Impatient, Tavish said, “My parents are waiting.” He tugged her along for a few steps, as Jenny looked back. They had spoken of everyone except Duncan. Tavish stopped. Jenny nearly bumped into him. The next moment, he was talking with someone else. Now distracted, he released Jenny’s hand.
Jenny took a discreet step toward Alex. “What has happened to Duncan?”
“Calm yourself, lass.” He eyed Tavish warily.
With Tavish beside her, Jenny could not explain herself. Alex would not know of her love for Duncan. She and Duncan had hidden their feelings from their friends, for fear the inevitable teasing might ruin what they shared. But as their love deepened and they knew they would marry someday. Jenny had confided in her mother. That had been a mistake. When her father heard of it, he made it clear that nothing would come of it. It was a childhood fancy that would pass. From then on, she and Duncan kept their love secret from everyone.
Alex cast a level gaze at her frantic eyes and quietly said, “Nothing has happened. He is well.” His eyes flickered toward Tavish, still talking.
Jenny exhaled and clung to what was left of her composure.
Alex said, “He took a job on a merchant ship.”
“He dinnae come home with you?”
“No.”
“How long will he be gone?”
Alex leveled a frank look. “I dinnae think that he’s very eager to come home just yet.”
Before Jenny could respond, Alex’s sister flew into his arms. His brothers and parents surrounded him, while Tavish led her away toward his parents.
*
The next morning, Tavish was gone, but he promised to return in a week to see Jenny. He did, and he returned every week for a month. Talk of the wedding was relentless. When would Duncan come home? The wedding was one month away.
She escaped to the woods and the shelter of the yew tree where she and Duncan had spent their last evening together. Over the past year, she had often come here to feel closer to Duncan. Here she could think of him, free of the lie of her betrothal to Tavish. For a year, she had thought about how it would end. Jenny leaned back and gazed up at the sheltering branches, and then shut her eyes to daydream. She had to believe that Duncan would return to her. With one look, he would know that her love had not changed. She would tell him the truth, and he would understand. Before her father could evict her parents, they would all run away, and life would be as they always had hoped.
Jenny walked out of the woods. A mist hovered over the ground, with scattered clear patches drifting on the crisp autumn breeze.
“Jenny?” He came out of the haze.
“Tavish.”
“One of the farmers’ lads thought they saw you heading this way.” He grinned. “I’ve decided to stay one more day.”
In her dismay, Jenny failed to watch where she was going and stumbled on a tree root. Tavish took hold of her arm to steady her, and left his hand there as they walked through the mist.
The path led past Duncan’s cottage. She did not expect to see him come around the corner of the byre and stop. Why had no one told her he was home? His deep-set eyes locked on hers. Jenny opened her mouth as if to speak, even though they were too far away to do so. Duncan’s eyes darted to Tavish and his arm on Jenny’s arm. His dark, troubled eyes held her transfixed. Duncan turned from her abruptly and went into the byre. He was gone, and still she could not take her eyes from the spot where she had first seen him.
“Jenny?” Tavish stared.
Distracted, she looked up at him.
“Stop staring. You disgrace yourself and make me look a fool.” With a tug, he led her on down the path.
She forced her attention toward home, but her heart and her thoughts were with Duncan.
Chapter 4
Duncan surveyed the field he had left to his father’s care. The tacksman, Jenny’s father, had already come calling to ask for the overdue rent. Duncan’s father was gone, as he was most days, leaving Duncan and his mother to run the farm and answer for the unpaid rent. His mother would not cry in front of Duncan, so he left her that morning with a cup of tea and a kiss on the forehead, and then went outside to work out his anger. The untended field contained little that was fit to harvest, other than a patch of vegetables his mother had planted and tended, so he went to the byre to put things in order. It appeared as though no one had touched it since he had left for the lowlands. Anyone else might have cursed, but Duncan had expected little more of his father. He clenched his teeth and put his mind and his muscles to cleaning the mess. In the midst of mucking out the stables, he heard Jenny say his name softly from inside the doorway.
