She gave me a gentle smile. ‘Thank you. Josh said he’d told you. It was a dark time for us both but I’m so much happier and fulfilled with life as it is now so, weird as it sounds, I’d go through it all again to be where I am today. I have moments, of course, where I miss my marriage but counselling helped me realise it was more about missing the companionship than missing the marriage itself because, quite honestly, we didn’t have the most successful one and…’ She paused and frowned at me. ‘You look surprised.’
I realised my mouth was wide open and quickly closed it. ‘Sorry. It’s just that I always got the impression from Josh that things were great between you and Paul. He said there were ups and downs like in most marriages but it was predominantly good which made it all the more shocking that his dad had strayed.’
‘The first ten years of our marriage were pretty amazing. We had our moments. What relationship doesn’t? But we were really happy together and so perfect together. At first.’
‘So what went wrong?’ I ventured when she fell silent.
‘Oh gosh, Samantha, everything and nothing. We hit our thirties and things started to unravel. Looking back, I think we might have married too young, before we’d developed into the people we were meant to become. I could list a hundred things that we felt differently about and none of them in isolation were significant but, add them all together, and it was a big issue. Two best friends suddenly had nothing in common except their son and that wasn’t enough to make our marriage work.’
‘I’m so sorry. It must have been hard realising that.’
‘The problem was that I didn’t realise it at the time and if Paul did, he never voiced it. We argued a lot, although never in front of Josh, then we started doing our own thing. He’d go out to pubs with his friends and I’d go out for meals or to the theatre with my friends or Lauren. We even sometimes holidayed separately. Having so much time apart stopped the bickering and I thought we’d found the secret to a happy marriage. The reality was that I’d made it really easy for my husband to have an affair without me suspecting a thing. I can’t be mad with him for finding the missing part of our relationship with someone else. Our marriage was over before he ever met Beth but neither of us wanted to admit it.’
‘This might sound cheeky but would you mind sharing that with Josh? He’s so angry with his dad and I completely understand why, especially after what he told me about what happened to you. I’m just wondering if he might feel a tiny bit less hurt if he knew that your marriage wasn’t as good as he thought.’
Connie nodded eagerly. ‘More than happy to do that. It’s hard seeing how much he resents his dad, especially when it was my moment of darkness that deepened his anger. If you think it might help, I’m all for trying it.’
29
Samantha
Saturday was a big day at Hedgehog Hollow with nine of our seventeen adult hogs leaving us. Four were being collected to be released where they’d originally been found and the other five would be let go on the farm which, with the woods, pastures and hedgerows providing food and nesting opportunities, couldn’t be more ideal for them.
‘What time’s the first collection due?’ Josh asked. It was mid-morning and I was giving the barn windows a wash, enjoying the warmth of the sun on my bare arms.
‘Any time now.’ I glanced towards the farm track. ‘And that’s probably them.’
But it wasn’t.
A pale-faced woman exited the car and thrust a large shoebox at me. ‘My stupid bloody husband did this,’ she said, her voice shaking. ‘It might already be too late to save him. Damn strimmer.’
She ran back to her car and, with a spin of her wheels on the gravel, she disappeared down the track.
‘I hardly dare look,’ I said to Josh, my pulse racing.
In the barn, I lifted the lid and winced at the blood-soaked kitchen towel inside. I peeled the layers back but there was nothing I could do. The poor hedgehog had already long gone, a deep welt across both its back and stomach.
I sank onto the chair, sadness engulfing me. Why was everyone in such a rush these days? Why couldn’t people take five minutes to check there was no wildlife resting among tall grass or weeds before wielding their strimmers or starting their mowers? Too many poor creatures lost their lives in this way and it was so unnecessary.
‘Rest in peace, little one,’ I whispered. I was determined not to cry. In the space of two days, I was already feeling so much stronger and more relaxed but my resolve broke as soon as Josh wrapped his arms round me.
‘All you can do is educate people, Sammie,’ he said, his voice soft and understanding. ‘But you’ll never be able to save them all.’ He kissed the top of my head. ‘Why don’t you get some air and I’ll deal with this?’
