Ice: Part I

by Penny Hawking

  Startled, Cheryl who was ascending the stairs looked back down at her son. “Peyton?”

  He turned around and kicked the door. He punched it ignoring the pain shooting his knuckles. He punched it again.

  “Stop it! Stop!” She rushed downstairs and grabbed him. She pulled his shaking son to her. His breathing felt harsh against her neck, his warm tears hitting her skin. “What happened? What just happened?” she whispered smoothing his hair.

  Peyton inhaled deeply and nodded. He let go of his mom and moved back. His back crashed against the door as he finally stared up at his mother. Eyes, dark grey and teary. “She fucking asked me about Maggie Forlin.” He croaked. He brought his hands to his face. “Fuck.” He whispered, shoulders dropping

  Cheryl eyes opened wide as she brought her hands to her chest. “Oh baby…”

  **

  “You’re late.” Melissa said pulling curtains back. “Don’t develop the nasty habit of oversleeping.”

  Ice groaned and turned around, bringing her covers to her face.

  “Iceria!” Melissa whispered sharply. Her heels clicked even on the carpeted floor and pulled the covers down. “Get up this instant. I will not tolerate this at all…between skipping school yesterday to not----” she stopped as Ice turned to face her. “Were you crying?” She whispered.

  Ice squeezed her eyes shut as her mom sat on her bed.

  Melissa’s caramel toned hand reached out and touched the side of Ice’s face. Eyes baggy, face blotchy. Her daughter was a horrible crier. “Oh, you poor thing.” Melissa looked her over and brought back up the covers.

  “I don’t want to go to school today.” Ice whispered burying her face in the sheets.

  Melissa smiled and gently stroked her hair. “Oh sweetheart, you know you don’t have to go to school.” She bent down and kissed Ice’s head. “Let mommy take care of you.” She patted her head and stood up. “I’ll bring you your breakfast, you just relax.”

  Ice sniffled and nodded.

  Melissa walked out the door proudly. Back straight with a gentle smile on her lips.

  **

  (Peyton)

  “Hey, hey,” Peyton jogged up to Joanna.

  Joanna turned in surprise and grinned. “Hey stud muffin.”

  Peyton held on tightly to this backpack strap. “Jo, have you seen Ice?” He whispered. “I haven’t seen her all day.”

  “Stalking her?” Joanna grinned lifting a perfectly arched eyebrow at him.

  “No…no, I uhm….she just hasn’t answered my texts.”

  “Oohhh trouble in paradise already?” She grimaced. She reached out and patted his shoulders. “She’s not in school today.”

  “Oh, okay.” He nodded sighing. “Thanks.” He turned and walked away when Joanna called out his name.

  “Peyton!”

  “Yeah?” He turned back.

  Joanna sighed and walked over to him. “Don’t fuck this up.” She whispered. “Seriously.”

  “I’m trying not to.” He replied. He shrugged and exhaled. “I’m trying not to.”

  Joanna looked him over and sighed in annoyance. “What happened?”

  Peyton looked behind him and past her shoulders before lowering his voice even more. “She uh….she found out something about me that….that…I wish she hadn’t.”

  Joanna took his arm and led him against a locker. “Look, I know you’re a fuckboy----”

  “Why does everybody say that?” Peyton asked exasperated. “I’m not!”

  Joanna grinned and brought up her hand to tick off. “Teresa Pearls, Barbie Walters, Shanice Johns, Karla---”

  “Okay, okay.” He said pushing her hand away to stop her from listing.

  “We’ve all known you two years. You’ve built yourself quiet a reputation.” Joanna stated. “Sweet, adorable, bad boy, but a reputation nonetheless.”

  Peyton sighed and leaned his back against the locker.

  “I was rooting for you and Ice because I wanted you to melt her a little bit.” Joanna grinned. “Wanted her to come out of that shell of hers and live a little ….” She stared at Peyton seriously. “But not to hurt her.”

  “I don’t want to hurt her.” He whispered. “I don’t.” His long eyelashes fluttered. “I’m in love with her.”

  Joanna chuckled and shook her head. “Now I see how you get all them girls.” She admitted. He really was a handsome guy. Unnervingly so, and his demeanor, his way of talking, his confidence just added that extra something special most guys lacked. Too bad she was head over hills for a stubborn football player, otherwise she knew Peyton would have been all types of fun.

  She grinned. But this wasn’t about her, this was about her girl Ice.

  “Look.” She sighed. She looked down the empty hallway. “Ice….” She looked up to the ceiling as if finding words to convey her thoughts. She looked back at Peyton. “Ice has secrets too.” She whispered.

  Peyton straightened up.

  “Deep ones, ones that she doesn’t share with anybody, not even Maddie and I.” Jo continued. “Once she blocks you out, she blocks you the fuck out.” Jo grinned. “She’s called the Ice queen for a reason. Gain her trust.” Jo whispered. “And above all be honest with her. Don’t fucking lie.”

  Peyton lowered his head.

