Room at the Edge

by Jane Davitt

  “I have something else for you both too,” Austin said diffidently. After Jay’s spectacular present he almost wanted to leave it where it was, hidden in his sock drawer, but it meant too much to him to do that.

  “Rock, paper, scissors for who goes first,” Liam said and held out his hand.

  Austin laughed, enjoying seeing Liam’s playful side surface. “Okay. One, two, three…”

  He wanted to go last, so he went for scissors, guessing Liam would choose rock, as he did. The choices in the game were rarely random, at least not in the first round.

  Back upstairs they split up.

  “Mine isn’t a gift you can unwrap exactly, but there is some paperwork, so I printed it off.” Liam headed for his study. “It’s in my desk. Give me a minute.”

  “I have to get mine too.” Austin walked to the foot of the stairs. “Jay, if you want to grab a trash bag for all the paper in the family room, that’d be great.”

  “It’s only paper!” Jay hollered after him, but Austin knew by the time he returned, Jay would have gotten most of it bagged up.

  He was last back, having taken a minute to straighten the bed and set lube out within reach. Liam had lifted the ban on not coming while he was away, but Jay and he hadn’t taken advantage of it much. Too full, too sleepy, too busy—but they’d been excuses for not making love, not reasons. Liam’s absence had been the reason.

  Besides, it had only been a few days, even if it felt like a lot longer.

  “All right?” Liam asked from his seat beside Jay, and Austin nodded. He loved the way Liam joined them on the couch now, part of the group, not sitting off to one side observing them. The little satin bags that held Jay’s and Liam’s gifts were in his pocket. “Good. Would you like to sit down, then?” He lifted an eyebrow, and Austin felt himself flush.

  “Yeah. Sorry.” Austin sat quickly.

  “Don’t be sorry.” Liam was holding two plain white envelopes that seemed to be sealed. “Open them at the same time, please.”

  Jay and Austin each took one of the envelopes, then looked at each other.

  “Well, go on.”

  Austin slid his fingertip under the edge of the envelope and pried it up. He was trying to be careful, to not tear the paper, whereas Jay had already ripped his envelope open and was unfolding the sheets of paper inside. They looked like regular printer paper, nothing fancy. Austin realized he had no idea what to expect from this gift. What would be on a plain piece of paper? The only thought that came into his head was that it was a photo of something Liam had ordered that hadn’t come in time for Christmas, which was a depressing thought.

  He set the envelope down and unfolded the paper, reading it fast to try to catch up to Jay. It seemed to be reservations for somewhere, in a couple of weeks’ time. An inn. No, a bed-and-breakfast—there was a photo of one of the bedrooms with a huge bed, and another of a bathroom with what looked like a full-size hot tub next to a wall of windows that opened onto a panoramic view of mountains.

  “You got us a bed-and-breakfast?” Jay asked, frowning.

  Liam chuckled. “Not the whole thing—just a weekend. I asked Laura to check around and find a place we could relax, where no one would ask what we were up to.”

  “Going away would be nice,” Austin said. He was pleased, but the gift seemed a little ordinary for Liam, who had a knack for putting a spin on everything.

  “It’s a working holiday,” Liam said, his expression solemn, though his eyes were gleaming with amusement. “Don’t think you’ll be lounging around getting waited on.”

  “Sir, you’re teasing us,” Jay said plaintively. “Did you hire us out as slaves or something? Is it a kinky bed-and-breakfast?”

  Austin couldn’t help the startled yelp he gave, but Liam’s laughter drowned it out. “Your imagination… No. It’s a gay-friendly place and no one will mind us sharing, but its main appeal is that it’s in close to someone who’s an expert in fire play. Laura speaks highly of her. She’s going to show me the ropes and take things as far as you like in at least one session, Jay. I’ll be there of course, and Austin too, if he likes.”

  Jay’s lips parted, but it was a moment before he could speak. “Really? You’d do that? Oh my God. Oh my God. I can’t wait.” He scrambled onto Liam’s lap, kissing him fervently, babbling his thanks, before turning to smile at Austin, so intensely alive and joyous it made Austin’s throat close up, emotions threatening to overwhelm him.