I wiped my eyes, nodded, and stepped out of the barn. Another vehicle was on its way down the track so I took a deep calming breath and readied myself to deal with whatever it contained – hopefully not another dead, mutilated hedgehog. I smiled with relief when I recognised the man who got out of the car as someone picking up a hedgehog for release – something positive instead.
It was only later that I realised Josh had called me Sammie for the first time ever. Only Dad, Gramps, Thomas and Chloe – pre-rift – had ever called me that. I loved hearing Josh use it. Somehow it made me feel even more loved.
The rest of the day was non-stop comings and goings. The other three release hogs were picked up but were replaced by three more arrivals. It struck me that they were the first new adults we’d had all week. The breathing space had been welcome.
I chose Harry Potter characters for our new arrivals but couldn’t bring myself to name one Harry because of my ex. Potter had a dog bite which was thankfully not too deep, Hermione was severely hydrated and had a bad flystrike infestation and Ron had been found in a pond, desperately scrabbling to get out. Hedgehogs can swim but get into trouble when there’s no means of easily exiting the water – another thing to educate the community about. I decided to ask Dave whether one of his joiner friends could knock together some hedgehog ramps that I could sell and hopefully save a few more lives while raising vital funds.
‘You called me Sammie earlier,’ I said when Josh and I took a well-earned break on Thomas’s bench shortly before 6 p.m.
‘It slipped out. I wasn’t sure whether you’d noticed or whether you’d like it.’
‘I didn’t register until later but I loved you calling me that.’
‘Sammie it is, then.’ He kissed me tenderly. As we snuggled on the bench, listening to birdsong, everything finally felt right in my world.
I pricked up my ears at the sound of several vehicles pulling into the farmyard. ‘Sounds like more visitors.’
Josh smiled. ‘Not ones needing treatment this time, though.’
‘What have you been up to?’ I asked, moving to the edge of the farmhouse for a clear view of the farmyard. I grinned as I recognised all three cars.
‘You’ve perked up so much over the past couple of days that I thought you might like a congratulations-on-your-new-career barbeque,’ he said, putting his arm round my shoulders.
I cuddled to his side. ‘That’s a lovely idea. But we don’t actually have a barbeque or any food to cook on one.’
‘It’s all in hand.’
We wandered over to the cars to welcome Rich and Dave, Dad, Lauren and Connie, and Hannah and Toby.
‘No Amelia?’ I asked Hannah and Toby after I’d given out hugs.
‘Toby’s sister offered to babysit so we’re baby-free this evening and I can’t wait to have a drink. This will be my first glass of wine since I discovered I was pregnant.’
‘She nearly opened the bottle in the car,’ Toby said.
‘Can you blame me? It’s been a long haul.’
Fifteen minutes later, an eclectic mix of deck chairs and camping chairs were spread across the back garden, several takeaway barbeques were lit and everyone was mingling with drinks. Connie and Lauren had arrived with potato salad, homemade co
leslaw and a large wooden bowl full of chopped salad, Hannah had marinated kebabs, Rich and Dave had made burgers from scratch and there was a mountain of other food and drink spread across a couple of makeshift tables constructed from planks of wood resting on two breezeblock stacks.
Lauren raised her voice. ‘Now that everyone’s got a drink, I’d like to propose a toast.’ She lifted her drink in the air. ‘She’s been a superb tutor and I know from her previous boss that she was an amazing nurse so I have no doubt she’s going to excel in her new role as hedgehog whisperer. To Sam!’
Everyone echoed her toast and clinked their drinks against mine.
‘Thank you,’ I said, grinning at them all. ‘And thank you for this amazing spread. It’s been a manic day with hedgehog releases, new arrivals and, sadly, one we couldn’t save, and this couldn’t have been a more perfect way to end it.’
