Always (Wesson Rebel M.C. Series)

by Colt, Shyla

  “Please…you’ve seen my wife and felt her pussy. You going to tell me you could keep your hands off it? Besides, that shit was done purposefully.”

  “You had it out for that girl from the minute she was semi-legal.”

  I shrug. There’s no shame in my feelings for her. When she grew a pair at fifteen and started looking less like my little buddy who followed me around her entire life, I knew it was just a matter of time until we were together. Because there was no way I’d let any other asshole touch her. I sealed her fate with mine the first chance I got and staked my claim. People thought R squared was an accident, but they couldn’t be more wrong. He’s my legacy and my link to Cora forever, no matter what happened. I never pretended to be a perfect man. I’ve fucked up with her many times and I knew it would never really stop. When the club comes first and everything else comes second, feelings get hurt, needs go unmet and sometimes, old ladies get sick of it. Still, the things a mother would do for her child were unparallel to anything else. I’d seen it with my own two eyes. Some people would call me manipulative, but I thought of myself as a planner. We were in this for the long run. So, I made my choices with that expectation in mind.

  “Even if that is true, I held off until she was twenty-one, I should be nominated for saint hood.”

  “Jesus, dude.”

  “What?” I shrug. “I’m lucky. There are motherfuckers out there old and craggy who’ve never experienced an ounce of what we have with Cora and Rowan.”

  “Truth,” he agrees. “You ready to tell me what the fuck is going on with the club now?”

  I nod. I knew this was coming. “We’re battening down the hatches, brother. Revenge is coming, and we want to be ready for blowback. First, we need to let them get antsy.”

  “It’s been months, since they hit us and Rufus went into that coma, so how long are we going to wait?”

  “Not sure. We got some bitches on the inside feeding us information. When Dad thinks the time is right, we’ll strike.”

  “I want to be here for that,” Danny says.

  “Consider it done.”

  “So, you and Cora?”

  “Rocky road, man that shit with Reaper getting hit and hospitalized fucked her up bad. It’s like she wants to live inside this shell and not get too deep with anything. One minute, I break through to her and the next, we’re backsliding. It’s frustrating as hell.” I take my doctored coffee, stir it with a spoon and take a sip, welcoming the rich taste.

  “It’s not surprising after something like that. Maybe she should see a shrink or something.”

  I snort. “If I thought she’d go and it’d help, I would say yes. I think it’s just something she has to work through, we have to.” I grip the handle of the mug tight and it snaps. “Shit.” Hot liquid dribbles onto the floor and I place it in the sink.

  “Dal?”

  I glance up at him. “I can’t lose her or R2, Danny. They’re my fucking life. I’d leave this shit all behind if I had to—just to keep them.”

  His jaw drops.

  It sounds insane. I was raised in this and I spent most of my adult life bending over backward to be the perfect rider for my father. It used to mean the world. Then Cora and I happened. She’s the only person who sees me for me. I never have to pretend or be more than what I am with her. It’s rare and it’s everything I never realized I needed or wanted until I got it.

  “There’s no way you’d ever lose Cora. She’s been in love with you since she was thirteen.”

  His words reassure me. There are days I fear I’m fighting a losing battle. When the girl I knew is hidden so firmly behind her defenses, I wonder if she’ll ever return to me. Having Reaper in limbo makes it harder. There’s no closure and with every visit, she relives that moment. I take a deep breath.

  “She’s worth the fight too, isn’t she?” Danny says.

  “Always.”

  Present

  My stomach rolls. I stumble out of bed into the bathroom and dry heave. I left that behind. I damaged the beautiful woman I only so recently helped put back together. How can I justify that? Why is my pain greater than what she went through? The questions swirl around in my head and I still have no answers. The self loathing of the past rears its ugly head. I don’t know who I am without my father and the thing I fear most is becoming the failure he always claimed I was. I strip down and climb into the shower with only two things on my mind, food and the road. The only thing that helps is being on the back of my bike where I don’t have to think, where I can outrace the demons in my mind.

