by Jason Segel
“Charlie…” Charlotte sighed and shook her head.
Charlie ignored the goblins and walked back to Charlotte. “I know how you cured Josephine,” he said. “It wasn’t the antidote. It was what you said to Paige while Josephine was listening.”
Charlotte didn’t look at all convinced. “What did I say?” she asked skeptically.
“I remember!” Paige exclaimed, and Charlie could see that she’d figured it out too. “You told me that Josephine would be just fine because I was looking out for her. My aunt must have heard it.”
“See?” Charlie said. “Magic words.” He looked over at Ollie. “When you came into Charlotte’s store for the poison ivy ointment, did Charlotte say anything special to you?”
Ollie nodded. “When no one was listening, Charlotte whispered that my mom was tough on me ’cause she cares, and she said that I was lucky to have someone who loved me that much.”
“And you?” Charlie asked Poppy.
Poppy blushed. “Some kids at school kept making fun of my hair. I asked Charlotte if she had anything in her shop that would turn it brown, and she told me that one day soon my red hair would bring me the kind of attention I’d want to have. I try to remember that whenever I’m feeling down.”
Charlie stood in front of his stepmother. He should have known what she was capable of doing. Her “magic” had saved him once too. “Your words protected Ollie and Poppy from the tonic because they stayed with them and gave them hope. They cured Josephine too. Somehow you know what scares people the most—and you know just what to say to help them get past it.”
“But I’ve barely said anything at all!” Charlotte argued.
“A little hope goes a long way, Charlotte,” Charlie said. He realized then that it was time to pay her back. “Even if we have to burn down the mansion to protect the portal, you and me and Jack and Dad will all be together. That’s the most important thing, don’t you think?”
Charlotte nodded and wiped a tear from her eye.
“We’ve got your back, Charlotte,” Jack added. “Right, Charlie?”
“That’s right,” Charlie agreed, giving his little brother a wink.
“Is this disgusting display of human emotion over?” the head goblin sneered. He was looking a little less confident.
“Not yet,” Charlie told him. “Prepare yourselves for a revolting grand finale.” Facing the line of Walkers, he cupped his hands around his mouth. “People of Orville Falls!” Charlie yelled at the top of his lungs. “I want you to know that you are all going to be okay! We are here to help you get back to normal. None of us will give up until you are!”
In the silence that followed, Charlie waited for a sign. Half a minute ticked past, but nothing happened. Charlie saw the goblins grinning, and his friends beginning to fidget. But he wasn’t worried at all.
“Take your time!” Charlie shouted at the citizens of Orville Falls. “We’re not going anywhere! We know why you all started drinking the tonic. We know about your nightmares and the little girl you saw in them. When she was around, you felt hopeless and alone, like there was no one who could help you. But those were just bad dreams, and if you face them, you’ll beat them. There are people who can help you, and we’re here! We are not going to leave a single one of you behind. It doesn’t matter how long it takes, we’ll get through this together.”
The only sounds were the whistling wind and the caw of a single crow. Then someone yawned loudly. A boy in a filthy blue soccer uniform stepped out of the line. He yawned again and rubbed at his eyes with his knuckles. “Hey!” He stumbled toward Rocco. His legs must have still been weak, but the smile on his face was proof he’d been cured. “Aren’t you that kid from Cypress Creek? Remember me? Kyle, from the Orville Falls Comets? I thought you’d forgotten all about us. But you didn’t! You came to help just like you promised!”
Behind the soccer kid, a lady sniffled. A man cleared his throat. Somebody farted, which made someone else laugh. The Walkers were slowly returning to life.
“What did I tell you?” Charlie spun around triumphantly to face the goblins. But they were no longer there. He caught sight of the three of them right before they hightailed it around a corner at the end of the block.
“The goblins are making a run for it!” Rocco shouted, fully prepared to take off after them.
“Don’t bother chasing them,” Charlie told his friends.
“Why not?” Jack asked. “Do you know where they’re going?”