Dave took me aside a couple of minutes later. ‘My Uncle Alex was asking after the hoglets. His cub pack are doing a badge and he wants to get some photos to show them how they’ve changed since Tuesday. I hope you don’t mind but I told him I’d be here tonight and he said he might swing by at about seven. Is that okay?’
‘He’s welcome anytime. Why don’t you invite him for food? There’s loads so he might as well join us if he hasn’t already eaten.’
‘Nice one. I’ll give him a call.’
‘Before you do, can I just check you’re okay after the tough night on Tuesday?’
He smiled and nodded. ‘I’m good. Cheers. I’m not sure what came over me. A mixture of sadness he’d died but also amazement at watching you in action. I’m so proud of you, kiddo.’
‘Aw, Dave. That’s so sweet.’ I gave him a big hug.
Dave and I met Alex in the farmyard a little later.
‘I love barbeques,’ Alex said. ‘I have gifts to say thanks for the invite.’ He opened the back door and handed me a bag which, from the clinking, presumably contained bottles. ‘Dave, can you get the bag out of the other side? I’ve brought some food for the hedgehogs too.’
‘Thank you. That’s much appreciated. Did Dave tell you we lost three of them?’
‘Yes. I wasn’t sure if you’d manage to save any so it’s brilliant that there are still two. Not that I don’t think you’re capable of saving them. I didn’t mean it that way.’
I gave him a reassuring smile. ‘Don’t worry. I know exactly what you meant. Unfortunately, the odds were stacked against them the minute their mum left them.’
We stepped into the barn.
‘Do you think more would have survived if I’d brought them in sooner?’ Alex asked, obvious concern in his voice.
‘There’s no way of knowing so please don’t dwell on it. If you’d brought them in the day before then mum reappeared looking for her babies, that wouldn’t have been good. It’s really hard to know what to do for the best. The way to look at it is that your actions saved two and that’s amazing. Are you ready to see how much they’ve grown?’
It was lovely watching the expression on Alex’s face as I took Solo out of his crate and placed him in Alex’s hands.
‘Are you welling up, Uncle Alex?’ Dave asked, winking at me.
‘I can’t help it,’ Alex said, sniffing. ‘I feel like a proud father seeing how much my baby’s grown.’
I handed Leia to Dave. ‘I’m going to mix some formula so you can both have a go at feeding them, if you’d like.’ I thought it might be especially good for Dave to feed one of them so his lasting memory was a more positive one.
Watching two huge bearded men handling my two little hoglets with such tenderness gave me a warm and fuzzy feeling. They struggled with the feeding at first, squirting more of it over their gloves and the fleecy blankets than the hoglets consumed but they soon found their stride. Alex handed me his phone and I took several photos of him feeding them and some close-ups of Leia and Solo.
‘Did your grandsons enjoy telling the other cubs about the hoglets?’ I asked Alex.
‘They were in their element but I’m apparently a bad granddad because my other grandchildren haven’t seen them so I’ve had to promise they’ll get to see these pictures before Charlie and Oscar.’
‘How many grandchildren have you got?’
‘Six and a seventh on the way.’ His eyes twinkled as he ran through their names and ages. It was obvious that he adored being a grandfather.
‘I bet they keep you busy.’
‘They certainly do but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’ve always adored kids.’
‘Probably wouldn’t be a good idea to be a cub leader if you didn’t.’
He laughed. ‘Fair point. They were desperate for leaders when my son joined. I said I’d help out temporarily. Twenty-six years later, I’m still there.’
I smiled at him. ‘It’s great that there are people like you willing to give up their time like that.’
He talked about how rewarding he found it and how his two daughters ran the younger group – beavers – and his son led the scouts pack.
‘My wife used to run cubs with me too so it was a proper family set-up.’
‘She doesn’t run it anymore?’ I asked.
‘We’re divorced. It was amicable but she had other interests and it made sense for her to step down as leader to pursue those. I’m still a leader short if you know anyone who’d be interested.’
‘I’ll keep my ears peeled.’
