by Jason Segel
“I’m afraid we have some very bad news,” Andrew Laird began.
“But at least now it won’t be the end of the world!” Charlotte added merrily. Charlie appreciated the effort to keep things lighthearted, but it was time to get serious. He’d helped save the world, and now he needed to find a way to save his house.
Charlie’s dad didn’t know what to make of his wife’s outburst. He cleared his throat. “Your stepmom and I have been having some financial difficulties lately, and it seems—”
The doorbell rang, and Jack jumped up to get it.
“Let it go,” Andrew Laird ordered impatiently. “We’ve put this meeting off for too long. It can’t wait any longer.”
Jack reluctantly returned to his seat at the table.
Andrew Laird took a deep breath and then set it free. “As I was saying—”
The doorbell rang again, and Charlie’s dad sat back with his arms crossed.
“Let me get it,” Charlie offered. “I’ll tell whoever it is to go away.”
He ran to the door and pulled it open. On the other side stood Ollie Tobias and his mother. Both of them were dressed for croquet. When Charlie saw Ollie’s straw hat and suspenders, he gulped.
“Where’s your stepmother?” Mrs. Tobias demanded before Charlie could even say hello.
“She’s in the kitchen, but she’s—”
Mrs. Tobias squeezed past Charlie and headed straight for the kitchen. Ollie gave Charlie a helpless shrug. “That woman’s never understood the meaning of the word no,” he said.
“So I guess you found her,” Charlie said.
“Yeah. Mom was standing in line at the Cypress Creek tonic shop when I got back to town. I told her that I love her, and I promised not to eat any more bath beads. When she woke up, I took her home. And guess what! She loves what I did with the living room!”
“That’s great, but why is she here?” Charlie asked. “Why does she want to see Charlotte?”
Ollie smiled mischievously. “Maybe you should go find out,” he said.
Charlie ran back to the kitchen to find Mrs. Tobias planting a kiss on Charlotte’s cheek. “I am so sorry to disturb you,” she told Charlie’s stepmom. “But I wanted to thank you for…for…for whatever it is that you did. Ollie says you and your stepson are the ones who came up with the cure for my…condition.”
Charlotte cast a nervous glance in her husband’s direction. “It was my pleasure, Mrs. Tobias,” she said. “I’m glad you’re feeling better.”
“Not just better,” the woman announced. “Better than ever!” She opened her handbag, pulled out an envelope, and thrust it into Charlotte’s hands. “I hope this is enough to thank you.”
Charlotte tried to hand the envelope back. “Oh, I wasn’t expecting payment, Mrs. Tobias,” she said.
“But why not?” asked Mrs. Tobias, refusing to accept the envelope. “How do you expect to run a successful business if you don’t accept payment for your services?”
“Please. Don’t argue with her, Mrs. Laird,” Ollie advised.
“I added a little extra for taking care of Ollie while I was ill,” Mrs. Tobias added with a smile. “I hope he minded his manners.”
Charlotte gave Ollie a wink. “He was a perfect angel,” she said. “He’s welcome back anytime.”
“See? I told you, Mom. I’ve turned over a whole new leaf,” Ollie insisted, though his mischievous grin said otherwise.
“Well, then I guess Mrs. Laird must have worked another miracle last night.” She held out a hand to Charlotte. “Thank you. My apologies for disturbing your family. I hope you don’t have plans this evening. You may have a few other guests popping by. I’m afraid I have a very big mouth.”
With that, Mrs. Tobias headed for the front door with her son in tow.
“What are you waiting for?” Jack said as soon as the family was alone again. “Open it!”
Charlotte hesitantly ripped open the envelope. Her eyes widened at the sight of the check inside.
“How much is it for?” Charlie asked.
“A lot,” Charlotte answered. She gave her husband a peek at the check, and his eyes widened too.
“What on earth did you do for that woman?” he asked.
“Sprayed her in the face with a water gun,” Jack said with a cackle.
“And then made her son say he loves her,” Charlie added.
“Excuse me?” Andrew Laird asked.
Then the doorbell rang again and Jack sprinted off to answer it.
“Hey, Charlotte!” he shouted. “Alfie’s here. And he brought Stormy Skies to see you!”
“Since when do you know the weatherwoman?” Andrew Laird asked in amazement.