Duncan was not one to reveal his feelings. Perhaps he had learned by example. His father hid feelings inside a bottle, while his mother concealed hers with stoic perseverance. One would think nothing fazed her, but that would be wrong. She had passed on her pride and her dogged restraint to her son. Duncan hid what he felt were weak shows of emotion with steely control, which was now being tested. Just the sound of Jenny’s voice pierced the thin shield he had hewn to prepare for this moment. It was not pride that kept him from turning to face her. It was his heart, which he could not rein in. He would not let her see him like this. Yet, as much as she had hurt him, his heart would not give up. It would seek out the pain that would crush it. And so, with tenuous control, he convinced himself that it was better to face her now, in this place, than in public. He filled one more shovel and heaved it to the barrow, before turning to face her.
Turning was one thing. Even meeting her eyes was within the bounds of courtesy, but to fix his eyes on hers was wholly unwise. There was no helping it. Love pulled him to her and overpowered months of bitterness that should have protected him by now.
“Jenny.” His polite manner put distance between them. He saw that it stung, and he took some pleasure in it.
“How are you?” Jenny asked meekly.
With that, his pain soured. Duncan let out a bitter laugh, which threw Jenny off guard. With forced cheer, he leaned on his shovel, eyes gleaming with rancor. “I’m fine, Jenny. Thank you for asking. And you?”
She was visibly hurt.
“How are you, Jenny? And how are the wedding plans coming?” Without waiting for her answer he turned away and propped the shovel against the wall. There he took a moment to stare at the stone wall and seethe.
When the silence grew too much for her, Jenny said his name softly.
“Why have you come here?” He turned to face her.
“I’m sorry that you had to find out from somebody else.”
“Tavish.”
“Sorry?”
“I found out from Tavish.”
“Och, Duncan. I’m sorry. He dinnae know about us.”
“Of course he dinnae know. No one did. That’s what made it so easy for you.”
“Nothing’s been easy for me.”
A dark look clouded his eyes, but he tamped down his feelings and shrugged. “You’ve made a good match. A laird’s son. You’ve come up in the world.” Duncan cast a disparaging glance about his own byre. “Although, I’ll admit I was surprised when they told me. I never knew that was what you wanted. I thought–” Duncan stopped and seemed almost to smile to himself. “Well, it doesn’t matter what I thought.” His face drained of expression, until all that remained was a stony stare. “Good luck to you, Jenny.”
“Duncan, I–”
Before she could go on, Duncan turned away and resumed working. “Goodbye, Jenny,” he said, as scooped with his shovel and filled up the barrow.
*
Alex and Duncan went down to Loch Oich to fish for some salmon for supper. Duncan cursed as one got away.
Alex kept his gaze on the lake. “You’re in a right foul mood.”
“Aye.”
They stood quietly fishing. Alex glanced over at Duncan. “I have not seen you like this since Edinburgh. It isnae Mari still, is it?”
“Mari? No.” Duncan stared at the water. “I wonder i
f it ever really was Mari.”
Alex watched the water and waited.
“At the time, I was trying to forget someone else.”
The thought settled in silence between them for a moment, and then Alex asked, “Have you seen Jenny yet?”
“Jenny?” The mere mention of her caught Duncan off guard.
Alex’s expression was too knowing to ignore, and yet Duncan tried. “I have.” Even as he said it, his indifference faded.
Alex would not be deterred. “There was a time when we all thought there was something between you and Jenny.”
Duncan took in a breath to protest, but exhaled with a rueful nod.
Alex asked, “How could we not?”
“We were friends, she and I.”
“Friends?” Alex looked doubtful.
Duncan gazed at the lake. “Aye, friends.”
“Friends who fell in love,” Alex said, completing the thought.
“Well, I did, anyway. All she did was promise to marry me.”
Alex cast a sharp look of concern. “We never knew that. We would see you steal glances at each other, but... marriage...” Alex slowly shook his head.
