Always

by Sam Crescent

  Anthony continued to frown at her. “You know I hate you?”

  “You don’t, but come on, help me out.”

  “Fine! I’ll cover for you, but I better get a dance and a fucking smile.”

  She leaned over, kissed his cheek, and smiled. “You will.”

  Tabitha didn’t know what was going on between Anthony and Daisy, but either way, she was willing to help both of them out if it meant she got a few minutes alone with Simon. Sneaking out of the house was easy. She pulled her jacket around her, leaving The Skulls’ compound and making her way toward the old park.

  It wasn’t safe anymore, and there was some kind of argument over the land being bought up, with houses built on it. She didn’t know what else was going on with that, and she didn’t really care.

  Chaos Bleeds were in town, but they weren’t staying at the clubhouse, at least not Simon. She figured it had something to do with her being sixteen and him pretty much seventeen and knowing all about sex. Simon had been the first one to find out about a blowjob, not that they’d done anything. Their parents didn’t have to worry. Simon was the perfect gentleman with her. Either way, it didn’t matter. Simon had texted her that he’d be waiting for her.

  Ever since she’d grown boobs and started to ask sexual questions, Tiny, her dad, had become overprotective. She knew about sex and guys. Most of her life had been spent at the club, and even though they tried to stay on their best behavior, it didn’t always work out. People talked and most of the time kids got forgotten about, which meant they opened their mouths frequently.

  As she entered the park, it was too dark, and there wasn’t much light. She couldn’t make anything out.

  Someone placed their hands over her eyes, and she smelled him before hearing him. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

  “I had to blackmail Anthony.”

  Simon chuckled. He stood so close, she felt every inch of him pressed against her back. Even with his hands covering her eyes, she closed hers, basking in his closeness. They rarely wrote to each other now since she was given a phone. They didn’t text, but they called all the time.

  “What did you have to blackmail him with?”

  “Daisy.”

  “Good.” Simon released her, spinning her around, and she finally got to see him.

  Cupping his face, she stared at him for a few moments, just taking him all in, before she went onto her toes to kiss him. He was way too tall for her. One of his hands gripped the back of her head, holding her close. He was getting bigger by the second. Tall, muscular, he owned the place. Gone was the puny little boy who’d tried to pick on her so many years ago. Not that it had lasted all that long.

  “I’ll have to be careful around you. You seem to have a way of getting what you want.”

  “I’ve learned from the master.” She thought about her sister Tate who was much older than her. Tate had given her a few pointers on how to get what she wanted. Tabitha was happy to do most things so long as it didn’t hurt anyone in the process. She couldn’t stand the guilt. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed you.”

  “Your dad would rather have me locked in cuffs than get close to you.” He pushed some of her hair back, and she smiled. “Not that I blame him. You’re so fucking beautiful. I never want to give you back. I bet all the guys are falling all over themselves to get with you.”

  “Stop. I’ve told you. No guy is going to take your place. I don’t know if these moments are perfection or torture.” She gripped his leather jacket, the Chaos Bleeds symbol on the back marking him as the property of the Chaos Bleeds leader. She remembered when Devil gave it to him.

  He’d posed for her during one of their video chats.

  Simon tilted her head back, and she smiled up at him. “They’re perfection, Tabby. You can never reach that without a little bit of torture thrown in.”

  She giggled. “Are you trying to sound all philosophical?”

  “Do you know what that word means?”

  They were both laughing. “Do you?”

  “I know that I will suffer everything to be with you, Tabby. The true torture would be never having these moments, knowing what could have been.”

  Just like that, he stole her heart once again.

  He’d done so a long time ago.

  There was no one else, just her Simon, like she was his Tabby.

  She pressed her head against his chest. “I know you can’t stay too long.”

  Simon sighed. “Dad has already told me we’re heading out tomorrow. I’ve still got school come Monday, and all of their shit has been handled.”

