Highland Soldiers: The Betrayal

by Jarvis, J. L.

  “Is there? And what should I have done with you gone–set off on my own to search for you somewhere in the lowlands? And if I found you, what then?”

  Softly, he said, “Then I would have married you.”

  “Och, Duncan, if you could know how I’ve dreamt of just that, but my father said–”

  “I dinnae care what he said!” He pounded his fist on a plank of the stall, and it cracked. Duncan cursed and walked to the door and stared into the gloaming. “What does it matter?” He turned, eyes burning. “You’d rather lose me than stand up to him.”

  “No, that’s not true.” She took a step toward him, but he bristled. She stayed an arm’s distance away.

  Duncan ran his fingers through his hair. “This was a mistake.”

  Jenny took a sharp breath and stepped toward him. “No, dinnae say that.”

  “Stay away.”

  When she gingerly slipped her arm into his, he removed it and turned to her, gripping her shoulders. With a glance toward the stall, he said, “I wish that had never happened.”

  “No.” It was a small, mournful sound.

  “Don’t you see? Nothing’s changed.”

  “Not our love. That has never changed.”

  Duncan’s eyes flared. “What of it? What do you want from me, Jenny?”

  “I want you. I want us.”

  “We’ve lost us. You threw us away.”

  “Duncan, please.” She reached out.

  He took hold of her wrist with a warrior’s grip.

  Jenny tried to twist her hand loose. “My father told me I must, or–”

  “And you are an obedient child,” Duncan said with disdain. “You’re too weak to honor our promise. No, Jenny. As long as you are betrothed, I’ll not see you.”

  “You can’t mean that.” She searched his eyes, but found no love there.

  “Dinnae touch me again.” He released her with a force that threw her off balance. She staggered back a few steps to regain it. Raw pain broke through his words. “You think you can marry him and live in your grand house, then come back to me now and then when you’re lonely?”

  “No! I want what we had.”

  Duncan’s wrath flared. “This is not what we had. We’re two people clutching at mist.”

  “No, we’re more than that.”

  “‘Tis not enough.”

  “Duncan, I love you.”

  “Your love is like you. It is weak and of no use to me.”

  Jenny could not react.

  “Go home to your father and lie in the bed he has told you to make for yourself.”

  He left her in the byre, while the sound of his long strides echoed in her ears.

  Chapter 7

  Jenny sat in the kirk the next morning, eyes dry and swollen. She had cried herself to exhaustion. Rather than finding her way back to Duncan, she had driven him further away. If it was weakness that drove her once more to his arms, she did not regret it. It would be her last memory of him, to remind her that once he had loved her. She wondered now, even if he had given her chance to tell him the truth, would it have made any difference? Even as his rage left no room for forgiveness, Jenny’s love was as boundless as the sorrow it brought her. What a great price to pay, only to wind up apart.

  Here she was in the kirk. On one side was her family, on the other, Tavish and his parents–all happy, but Jenny. They had what they wanted.

  The priest smiled at her as he called the banns for the first of three times before the wedding would take place. “If any of you know cause or just impediment why these persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, ye are to declare it. This is for the first time of asking.”

  “Say something, Duncan,” wished Jenny. She only looked back at him once. Dark eyes pierced her, but she could not react. All eyes were on her.

  The priest finished, and the room seemed to sway like the deck of a ship. She was hot, and the air was too close.

  Jenny turned to her parents. Her father may as well have been stone, for his eyes were as hard. She turned the other way to find Tavish peering at her with concern. Jenny put her hand to her temple in a failed effort to avoid his scrutiny.

  When Mass ended, Tavish seemed to talk with everyone present. Jenny could not breathe. The damp stones in the walls seemed to thicken the air until panic rose within her. When Tavish turned to greet someone new, Jenny slipped away and rushed outside, where she came face-to-face with Duncan.

