Making Monster Girls 2: For Science!

by Eric Vall

  Out of the corner of my eye, the cat-woman faded from view, and I barely noticed her against the dark fabric of the tarp. If it’d been anyone else with an untrained eye, they wouldn’t have seen her at all in the hail of cold rain. Though, earlier when we were outside of Josephine’s tent, I hadn’t known she was there until she spoke up, had her invisibility gotten better over time? It’d seemed so as I took a second peek over my shoulder at the place where the ash-blonde woman should’ve been.

  I turned back around, tightened my grip on the reins, and angled them toward the off-ramp toward the way station. The small rest stop was nothing more than a small outcropping of three businesses, one of them being a combined restaurant and tavern. Even though the road we traveled on was heavily used, only a few people bustled in and out of the small buildings on the side of the road. Ahead of us, the same black carriage from before swerved to the left, bumped precariously onto the ramp, and rolled to a stop in the muddy dirt.

  “Whoa!” I shouted to our mares. “Whoa there!”

  The reins were slick in my hands, but the beasts responded immediately, slowed, and then slid to a stop in the muddy path. I tied the horses off to one of the posts, turned toward the bed of the wagon, lifted my arms, grabbed Daisy by the waist, and then set her down on a less muddy patch of the ground. I turned, gazed over the few carriages in the lot, sighed, and then turned back to the brunette.

  “It doesn’t look like they’ve arrived just yet,” I whispered. “We’ll just have to wait them out then, do you have the letter?”

  Daisy’s reply was drowned out by the heavy rain for a second. She leaned her head back, stared at me with those luminous golden eyes, and opened her lips to speak again.

  “Thank the science,” I breathed as the rain finally started to let up. “What did you say again, I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you?”

  “Charles, the letter--”

  The brunette’s voice was cut off as the black carriage’s door slammed open, swung wide, and then cracked against the wooden side. A black boot stepped out, squished into the deep mud with a loud feminine scoff, but I turned away with disinterest. I grunted out of annoyance, placed a hand on the bear-girl’s shoulder, and nodded for her to go on.

  “Well, well, well,” a sultry, venomous voice growled. “What do we have here? Charles Rayburn and Ms. Daisy Browning? What a… lovely coincidence.”

  I knew that voice even though I’d only heard it a few times before, and I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was standing behind us.

  “Chief Constable Ortensia,” I pasted on a fake smile, turned, and then bowed low to her. “What luck to run into you here!”

  “Yes,” the scarlet-haired woman drawled out. “How lucky of you… I had no idea you’d be in the area today, why have you come here?”

  The question may have been asked casually, but it was anything but that. Ortensia may have been a high-power woman, but she certainly wasn’t stupid, and I had to prepare myself for an interrogation.

  “Is it any of your business?” Daisy snapped.

  Ortensia’s single eye widened at the brunette’s tone, her scarlet eyebrows raised, and the corners of her lips pinched downward into a grimace.

  “I am the Chief Constable,” Ortensia breathed. “I’m allowed to ask civilians such questions if I wish. I only observed that the two of you had left your usual spot in Edenhart, and it piqued my curiosity, is that so bad?”

  “If you need to know,” the bear-girl scoffed. “We were out at Josephine’s mines for the past day and a half, repairing her broken elevator. Happy?”

  “Of course, of course,” the woman with the eyepatch snickered. “I hadn’t forgotten that the good doctor made contracts with the three aristocrats, but that still doesn’t answer my question… why are you here? At this way station? Twenty-five miles away from the mines… in the opposite direction.”

  “Again,” the gorgeous brunette snapped. “It’s none of your--”

  “My Mistress was feeling a bit peckish,” I smiled. “So, we decided to drive a few miles here to grab something to eat, and then return home.”

  Ortensia’s plucked eyebrow above the black eyepatch raised, her red lips puckered, and her jade eye narrowed on my face for a moment. It was clear to me that she wasn’t buying anything we’d just said, and I had to wonder… why was the Chief Constable so suspicious of us? To the outside world, we’d done nothing wrong, we weren’t criminals or killers, but somehow… the Chief Constable seemed to see right through us.