  “I wish you could move here.” She would love to have him here every single day.

  “Do you think you could convince your dad to move to Piston County instead?” he asked.

  “Not a chance,” Tabitha said, pouting. “It’s bad enough when it’s vacation time. I think the only reason he goes out is because of Mom. She needs the time and there’s that whole age-gap thing.” She shrugged. “I hate this.”

  “Sit with me awhile. Let’s not think about tomorrow.” He took her hand and they found a tree to lean up against. He sat down, drawing her between his legs.

  Their moments were becoming less frequent. Lash, The Skulls’ leader and current prez, tended to handle things a lot differently than her father had.

  In the past twenty years, The Skulls had gone through so many changes. She’d only been around for sixteen years of them. Sometimes, she still had nightmares of some of the scarier moments. In recent years, they were legal. Doing everything by the book. The danger was still there, but it was limited. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been called in for lockdown.

  It was nice.

  She got to do pretty much whatever the hell she wanted to do, within reason. Her dad was still way overprotective and yet her twin, Miles, could do whatever the hell he wanted. The double standards were not lost on her. Even though Lash was moving the club forward, her father still had some old-fashioned views.

  Staring up at the stars, Simon wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

  “One day, you and me, we’ll be side by side. Like it was always supposed to be. We both know that’s how it’s meant to be.”

  A pain rushed through her chest. Was it?

  For the longest time, she wanted nothing to do with the club, either of them. The Skulls nor Chaos Bleeds were part of her future plans. That all changed. She didn’t know how it happened. Just one day, she was pissed-off, angry, and the next, she knew without a doubt it was her calling.

  She believed it was something Grandpa Ned had said to her.

  “Honey, I know you don’t want the club life, and you’re right, it’s not for everyone. It takes a lot of dedication and commitment. Running from this doesn’t change who you are. You belong here. You need to understand there are people out there who have nothing. Who have no one. They would love to be in your position. To have family. You leave, your family will always welcome you back. You know how it goes. Don’t for a single second believe you don’t belong here. I know you’re a strong person, and you’re going to grow into a fine woman. The club, it’s part of that. It has helped build you.”

  After their conversation, she’d been in tears. She finally realized that her place was as a part of the club and she didn’t hate that.

  “You’ve gone silent on me,” he said.

  “It’s nothing. You know how it goes.”

  “We’ve never talked about what’s going to happen when we’re able to get married.”

  She tilted her head back. “You’re still wanting to get married?”

  “Hell, yeah, I’d marry you now.”

  She chuckled. “You’re an impatient man, Simon.”

  He held her a little more tightly. “No, I just know what a beauty I’ve got, and how fucking lucky I am.”

  “Simon?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Have you ever kissed another girl?” she asked. For some odd reason, she was think
ing about his question from years ago.

  “No, I’ve never kissed anyone but you.”

  She pulled out of his arms, turned, and sat between his spread thighs, crossing her legs. “You’re sexy, hot. I go to school, so I know a lot of girls, hot girls, throw themselves at the guys. You’ve got ink already. You’re like a rebel. Do you seriously expect me to believe that you’re not, you know, with other girls?”

  Anthony had a reputation at the school, but he never confirmed or denied the other girls’ claims. Tabitha had never seen him with anyone and she knew he was smitten when it came to Daisy. She’d never given herself a chance to think of Simon with someone else. They had hours between each other. Towns, even cities that separated them. For so long, they’d been writing, texting, rarely emailing.

  Simon reached out, tucking one of her blonde locks behind her ear. She’d asked Lacey to dye the tips a deep blue, but her mother had said no. She hoped Lacey wouldn’t listen to her mother and just do it.

  “You think any other girl would ever be able to take your place?”

  “You’re telling me you haven’t?”

  “Tabby, you’ve had me since we were kids. I’ll always be yours.”

  “Love at first punch?”

  “You got it. No, I don’t kiss other girls. I don’t screw other girls. I’m a virgin.”