  The heavy kirk doors opened. They glanced over to see people filtering outside. Duncan turned to leave, but Jenny reached out and put her hand on his forearm to stop him. “I did it for you. I had to–for your parents.”

  “What are you saying?”

  She was making no sense, and she knew it. She had spoken on impulse. “I cannae do this.”

  Tavish emerged from the church and spied Jenny just as she withdrew her hand from Duncan’s arm. Someone stopped Tavish to talk, but he kept a sharp eye on Jenny. There was so little time.

  “Duncan, I cannae talk now. I wanted to tell you the truth last evening, but...” His eyes darkened at the memory. For the first time, his gaze settled on hers. Only hours before, they had been one in body and spirit. Their eyes locked until Tavish’s voice carried to them.

  Jenny glanced toward Tavish and then lowered her eyes and her voice. “I owe you the truth. Please meet me later.”

  “Dinnae play games with me, Jenny. I’m in no mood.”

  “Please, Duncan.”

  Duncan walked away just as Tavish strode over to clasp Jenny’s hand. It was an act of possession, but the gesture was wasted on Duncan. He had already turned his back and joined his mother to escort her home, and he did not look back.

  *

  After dinner, Jenny complained of a headache and retreated to her room, leaving Tavish to play chess with her father. Minutes later, the cook glanced up to see Jenny at the foot of the stairs. She held a finger up to her lips. With a sharp eye toward the inside hall door, the cook shook her head, but turned away to continue her chores in tacit approval as Jenny slipped out through the back door.

  When she was safely out of view, she began to have doubts. Was she letting desire outweigh her reason? She certainly had when she threw herself at him the day before. There was no other way to describe it. But for all it had cost her, that moment in his arms was worth the world to her. Pressed against his strong chest, she had breathed in his scent, and melted into his embrace. When he held her, she felt close to the place in his soul where no one else could be. In that moment, they had not forgotten their wounds, but their need for each other was greater.

  The price for that moment was to be pierced by the words she would never forget.

  “Your love is like you. It is weak and of no use to me.”

  *

  A thick mist rolled in and brought with it the scent of fresh rain. As Duncan rode down the path toward the woods, a dark form crossed before him in the mist. He reined in his horse just in time to avoid her. He quickly dismounted and grabbed hold of Jenny’s shoulders. “Did you nae hear me coming?”

  “I thought you saw me.”

  “Are you daft? Look about you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Never mind, lass. ‘Tis my fault. I was riding too fast.”

  “I wasnae sure if you’d come,” Jenny said as they walked into the woods.

  “Nor was I,” he said grimly as he tethered his horse to a sturdy branch. “Out with it, lass. What would you tell me?”

  “It’s about your parents.”

  Duncan shot a sharp questioning look at her.

  Jenny met his eyes squarely. “After you left for the fighting, Tavish and his parents came visiting.”

  “Aye, he came later. I only remember because, when he caught up to us, he was boasting about his betrothal. We were all congratulating him. Then he said it was you, and I wanted to shove his words back down his throat and his face with it.”

  His eyes narrowed with fresh anger
as he recalled it. Jenny put a gentle hand to his shoulder, but he shrugged it off so violently that she took a step back.

  Duncan tamped down his emotions.

  “I refused,” Jenny said.

  “Well you did a poor job of it.” He looked over his shoulder.

  “I said no to my father. Do you know how hard that was for me?”

  “I know that you’re scared of him. You have been since you were a wee girl. But God’s wounds, Jenny, you’re a woman full grown. And you’d already promised yourself to me.”

  “I know, but–”

  “No, Jenny! We both made a promise! And one of us kept it.” He turned away, keeping his anger in check. After a long pause, his breathing grew steady and calm.

  Jenny said, “My father said he would evict your parents.”

  Duncan whipped about to face her. It could not be true.

  She went on. “If I dinnae agree to wed Tavish, he would have evicted them.”

  “He could not have. Everyone would have despised him.”

  “But he would have done, just the same.”