  “Fuck…you lied.” Jo watched him. “Boys.” She shook her head. “Look----”

  “I’ve been waiting forever in the lunchroom!” Maddie groaned. “What are you two doing?”

  “Fucking.” Joanna replied rolling her eyes.

  Maddie rolled her eyes too and walked up to them. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” Peyton smiled at her.

  “What’s going on?” She asked looking for Peyton to Joanna and back again.

  Peyton shifted on his feet and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

  “Oh my god are you hitting on Peyton?” Maddie screeched at Jo.

  “What?!” Peyton and Jo screeched back simultaneously.

  “No.” Peyton shook his head.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Jo asked her best friend.

  Maddie huffed. “It was the summer of-----”

  “We were 13-years old!” Joanna screeched. “Are you fucking kidding….oh my God…I told you I was sorry. He kissed me!”

  “And I accepted your apology, but I also noticed you kissed him back.” Maddie crossed her arms.

  Peyton looked back and forth between the two friends with a confused grin.

  Joanna pointed a finger at Peyton. “This is about Peyton and Ice.” She said through clenched teeth. “They had a little fight.”

  Maddie bit down on her lip shamefully.

  “So instead of hatching up old shit that I fucking feel like a dumb ass bitch for, why don’t we help him get back on Ice’s good grace?” Joanna asked tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.

  “Sorry.” Maddie whispered.

  “I think…I think, I’m good.” Peyton put his hand up. “I got it….be honest…talk to her.”

  A tear fell down Joanna’s face. “I can’t fucking believe you.”

  “Yeah…I’m gonna go.” Peyton whispered slowly moving back.

  “I’m just saying you two looked suspicious.” Maddie countered. “And I wouldn’t put it past you.”

  “You are never going to let that go!” Joanna yelled at her. “Why? Why? You didn’t even like Rory like that!”

  “I did!”

  “No, you didn’t!”

  “I wanted to!” Maddie yelled back. “But of course, you always just swoop in and get whatever the fuck you want.”

  “You’re jealous.” Joanna whispered in disbelief.

  “I’m not jealous.” Maddie replied straightening up.

  “You’re my best friend and you’re fucking jealous of me!”

  “NO!” Maddie pushed her against the locker, her eyes welling up. “I’m your best friend and you’re fucking selfish as shit! You don’t care about anybody but yourself Joanna! I’m sorry I assumed the worst bu
t fuck you have a habit of being a shitty friend!” Maddie cried. “I thought I mattered to you at least. But it’s always you first. Always you, you, you. It doesn’t matter what anybody else says or thinks or what happens in their life! You walk around like you fucking made the heavens and earth. You keep the rest of us in the fucking back pocket like a fucking queen!”

  “Shut the fuck up! I care a whole fucking lot about you!” Joanna screamed back. “I fucking care, it’s just you’ve just been so fucking nosey lately! Always up in somebody’s fucking business!”

  “Maybe because I also want you to give a fuck about my business!” Maddie cried backing away. She tried to breathe as she looked around the empty hallway. “Fuck…” she whispered wiping her face frantically.

  Joanna stared at her in shock, wiping her own face. “Maddie.” She whispered grabbing her best friend’s arm.

  Maddie shook her head and pulled away from Joanna crying uncontrollably. “My mom has breast cancer.” She whispered crying into her hands. “And….nobody cares…”

  “Shit.” Joanna whispered wrapping her arms around Maddie tightly. “Shit you bitch. That’s what emergency friend meetings are for.” She hugged her friend and closed her eyes.

  **

  “I’ll be back home in time to prepare dinner.” Melissa kissed Ice’s forehead.

  Ice stared at the T.V. her blankets wrapped around her. Besides washing her face, brushing her teeth and her mom forcing her to fix her hair, she hadn’t done much else. She felt so low. It felt like the end of the world. It was.

  “If you need to stay home again tomorrow, that’s fine.” Melissa said picking up her keys.

  Ice heard her heels disappearing down the hallway. The door opened and closed, and she refocused her attention on the T.V. Peppa pig seemed to her like a brat.

  She sighed and looked back at her phone.

  -hey call me

  -look can we talk

  -im sorry

  -ice answer please

  -look, I love you okay. lets talk yeah?

  Ice sighed again. It was over before it even began.

  The doorbell surprised her, and she looked up. Her parents would never ring the bell, and she didn’t think they were expecting a package. She was usually at school at this time though. Groaning, Ice slipped into her fuzzy wool slippers and headed to the door. She was still in her smiley face pj tank tops and shorts, but she didn’t care.

  “Who is it?” she asked already opening the door. Their neighborhood was safe.

  “Hey.” Peyton offered a shy smile and a hand wave.

  She inhaled. Her eyes wide. Eyelids blinking rapidly. “What are you doing here?” she whispered.

  “You didn’t answer any of my texts.” He replied, stuffing his hands inside the pockets of his grey skinny.

  “That was intentional.” Ice responded, looking down.

  “I know.”

  They stared at each other for a minute.

  “Look you can’t be he---”

  “I parked my motorcycle in the back.” Peyton cut her off quickly. “I waited till your mom drove off to come up.”

