I sat down on the bed and dropped my head into my hand.
“Can we meet?” Jacob asked. “In private, because now they’ll all be jumping to conclusions if they see us together.”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Where?”
“I’ll find somewhere and send you a location.
He hung up. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. When I looked in the mirror, last night’s makeup was smudged around my eyes and my hair was a mess. Great.
When I arrived at the place Jacob had sent me the location for, it was a diner that looked like it had survived from the sixties. Neon lighting above the entrance told me I was at the Moonlight Diner, and when I walked in, blue stools at a retro counter with black and white checkered floors looked like something straight out of Back to the Future.
Jacob sat in a corner, wearing a hood. He was easily noticeable because he looked so damn suspicious. I walked to him and sat down.
“How are you?” I asked.
Jacob shook his head. “I should be asking you the same question. My reputation was already questionable, but yours … it’s all down the drain now.”
I sighed. “I’m trying not to think about it too much. What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know,” Jacob said. “Whatever it is, though, we have to do it soon. It’s both our careers. The only plus point is that it’s got nothing to do with aggression or violence, so looking at it that way, it’s not as bad as it could have been for me. But it’s still bad.”
I nodded. It wasn’t good at all. And he was caught sleeping with his PR manager. It brought everything I did into question, everything I had done so far to help his image. If it was that easy to get into my pants, everyone would believe that I did what I did as a sexual favor and not because it was my job or because I believed in my client.
Dammit, why was sex so complicated? I’d slept with Jacob because I liked it, because he was a nice person and he made me feel good about myself. Now, the world would add all sorts of meanings to it that had nothing to do with anything, and no one would ask me what I was really about.
But that was the point, wasn’t it? It was why my job existed in the first place. And now? I needed a PR manager to sort myself out, too. And I was fresh out of options.
Chapter 24 – Jacob
It was time to go home. After all the shit with the press and what had surfaced with me and Kina, I’d had another game. The game had gone just as well as the one on Friday. Even though there were rumors about me doing the rounds, something I was getting used to with all the so-called scandal in my life, the team was still on my side a lot more than I’d expected.
Brian and Hanson were sympathetic about what had happened because they’d both been there. The team hadn’t pushed me away.
I was glad to go home, though. The rumors and stories wouldn’t disappear, of course, but being in the comfort in my own home when everything was up in the air seemed so much easier than being in the hotel.
On Monday, I made my way to Nova Southeastern University where the Florida Sharks trained. I parked in a parking bay and walked inside, getting a mineral water from the cafeteria before heading to the gym.
In the gym, I got onto the treadmill and started running. I had a lot of frustration to run away from, and I needed the outlet. With my career being all about the shape I was in, I couldn’t exactly drink myself into a stupor to forget about my problems.
So, I pushed the treadmill hard, my legs eating up the virtual distance. I kept going until my thighs screamed at me, and I could barely breathe around the burn in my lungs.
When I finally stopped running, the tension wasn’t exactly gone, but I couldn’t do more.
“That’s impressive,” someone said behind me, and I turned to see my coach leaning against the wall next to the door. “I knew your fitness was back on par, but that was a long ass haul.”
I got off the treadmill, downed the bottle of water and found a towel to mop up the sweat on my face and neck. Coach Rudi walked toward me.
“You’re doing well, son,” he said. “I was impressed by your games this weekend. The Stallions played hard, but you guys played harder, and I saw how much you added to the team.”
“Thanks, Coach,” I said. I had braced myself for a lecture and here he was, paying me compliments.
“You keep up the good work, and I foresee a great season ahead for the Sharks.”
I nodded. Coach clapped me on the back before he turned to walk away. He stopped halfway to the door and looked over his shoulder.
“It would be nice if you could get your scandals under control, though. I swear, I have the team with the most drama in this damn league.” He shook his head. “And evidently the good looking men in all of professional football, because, I’ll be damned, it’s always about my players and women.” He looked at me. “Try to contain it.”
I nodded, feeling like an idiot. “Yes, Coach.”
He nodded once at me and turned around, walking away. If I hadn’t been in the middle of a scandal of my own, I would have chuckled at what the coach had said. It was true, there were always rumors about one of the Sharks’ players and a woman. Maybe he was right. Maybe we were all smoking hot. Or we were just idiots.
The jury was still out on that one.
I showered and got dressed before I tried to phone Kina. I wanted to talk to her, see if she was doing okay. I had no idea what the repercussions were for her, if she was coping with the backlash at all. Her reputation was a whole different story than mine.
When the call rolled over to her voicemail, I tried again. The second time, I gave up. I was starting to worry about her. I doubted she would just stop talking to me. We were in this together after all, but it was at the back of my mind. I was overreacting, I told myself, but she wasn’t taking my calls.
Or maybe she was just busy, I told myself.
My phone rang and I grabbed it, answering straight away.
“Kina?”