“We were handfasted. On the night before we all left, we promised to love one another forever, and I meant it. We were going to have a kirk wedding when I came home. And the next week, along comes Tavish MacLean strutting about camp and boasting to all who would listen–including me, to my misfortune–that they were betrothed.” Duncan swallowed his pain. “She gave her body to me, except for her hand. That she gave to Tavish MacLean.”
Alex said, “I dinnae understand. Why would she do it?”
“Well, I am braw and handsome.” Duncan let out a laugh that soon faded. “But I am not the son of a laird.” Duncan thought of whose son he was.
“She cannae love him,” said Alex.
“What does it matter? I cannae have her.” He looked at Alex. “It’s taken me over a year to come up with that brilliant conclusion.”
With a sympathetic smile, Alex said, “Aye, well you are a powerful thinker.”
Duncan laughed, in spite of himself. “Not long after that, I met Callum’s Mari. I saw what they had. It was what I had lost. And I was lonely for it. I saw Mari with Callum, and I fell in love with the way that she loved him. She was devoted to him, and still is.”
“Unlike Jenny,” Alex said quietly.
“Just so.” Duncan gazed at the lake and exhaled. “We will starve at this rate.”
“It’s too early for salmon,” said Alex.
With a wry look, Duncan said, “I believe I said just that on our way down here.”
“But did you not miss the fishing here while we were gone?” Alex grinned.
“This isnae fishing. It’s standing in water.”
Alex laughed. “Well, perhaps we could pack up and go have a dram.”
Without hesitation, Duncan turned and waded back to the shore, calling behind him, “You have renewed my faith in your wisdom.”
*
Jenny walked with her mother to the village to shop in the mercat square. Her father had already left very early to look at some cattle and hogs. Vendors were selling their wares from pushcarts. People bartered and chattered, and all was a clamor of color and movement. Once one of her favorite pastimes, she now found herself walking with no more purpose than to listen and respond to her mother when needed.
From moment to moment, she hoped to see Duncan. He would not want to see her, but if she could just gaze at him unnoticed, her heart might not ache so. She longed for a glimpse of the masculine grace of his walk, his dark hair and deep eyes that always seemed remote unless they regarded her. She used to watch him when he was not aware, and she would wonder if anyone would ever get close to his heart. He had always been standoffish, but not out of arrogance. Behind his aloof manner he was caring and kind. Few people knew him well, but those who did found little fault. Acquaintances respected his character. Foes in battle faced his fearsome skill with a sword, but Jenny knew his heart and his passion. She knew also what he must think of her. Part of her hoped, in some way, he might hold onto his faith in her and discern her dilemma. But how could he? Short of reading her mind, there was nothing left for him to think, but that she had cast him aside in favor of Tavish. Tavish had social standing, which Duncan did not. Still, she wanted to believe that he knew her better than to think this would sway her. Her heart sank. How it must have hurt Duncan to come home to the burden of his family’s debt. That weight, alone, was enough. But to lose Jenny to Tavish must have hurt deeply. For that, Jenny had no cure. She had already come too close to telling the truth. She had never stopped loving him, nor would she. She had done what was best for his parents. She had to be strong and not tell him until she found a way to convince her father to call off the wedding.
*
Jenny’s mother chatted with a baker while he wrapped up some tarts.
While they talked, Jenny planned her escape. One of them would have to take a breath soon. “Mum, my head is aching. Would you mind if I walked home?”
“There were a few more things I was hoping to get, but I suppose they could wait.” Her mother’s eyebrows creased as she stared off to the distance and thought.
“You stay,” Jenny insisted. “I’ll walk home. ‘Tis not far, and I think a walk may help.”
Rowena smiled gently and touched her daughter’s forehead and cheek. “Alright. But lie down when you get home. I willnae be long here.”
Jenny passed by Duncan’s mother and her friend Nellie, who were waiting for a draper to measure out four ells of cloth. Jenny greeted them warmly and continued toward home. Duncan joined them, leading his horse as he walked through the mercat.