  “So you agreed to the marriage–”

  “For you. And for your parents.”

  Jenny’s words gripped his heart. “But why was he so keen on Tavish for you that he’d do such a thing?”

  “Such things are done all the time.”

  “And he forced you to keep silent.” Duncan thought of the pain she had suffered for more than a year. Jenny had done it for him. In return he had scorned her. All the while, she had carried this secret.

  Duncan thought back on his last night before leaving. “Tavish stood beside you on our last night together.”

  “But I was with you.”

  Duncan said, “Before that. It is why I missed my footing and touched the sword during the dance. I was watching the two of you.”

  Jenny said, “I’d forgotten. He said he had something to tell me, but insisted that we be alone. I told him I was watching the dancing, so he said he’d wait. I slipped away to meet you.”

  “So he stayed a day later to do it, did he not? But by then, you were promised to me.”

  “You should have stood up to your father and told him.”

  “I told him about us and that we were promised. But he said that there were no witnesses, so there was no proof.”

  “Just a vow before God.” Duncan’s gaze bore through her.

  “I tried to argue with him, but he would not be moved. You were not there to help your parents, and Tavish was leaving.”

  “So you were promised to two men, and both of us gone.”

  Duncan took Jenny’s hand in his hands. “Our vow should not have been broken.”

  “I was never going to marry Tavish. You know I could not. So I did what would keep your parents safe in their home. I thought that when you came home, we would sort it all out.”

  “Sort it out? You were mine. I was yours. A handfast is as good as a marriage.”

  “For a year and a day.”

  Duncan looked as though the wind had been knocked out of him.

  Jenny put words to Duncan’s reaction. In a soft voice, she said, “You were gone longer.”

  “Hearts do not know the law.”

  “Nor can they fight against it.” Jenny drew closer to Duncan.

  He reached out his hand to stop her, but the touch of her hand on her shoulder softened his hardened expression. He let himself gaze at her. “For more than a year I believed that you wanted to wed that rogue.”

  “What else could I do? Send a letter with Tavish?”

  Duncan shook his head. She was right.

  Jenny said, “There was nothing I could do but wait until you returned.”

  “And what if I had not come home?”

  Jenny lifted soft blue eyes to meet his. “Then I would have lost my true love.” She touched his face tenderly. “And your parents would still have had a home.”

  “But when I came home, you did nothing. Why did you not tell me?”

  “I was going to, but then I heard how far behind you were with the rent.”

  Duncan fought back his resentment. “My da took the money I’d saved, and he lost it all gambling.”

  “You needed some time before being forced to move out.”

  “Could you nae have told me the truth while I saved up the money?”

  “And what would you have done–come to steal me away?”

  “Aye, it sounds like a very good plan.” Duncan fought a smile.

  “Do you know how I’ve wished for just that? But it would not have helped you. Not then.” Her soft gaze found his dark eyes and the regret that was etched there. After more than a year, Jenny had thought through it all. She had done what was best for his family, but at what cost to them both?

  “My darlin’.” Duncan held Jenny close. “I’d have gone to your father to plead for your hand.”

  “I know.”

  Overcome with anger toward Tavish, Jenny’s father, his own, and most of all, himself, Duncan stared at the castle. He had let Jenny down, forced her to carry a burden that he should have born, but could not.

  “We must end it now. I must go to your father and ask for your hand.”

  “He will say no, and you know it.”

  “But I owe him that much. It’s a matter of honor.” Duncan grinned. “Stealing his daughter is not, but I’m willing to let go of that bit of honor, just once.”

  “Duncan, I’ve seen his ledger. Your rent is over a year past due. How can you support us all now?”

  He clenched his jaw. “Thanks to my father, not as well as before. But I’ve found a new source of income.”

  “Have you taken to highway robbery now?”

  “No, but I’ve found my father’s whisky. It brings a good price in the cities. But I’ll need a few more trips to sell it all.”

