Never Second Best

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Never Second Best Page 8

by Kenna Shaw Reed


  Only when they came together, did Seth slow down the kisses. Instead, holding her still in place, she finally heard the words she didn’t dare believe.

  “You and me, we could never just end up here and then walk away. Too much has happened, and we had to fight too hard to become friends. I didn’t want this to happen until we were both sure.”

  “And now?” she dared to ask.

  “You’ve christened my new lounge. There’s a new bed that needs christening, if you’re up for it?”

  “I thought you’d never …” she started before his mouth claimed hers, again.

  The breaking daylight woke her, the blazing sun streaming in through Seth’s curtains and shining over his naked body. Yes, indeed, the bed was well and truly christened. Never had she been so insatiable, and Seth. Lucy blushed at the many ways he proved to her how much he wanted her body to treasure and own.

  “Morning, gorgeous,” he rolled over and stroked her soft breast that still bore the bite marks from last night.

  “Does this service come with coffee?”

  “I can even make you breakfast, but if you don’t put some clothes on, I can’t guarantee that I’ll leave you alone long enough to eat it.

  “Fine, I’ll see you out there,” Lucy left the bedroom to find her clothes which were probably still all over the lounge room floor.

  Padding through the house, doing up her own jeans, she marveled at the way he had eradicated his ex-wife from the house. Until she saw the group of photos.

  It was Seth’s fault, he drew her eyes to them when he put back one of the frames with a look of adoration.

  “I love them so much,” curling up under his arm, Lucy expected to see a treasured photo of his children.

  His ex-wife. Perfect body in a perfectly tiny crop top and shorty shorts. Bent over so he could see her breasts almost popping out.

  Bastard.

  Even after the night together, wearing her scent from all of the times together, he still went to the photo of Her. Who did he think he was, saying he loved them all?

  Looking up at his wife in the photo, the look of love on his face shot her through the heart.

  Shaking, she extracted herself from her lover, found her bag and ran outside. She didn’t stop running until she reached the local shops and called a cab.

  How could he do that to her, again?

  How could she have been so bloody stupid.

  What the hell happened?

  One minute they were making love, the next it seemed instead of having breakfast together, she was running out of the house.

  Seth hadn’t time to react. Not to pull on clothes or physically stop her. All he could do is watch her run down the street while he could rack his brain for what happened.

  She tried to leave last night but agreed to listen to his explanation. The first kiss was impulsive, and he didn’t think it would lead to them making love on the lounge. Or that they would end up in his bed, making love almost on the hour and every hour until dawn. Making up for lost time, reacquainting themselves with every moan and desire.

  Lucy seemed fine with no regrets when they got up. He went into the kitchen to make them breakfast while she got dressed. She seemed to react to the photos of his kids.

  Seth went back inside to see what could have upset her so much.

  As he had gone through the baby photos the day before, he pulled out the firsts. The first day of daycare, first haircut, first day of school, First time one of them held a tennis racquet and the first kick of the football. One of his favorites was of Owen, the first day without training wheels. The look of glee on Owen’s face as he rode for the first time without a supporting hand.

  Could it be that Lucy would always resent his children that were not hers?

  To hell with her. He deserved better and his kids certainly deserved the best.

  Out of time

  “How’s he doing?” For the last month, Lucy avoided tennis only to avoid Joanne and the temptation to ask about Seth.

  “You know,” Jo shrugged as they went into the change rooms.

  “No, I don’t.”

  “Well, who’s fault is that? From what I understand, you’ve cut him out of your life and he doesn’t have a clue why.”

  “That’s not how it happened!” Lucy cried. “You know me, you know I wouldn’t walk away without a reason.”

  “No, I thought I knew you. I thought that I had to be worried about Seth leading you on and hurting you.”

  “I’m telling you, I didn’t hurt him.”

  “Well that’s not what it looks like to me.”

  Lucy had ample time to dwell on Joanne’s words as their opponents were ready to play. Surrounded by others, she couldn’t help but think Jo was avoiding being alone with her.

  How could anyone think she hurt Seth? That would mean he gave a damn about her – rather than using her as a convenient way of getting over his ex-wife.

  For one brief night, she dared to hope that …

  No. Not even now could she bring herself to admit the delusions as she lay in his arms. Listening to his soft snores. Watching his eyelids flicker in his sleep. Never thinking she could possible be so lucky in love again.

  Only to have his first waking thought to be of his ex.

  The look of love in his eyes that would never be for her.

  Never be for children that she would so willingly bare him. A football team of kids, he once told her he wanted. Well, he was still a few short but if he wasn’t willing to let go of his past, how the hell could she be part of his future.

  “Jo, please,” she caught Jo unlocking her car. “Just tell me how he is doing.”

  “Why do you care? And if you do, why don’t you go and see for yourself.”

  “We tried, but he still loves his ex,” saying the words she knew to be true made them all the more real. “I never stood a chance. I should have learned from the first time.”

  “Oh, Luc, I’m so sorry,” she accepted her friend’s embrace. Wanting to burst into tears like a two-year-old denied her favorite chocolate.