“Nope,” Charlie admitted. “But I know where they’re going to end up.”
After their victory, Charlie’s army disbanded. Paige and Rocco stayed in Orville Falls, where they hunted for Walkers in need of the cure. The rest of the crew headed back to Cypress Creek, where Ollie and Poppy set off in search of their parents, while Alfie rushed to the local television station to personally cure his beloved Stormy Skies.
Charlie, Jack, and their stepmother had gone straight to the purple mansion—and up the stairs to the tower.
“Are you sure the goblins are going to come here?” Charlotte asked once the three of them were standing in front of the portal.
“They can’t stay in Orville Falls,” Charlie said. “The whole town will be looking for them. But they can’t go anywhere else either. They’re on the run. They have nowhere to go. No place to stay. No—”
“Storage sheds filled with cat food and lightbulbs,” Jack offered.
“Exactly,” Charlie said. “Pretty soon they’re going to figure out that they have to go back to the Netherworld. And I have a feeling that we don’t want to get in their way when they arrive at the mansion and start looking for the portal.”
“Are we going to let them go through?” Jack asked.
“Yep,” Charlie said. “We’ll just make sure that justice is waiting for them on the other side.”
“You mean Medusa?” Charlotte asked.
“She can arrest the goblins as soon as they get to the Netherworld,” Charlie said. “All I need to do is go get her.”
“By yourself?” Charlotte asked.
“No, Charlie,” Jack said firmly. “I won’t let you.”
“I have to go alone,” Charlie explained. “Charlotte can’t get through the portal anymore, and you’re still on the Netherworld’s Most Wanted list.”
“That’s why I’m the one who has to do it,” Jack said. “Going back to the Netherworld is my very worst nightmare. I’ve got to face it.”
“But if you go, I can’t go with you,” Charlie warned him. “One of us has to stay here to protect the mansion.”
“I know,” Jack said. “I’ll go alone.”
“Aren’t you scared?” Charlie asked his brother.
Jack nodded.
Charlie put an arm around his brother. “Good,” he said. “Because every time you’re scared, you have a chance to be brave. Think you can do it, Jack?”
Jack nodded again.
“Then go,” Charlie said, stepping aside. “Be our hero.”
Charlie watched his little brother close his eyes as he conjured his worst nightmare. The portal opened. Charlie could see half the Netherworld from where they stood. And in the distance, on top of a mountain, was Medusa’s cave.
Jack glanced up at Charlie and Charlotte with a scared little smile. Then, without a word, he stepped over to the other side.
—
Hours passed, and Jack didn’t return. Charlie watched his stepmother pace back and forth across the tower. She made the trip so many times that he was sure she’d wear a hole in the floorboards. Charlie, on the other hand, had started off perfectly confident. But as the minutes dragged by, he felt his conviction draining away. He couldn’t help but worry that he might have sent his own brother to his doom.
Jack was still missing when the goblins showed up as expected. Charlie and Charlotte heard them on the porch three stories below. Charlie was glad he’d left the downstairs doors open. There’d been no point in locking them. Nothing would have stopped the desperate crea
tures from finding a way inside. The goblins had taken their sweet time getting to the mansion. They were probably equipped with everything they’d need to force their way into the house, from weapons to a battering ram.
Charlie and his stepmother scrambled down the stairs from the tower and into Charlotte’s bedroom below. They hid there, under the bed, while the goblins stomped all the way upstairs.
A brief silence followed as the goblins searched for the portal. Then the smashing and crashing and thumping began.
“Guess they can’t find what they need,” Charlie said, and grinned. Closed, the portal looked like an ordinary wall.
“Yeah,” Charlotte agreed. “But they’re going to tear the whole place down searching for it. And what’s going to happen if Jack gets back while they’re up there?”
“You’re right,” Charlie said, scooting out from underneath the bed. He’d been hoping to avoid another unpleasant face-to-face with the goblins. But now there was no other way. “We have to be there for Jack.”