  With a deep, hopeless sigh, Duncan said, “In the meantime, you’re still yoked to Tavish.” His eyes darkened.

  “I will wait until you are ready,” she said.

  “You cannae wait for long. They’re already calling the banns.”

  “You’ll not let me marry him, will you?”

  With a warm smile, Duncan said, “No, I promise you that.” For months, he had hidden his feelings behind dark, stormy eyes. With a guttural sigh, he pulled her to his chest. “You’re my Jenny, and I’ll not let him have you.”

  Jenny said, “You fair broke my heart every time I saw the betrayal in your eyes.”

  He took held her gentle face in his battle-scarred hands. “And what do you see now?”

  “I see how you once looked at me.”

  “How I loved you?”

  “And how you let me love you.”

  He leaned down and kissed her. The full lips she had longed for were hers. She was in his embrace. His body against hers was home. Together at last, they found peace from the yearning that had haunted them for so long.

  Duncan lifted and carried her to the base of the tree, where he set her down gently on a blanket of leaves. There he slowly undressed her. He touched her with his hands and his lips, and his fingers stroked the soft places he had once tried to forget. Her sighs in his ears fueled the need to be part of her. Jenny wanted him, too. Her hands sought him through the thick woolen trews to the point of near torture. With fevered impatience, he freed himself of them, kicking them free of his ankles as he lowered himself to her. He could not let her know how helpless he was in her arms. At the same time, he felt fiercely protective. Jenny MacRuer was his for as long as she would have him, and no other man would get near enough to hurt the woman he loved. And Duncan was hers, as he always had been. Woe to any who dared try to part them again.

  *

  Dusk settled about them as Duncan lay beside Jenny and watched as she sighed, eyes closed and content. A gentle smile formed on his lips as he stroked away soft strands of hair from her brow. She tilted her head until her lips found his.

  “We will have to leave soon,” she said, laying
her cheek on his shoulder.

  “Aye, and I will let you go–for today.”

  “And tomorrow?” asked Jenny.

  “I will find a way. I cannot live without you.”

  “What if there is no way?”

  “You are mine, and I am yours. I will not let you go.”

  Chapter 8

  It was nearly dark when Jenny crept inside through the kitchen door. “Where have you been?” said her father in a stern, but hushed voice.

  Jenny flinched. “Walking.”

  His eyes narrowed. “Walking? So your headache is better.”

  Jenny had nearly forgotten. “My headache? Oh yes, the fresh air–”

  “Come with me.” They would not talk in the kitchen, where the household staff might overhear. With a firm grip on her elbow, Andrew led his daughter to his study. As soon as he closed the door behind him, Andrew’s face reddened. “Dinnae lie to me, lass, for I know where you’ve been and with whom!”

  Jenny flinched. Even fiercer than his words was the condemnation. As Jenny took in a breath, bracing herself to deny it, Tavish rose from a chair in the corner. She had not noticed him there, as had no doubt been his intention. Jenny turned to her father, but found no quarter there. She exhaled and cast her eyes downward. “I’ve done nothing wrong.”

  Andrew yelled, “Dinnae lower yourself even more by denying it!”

  Her cheeks flushed as her father proceeded.

  “You were seen with that cotter.”

  Jenny lifted her chin, wanting to seem bold, but soon withered. She hated herself for it.

  Tavish rescued her from the tense silence. “Sir, might I speak with your daughter alone?”

  Andrew MacRuer cast a questioning look at Tavish, who appeared the most calm of the three. As the wronged party, he clearly had the advantage, which he now gently pressed. He was all grace and forgiveness, which Jenny found hard to believe. With a gruff nod, her father retreated, closing the door firmly behind him. Tavish offered his arm. “Will you come to the window, Jenny? Look at the sunset. It’s very pretty.” Tavish laid his hand upon hers, still linked in his arm. He gazed down at their hands as he stroked hers. “When I look to the sky in the evening, I expect some show of beauty. It does not disappoint.”