  “Yeah, well what can I do. She is perfect, she was his first love. I’ll only ever be second best to the perfect Mrs Greenwood.”

  “Believe me, she was not perfect. Seth was the last one to see her true colors,” finally Jo let go.

  “So, how is he doing? I don’t dare ask at work and I can’t drop by and pretend nothing happened.”

  “He’s trying his best, but the court case is stressing him out.”

  “Oh.”

  “I tried asking him about you and I got the feeling that he doesn’t know what went wrong or how to win you back.”

  “He can’t. I mean, I’ve spent the last seven years or so pinning after him. She leaves and I thought we had another chance.” Sniffling, “I can’t keep being friends with someone I love. It hurts too much.”

  “I know, honey, I know.” Jo checked the time, “Hell, I need to get Kyle from football practice. You take care, and once this whole court thing with Matt is over, give Seth another chance.”

  “Why?”

  “Because, you might think he is missing Grace, but everything Joe and I see makes us believe he’s missing you.”

  Two unscheduled welfare checks later, Seth had to accept Lucy had completely cut him out of her life.

  “Mr Greenwood, this is Mr Hall. Ms Dawson has handed your case over to him and won’t be attending any more visits,” Mrs Grainger entered his home as if she owned it.

  He would gladly give it to her if it meant Matt could stay with him.

  As usual, the kids’ toys were strewn across the floor and remnants from breakfast still on the bench and in the sink. He wouldn’t win prizes for cleanliness, but he felt the whole family had pulled together.

  “Have you got the diary for me?” Seth handed her the schedule of when Matt was alone to care for the kids and when they were with baby—sitters, friends and the nanny. Almost every minute of each day was accounted for. Homework, so
ccer training. The school was willing to provide verbal reports if only this woman would take the time to ring and check.

  “Is there anything you are still concerned about?” he asked as they were leaving. Mrs Grainger started to answer until the new case worker closed her down.

  “I’m sorry, Mr Greenwood. We are not permitted to tell you how to parent. If you feel you need support, there are avenues you can take.”

  “I didn’t ask for support, but if there is something I need to do to make you trust Matt to my care, I need to know.”

  “That’s not how the system works, Mr Greenwood. Have a good day,” Mr Hall escorted Mrs Grainger to the car. Seth appreciated the apologetic look she gave him over her shoulder.

  The countdown to his ninety days was nearing the end.

  He needed Lucy, his friend and social worker.

  Time had not healed his wanting or craving of Lucy the woman.

  Visions of her lying beneath him, her blue eyes open as he filled her. The soft bruises on his neck from her love bites and scratch marks down his back lasted days longer than their relationship. If that’s what you could call it.

  He gave up sending her texts or leaving messages.

  Once before, he wasted energy on a woman, trying to convince her to love him. He learnt his lesson. Women who needed convincing, would never truly love him. With time, Lucy would be just another woman in his past to be forgotten and gotten over.

  Instead, he focused on his family and business. Finding the balance that made both work. Convinced Matt not to drop out of school for an apprenticeship but think about all the school-based apprenticeships that would give him better opportunities.

  “Can’t I just come and work for you?”

  “Absolutely, and I’d love you to work beside me. But if you want to be more than just a laborer, if you really want me to take you seriously and have you beside me, you need an education.”

  “Fine, then you’d better help me with the math.”

  He helped Matt with math and Matt listened to his brothers with their reading. Everyone was learning to cook or prepare food – even Retha loved rolling rissoles or peeling vegetables.

  His family was working like a team, and he only hoped the social workers saw it.

  He couldn’t control how Lucy felt about him. He could barely control his family’s future.

  “Mr Greenwood continues to struggle balancing the needs of his own children against those of Mr Night,” Lucy read the latest report from her associate. As much as she had cut Seth out of her life, she wished the prospects for him keeping Matt seemed better.

  After their night together, she had to relinquish all involvement with his case. Not only because they slept together, but because she didn’t want him to see how he had hurt her. It was her own stupidity that let her go to his house, stay behind after Jo left. To return his kiss thinking that this time would be different.

  Now, his life was falling apart and she was powerless to either warn him or stop it. When she told Hugh the reasons behind having to step away from Matt’s case, he chose Adam Hall. One of the toughest associates with little empathy for any potential foster family who wasn’t perfect. He held the highest standards and was useful in weeding out any couples who were not confident about dealing with teens. She would never have thought to place him with Seth who was well used to dealing with teen boys.

  Yet, she was wrong. Mrs Grainger wrote a dissenting report having seen “the growth in Mr Greenwood as a parent and man during this difficult time. I find the relationship between Mr Night and each member of his foster family refreshing and positive.”

  Unfortunately, now that Adam was involved, his report could send Matt back into the system.

  “You’ll be fine,” Jo encouraged him as he walked into the court room with his lawyer by his side.

  “Will she be here?”

  “Who, Lucy? I doubt it. She is barely talking to me and refuses to even hear your name. Didn’t you say she handed you over to one of her colleagues?”