When Charlie and Charlotte arrived at the tower room, they found it in shambles. The floor was covered with a salad of dried herbs and shards of the glass jars that had held them. And there were holes in all eight walls. Charlie stood in the tower doorway, watching the three goblins wrestle each other across the room. He could only guess, but the bruises on their foreheads seemed to explain the holes in the walls. They must have tried to crash right through them.
“You told us to trust them!” one goblin screeched at another.
“They’ve left us trapped on this side!” the second one shouted.
“How dare you question ICK and INK!” the third goblin exploded. “When they arrive to open the portal, I will make sure they know that you’ve both been disloyal!”
Charlie cleared his throat, and the goblins finally caught sight of their visitors. They scrambled to their feet.
Charlie addressed the third goblin. “You still trust ICK and INK? After everything that’s happened?”
“They’re the prophecy,” the goblin spat. “Our kind has been waiting for them for a very long time.”
Charlie shook his head. The prophecy. “Looks like you’re going to have to wait a while longer,” he said.
“It doesn’t matter how long we must wait,” the goblin answered. “Destiny cannot be stopped.”
Suddenly the wall behind the goblins began to fade, then disappear. Where there had once been beaten-up plaster, there was now an entrance to another room in another tower.
“It’s open!” the two other goblins cried.
“What did I tell you?” the first goblin said triumphantly. “ICK and INK have arrived.”
Charlie saw it coming before the goblins, and jumped out of the way as a large object shot through the portal and into the tower. It knocked over a goblin and slammed into Charlotte’s desk, then fell to the ground. Once the missile had stopped, everyone could see it was a kid. But it wasn’t ICK or INK. It was Jack, his face white and his chest heaving.
Charlie dropped down to his knees. “You okay?” he asked his brother.
All Jack could do was nod and point. Charlie turned to see the goblins going for the portal. They were so intent on making it to the other side that they didn’t notice what was waiting for them until it was too late. They stopped in their tracks, knocking into each other as they did. The portal was blocked by Nightmares, all of them panting as if they’d just ended a race. Half of the Netherworld must have chased Jack back to the mansion. It was clear from their expressions that the last thing they’d expected to find on the other side of the portal was three goblins.
The goblins turned tail and rushed for the tower door, but Charlotte was too quick. She’d gotten there first and locked it.
“Back up, goblins, or the glasses come off!” Charlie heard someone command. The Nightmares on the other side of the portal parted and allowed Medusa to slither into view, one hand raised to her sunglasses. Dabney the clown and Ava the Harpy followed her through the crowd and took their places at her side. “Goblins, you are hereby under arrest for crimes against the Netherworld, the Dream Realm, and the Waking World. Cuff them,” Medusa told the clown.
“My pleasure, Madam President,” Dabney said with a giggle.
Dabney grabbed two of the goblins, and Ava took the third. Once the creatures had been escorted out of the tower, Medusa slithered up to Jack.
“You showed remarkable courage today,” she told the boy. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it. Running through the Netherworld with half its creatures chasing after you—just to get a message to me. I didn’t think you’d make it, but here we are. Three villains were captured because of you.”
Jack beamed. “Thank you,” he said, his voice still hoarse. “But I wasn’t the only—”
“Hey,” Charlie interrupted his brother. “Don’t be modest. I would never have done what you just did.”
“No, but you would have done something else just as good,” Jack said.
“Doubt it,” Charlie shot back.
“Okay, okay,” Charlotte said with a playful huff. “You guys stop arguing about who’s more awesome.”
“I’d say you have two rather exceptional stepsons,” Medusa told Charlotte.
“And I’d have to agree,” Charlotte replied, grinning from ear to ear.
Medusa put an arm around each of the boys. “Would you mind if I borrow them both for a little while?”
“Not at all, as long as they’re back by six o’clock, when their father gets home,” Charlotte said, and Charlie looked up at her in confusion. “Remember the family meeting?” she reminded him.