  From the way Ortensia sucked in her cheeks, smacked her lips, and then aimed her single jade eye toward her carriage, it was clear she had no way to poke holes in our story. I wasn’t sure if the Chief Constable treated us this way because she simply didn’t like us, or if she actually had something on us and hadn’t admitted it yet. The latter made me the most anxious, I’d been so thorough when we’d left the crime scene, but it made me wonder… had we been as careful as I’d thought we were? Had we left some sign or clue that’d prove we’d been there?

  “Why are you here, Ortensia?” Daisy mocked.

  “I don’t have to answer that,” the scarlet-haired beauty chuckled. “But, if you have to know, I’m here to accompany a letter back to Edenhart for the Duchess.”

  For the love of science… Could I never catch a break? Every single time I needed to get something done, one of these atrocious women stepped in my way. If it’d just been the courier and his guards, we would’ve been fine, but now, Ortensia, too? I wasn’t even sure if switching the letter would be possible.

  And if I couldn’t switch out the letter, then my life would quickly fall apart.

  “But,” Ortensia sighed, placed her hands on her hips, shielded her eye from the fast-falling rain, and gazed toward the road. “It seems they’ve been delayed by the weather, which is vexing, Edony wants that letter as soon as possible, its contents are of the utmost importance.”

  We already knew what that letter contained, the news that the Daisy Browning now living in Edenhart was not the same one from the east, and if that piece of paper fell into the Duchess’ hands, it’d be the end of my world.

  “Oh, is that them?” the scarlet-haired woman asked. “It seems that the weather hasn’t affected them at all, how wonderful.”

  An all-white carriage with details in gold pulled into the way station, rolled in the mud, and then slowed to a stop. The door opened slowly, five men piled out, and then a woman dressed in all white. The men helped her down, brushed off her intricate embroidered jacket, glanced toward us menacingly, and then turned in unison toward the tavern.

  “Ah, this must be them, though I am surprised Edony sent a female courier,” Ortensia sighed. “Hello there! I’m Chief Constable Ortensia, I’m here to receive the letter!”

  The woman, clothed in white, snapped her head in the Chief Constable’s direction, grimaced, rolled her eyes, and moved on without speaking. The courier was petite, almost child-like in size with chin-length, straight black hair. A pair of round spectacles rested on the bridge of her button nose, and when she glanced in our direction, I saw that her enormous eyes were the same blinding white as her clothes.

  The tiny woman wore knee-length light leather boots, a pair of dark pantyhose, a pristine, ruffled white skirt, an admiral’s jacket with large copper buttons, and a jaunty, tri-corner hat with a golden pin with the Queen’s crest pressed into the metal.

  “Hello?” the Chief Constable snarked. “I’m here to receive the letter for Duchess Edony.”

  The woman surrounded by guards paused, kept her head aimed straightforward, lifted a single gloved hand in Ortensia’s direction, and then hissed out of the corner of her mouth.

  “I have had a very long journey,” the female courier barked. “Please do not speak to me until after I’ve rested and had a refreshing drink.”

  “You… you can’t speak to me that way!” Ortensia shouted. “I’m the Chief Constable, I demand that you address me with respect and honor.”


  “And I am the Queen’s royal courier,” the petite woman jeered. “Since I move from city to city, and am tasked with delivering private correspondence between the noble class, I am not under your jurisdiction, which ultimately means… I am not under your control. Now, please, allow me to enter into this… fine establishment, have a drink, and then I will speak to you about the letter.”

  The courier brushed past Ortensia along with her large group of guards, glanced over her shoulder at the Chief Constable in disgust, scoffed, and then pushed on until she disappeared inside of the tavern. I kept my eyes glued onto the bed of our wagon, but I saw no shift or change in the air that would reveal Valerie.

  “Shall we?” I asked, offered my arm to Daisy, and then led her toward the tavern. “The faster we eat, the faster we can get back on the road.”

  “Charles…” the brunette whispered under her breath. “What are we going to do? If we’re inside with the Chief Constable, and the courier, we can’t switch the letters.”