  Never Let me Go

  Rowan

  I open my eyes, reach for Danny and find his side of the bed cold. I’m not surprised. He’s always been an early riser. But given everything that’s going on, I’m worried. He never said shit last night. He spent himself in my arms. My pussy gives a delicious twinge at the memory. I loved it, but it does nothing to clear the air. I push up into a sitting position and sigh. This is the worst case scenario. Danny “Sampson” Wesson at the helm of a ship he never wanted to command. I scrub my face with my hands and swing my legs over the side of the bed. We’re healing now, regrouping and planning. For the millionth time, I curse Wesson and their rules. I won’t know shit until we’re suddenly thrust into a lockdown.

  I understand the rules for the whores. They don’t need to know shit, but Wesson women, the old ladies, we can hold our water. They say it’s to keep us safe, but that’s bullshit. There’s no such thing as honor among thieves’. Other MC’s give a fuck about the women not knowing anything. They want to hurt you, so they go for your heart. Irritated as fuck, I huff, blowing the hair out of my eyes. It’s going to be like dating a spy. The times of sharing everything were over. He would live two lives, the one with the club and the one with me. I bow my head. This isn’t what I wanted, or what we promised each other. He always told me I came first, Wesson rules be damned. Now, it will all change.

  Past

  “What are you hesitating for, Ro? We’ve been together since we were fifteen. I’m patched now and it’s time to make you my Old Lady.” Danny’s brow furrows and his eye glaze over with confusion.

  “You don’t get it.” I stand from his bed and walk toward the door.

  His hands wraps around my bicep, and he yanks me back. “So, explain it to me, Rowan.” His voice has an edge and his eyes are narrowed.

  “The patch changes everything. You’re not a free agent anymore. They’re going to come first and secrets are going to start building up between us.” I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can do that with you.”

  He gives me shake. “What the hell are you talking about? This is how it goes and you know it.”

  “I know, I know and I understand. But I love us how we are, I don’t want to change. I can’t sit back and watch this disintegrate. I’d rather make a clean break.”

  “Are you out of your fucking mind, little girl?” He charges forward like a moose.

  I break away in a zig-zag pattern. I can’t let him catch me because I know he’ll remind me of all the reasons why I should stay. The thought of watching him grow hard and distant is too much. I’ll break—shatter into a million pieces. He’s my first love. A strong, loyal, sweet man. Different from any other member I know.

  They’ll steal that away from him, suck out his innocence and replace it with obedience, turning him into another soldier in the Wesson army. His father is the P and they’ve always expected more of him. I’ve seen what that’s done to his old brother, Dallas. That poor man never had a chance at normal. He lives in a state of confliction that’s tearing him in two right before our eyes. The boozer and the women he’s running through, like he has a death wish have nothing to do with the club lifestyle.

  I won’t watch Danny become that.

  He snatches me up around the waist. “Calm the fuck down, Rowan!”

  I struggle, then flinch at the harsh tone. He never talks like that to anyone, let alone me.

  “You thought wha
t? You’d drop your bombshell and walk out while I sit here like a pussy? This isn’t a fucking soap opera.” He flings me onto the bed.

  The breath leaves my lungs in a rush.

  “Now, sit your ass down and start explaining.” He crosses his arms over his massive chest. His jaw is clenched and his nostrils are flaring.

  Now, for the first time, I’m actually intimidated by his large frame. “What’s there to say?”

  “Everything. Why this scares you so much.” His gaze softens. “You’re not a runner, Ro, so why start now.”

  “Self-preservation. I can’t watch you lose yourself in this.”

  “Who says I will?” He shakes his head. “You and I have always been different. Why would that change now?”

  “Because that’s what being a patched member does. Look at Dallas. You’re not just another member, Rule is your father. Being the Pres’ son—?”