  She smiled.

  “Don’t laugh.”

  “I’m not laughing. I just, really?”

  “Yeah, really. Do I watch porn, yeah, but it’s not you. I want my first time to be with you.” He teased a strand of her hair.

  “I’m not ready.”

  “Tabby, baby, I’m not rushing you. You ever thought I’m not ready?”

  She leaned in close and kissed his lips. “You’re telling me you’re not ready? If I told you I was ready to get naked with you, you’d tell me no?”

  “Don’t put it like that. We both know you’re not ready. Do I want to have sex with you? Yes, it’s a stupid question. We’ve got the rest of our lives. I’m not going to rush you.” He cupped her face. “This is enough.”

  Kissing him back, she released a moan, feeling a flutter throughout her body.

  “I love you,” she said.

  “Not as much as I love you.”

  “It’s not a competition.”

  “Oh, yes, it is.” He pulled her close and within his arms, she felt warm, safe, protected, and loved. It was all she ever felt with Simon, and all she knew she’d ever feel with him.

  ****

  “We good?” Simon asked Anthony.

  “Why wouldn’t we be?”

  “I don’t know. I asked you to keep an eye on my girl.”

  “Dude, I keep an eye on Tabs even when you don’t want me to. Believe me, I know my place and it’s taking care of everyone. You don’t have to stress it.”

  “You know, a lot of people think you’re weird,” Simon said.

  Rather than respond, Anthony continued to stare at him.

  “Ah, the whole blank look. Does that still work for you?”

  Silence.

  “Right. Keep an eye on Tabby. Let me know about those guys. You know, the ones we caught out by the field that time.”

  “The Monster Dogs MC brats are pieces of shit. You don’t need to worry about them,” Anthony said. “I’ve got them handled.”

  “I don’t like them.”

  “Who does? We shouldn’t even be dealing with them, but I’ve got it covered and you need to stop worrying. Tabs would be pissed if she knew you wanted me to keep a close eye on her. She’s a fighter. I should know.”

  “The Quad?”

  “You got it. It’s where we all go. The Skulls, we’ve got a reputation to uphold.” Anthony glanced back at the clubhouse.

  Simon followed his gaze to see Lash and Devil shake hands. Tabby stood with Daisy. She winked at him.

  “I don’t like her fighting.”

  “One day, you’re going to watch her and realize she’s a fucking queen here, Simon. Tabs isn’t a person you need to be worried about.”

  “Does that make you king?” Simon asked.

  He didn’t like how Anthony was the shit in this town, or at least in their school. It wasn’t lost on him that to some, Tabitha and Anthony should be together.

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about, you know that.”

  “You keep your eyes on your own.”

  Anthony glanced down to where Daisy stood. “I’ve got shit covered. You keep telling me to deal, though, and I will hurt you in other ways.” Anthony slapped him on the shoulder and left him alone.

  That was the most conversation he got out of Anthony. He didn’t know if it was just because of who he was or what. There was no forcing shit with Anthony. The guy did what he wanted to do.

  As he headed back to his dad, Devil told him five minutes.

  He went straight to Tabby.

  “Ugh, this is where you two do your romantic crap, isn’t it?” Daisy asked.

  “You can watch if you want?”

  Daisy rolled her eyes. “I’ll vomit. I’ll be back inside.”

  “I’ll be there in a minute,” Tabby said, turning her smile back to him. “You love irritating her, don’t you?”

  “She gets you every single day. The least she can do is give me these few moments.”

  “You’ll call as soon as you get home?”

  “Yep.”

  “Promise?” Tabby asked.

  “I promise.”

  She grabbed his shirt, pulling him close.

  Sinking his fingers into her hair, he kissed her hard. These moments were the worst. He hated leaving her alone, but there was no way he could stay. Not yet. He’d asked his dad about moving to Fort Wills, but even though The Skulls and Chaos Bleeds worked together as a team on most cases, they were still separate clubs with their own lives.