  “And this isn’t just for Jay, Austin,” Liam said as Jay wriggled off his lap and moved to sit beside Austin, cuddling up close. “She’s got a friend who’s into something called shibari. Have you heard of it?” He gestured at the papers Austin was still holding. “Look at those others.”

  Shibari, rope bondage, was something Austin had heard of but only vaguely. He flipped through to the second page in his hands and stopped, spellbound by the images in front of him. Artfully lit photos of men and women bound in complicated, beautiful patterns of rope. Arms behind backs or held overhead—one of the men was suspended completely off the floor, body carved into a new, almost mystical shape by the loops and knots of rope.

  “Sir,” he said, his voice shaky. He wanted to ask how Liam had known what he wanted when he hadn’t known himself, but it was Liam. Of course he’d known.

  “I take it that’s a yes.” Liam smiled gently, and Austin felt not just loved, but understood. It was like being given a neatly wrapped package of everything he’d ever wanted, and it wasn’t a fantasy; it was real.

  Jay’s eyes were shining when Austin looked into them. “You look like you won the lottery.”

  “I feel like I did. I want to ask how you knew, but that’s your job, isn’t it? Taking care of us.” It wasn’t that simple—Austin and Jay took care of Liam too. They just did it in different ways. Reaching past Jay, Austin held his hand toward Liam, who took it and squeezed it. “Thank you for being so good at it.”

  “You have no idea how often I doubt myself or worry I’m going to fuck things up,” Liam said. “As your Dom, as your partner—as a friend. But if I ever do, tell me. I want this to work between us. If it fell apart, I’d be lost without you both.”

  “Don’t,” Jay said. “It won’t happen. We love each other too much to let it.”

  “Love’s not always enough.” The look in Liam’s eyes was distant, withdrawn, but only for a moment. Then he was with them again. “But we do have more than enough to go around, hmm?”

  Austin moved into Liam’s arms for a reassuring hug—though he wasn’t sure if he wanted to give or receive comfort—then felt something hard dig into his thigh. “Okay, ow.”

  “What’s wrong?” Liam asked.

  “I sat on your presents,” Austin explained, sitting up. “Don’t worry. They’re not breakable. Not easily, anyway.”

  He drew the bags out of his pocket, keeping one in his hand and passing the other two to Liam and Jay. “I had them made by a woman who does custom-order work. I saw her stuff at that craft fair we went to in the fall, Jay, and loved it, so I picked up her card.”

  Jay shook the bag, catching the spill of chain as it poured into his hand. He held it up, dangling from his fingers, three slender strands of metal, copper, silver, gold, with a small circle hanging from them, the center filled with interlacing strands of all three metals, giving the circle strength and purpose. “It’s beautiful work,” he said, assessing it as one artist to another. “I really like the abstract pattern inside the circle. That’s incredibly well-done.”

  “It’s not abstract,” Liam said before Austin could speak, holding up his identical necklace, an intent look on his face. “Look at it closer; it’s our initials, all three of them.”

  “I figured it was subtle enough that we could get away with them,” Austin said. He could already feel himself shifting into explanation mode. “I messed around for hours trying to figure out how big to make them—she didn’t think she could go much smaller than three quarters of an inch and still have room fo
r the initials. And Liam, your chain’s longer. I figured you’d want to be able to wear it under your dress shirts and have it totally hidden, but I didn’t think Jay would mind people seeing his.”

  “I won’t,” Jay said loyally. “Anyway, most people probably won’t look at it closely enough to see that it’s initials.”

  “I won’t be mad if you don’t want to wear them every day.” Austin hoped that had come out sounding more convincing than it did inside his head. “That’s not why I got them.”

  “You wanted something that would fall apart if one element was removed, as we would.” Liam ran his finger over the circle, touching it with the same loving care he’d shown Jay’s diorama. He raised his head. “I’ll wear it, Austin. Every day. You have one too?”

  Austin nodded and took his necklace out, holding it up. Because he’d designed it, he couldn’t look at it and not see the initials. “People will know what the A and the J stand for,” he said, making the circle spin so that it was a blur. “It’s the L they’ll ask about.”

  “So what will you tell them?” Liam said it casually, but it was clear the answer mattered to him.