  “No. Don’t you put that on me. My father and Dallas’ issues are their own. It’s a monster made between the both of them and they feed it until it’s grown ravenous and fat. It consumes Dallas. But that was never me. I never gave a shit about pleasing the man, because I think it’s impossible.” He shakes his head. “You really think I’d forget what we’ve built together, Ro?” He kneels in front of the bed and takes my hands. “Together, we have made a safe place where Wesson isn’t allowed to enter. When I come home to you, I leave all that shit outside. You are my heart. I will never let anything come before you. Will I always be able to tell you everything I’ve done? No. But you’re used to that. We can do this.”

  “Danny…” My voice cracks.

  “Don’t leave me alone in the darkness Ro, you’re my light. You always have been. I can’t do this and remain the man you love…without you.”

  His word wounds me. I can’t contribute to his fall.

  “I promise you, Ro. You will always be my top priority. Whatever I have to do to keep you, to keep this will be done.” His eyes are glossy with unshed tears.

  Right now, he’s so raw and honest I know he means it. Danny is a man of his word, always has been. I’m choking on unshed tears, fear and uncertainty. I’m shaking so hard, I feel like my bones are going to break away. If I commit to this—there’s no out for me.

  “Rowan?” His eyes are pleading with me.

  The sight of this strong man brought to his knees by the thought of my departure is the slap to the face I need. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I drop my head and stare at our hands joined in my lap.

  He frames my face with his hands and lifts my head to meet his gaze. “We are forever, Rowan. I said that shit when we were sixteen when I made you mine for the first time and I meant it.” He moves forward slowly and captures my lips. “Forever.”

  The whispered words send a shiver down my spine. He nibbles my bottom lip and flicks the sensitive area with his tongue, coaxing me to engage. He breaches my lip and captures my tongue—and I’m lost. I give in to the inevitable. Danny Wesson and I are forever. Even if I walked away, no one else could ever hold my heart the way he does, or understand who I am beneath all the layers I wrap around me to protect myself.

  He spreads my legs wide and my skirt rides up to my waist. He trails his fingers over my panties, rubbing my swelling clit through the soft material. There are no words, only our gazes holding each other, our bodies feeling and the repairing of the connection that lives between us.

  My heart is thudding in my chest like I’ve run a marathon.

  He pushes my panties aside and circles my entrance.

  I clutch at his thick, blunt fingers with my pussy, craving more. My energy has shifted and I’m aching to burn it off.

  Pulling away, he grabs the sides of my underwear and rolls them down. I lift my hips to help. He brings the black material to his nose and inhales deep, humming his approval. Heat engulfs me from the tip of my ears to the bottom of my feet—this man sets me ablaze.

  Even with his size, Danny is graceful. I watch his muscles flex as he strips down and comes to me with his thick dick in his hand. He strokes it from root to tip and my mouth waters with the urge to taste the milky beads of liquid trailing down his mushroom shaped head. He gives a slight shake of his head. He wants to be inside me now and I want it too—badly.

  We’ve weathered another storm together and I need to reconnect, to feel that closeness only he can provide me. I crawl back on the bed and he follows. His fingers grip my hips and he drives home. My walls wrap around him and I’m full. I grip his shoulders as we move together. He’s slow and thorough, grinding his hips into mine as he bottoms out over and over, making this sweet climb to the top. My toes curl into the bed and I match him stroke for stroke. Sweat rolls down between the valley of my breasts. I wrap my legs around his waist and he moans. His back is slick and his skin is hot to the touch.

  Our eyes never stray as we communicate on the most basic level.

  Sparks of pleasure began to erupt. My walls tighten and the pressure reaches its peak. I convulse.

  He cries out moments later, filling me with all he has to give. He collapses on top of me, taking the most of his weight on his forearms.

  I welcome the weight.

  “What are we, Rowan,” he whispers.

  “Forever.”

  “And don’t you ever forget it, baby.”

  Present

  The memory draws tears. I stumble out of bed to the bathroom. I don’t want him to see me like this. He has enough on his plate. It’s time to put my wants on a shelf. Wesson has taken control, like it always does sooner or later. This life is all I know, but sometimes…I hate it. Beneath the spray of the shower, I let my tears fall as I mourn for Rule who is now gone, what could’ve been and what might never be. Dallas look ravaged when he rode away and deep down, I’m terrified he’s never going to come back. The devastation his leaving forever would bring is horrifying.