  “Don’t worry,” I assured her. “I have a plan.”

  I swiveled my eyes toward Ortensia, peeked into the tavern where the courier settled herself down at a small table, and then smiled. I held tightly onto the brunette, grinned widely as I angled my body sideways, and opened my mouth to speak.

  “I heard something quite funny, Ms. Browning,” I stated loud enough for the Chief Constable to hear.

  I slipped my free hand into my trouser pocket, wrapped my hand around the bottle I’d placed there earlier when I concocted the elixir for Josephine, and held it tightly in my palm. I’d put it in my pocket by mistake while I was putting away my ingredients and meant to put it back in my medical bag, but it seemed that the small, full vial would be useful in this situation.

  “And what is that, Charles?” Daisy asked.

  “I heard a rumor,” I chuckled. “That the women from the east can drink more than those from the capital. Have you heard that, too?”

  Daisy’s brows furrowed in confusion. Her golden eyes wandered over my face, but I signaled for her to go along with me with a vigorous nod.

  “Ah, yes,” the brunette giggled lightly. “I’ve heard that rumor, too, and I can assure you, it’s true. It’s almost as if us women from the east have a second belly only for alcohol.”

  I peeked out of the corner of my eye at Ortensia. The scarlet-haired woman’s mouth pulled down at the edges, and her leather-gloved hands tightened into fists.

  “It’s almost a shame,” I tittered. “I bet you could drink any woman from the capital under the table! I’ve seen you drink twenty ales in one sitting, I bet no other woman from the capital could match that.”

  “You could outdrink a woman from the capital?” Ortensia scoffed. “We’re skilled drinkers from the moment we’re strong enough to lift a filled tankard!”

  “Oh?” Daisy snickered. “I sincerely doubt that. We women from the east are given ale as babies to soothe us to sleep, I doubt you can boast that.”

  We already knew that Ortensia was strong-willed and prideful, but an insult to the women of her home city? No, that was unforgivable. If we could push her just a little without giving away our intentions, we’d have her in the palm of our hands.

  “Are you challenging me?” Ortensia barked. “I’ve outdrank grown brutes before, I could easily outdrink a tiny, eastern woman like you!”

  “Then, a challenge it is!” I chuckled. “Shall we ask the courier to join in? She has no tie to any of the lands, it would be a fair fight between the three of you.”

  “Oh, I’m sure the courier would love to join in,” Ortensia grumbled, brushed past us, and threw open the doors to the tavern.

  I grabbed Daisy’s hand, raced toward the door, but only stopped when the brunette tugged me a few steps back.

  “Charles,” the bear-girl whispered. “I can’t do this, I’ve never drank before… Do you remember when Valerie brought up all the alcohol from the wine cellar? I only had one glass, and it knocked me out! If I do this, I’ll only be an embarrassment!”

  “You’re going to win, don’t worry,” I assured her.

  “How do you know?” the brunette gasped. “I can’t!”

  “You’ll win with this,” I grinned, glanced toward the door, pulled out the vial from my pocket, held it in my hand, and showed it to her.

  “What is that, Charles?” Daisy asked.

  “It’s a special concoction from when I still worked my stall on the streets,” I grinned. “It’s a brew I made myself, no one else knows the recipe.”

  “But that doesn’t explain what it does!” the beautiful woman whimpered.

  “I call it ‘Dalie,’ each letter signifies the different ingredients I put in it, but that’s beside the point,” I explained. “You sprinkle it into alcohol, and the liquor in the drink evaporates instantly.”

  “But what does that mean?” Daisy shook her head.

  “When they pass you the drink, I wave my hand over it, sprinkle some of this into the liquid,” I elaborated. “And your ales will become nonalcoholic… you’ll be able to outdrink both the Chief Constable and the courier! Then once they’re in a drunken stupor, we’ll sneak outside, switch the letters, and ride home with no one the wiser.”

  Daisy’s expression cleared, and her lips turned up into a broad smile. She threw herself at me, pressed soft kisses to my cheeks, and then leaned away to gaze up into my face.