  And really, the answer was easy. “For now? I’ll tell them the truth. That it stands for ‘love.’” Austin shrugged and put the necklace on, the metal warming quickly against his skin. “It does stand for that as well as your name, because I do. Love you, I mean. Both of you.”

  “We do,” Jay put in, his necklace already around his neck, tangled in his hair.

  Liam held out the necklace to Austin. For one heart-stopping moment, he thought it was being returned to him, but then Liam said, “I’d like you to put it on me,” and Austin could breathe again.

  Liam turned so that he was facing Jay, and Austin, his hands not shaking at all, did as he’d been told and saw the three colors gleam bright against Liam’s skin, saw the chains settle into place. It was that moment of a key fitting into a lock, silent click that reassured Austin in ways he hadn’t even known he’d needed to be reassured.

  “Okay,” he whispered and leaned in to kiss the back of Liam’s neck.

  “That won’t do at all,” Liam said, turning around. “I need to give you a proper kiss to thank you for such a thoughtful gift.” He slid a hand to the back of Austin’s neck and pulled him in, kissing him with such confidence and certainty that it took Austin’s breath away. No one would have believed for a second that Liam hadn’t been kissing men since he was a teenager.

  And really, wasn’t that all that mattered? That they were here, now, together, with the rest of their lives stretched out ahead of them? In the long run Austin couldn’t let his family’s opinions on his relationship outweigh what he knew he wanted.

  “I love you,” Austin said, with Liam’s lips pressed to his temple. He reached for Jay’s hand and gripped it tightly. “Both of you.”

  “You said that already,” Jay pointed out.

  “Yeah, and I’ll probably say it a hundred times more. Maybe a thousand.” Austin felt giddy. “I might even aim for a million, if that’s okay with you guys? Sir?”

  “Say it all you like,” Jay told him, caressing Austin’s hand with his thumb as he returned Austin’s hand clasp.

  Liam nodded, brushing his lips across Austin’s cheek. “We’ll be listening. Always.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The fire-retardant blanket covering the massage bench Jay lay on was warm against his skin. In the dimly lit room, it would’ve been easy to drift into dreams, and if he’d been waiting for a massage, he might have done just that, but he wasn’t.

  He was waiting for Liam to send teasing, flickering lines of flame over his body. If he opened his eyes, he’d see Austin kneeling by the wall, watching him, his expression serene. Austin’s body was still marked from his recent shibari session, though the intricate patterns were fading. That didn’t matter if the peace and joy in Austin’s eyes was still there.

  “Jay? Are you ready?”

  Liam’s deep, calm voice was part of the tranquility that filled the room, loving but inflexible. They might be on vacation, but Jay had earned a spanking only that morning, delivered in their room before breakfast, Liam’s hand beating out a brisk reminder that he didn’t appreciate being woken by Jay singing in the shower.

  “Tomorrow make it a blowjob,” he’d said with a grin when it was over and Jay was rubbing his smarting ass and holding back a matching smile, because damn, did he love it when Liam did something out of the blue like that. “I can guarantee it’ll get a better reception than that caterwauling.”

  Now Jay answered with the same “Yes, Sir” he had then. He was so ready, and he knew Liam was too. More importantly, he realized now that Liam having learned from someone experienced with fire play was going to make the session a hundred times better.

  Jessica, the Domme who’d let Austin and Jay observe and Liam participate in her scene the night before, was sitting comfortably in a chair nearby. She hadn’t said a word since she’d entered the room, just brought the things they’d need as arranged. She seemed the least likely Domme in the world, Jay thought, with her neatly braided blonde hair and her narrow, framed glasses—she looked like a librarian or a girl who’d gotten a free ride to Harvard because her IQ was off the charts. It wasn’t until she started moving that he could see it, that difficult-to-define sense of confidence, the knowledge that she was in charge.

  He twitched when Liam’s hand suddenly touched his shoulder, but relaxed when that hand moved slowly down over his spine and ass, then to the ticklish back of his knee. “Remember to breathe,” Liam said.

  “Yes, Sir.” On a different night Jay might have come back to that with a hint of rudeness, just to see if he could get an extra spanking out of Liam, but not tonight. Tonight he was ready to let go completely, and that was making him more mellow and at peace than he could remember having felt in a long time.

  “Good.” Liam was quiet for a few seconds, moving around. Jay closed his eyes as he waited.

