. She had adopted an armor of professional detachment early on that kept those wolves at bay. Since meeting Craig, any guy who approached her on a personal level found himself silently evaluated and found wanting. Hollywood stars and industry insiders all were judged lacking in the hottie department when compared to him.

  The irony that their relationship started as a pick up at an event she had been assigned to was not lost on her. Her impression that he was a fellow correspondent earned him the latitude that lowered her defenses. She had been doing the happy dance ever since.

  Oblivious to Craig's struggles, Jessica glided through her work week. That a good looking, sophisticated and successful pundit respected, desired, and brought such laughter into her life, added to her sense of well being.

  Their discussions, which often became debates, were stimulating for each of them. Sure, debating with a PhD was a challenge sometimes, but he never, dismissed her arguments. He respected her instead. During their Scrabble game on Sunday they had gone off on a tangent debating the implications of the income gap and the merits of a Mandated Minimum Income as government policy.

  It ended with Craig grousing “Thanks a LOT! Now I have to revise two damn chapters!” Although he was laughing as he said it.

  The game brought back memories for her. Rainy Sunday afternoons, playing with her parents, watching as some odd word would halt the game while they digressed into some discussion. Jessica had remained quiet on Sunday with Craig while she relived that memory. But the similarity of the dynamic, a word sparking a discussion, warmed her heart.

  And the laughter they had shared. She enjoyed the puzzled look on his face after one of her ‘out of the blue’ comments and his guffaw when he realized the joke was on him. So many guys had a hard time laughing at themselves; it took a man with confidence to be able to do so.

  His approach in sexuality and intimacy transformed sex into a novel experience. She didn't consider herself promiscuous by any stretch of the imagination, but she had been around the block more than a few times at her age. The kinky stuff was fun, but there was more to it. That he had wanted her, when she was still sweaty from the gym, melted her inhibitions and replaced them with a deeper understanding of desire.

  He found her hot. Very hot. His throbbing arousals confirmed that time and again! Even with his hesitancy to go all the way. She still didn’t completely understand it, although, she wanted to believe his claim of 'waiting to make it special' and all that. Even so, his unique strategy was making her climb the walls…

  She looked forward (in a scared to death sort of way) to their adventure at Paradox's on Friday. In Costa Rica, she had felt similar butterflies when she zip-lined; petrified as she stepped off the five hundred foot high platform.

  She was ready to launch again. Craig would catch her.

  All in all, she could really fall for this guy. Who was she kidding? She already had! And it was wonderful.

  ***

  Craig, on the other hand was feeling anything but well being. Where Jessica was gliding through her hectic week, Craig's was filled with pressure and apprehension.

  That goddam Scrabble game! His editor and buddy Bob had been breathing down Craig's neck for the next two chapters of his new book. Now Craig had to not only get them out, he had another bunch of re-writes! As much as he tried to counter Jessica's points, there was soundness in her logic. Why the hell he hadn't picked up her position in his research was an indictment of the narrow-minded attitudes of other academics. On top of his current work, he now had to revise his Introduction and rewrite a chapter that had been already done!

  Goddam Scrabble.

  And, to add insult to injury, she had clobbered him in the game!

  As if his schedule wasn't crazy enough, he and Bob were planning on jumping ship from their present publishing house to Doubleday. This book was going to be their admission ticket into that company's marketing muscle. Bob believed this latest book could land him into the milieu of the real cognoscente- especially as it dealt with Canada and their cousin south of the border. It had worked for Dave Frum after all. Craig would be on the Sunday morning talk shows. Hell, he might even be on Oprah! Frum never made it to Oprah!

  Bob had set up meetings with Doubleday for following week. And the New York Times wanted to see him, and toots sweet! He was to meet them the day after the Doubleday meeting. Craig needed to prep for the meeting with the Times and bring a set of articles. They wanted him to become a regular contributor. Frum never had a regular gig with The Grey Lady!

  He had a mountain of work to do, and had just a week to get it done. He was frazzled. Too damn bad he didn't have an assistant like Jessica’s Brenda to help him out. And what the hell were those two going to talk about at their Friday lunch anyway? And Brenda was seeing Sleeze? What the hell was that all about?

  And speaking of what the hell… What the HELL was with Jessica suggesting they drive to Kingston to see her parents? She wants him to MEET THE PARENTS?

  WHAT THE BLOODY HELL?