Nellie gave him a hug. “I’ve not spent more than a few minutes with you since I left for home from the fighting. You must come by for a visit. I’ve missed you, lad.”
Duncan smiled. “I’ve missed you, too, Nellie.” He turned to his mother. “While we were in the lowlands, Nellie made us feel as though we were home.”
Nellie’s eyes misted up. “I wish I had stayed a bit longer.” With a sigh, she said, “Ah, well. If wishes were horses, poor men would ride.” Nellie squeezed Duncan’s arm. “Look at me–and on such a fine day.” She glanced up with false cheer. “Och, I spoke too soon. Do you see those clouds? I’d best be on my way home.”
Duncan’s mother asked him to pack a few of her heavier items on his horse. “Nellie, can we carry something for you?”
“I’ve already given Charlie the bulk of it. But you could do one thing for me, Elspeth.”
“Aye?”
Nellie nodded. “Stop for a cup of tea on your way home.”
“There is nothing I would enjoy more.” Elspeth smiled warmly.
Lightening flashed, followed in an instant by thunder and the crack of a tree as it fell.
Both flinched. Nellie said, “Did we not see Jenny walking that way?”
Duncan looked toward the tree, where Jenny must be.
Elspeth studied him for a moment. In a quiet voice, she said, “Duncan, we’re closer to her than anyone else, and you’ve got your horse.”
He started to shake his head, but she urged him. “Go to her.”
*
Relieved to be alone with her thoughts, Jenny reached the outskirts of the village. Her heart was with Duncan, and hiding that fact was a burden. A mile from her house, thick clouds rolled in to darken the sky. She quickened her pace as a few drops of rain fell. Wild gusts whipped her arisaid about as she held it close to her chin. Lighting flashed. Thunder bellowed. With a deafening crack, a tree split down the middle and started to fall. Jenny ran, but her foot caught a deep rut in the road and she fell. The tree barely missed her as it landed across the road. By now, rain was pelting her, drowning the sound of the hoof beats. She struggled to stand as her ankle buckled beneath her. Rivulets of water streamed about her feet as she gripped limbs of the fallen tree for support.
“Jenny!”
She glanced up to see Duncan on horseback. “Are you hurt?”
“Och, it’s my ankle. I twisted it when I fell.”
“I’ll take you home.”
“Dinnae worry about me.”
Ignoring her protest, he leapt down and lifted her onto his horse, then mounted behind her.
The storm was as violent as it was sudden. Jenny gripped the edge of the saddle, but there was no need. Duncan circled her waist and held her securely against him as they rode through pelting rain for the last mile to her house.
Held against his strong shoulders and chest, she felt safe and sure. She had missed his warmth and his touch. She could almost forget what had torn them apart–enough so, that she let herself imagine how it might be to flee with him now. What if they ran away? She could tell him the truth. There was nothing to stop them. But that was not true. If they ran away, her father would evict Duncan’s parents. With no home and no place to go, his parents’ lives would be ruined. If she were lucky, she might find work in Glasgow or Edinburgh, never seeing daylight as she worked from dawn until well after dark. Duncan’s father would try, but he would be as he always had been, a dreamer who would never find his way past a drink or the next chance to gamble. Duncan’s mother would never complain, but the burden would fall on her, and the weight would wear her down, if not crush her. That would be the price for Jenny’s happiness, and it was too great. She could never tell Duncan. He would not let her go. He would insist upon shouldering the burden for them all, but he was in no position to do so. Her father would turn them all out. With no home and no means of support, even if she and Duncan could manage, it would be too hard on his parents. In time, Duncan would grow to resent her, for she would have been the cause of their hardship. Without her, their lives would go on undisturbed. Every time she tried to find a way out of the trap she was in, she wound up back here in its snare, her heart breaking. The best thing for Duncan and his family would be to go on with their lives without her.
Highland Soldiers: The Betrayal Page 3