Charlotte gave her husband a peck on the cheek. “I’m full of surprises,” she told him.
—
There were at least a dozen other visitors to the Laird house that night. Stormy Skies hung around for more than an hour, happily telling anyone who would listen about the brave young meteorology fan who’d appeared out of nowhere to rescue her. By the time Alfie’s parents came to take him home, he and Rocco had snapped more than a hundred selfies with the indulgent weatherwoman. Poppy DuBose and her family stayed for a dinner of kale casserole and left with a year’s supply of Charlotte’s homemade toothpaste. As the evening wore on, the Lairds opened their door for people they barely knew, and a few people they didn’t recognize at all. But everyone came bearing envelopes, and Charlotte reluctantly accepted payment for her services.
When the guests were gone, Charlie and Jack cleaned up the dishes while Charlotte counted her earnings.
“You sure did treat a lot of people over the last few days,” Andrew Laird said.
Charlotte smiled. “I guess you could say there was something going around.”
“Do you think you made enough to pay the mortgage?” Charlie heard his dad ask softly.
“Not quite,” Charlotte replied. “But it will certainly help with the move.”
—
The very next morning at eight a.m., the Lairds’ doorbell rang again. Charlie opened it to find Paige and Josephine grinning from ear to ear.
Josephine bent down and kissed Charlie on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said. “I always told Paige you were a hero in the making.”
“Now stop blushing and go get Charlotte!” Paige exclaimed. “We just saw something that she’s gotta see.”
“I’m here!” Charlotte was coming down the stairs in her nightgown and robe. Charlie knew it wasn’t a good sign. His stepmom was usually at the herbarium by eight. “But I’m not dressed yet.”
“Doesn’t matter.” Paige grabbed her hand.
Paige and Josephine practically dragged Charlotte downtown, with Charlie nearly jogging to keep up with them. When they reached Cypress Creek’s Main Street, they found a line that stretched for blocks. In the middle of the line was the original Walker, Winston Lindsay. He’d brought the entire Orville Falls Comets soccer team.
“What are they waiting for?” Charlotte asked. “The goblins are gone and the Walkers are cured. Tranquility Tonight should be closed.”
“They’re waiting for you,” Paige told her. “See where the line ends?” She pointed down the street.
Charlie rolled up his sleeves. “Looks like Hazel’s Herbarium is back in business.”
And he knew that meant the purple mansion was safe. The victory felt even richer when Charlie spotted Curtis Swanson of the Amalgamated Bank of Cypress Creek standing across the street from Hazel’s Herbarium, watching in awe as the line continued to grow. Everything had changed overnight, and even Curtis Swanson seemed to know it. When he glanced in Charlie’s direction, Charlie offered the banker a wave. Swanson was responding with a rather unconvincing smile, when he seemed to catch sight of something behind Charlie. In an instant, the man’s face had gone white and he’d rushed away. Charlie checked over his shoulder but saw nothing frightening, just a single red balloon floating through the sky.
Charlie sat be
side his mother on the front porch steps of her Dream Realm house. In the distance, they could still see faint, wispy traces of the Nothingness cloud that had once seemed so threatening. Charlie had just come from a tour of the Dream Realm’s Orville Falls. There wasn’t much there yet, just a fountain and a few trees. The progress was slow, but Orville Falls was being rebuilt.
Charlie’s mother had listened to his story. She told him how proud she was, and how happy she was that the purple mansion was safe. But then she went quiet for a minute. “I still can’t believe that ICK and INK were little girls,” she finally said. “They must have been so lonely in that lighthouse. Maybe Charlotte and I should have paid them a visit.”
“ICK and INK were little girls in the 1930s,” Charlie replied. “We have no idea what they are now. All we know is that they’re really dangerous. Charlotte and I are doing our best to keep them from using our portal.”
“But the lighthouse’s portal is gone, and the purple mansion’s portal is secured?” his mom asked.
“Yep,” Charlie said. “We added three dead-bolt locks to the tower door, and we sealed both of the tower windows shut.”
“Which means ICK and INK are trapped for good on the other side.”
“No,” Charlie said. “One of them is in the Waking World. She disappeared after she set fire to the lighthouse. The last time anyone saw her, she was in Maine. The other sister is somewhere in the Netherworld.”
“So they’re apart?”