  “I hoped she would still be here as a friend. She knows Matt, knows the system and could have at least tried to help us.”

  “Give her time, whatever you did, she is hurting.”

  “That’s just it, I don’t know what I did.”

  “Seth, you can talk about your love life later, I need you inside now,” Simon escorted him down the aisle to take his seat.

  Arguments and motions later, his head was spinning.

  “Your honor, you have two opposing reports. It would be unfair to give a final ruling based on one report of one individual who has only visited my client twice.”

  He had changed, he had done everything right and still it wasn’t enough!

  Every time he tried to speak, Simon put a controlling hand on his shoulder and kept talking until finally the judge relented.

  “Mr Greenwood, your lawyer makes a fine point. Two eminently qualified individuals have provided the court with opposing views on whether Mr Matthew Night’s interests are best served in or out of your care.”

  “Please your honor,” Seth shook off Simon’s arm. “Please ask Matthew any questions. Have me in the room or outside the room if that will assure you that he is telling the truth and not influenced by me. Ask him anything.”

  “As much as I would enjoy the testimony of Mr Night, and I understand he has made his views well known to community services, I’m afraid I need to take into account the views of adults.”

  The judge looked around the room.

  “Is there anyone here who could provide a personal reference for you as a parent. Someone who knows you, has witnessed you with Matthew and can vouch on your behalf and someone I believe will also have Matthew’s interests at heart.”

  Seth looked around. Joanne left when the baby needed changing and sleep. He shook his head at Simon. “No one here.”

  “Your honor, I ask for a short recess to allow my client to contact his references and make them available for your questions.”

  “It is Friday afternoon and we all deserve an early start to the weekend. The hearing is adjourned until nine am on Monday morning.”

  Stunned, Seth didn’t remember leaving the court house or having Simon order him a drink.

  “I hate to say this, but you need someone that the judge is forced to believe, and it can’t just be old friends.” Simon sat next to him, pulling out his phone. “I’ll give Grace a call.”

  “No, I’ll do it.” Seth stirred the sugar into his coffee as his fingers hovered over the keypad. Simon was right, the logical call would be Grace. Surely, they would believe the mother of his other children and the woman who trusted him to raise them.

  Grace owed him.

  He dialed … “Lucy, it’s Seth.”

  Yet another message went through to message bank.

  Lucy curled up in the big chair, flicking through Seth’s social media account. Pictures after pictures of him with the kids and with friends. All memories of Grace erased from his timeline.

  Still, she couldn’t shake the look on his face when he held the photo or ignore his words.

  A night loving him, claiming every inch of him as her own. Kissing, massaging, paying homage to being together again.

  Wanting to feel secure enough that they could face fighting for Matt together. Looking forward to sharing their joy with the kids and their friends.

  Only for her to wonder if it was all some smoke screen. Get her onside to curry favor with community services and to fill a temporary void in his bed. One that emotionally still belonged to his ex, “I love them so much.”

  Damn him.

  Another message.

  Clearly, the court hearing didn’t go well. Too bad.

  She pushed the thought aside, yes it was too bad for Matt. But she couldn’t be there as a social worker – her conflict of interest would only hurt his cause. And she couldn’t be there as a friend. No matter how hard Jo tried to convince her otherwise.

  “Who else has he
got in his corner?”

  “That’s not my fault.”

  “He gave up most of his friends in the last year or so, trying to make her happy.”

  “Not my problem. Leave me alone.”

  “If you care about him, you’d reach out. He needs all the friends he can get and at least you know the system.”

  “Perhaps I want to be more than his social worker booty call!” she lost her patience with Jo. “Good old Lucy. Great for giving advice in the morning and head at night. All the while, he’ll dream of someone else. Not bloody likely.”

  “He misses you.”

  “I don’t care.”

  She only wished that were true.

  Nobody’s Second Best

  After leaving her the sixth call, he didn’t even trust that she saw them. What if she had blocked him. Then again, Simon’s calls were going through to voice mail as well.

  “Jo, it all turned to custard. I need Lucy to vouch for me.”

  “Seth, I’m telling you to leave her alone. I’ve never seen her like this and you have to give her space.”

  “If she doesn’t help me, they will take Matt away,” he screamed into the phone, knowing it wasn’t Jo’s fault he had screwed up his life.

  “Then call Grace.”

  “Can’t you call Lucy for me? Surely, she can put aside whatever crap she’s holding onto about me for the sake of my family. For heaven’s sake, she is supposed to be all about keeping families together. She can’t just ignore me like this.”

  “I tried calling after the judge announced the recess. She didn’t listen to me and now she isn’t answering my calls anymore than she is answering yours.”

  “Then I’m screwed.”

  “Call Grace. I’m the last person who wants to give you this advice, but she’s the only one who can help now. And she owes you.”

  He slumped in his study chair, looking over at the cupboard that held the memories of his children, too precious to throw out, give away or even store in the garage. Knowing they were an arms length away made the hours he spent in here almost worth while.

 

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