  He didn't want to meet the parents! He wasn't ready to meet the parents! He'd never be ready to meet the parents! For the love of God, he hadn't even had full blown SEX with her yet, and she wants him to MEET THE PARENTS?

  And WHAT THE HELL was that all about anyway? He should have nailed Jessica a bunch of times by now! WHAT THE HELL was up with him that he keeps holding the hell off?

  He sure hadn't held off from getting laid when he and Josee met, did he? Noooo! They were in the sack within three hours of being introduced! Josee…

  He never had to MEET HER PARENTS! Okay, parent- Josee had been brought up by her single mom and all that, but still! And he and Josee were together for two years!

  Two years. Yeah. Until the dry spell hit. After two years of the good life with his first book, when his second book didn't rocket up the chart as they expected, they had to scale back on the good life. Not so many dinners out, not so many four star vacations. After three months of belt tightening, Craig had suggested that Josee get a job and help out financially. She just looked vacantly at him when he had said it.

  Three days after that, he had come home to a note on the table, and empty closets. She didn't want to struggle financially, she had met a guy.

  Sure, Craig had never said the 'L' word to Josee… but a lousy note?

  Years earlier, when his marriage to Heather ended, she accused him of not being loving enough. “It's more like a business deal than a marriage, Craig, and it's time for me to find another supplier,” was the quote that he could still recall.

  And that was his wife!

  The last time Craig had said the 'L' word was when his Mom had walked out on him and his sister. He was just a kid in elementary school, and had cried and cried “Mom! Don't leave! I love you!” And all the 'L' words in the world- from her own kid even- weren't enough to get her to stay.

  And then… oh man… two weeks before starting university, his sister had also left. She moved to the States and wouldn't tell him where. She had said she needed to cut the cord with their screwed up family, had to find her own path, and he had to find his own way.

  “We were gonna stick together through thick and thin!” He’d cried to her. “We're brother and sister! Don't you love me?” She replied that she had spent nine years being more like a mother than sister, and all her love had got used up. She wished him the best of luck, and left too.

  You know, you are SO getting ahead of yourself, Forsyth. It's been just three weeks, man! Sure Jessica's a lot of laughs... The sound of Jessica's laughter rang in his ears- it was almost musical. He shut that realization down in a hurry and continued his train of thought…

  Except she WAS funny! That comment- “Why vanilla and not mayonnaise?” the night they met still made him snicker…

  Stop it! Just enjoy the good times while they last, Okay? Just enjoy the ride, dude- you ain't gettin
g any younger! Maybe this time, when you guys break up, you can sort of stay friends, who knows?

  Yeah. Right.

  On Monday, Craig's alarm woke him at his usual 4:45 AM. He’d had a restless night's sleep. He went rowing, and when he returned home he booted his laptop up. There was an email from her, sent just before she had left for work that morning. He read:

  Hey Craig,

  How’s my favorite kinky writer, this fine morning? Had a great time with you on the weekend! Please Sir…can I’ve some more? And speaking of kink, I’m really warming up to the idea of Paradox’s on Friday night. My not so subtle reminder to get the tickets…

  Will call you tonight after the symphony, shortly after ten. They're doing Bach, and I love Bach! Have a great day.

  TTYL Jessica.

  He quickly shot off a reply.

  Hey Jessica:

  About to start working after spending an hour on the water. A glorious day for a Monday! Enjoy the hi-brow music tonight. More a rock ‘n roll and blues man myself. I’ll be happy to accompany you if you ever review the Stones. No need to thank me, just one more thing I’d suffer through for my little subbie.

  And speaking of suffering, (yours that is) will call Paradox’s today.

  They're playing Bach, tonight, eh? Anything like Bocci Ball? I've heard it, but never played it! Nyuk Nyuk!

  You can count me out of any classical recitals. Unless you want to make a deal and go to a Jay's game w/me?

  How’s Brenda? Is she able to walk straight after her weekend with Eddie? And speaking of her, how many details do you gals exchange at your Friday lunch soirees anyway?

  If you're coming home after 10:00, I'll have been asleep for about an hour or so. How about an email instead? We can chat on the phone maybe Wed?

  Craig

  Returning home after the concert, Jessica’s heart fell when she learned that she wouldn’t be talking to him. He had left a voice mail at her work number telling her his schedule this week, so she wasn't too surprised, but still felt a bit let down. They'd have to sort this out down the road for sure.