Charlie nodded. “And we’re going to keep it that way.”
“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do?” his mom asked.
Charlie hadn’t been expecting that. “What are you talking about?”
“Well, I guess I keep thinking about their tonic’s secret ingredient,” Veronica Laird said. “It came from them—but it wasn’t anger or hatred, was it?”
“No,” Charlie said. “It was despair.”
“And now we know that despair has a cure,” his mom said. “ICK and INK are sisters. They need each other the way you need Jack, and he needs you.”
Charlie was baffled by the direction their talk had taken. He had thought she would be glad to be rid of her old stalkers. “But, Mom, ICK and INK nearly destroyed three worlds! They turned thousands of people into Walkers—and they almost let goblins into the Waking World!”
“But why?” his mother asked. “Why would they do such things? Have you ever asked yourself that?”
Charlie started to respond, then shut his mouth. She was right. They’d stopped ICK and INK, but they’d never figured out why the twins had created the tonic. What were they trying to do?
“Look up there.” Charlie’s mom pulled him from his thoughts. She was pointing at the Dream Realm’s version of the Lairds’ purple mansion. Standing on the front porch was a handsome man with black hair and an old-fashioned suit. “Do you know who that is?”
Charlie grinned. “It’s Silas DeChant,” he said. “He built the purple mansion. I was hoping I’d meet him here someday.”
“So you remember the DeChants’ story?” his mom asked.
“Of course!” Charlie said. “When Silas let darkness take over his life, he left his friends and family and came here. But the darkness only got worse when he was all alone, and he ended up opening a portal to the Netherworld.”
“Ah, see?” his mother said. “You told the story without even mentioning its real hero.”
“Who was the real hero?” Charlie asked.
“The heroine of the story was Silas’s fiancée, Abigail. When he abandoned her, she could have despised him. She had every right to, after all. They were supposed to be married, and Silas just up and left town. But instead of hating him, Abigail asked why. She tried to understand what had made Silas leave—and then she set out to find him. What do you suppose would have happened if Abigail hadn’t found Silas?”
“The portal he created would have stayed open, and Nightmares could have come through to this side,” Charlie said.
“That’s right,” his mother told him. “So Abigail DeChant may have saved the world, just by asking why. Now, let me ask you again, Charlie. Why did two little girls try to destroy three worlds?”
Charlie thought for a moment, before he answered. “I have no idea,” he said. “But I suppose I’d better try to find out.”
Summer break had reached an end, and the first day of eighth grade had arrived. Charlie grabbed a seat in his homeroom class just as the first bell rang.
“Hello, everyone,” said the woman in black at the front of the room. “My name is Ms. Abbot. I teach seventh- and eighth-grade history, and this is my homeroom.”
There wasn’t much need for introductions, Charlie thought. Everyone in Cypress Creek knew all about Ms. Abbot. She’d arrived in town in the middle of August, dressed like she was going to a funeral. Charlotte seemed to be one of the few people in town who’d managed to speak with her. She said Ms. Abbot was perfectly normal. She came from New York, where dressing in black from head to toe was considered quite chic, and not necessarily a sign of evil proclivities.
“Do we have anyone else who’s new to Cypress Creek Elementary this year?” Ms. Abbot asked the class.
A hand shot up at the front of the class.
“And what’s your name?” Ms. Abbot inquired.
“India, ma’am,” said the girl in a British accent. “But you may call me Indy for short.”
JASON SEGEL used to have nightmares just like Charlie, and just like Charlie, he’s learned that the things we’re most afraid of are the things that can make us strong…if we’re brave enough to face them. Jason likes acting, writing, making music, and hanging out with his friends. Sometimes he writes movies. Sometimes he writes songs for movies. Sometimes he stars in those movies and sings those songs. You might know him from The Muppets and Despicable Me. Your parents might know him from other stuff. Nightmares! The Sleepwalker Tonic is his second novel and the sequel to the New York Times bestseller Nightmares!
KIRSTEN MILLER grew up in a small town just like Cypress Creek, minus the purple mansion. She lives and writes in New York City. Kirsten is the author of the acclaimed Kiki Strike books, the Eternal Ones series, and the New York Times bestseller How to Lead a Life of Crime, as well as the Nightmares! novels, cowritten with Jason Segel. You can visit her at kirstenmillerbooks.com.