“Yeah, I know that’s what you’re all about,” a male voice said in a bitter tone.
“What? Who is this?” I asked. I hadn’t recognized the number.
“It’s Kyle.”
My stomach turned. I had no reason to have a reaction when he phoned me, but there it was. I hadn’t expected a call from him, and I felt unprepared.
Holy shit.
It was time to talk to my ex best friend.
Chapter 25 – Jacob
“How are you doing?” I asked.
If all else fails, make polite conversation, I figured.
“My sister is fucking the guy who stole my hopes and dreams, and the whole world knows about it. You tell me.”
I shook my head. “Look, Kyle, I get that this looks wrong. It’s not like we planned for it to come out the way it did.”
“Of course not, but it did,” he said. He sounded pissed off.
“And what Kina and I do isn’t any of your business.”
“Well, it’s my business, now. It’s everyone’s business now that you’re on national news. But that’s your style, isn’t it? The whole world knows it whenever you’re doing something. This isn’t the first time you’re in the news, and I’m pretty sure it won’t be the last.”
I sighed. I hated it when people referred to the fight and the assault charge that resulted from it.
“So, you’re going to leave Kina alone, now.”
I was getting angry. If Kyle wanted to nail me with my past, that was one thing. But he wasn’t going to tell me what to do.
“Kina is a grown woman. She can take care of herself. If she wants me to leave her alone and tells me so herself, I’ll respect her wishes. Until then, I’m not doing anything other than what I want.”
Kyle laughed, but it wasn’t a friendly sound. “So, typical Jacob,” he said. “You haven’t changed one bit. You’re still the asshole who only cares for himself.”
“What, because I took the opportunity to go pro when it presented i
tself? I wasn’t going to turn it down to make you feel better that you didn’t get that opportunity.”
“Fuck you, Jacob,” Kyle spat. My phone beeped with another call coming in. I glanced at the screen, and Kina’s number flashed on call waiting.
“I don’t have to listen to your shit,” I said and hung up, taking Kina’s call instead.
“I was looking for you,” I said to her. “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m sorry, I was in a meeting with my boss.”
I let out a sigh of relief. She hadn’t been avoiding me. I’d been stupid to assume that.
“And? How did it go?”
“Not great. He’s not happy, obviously. I’m on probation, but I haven’t lost my job or anything. It’s deemed unprofessional, and they’re going to let me know what happens when my review comes up, soon.”
I rubbed my forehead with my fingertips and sat down on the bench next to my locker.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “It’s a lot of drama.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she said. “We both got ourselves into this, and I know that I’m not the only one suffering the repercussions.”
She was right, but I still felt bad that she was in trouble because of me.
“I want to warn you,” she said. “Kyle knows about us, too, now. He’s really pissed off. That it’s you, of all people—”
“I know,” I said. “He thinks it’s my fault his life went down the drain.” I got that from his conversation. It was ridiculous, of course. I wasn’t responsible for him.
“Did you talk to him?” she asked.
“Yeah, he just called me.”
She sighed. “I’m sorry.”
I shook my head. “Don’t apologize,” I said the same way she’d said to me.
“Kyle thinks we shouldn’t be doing this.”
“And? You’re a big girl. Who is he to tell you what to do? If you want to do this, you can do it. He has no say over you.”
She hesitated. “He’s a big part of my life, Jacob. I’m taking care of him right now.”
“Which is exactly why you’re the one who should be calling the shots, not him. If he can’t even take care of himself.”
She sighed. “I know what you’re saying. This is just such a big mess, and with Kyle being the way he is, all the trouble he gets himself into all the time, it’s a lot to deal with.”
I could understand what she was going through. Kyle was making life very hard for her, and she felt obliged to pick up the pieces all the time because she was his twin. I thought it was wrong, but just as much as I believed Kyle wasn’t the one who could tell her what to do, I wasn’t either.
So, I kept my opinion to myself.
“Look, in my opinion, you can date whoever you want,” I added.
“We’re not dating, Jacob,” she said in a soft voice.
I shook my head. I was still irritated with Kyle and that was translating into the conversation with Kina.
“I’m sorry, I thought you said we were in this together. I thought that meant something.”
“I meant the scandal. I just explained to you how this is too much for me to handle. And now you want me to focus on a relationship, too?”
“Dammit, Kina. Is it so bad for you to get involved?”
“I am involved,” she snapped. “I’m involved in all your nonsense because it’s my job, and I’m involved in your personal scandals because I let my guard down with you.”
Her words hit me like physical punches.
“You say it like you regret it.”
She hesitated. “I don’t,” she said.
“You took a while to think about that.”
“Don’t do this to me, Jacob. We have enough problems as it is.”
Why was she holding back so much? Everything she did made me feel like she was on my side, like I meant something to her. But when it came down to putting it into words, she didn’t want to admit her feelings or what we were, after everything we did. I refused to believe that I was just a fuckbuddy. Kina didn’t seem like the type of person to do that. She was pure and wholesome, and it was something I loved about her.