  “Charles Rayburn,” the brunette breathed. “How in the world did you get so brilliant?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  The Queen’s courier sat at a low table in the corner by herself across the room. Her guards huddled together in a silent circle, and I watched as Ortensia made a beeline for the woman clothed in all white. The dark-haired courier sighed, lifted her eyes from her full tankard, glared at the scarlet-haired woman, leaned back in her crude chair, and then crossed her arms over her sunken chest.

  “What do you want?” the courier snapped. “I told you to leave me alone until after I’ve rested and had a drink.”

  “Well, that’s why we’re here,” Ortensia snickered. “Daisy Browning has made a bet that women from the east can outdrink those from the capital. I came here to ask if you’d like to join us in this little wager.”

  “Women from the east pitted against women from the capital?” the courier echoed. “I have no ties to any of the lands, I am merely an employee of the Queen and her courts.”

  “Well, you must have been born somewhere,” Daisy interjected. “Where do you hail from originally?”

  “Lustenfurt,” the petite woman replied. “But my family has been the royal couriers for generations.”

  “Lustenfurt?” Ortensia repeated. “Ah, yes, the largest city to the south on the coastline, that’s perfect. That means we have a woman from the east, a woman from the south, and one from the west… if only we had another contender from north… Oh well, we’ll manage without a fourth.”

  “I have no objections to a drinking contest,” the courier breathed. “But how long do you think this will take? I have to be back in Edenhart before nightfall, at least. The Duchess is expecting this letter, and I have certain time constraints on my traveling.”

  “Exactly the sort of excuse a southerner would give to avoid a contest,” Daisy scoffed as she turned her nose up in the air. “You can come right out and say you’re too scared to join.”

  The woman dressed in white clothes lips twisted, her expression hardened, opened her mouth to speak, but paused as Ortensia broke in.

  “Who knows?” Ortensia shrugged. “But not only that, I’m here to receive the letter, so I’m sure once this is over, you can hand the letter over to me, and I can deliver it to the Duchess.”

  “I would love to do that, but do you have a work order from the Duchess herself?” the dark-haired woman in white asked. “I cannot hand over the letter to you in good conscience if you are not who you say you are. Yes, the constable outfit and medals look quite believable, but it wouldn’t be t
he first time a deliverer was duped into handing over an important document.”

  Each woman’s expressions were soured with annoyance, I sat back in my chair and watched as the two stared each other down with heated eyes. I’d never met a Queen’s courier before, and I had to wonder, why was the Queen’s messenger delivering the letter from the Browning’s? Did the two families have some sort of ties together? I had no conception of aristocratic politics since my energies were fully devoted to the pursuit of knowledge, so everything was a total conjecture.

  “Do I have a work order?” the scarlet-haired woman asked, threw back her head, rested a hand on her flat stomach, and cackled. “She asked if I have a work order! Do you think I’m stupid? Of course, I have a work order from the Duchess. Edony sent me because she knew that if I were the one to receive the letter, it would get to her faster than the usual courier.”

  “Are you criticizing my mode of transportation?” the petite woman griped. “I’ll have you know that my carriage is the best out of all in the capital, it was given to me directly from the Queen herself!”

  “No, no,” Ortensia tutted. “Not at all, I simply mean that the Duchess prefers to have the letter handed over to her by someone she trusts, which would be me in this situation.”

  “Very well,” the courier stated, sat back in her chair, and lifted a white-gloved hand into the air. “Hand over the papers, and I will assess them for myself.”

  “There is no need, everything is in order, but,” Ortensia patted her chest, rifled through her pockets, and then produced a thin packet of papers. “If you must, here they are, signed and dated by Duchess Edony herself.”

  The dark-haired woman snatched the papers away, read through the first page, skimmed the second, flipped to the third page, clicked her tongue, nodded, and then handed back the packet.

  “Everything seems to be in order,” the courier smiled. “Why don’t you sit down, and we will begin our challenge. I didn’t quite catch all of your names, I am the Royal Courier for the Queen, Millicent Chegwidden. You are?”