  The first sear of flame across his back was sudden and glorious; he didn’t try to hold back the cry that escaped him, which was more relief than pain. God, he’d wanted this for so long, and here it was, with Liam, the man he adored and worshipped both literally and figuratively.

  The sensations built, slowly at times, as Liam left long pauses for Jay to wait through. He felt the heat dissipate without ever losing track of where it had been. He loved it when the flames raced over him from more than one point of origin, leaving the back of his body tingling, but he didn’t get that every time.

  It was Liam’s choice, all of it. He was the ringmaster, the conductor, the teacher patiently leading Jay through this experience, and Jay surrendered to him as he’d been taught to do, each time finding it easier, each time getting more out of it.

  After streaking his skin with the flammable liquid and setting it alight, Liam moved on to using a lit baton, exchanging a few quiet words with Jessica that Jay didn’t even try to hear. He trusted them both.

  The lit baton struck his back, the light blow followed by the instantaneous flare of heat, Liam finding a rhythm Jay’s heartbeat matched, so his body felt like a struck drum, the echoes rolling through him, pounding in his ears.

  He wasn’t making a sound, too caught up in sensation to need to vocalize what he felt, but when Liam said softly, “Enough,” he heard himself sob, not a protest, not that, not even regret, because they’d do this again, but simply a release of everything he felt in that moment.

  Austin came over to him at a signal from Liam, and Jessica left the room, closing the door behind her.

  Liam began to wipe Jay’s back down, the damp towel soothing his skin. He didn’t ask how Jay was feeling, for which Jay was grateful. Later he’d tell them how it’d felt, picturing those pale flames on him, visible for a second or two before disappearing, leaving behind their heat. Now he just wanted to lie still, Austin stroking his hair, smiling at him, Liam taking care of him with loving efficiency.

 
; “Take as much time as you need,” Liam said gently, smoothing lotion over Jay’s back, the shock of the cool liquid like a last flash of sensation from the scene. “There’s no hurry—the room is ours for as long as we want it.”

  The words were more like air blowing past Jay than actual conversation. He understood them, but he was floating and not at all interested in coming back down. Maybe if he didn’t say anything, he could just stay where he was forever.

  Austin tenderly held his hand, bending to kiss Jay’s fingers and knuckles. They both seemed to get that he was okay and just didn’t want to talk. Liam moved around the room quietly, probably putting things away, going into the adjoining bathroom and running water there, then coming back again and unfolding a blanket that had been draped over a chair.

  “Is he cold?” Liam asked Austin, and Austin touched Jay’s arm and then cheek.

  “Maybe a little,” Austin said.

  Liam put the blanket over Jay, who murmured appreciatively. He hadn’t realized he was cold, but maybe he had been, because the blanket’s warmth was welcome now that the fire had faded from his skin. Slowly Jay shifted onto his side and sat up, glad when Austin moved to sit next to him so he had someone solid to lean on. He was so out of it he felt like his head wasn’t attached to his body.

  Eventually, a little more grounded, he said, “Can we go back to our room now?”

  “Of course,” Liam said. “Here, walk between us.”

  Their room was on the second floor of the building. This one, the playroom they’d been using, was in the basement, and Jay wondered how the hell they were going to get up all those stairs. “Wait,” he said as they went along a different hallway. “Where are we—”

  “There’s an elevator,” Austin said.

  “I love this place.” Jay shuffled along happily and clung to Austin in the elevator as it went up to their floor.

  Their room was comfortable but plain, clean lines everywhere, neutral colors and thick, heavy drapes making for a restful haven. The king-size bed dominated the space, and there was no attempt made to hide the fact that the room could be used for a scene as well as to sleep in. Anchor points were set into the walls here and there, and there was a heavy-duty hook in the ceiling over the bed. A bed with a ring set into the base, for a sub to be chained to, though Liam had only used it for short periods of the stay. Kneeling, gagged, a collar around his neck, the weight of a chain pulling at it, and watching Liam read e-mail on his laptop as he sipped coffee had been a surreal experience. Austin had loved it, his cock hard the whole time, his breathing slow and regular. He’d licked Liam’s hand when his gag was removed, his eyes downcast. Jay had never wanted to kiss Austin more.