There was something about the way Alex spoke and the wistful expression on his face that reminded me so much of Thomas. When I’d stumbled into his life, Thomas had eked out a heartbreakingly lonely existence for twenty years without his beloved wife, Gwendoline, by his side. I felt that same loneliness emanating from Alex. He clearly had a large family whom he adored and a busy life but he presumably went home alone.
‘Hello?’ a voice called from the doorway. ‘Are you in here, Samantha?’
‘Come in, Connie,’ I called. ‘We’re down the end.’
‘I’ve been sent with a ten-minute warning for food,’ she said, approaching the table. ‘Oh my goodness, are these the hoglets?’
Alex held his hand out. ‘Do you want to hold one?’
‘Do I need gloves on?’ she asked, looking at me.
‘Yes please, and can I get you to wash your hands first?’
All sorted, Connie returned to the table and slipped into the chair next to Alex. ‘It just shows how deceptive photos can be. They didn’t look this small from the pictures Josh showed me.’
‘Alex, this is Connie, my boyfriend Josh’s mum. Connie, this is Alex, Dave’s uncle who brought the hoglets to us.’
‘And this is Solo,’ he said placing the hoglet in Connie’s outstretched hand.
They looked up and smiled at each other, then both frowned as a flicker of recognition moved over their faces.
‘Have we met before?’ Alex asked.
‘I was just thinking the same,’ Connie responded.
Dave and I exchanged amused glances as they ran through a list of possibilities – where they lived, worked, schools and clubs their children had attended – but couldn’t seem to find a connection.
‘How funny,’ Connie said. ‘We must both have one of those faces.’ She turned her attention to Solo. ‘I absolutely adore babies – animal or human – so I’m in my element here. I could gaze at this little beauty all evening.’
‘Anytime you fancy pulling an all-nighter, you give me a shout,’ I joked.
An hour later, I’d scoffed more than I’d eaten in the whole of the past week. I plonked myself down next to Josh on Thomas’s bench and rubbed my full stomach.
‘Thank you for tonight. It’s been perfect.’
He put his arm round me and I rested my head on his shoulder. ‘It’s been good fun, hasn’t it? It’s the perfect venue for an evening outdoors. Lots of space and no neighbours to disturb.’
‘We’ll have to make it a regular thing, then.’
‘Sounds good. But I’m thinking we mig
ht need some outdoor furniture and a barbeque. How about I order some furniture in the same design as Thomas’s bench? We’ll call it my moving in gift to us both. I’ll get a barbeque too.’
I snuggled closer to him. ‘I’d love that. Thank you.’
My eyes were drawn towards Dad and Lauren, clinging onto each other as they laughed hysterically at something that Rich had said. ‘I still can’t decide about those two. Dad swears it’s platonic but they’re very touchy-feely and he was never like that with Mum.’ I sighed. ‘Maybe he was in the early days before I came along and ruined their happy marriage.’
Josh tightened his hold and kissed the top of my head. ‘I’m sure them falling apart wasn’t your fault.’
‘It is the way Mum tells it.’ I shook my head. ‘I don’t want to talk about her. So what do you think about my dad and your Auntie Lauren?’
He watched them for a few more moments. ‘I think it might be wishful thinking. I honestly think they’re just really comfortable together and great friends.’
‘You’re probably right.’
My gaze shifted to Connie and Alex, deep in conversation, big smiles on their faces. ‘They think they’ve met before but they can’t place it. I hate it when that happens.’
‘Me too. If the recognition’s mutual, they’ll probably work it out eventually.’
I smiled as Alex laughed loudly at something Connie said and she placed her hand on his forearm. Could that be the start of something? I hoped so. If her relationship with Paul had run its course long before it actually ended, she was way overdue some attention and, from what I’d seen of him so far, she could do a lot worse than Alex.
30
Josh
The sound of a phone ringing on Sunday morning interrupted my dreams and by the time I’d stirred enough to register that it was my phone, it had stopped. I turned over and reached for it. One missed call from CHEAT. Also childish but, as with him, mild compared to what I could have put.
New Arrivals at Hedgehog Hollow Page 16