Charlie nodded. How could he forget?
—
Trying not to think about the bad news that would be waiting for him at six, Charlie passed through the portal and into the Netherworld, his brother by his side. Dabney and Ava had already taken the goblins down the stairs of the nightmare mansion, and Jack and Charlie were alone in the tower with Medusa.
“I know it feels like we’ve won, but it’s not over yet,” Charlie told the gorgon. “ICK and INK are still on the loose. One of them burned down the lighthouse to keep the goblins from passing through the portal and into the Waking World. I don’t know why, but I guess it must have been part of their plan. Now one of the girls is here, and the other one is somewhere in the Waking World.”
“Yes,” Medusa said. “And we must catch them. You know, I never imagined there was any truth to that prophecy. It’s still hard to believe that ICK and INK are human children.”
“You’re sure they’re really human?” Charlie asked. “They may look like ten-year-olds, but they’re at least eighty years old.”
“They were human once,” said Medusa. “That much I know for sure. The Netherworld lighthouse collapsed last night, and my troops found something in the rubble. It’s from your world, not ours.”
Medusa reached into the pocket of her suit jacket and pulled out a photo. The paper it had been printed on was creased and yellowing around the edges. But the black-and-white picture was still clear. It showed twin girls in identical old-fashioned dresses smiling at the camera. Charlie flipped the photo over and found an inscription on the back.
Isabel Cordelia Kessog
India Nell Kessog
Orville Falls, 1939
ICK and INK. Charlie stared at the girls’ happy faces. What could have turned two little schoolgirls into the monsters who’d almost managed to wipe out three worlds?
“Indy and her sister both look so sweet,” said Jack.
“Keep the photo,” Medusa told the boys. “But put it away. Right now we have a celebration to attend.”
As Charlie tucked the picture into the back pocket of his jeans, he heard the roar of a crowd outside.
Jack jumped at the sound. “What was that?” he asked nervously.
“The creatures of the Netherworld are waiting,” said Medusa. “They just saw the goblins who nearly destroyed our land. Now they need to see who w
as responsible for saving us all. Go,” she urged them.
The Laird boys made it as far as the front door. Then Jack came to a stop.
Charlie gave his little brother a nudge. “You first,” he said.
“I’m not sure I want to,” Jack said.
“Why not?” Charlie asked him. “Are you scared?”
“No, I faced my fear. But they thought I tried to destroy the Netherworld,” Jack said, his face twisting into a frown. “I don’t want to be friends with them anymore.”
“They made a mistake, Jack. Sometimes people—and Nightmares—do that. It won’t be any fun for you to stay mad at them. And don’t forget, you have lots of friends in the Waking World,” Charlie reminded him. “And you’ll always have me.”
“Yeah, but you made it pretty clear that you’re not my friend,” Jack said, looking down at his feet. “You’re my brother.”
“Yep,” Charlie said. “I’m your brother. And that means it’s my job to be your friend for the rest of your life.”
“Yeah, your job,” Jack muttered.
“The best job ever,” Charlie told him.
“You mean it?” Jack asked, a grin lifting the edges of his mouth.
“Yep,” Charlie said. And he did.
—
Charlie opened the door for his brother. In the distance, he could see what was left of the hole that had almost swallowed the Netherworld. The formerly bottomless pit was now no bigger than a fishing pond. A hush fell over the crowd when Jack stepped outside onto the porch. Thousands of Nightmares surrounded the mansion. They stared at the boy, and for several long seconds, Charlie wondered if he’d made the wrong call. Then a little creature hopped up onto the porch and climbed on top of a rail.
“Is that how we say hello to a hero?” Bruce shouted down at the crowd. “Come on, Nightmares! Lemme hear what you got!”
That was all the encouragement they needed. The Nightmares went wild.
Charlie wished he could have stayed in the Netherworld. But at six o’clock, he and the rest of the Laird family were gathered around the kitchen table for the family meeting that Charlie’s dad had called.