  Ice held on to the door. He looked so beautiful standing before her. His hair in a messy bun, escaped tendrils framing his face. An all-black hoody and grey skinnys. He was actually a little on the skinny side, now that she looked at him. She lowered her eyes more aware of her pajamas. “I don’t want to talk-----”

  “I’m sorry I lied.” Peyton whispered desperately. “I’m sorry.”

  She lifted her eyes to him.

  “I just didn’t want you to think any less of me.” Peyton took a step forward. “I came here to be a better person. To start over.” He shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. “To leave all that shit behind.”

  Ice gripped the door.

  Peyton rubbed his arm nervously. “I’m a little fucked up.” He admitted. “But I was worse in California.” He looked down and clenched and unclenched his fist. His lips quivered and he shifted uncomfortably.

  “You don’t have to tell me anything.” Ice spoke up sincerely. Her voice was softer than she’d intended.

  “So, you can have a reason to leave me?” He asked lifting his head.

  Ice heaved. “I won’t tell you about me. I don’t have anything to say.”

  “Fine.” He nodded. “But do you want to grab some popcorn and listen to me?” The corner of his lips went up in a crooked smile.

  Ice didn’t answer right away. She stared at his chest, took in his nervousness, the shifting from foot to foot. The way he waited for her. She closed her eyes slowly and opened them before taking a step back and opening the front door wider. “My mom will be back soon. You can’t stay long.”

  **

  “Maggie Forlin was 16…you know pretty little redhead…tall…great body…big breasts…long legs…you know she was like a fucking model…and she was a fucking junior. Talk about a boost to an 8th graders ego.” Peyton said. He looked down at his hands and rubbed them nervously.

  “At first, I tried to ignore her you know, I wasn’t in the mood. My dad just---, I was a pretty mean person, I didn’t give a fuck about life, about her…but she was fucking persistent.” Peyton said laughing shallowly. He shrugged and ran his hands over Ice’s soft carpet. “So, I said fuck it, if she wanted me then hey, who was I to refuse right?”

  He turned to Ice sitting next to him on the floor by her bed.

  Ice nodded for him to continue.

  “ So, I got with her, she was a girl I could fuck that’s it. I wasn’t looking for a relationship; I didn’t want her to be my girlfriend. Hell, I was 13. What the fuck was I going to do with a girlfriend? I didn’t love her, half the time I didn’t even remember her name. I treated her like shit, but that’s because I felt like shit. I should have ended it because I knew I didn’t want to be with her. I mean besides the sex, which was shit cause I was 13, we didn’t have anything in common.”

  Peyton ran his fingers through his hair loosening his bun. “So, one day I manned up and told her we weren’t gonna see each other anymore, you know it was getting old, I wasn’t interested.” He rubbed his jeans nervously. “I thought that was it you know call it quits and dip…but she was one crazy bitch.” He said shaking his head.

  Ice tilted her head to him. “How?”

  “She called me all the time. She left these crazy voicemails. She stalked my house…she waited for me every day at my school to apologize and ask to get back together. She tried to babysit, Priya…I stopped that really quick. Then she tried to pull the, I’m pregnant bullshit.”

  “What if she was?” Ice asked.

  “She wasn’t believe me. She just didn’t want to leave me. She’s the kind of girl that liked money and attention. Being with me…gave her both.” Peyton answered disgusted. He turned around and surveyed her room. “I like your room.”

  Ice smiled and looked around too.

  “So, I’m the first boy to ever step foot inside huh?” He grinned mischievously.

  Ice chuckled. “Yeah.”

  He looked her over and automatically leaned in to kiss her. She stared at him as he watched her reaction. His mouth almost touching hers. He stayed that way for a couple more seconds before he captured her bottom lip between his lips and sucked on it slowly before taking his time to pull away. He sat back up.

  “Well after a couple weeks, the stalking stopped…everything done just like that, she admitted she wasn’t pregnant and that was that.” Peyton stared off into the bedroom, rubbing his hand as if removing a stain. “Then one random day I get a text from her saying she couldn’t live without me, so she was going to kill herself.”

  Ice noticed the trembling of his voice.

  “So, I told her she was crazy, and she wouldn’t do it. Every day she kept saying she would, so I blocked her.” Peyton locked his jaws angrily. “Then one day this bitch goes and swallows a whole bottle of her dad’s prescription pills.” Peyton closed his eyes and took a breath. “What the fuck wa
s her problem? I mean why do people think that they can just end their life without any fucking consequences you know.” Peyton said harshly. “Anyways her maid found her in time, and they pumped it out of her…but when I got to the hospital…I...I saw her and…I just…I didn’t want to fucking be responsible for another----” Peyton’s breathing was uneven, his fists were clenched.

  Ice slowly rubbed his back. “It’s okay.” She said. She brought her hand up to move his hair out of his face. This was far different from the version Brooke said. Brooke said Peyton had been stalking her sister…driving her crazy, threatening and then finally her sister had been pushed so far over the edge that she felt the only way out was to kill herself.