  How long can Danny keep the crown? What will it do to him? There are plenty of people who want to be on top. They’re lurking in the background waiting for him to fuck up. My mind goes to Scar. It already takes a firm hand to keep him in line. What happens if Danny can’t? Then what? Last thing we need is a bloodthirsty asshole on the loose, unchecked. We have enough to deal with. The blowback from Rolling Bones has yet to trickle down and the boys already want to ride back out to avenge, Rule. It’s a turbulent time and for once, I’m not sure how Wesson is going to weather.

  My thoughts return to my best friend. I haven’t had a chance to see where her head is right now. That robo shit she pulled yesterday was bullshit, but I let it slide, because Danny needed me more. Now, her ass is about to be in the hot seat. With my mind focused on something I can actually help with, I finish up my shower. I then put on a pair of blue jeans and white tank top. I slip on a pair of flip flops, grab my wallet and phone, then walk outside to find the club looking like a ghost town. Must be in Church. I nod at the prospect milling around and head outside. The sunshine feels good on my skin. I narrow my eyes blinking as I adjust to the drastic change in lighting. The air is lighter out here and I hurry to my truck, eager to get away from the clubhouse.

  I pull up in front the house that used to be home and a sense of unease settles in. I climb out and walk over to the door, almost hesitant to use my key to enter. The awkwardness makes me wince. I should’ve called her more and kept up with her. College had been an escape. We forgot about Wesson for a while, pretended to be normal, did the shit normal college kids did, and distanced ourselves. In that process, we’d lost something. I place the key in the lock and push the front door open. Everything looks the same on the surface, but there’s an emptiness as if the soul of the home has fled.

  Tiny feet pound across the pavement with Cora right behind. I see the hope in her brown eyes when they round the corner.

  “Wo!” R waves his chubby arms and barrels into my legs.

  I bend down and pat his back. “Hey, buddy.”

  He’s grown so big since we’ve gone. Wh
en you’re talking infant to toddlers, six months is a lifetime. He went from this tiny bundle of cuteness who nuzzled at you to a little man. We’d done face time, Skype and the occasional visits. But I wasn’t prepared for the miniature Dallas standing in front of me. His dark brown hair is a faux hawk and his eyes are large innocent looking green orbs. I don’t think I can remember his father’s ever looking like that.

  “Hey,” Cora says.

  Her lackluster greeting makes me frown. “Hi. I came to see how you were doing.”

  R releases my legs and toddles back down the hallway to the playroom. We follow him at a slower pace.

  “I’m fine. We’re fine.”

  “Really? Is that why you can’t even look at me?”

  “What do you want me to say, Ro?” She shrugs. “I just came back from seeing my father. It kills me to see him so weak, struggling to gain every facility back he lost in an echo of gun fire.”

  Ro dropped her head. “I’m sorry, Cora. I know it’s not easy, but he’s alive, and fighting. That’s amazing.” I glance at her, not about to let her hide behind the tragedy we’d all been through. “I still know you. There’s something more. Don’t keep everything bottled up.”

  “Why? You want me to spill my guts and fall to pieces…for what?” Her voice is hushed as we watch R play on the other side of the room. “It serves no purpose, Ro. I’m not going to keep doing this. I shouldn’t have let him back inside the last time. That was on me. There won’t be a next time.” She narrows her eyes at the last part.

  I could swear ice forms over her heart. “Cora, you don’t have to decide anything now. Give yourself time to process everything. A lot’s happened.”

  She turns to stare at me and shakes her head. “He made a promise to me and he fucking broke it. You wanted to know what he did to get through to me the last time after—Dad…” She trails off and shakes her head, taking a moment to gather herself. “…After the attack.” She blinks and swallows. “He promised me he’d never leave me like that again. Now tell me, what the fuck did he just do, and where is he? Not here, that’s for fucking sure.”