  Chaos Bleeds owned Piston County, and The Skulls had Fort Wills.

  “Devil,” Tiny, Tabitha’s dad, said with a growl.

  “Son,” Devil said.

  Tabby pulled away with a smile. “See you soon.”

  He wanted to kiss her again. Instead, he pulled away, nodded at Tiny and Lash, and gave the guys he was close friends with a wave.

  Climbing into his dad’s truck, he groaned. This wasn’t the cool way to be leaving his girl. Most of the time, Devil rode with a couple of the boys when they were talking business. With him asking to come as well, the only way to appease his mom was to take the family truck. It was such a buzzkill as it reminded Simon of his parents constantly making babies. Sometimes he even lost count of the number they had.

  They had just gotten out of Fort Wills when his father started to talk.

  “I don’t appreciate you sneaking out. Especially while we’re in Fort Wills.”

  “You knew?”

  “Son, I’m old but I’m not stupid. You and Tabitha are not going to turn me into a grandpa too early.”

  Simon burst out laughing.

  “I’m being serious. Your mom wouldn’t like it either.”

  “No, you’re not going to be a grandpa too soon. Don’t worry about it. Tabby and I don’t get a whole lot of time together. You know how it goes.”

  “I have to say at your age, I don’t. I was fucking everything with a pussy, Simon.”

  “I thought you were supposed to be the voice of reason with me?”

  “I am. I’m not an idiot. I just want you to know what you’ve gotten yourself into. Your mom will be a little more delicate with you.”

  “You think?”

  “I only want what is best for you.”

  “Tabby is what’s best for me.”

  “And when your time comes to take a patch? I know that’s what you want unless you intend to change that.”

  “No, I still want to earn my patch.”

  “You planning on killing me to get my club, son?”

  Simon laughed. “Not a chance. I know you’re going to be around forever. You’ll give me the club
when you’re ready.”

  Devil snorted. “So you’re still wanting to take a patch.”

  “Yeah. It’s all I ever wanted.” For as long as he could remember, watching his father run Chaos Bleeds, seeing his men be loyal to him, creating something that was just so much more than anything else, Simon knew he wanted to be part of that in some way.

  “And you’ve talked to Tabitha about this?”

  “Yeah, she knows.”

  There were a few seconds of silence.

  “What are you not saying, Dad?” he asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Come on. There’s got to be a reason you’ve gone all silent on me. Tell me what it is.”

  He waited.

  “I’ve tried not to interfere when it has come to the whole Tabitha and you thing.”

  “You did try. You failed.”

  “Club shit always gets in the way, but you’ve got to understand, you’re not a boy anymore. You’re on the way to becoming a fine young man.”

  “Why do I feel a but coming on?”

  “But she’s still a Skull. Her place is in Fort Wills and the last time I checked, she’s not planning on moving anywhere.”

  “Your point?”

  “One of you is going to have to make a choice. Either she moves here, or you have to take your patch with them.”

  He saw his father’s hands tighten on the wheel.

  “We don’t have to worry about that yet,” he said. Simon wasn’t stupid. He’d realized Tabby never confirmed they’d stay together. He didn’t know how he was going to make it work, only that he had to. He had to do something. The thought of not having her in his life, of them not being together, it just didn’t seem possible to him.

  She was the only person he ever wanted, the only one he wanted to be with. He loved her more than anything.

  Rubbing at his temple, he turned his attention out of the window.

  “I know this is the kind of shit you don’t want to know.”

  “I get it, Dad.”

  “I’m looking out for you.”

  “I know.”

  Silence once again.

  Gritting his teeth, he tried to not think about anything. Driving away from Tabby was always difficult. The time they had together was a few stolen moments like last night. Everything else had to work. When he talked to his mom about it, she always offered him a sweet smile as if she knew what kind of trouble he was having.