“So, what? Everything they’re saying in the tabloids is true. We’re just fucking around, and it means nothing?”
“I didn’t say that,” Kina said.
“Then what are you saying? I’m running out of things that it could be, considering everything you’re telling me it’s not.”
“Why do you need to label it all?” she asked. “You’re acting like a woman. Be a man for a change and be the asshole who wants sex and nothing else.”
I pulled a face, and I was glad she couldn’t see slivers of my temper surfacing. Seeing me angry was never pretty.
“I don’t even know what you’re saying right now,” I said.
“Just forget it, Jacob,” she said.
“Forget what?” I asked, but she hung up before I could get an answer.
I didn’t know what was going on, where we stood now. What was it that she wanted me to forget, the argument? The idea that I wanted more? That we had slept together at all? God, she was so damn difficult to read.
I ran my hand over my short hair and groaned. Why was everything so fucking complicated? Why couldn’t I just play football and have a woman without all this shit? If it wasn’t a fight or my woman cheating on me, it was a sex scandal with a woman who looked like she wanted me but didn’t.
Why the fuck was everything so difficult?
Chapter 26 – Kina
I had a full work day to try and work through my anger with Jacob. As if what was going on in the tabloids and my probation wasn’t bad enough, Jacob suddenly had all these questions about who and what we were. I was trying to put out fires, and he was trying to light more.
I couldn’t do this. This was the reason I didn’t date. I already had Kyle to worry about, and now Jacob was a pain in my ass, even though we weren’t official.
I didn’t understand him, either. I was more than happy to just do sex. Sure, I had emotions, but it was easier to push them away and make it about being physical. Jacob was a man. Wasn’t that what men wanted?
But no, I was the only woman who had to deal with the guy getting serious when all I wanted to do was fuck. It sounded backward to me.
When I finally got out of the office, I was drained. It had been a hell of a day. Even when no one had said something, it had been in the air. It had been in the way everyone had stared at me, the attention I’d gotten that was so much more than what I usually got.
It was good to go back to my own apartment, a haven.
Or not. Kyle was at home, and he was pissed off at me, too. Great.
“I’m home,” I called when I walked into the apartment. No answer.
“Kyle?” I asked.
I walked through the living room and to the spare bedroom. Kyle’s door was closed.
“Kyle?” I asked again and knocked on the door. When he didn’t answer, I tried to open the door, but it was locked.
“Kyle, what are you doing in there?” I knocked on his door, rattling the door jamb. Fear coursed through me. What if it was drugs? What if he was in there, passed out or dying? What if I couldn’t help him?
“How about, instead of asking me what I’m doing, ask yourself what the hell you’re doing?” he shouted from the other side of the door. I breathed a sigh of relief. At least he wasn’t passed out or so high on drugs that he couldn’t string together a straight sentence. He sounded pissed off, but that meant he was mentally intact. Small blessings.
“Open up. Let’s talk about it,” I said.
“There’s nothing to talk about. You want to fuck around with Jacob, of all people, I have nothing to say to you.”
My relief disappeared, anger following in its wake.
“This is none of your business,” I said. “I can do whatever I want.”
“Or whoever you want, apparently,” Kyle said.
“Don’t be a brat, Kyle,” I said. “Open the do
or. You’re being childish now. If I’m old enough to act as your mother and take care of you every time you need to be bailed out of jail or saved from the street, I’m old enough to choose who I want to be with.”
Kyle laughed sarcastically. “You’re right. I don’t have a foot to stand on because I don’t have my life together the way you do. But I am still your brother, and the last time I checked, we look out for each other.”
God, I couldn’t remember when Kyle had last been able to look out for me. When he wasn’t high, he was drunk. I hadn’t seen him as someone to call with my issues since we’d been in college together.
“Do you love him?” Kyle asked.
I froze. I had no idea if I loved Jacob. I couldn’t say no, and that bothered me. But I couldn’t say yes, either.
“That’s none of your business,” I said. “My personal life has nothing to do with you.”
“Only the rest of the world,” Kyle said. “Or did you forget that your personal life is all over the internet?”
I shook my head. “I don’t need to remind you that you’re living in my house, Kyle. You needed help, and I was there for you. If you have an opinion, that’s fine. But telling me how I should live my life, lecturing me on who I am and what I do, that’s not acceptable.”
“Fine,” Kyle said and yanked the door open. His blue eyes were angry, his curled hair a mess. He had one bag in his hand, another on the floor. He picked it up and stormed past me.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Away,” he said. “You keep telling me how hard it is to take care of me when you’re not exactly a saint, either. I’m out.”
I walked after him. Kyle was headed for the door, and I was suddenly terrified I would lose him completely.
Hold Onto Me_A Secret Baby Romance Page 117
