Always

by Sam Crescent

“Go!” Again, he snapped the word.

  She left his office and went straight to her bedroom where, sure enough, Simon was there, pacing.

  “You’re okay?” he asked, pulling her into his arms.

  “I’m fine.”

  “He didn’t harm you?”

  “He’s not that bad. He’s got a lot on his plate right now with your mom. He wants to make sure we keep it in our pants.” She giggled. “What is it with our parents and thinking the moment we’re together, we’re having sex?”

  “Because of our ages.”

  “I know a lot of people are having sex, like a lot, but I don’t know, I mean, one day, I’m going to want to, but right now, I enjoy being with you.”

  He ran his hands down her arms, his touch setting her on fire. Even though she wanted to have sex to get it over with, and so she could have a reason to listen to their parents’ warning, she wasn’t ready.

  “I enjoy being with you as well.” He kissed her lips. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I’m not going to be staying all the time. It’s temporary.”

  “I know, but come on, this is … more than I could have hoped.”

  They sat down on her bed and she kicked her shoes off.

  “Tell me how you’re dealing,” she said, reaching out and pushing some of his hair off his face. “Don’t hide from me.”

  “I’m… It all kinds of feels like a blur right now. Like all of this is happening to someone else and I’m just along for the ride. I keep expecting someone to jump out and say it’s a joke.”

  “It’s not though,” she said, softly.

  “No, it’s not.”

  She took his hand, kissing his knuckles.

  “I, Tabby, cancer, it’s not good.”

  “I know.”

  “I don’t know how I’m going to deal. I know Darcy got through it, but she’s not my mom.”

  Tears filled her eyes as she watched Simon slowly fall apart. This was why she had to come to him. She’d heard it in his voice. The confusion. The fear. His life was running too far too fast and he couldn’t keep up. He was drowning in it.

  “I’m here.”

  “I don’t know what I’ll do if anything happens to her. I don’t want anything to happen to her. She’s my mom.” The tears fell down his cheeks.

  She cried right along with him.

  “Tabby, I don’t know what to do. I feel, I feel angry.”

  She pulled him close and his face pressed against her chest. He cried harder and she held him, refusing to let him go. This was all she could do. This was how he needed her. Not back in Fort Wills, but so he could hold her, to have someone stable to make the world seem okay again.

  The world was never going to be okay.

  She knew that.

  Lexie’s life hung in the balance and with it, Simon’s stability, even Devil’s. The man downstairs hadn’t scared her, but experience told her he was holding on by a thread. If this was an outside, physical force threatening them, they could all fight it together. There was nothing they could do. Only Lexie, and what her body was capable of.

  Simon lifted up and pressed his thumb and finger to both of his eyes, which were closed tight. “I’m fine.” His voice broke.

  “You’re not fine.”

  “I promised myself I wouldn’t cry.”

  “I know. I did that with Darcy,” she said. “It’s not good to see people you love dying. It breaks you apart, piece by piece. You have to be strong for them. We’ve got to be strong for Lexie. It’ll help her.”

  “I don’t even know if this is an early diagnosis or not. Man, everything is so fucked up. I wish they’d just kept on having kids. This would have been so much easier.”

  They were shouted down for dinner and Tabby slid off the bed, taking Simon into the bathroom, and she helped him splash water on his face.

  “It’s going to be okay,” she said.

  “I know. I know you’re just saying that.”

  “It may sound like it right now, but day by day, I’m going to be here.”

  He lifted his head. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”

  “No.”

  He took her hand and together, they walked downstairs. Devil was already in the dining room, dealing with the kids. Simon immediately went to help and she didn’t take a seat but walked into the kitchen to see Lexie stirring up a large bowl.

  “It’s just garlic tomato pasta. I know it’s Devil’s favorite,” Lexie said.

  “I love it as well.”

  “Your mom told me that you’ve given up meat.”

  Tabitha laughed. “You should have heard my dad. He thought I was being a rebel and a giant pain in the ass.”

  “I bet. I remember you always running around, wanting sausages and burgers,” Lexie said. “Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago. How are you handling it?”

  “I’m doing fine.”

  “Dick and Martha went vegan as well,” Lexie said. “I know the club thought they were crazy.”

  “I’m not vegan, just, you know, vegetarian. Daisy’s going vegan, I think. She keeps on searching this stuff online, kind of scary. Do you want me to stir that?” she asked. Lexie was looking tired by the second.

  “Yes, please, I would appreciate it. I still want to do everything. Nothing has changed, at least not yet.”

  Tabitha smiled and took over, stirring up the large bowl of pasta. Her stomach growled.

  “Oh, I also made garlic bread,” Lexie said. She went to bend down, but Tabitha quickly grabbed her and placed her on a chair. “Sorry, a little dizzy there.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m here. I can help.” She smiled at Lexie.

  “You haven’t asked,” Lexie said after a couple of seconds had passed. The pasta was all combined with the intense sauce, and she was chopping the garlic bread into strips.

  Tabitha paused and turned to the older woman. “I figure you’ve spent a lot of time talking about it. People, everyone you know is treating you differently, fragile. It only drills in that something is wrong. I know it can feel overwhelming.”

  “You helped Darcy,” Lexie said.

  “We’re close. Most of the time. Not recently. What she went through was tough, you know. I remember feeling so helpless nearly all of the time. I know this is going to be hard on everyone. Darcy got tired of people treating her like she was sick.” She laughed even as tears filled her eyes. “I never did. I always treated her the same and she needed that.”

  Lexie was crying now. “Thank you, Tabitha. I don’t—this is going to be tough without everything. Simon is going to need you.”

  “And I’m going to be here for him and for you. I promise.”

  “You know, this brings back a memory, but not like you think.” Lexie sighed.

  “What kind of memory?” She was curious.

  “Oh, it was when Simon was little. He wanted to learn how to bake chocolate chip cookies for you.” Lexie chuckled. “I put out three whole cups of chocolate chips, and you know what, he ate them all. He had chocolate at the corners of his mouth. It was so cute.” She laughed. “Wow, I haven’t thought about that. I know this is of no relation to that time. Just one of those memories.”

  “I love it,” Tabitha said.

  She finished cutting the garlic bread and piled it high up on a plate. “Come on, let’s get you and all of this to the table.” She carried the tray to the table while also being ready to help Lexie.

  “I think I’m going to enjoy having more help,” Lexie said.

  Returning to the kitchen, she swiped at her cheeks to make sure there were no tears. She wasn’t here to cause more trouble.

  Taking the pasta to the table, she offered a smile and left Devil to dish them all out some food. This was like being back at home. Already on the first day, she was missing home. The comfort of it.

  Picking up her fork, she ate her food and tried not to think about everything happening around her. Devil took the time with each kid, asking them about
school. This was the first time she’d seen him as a family man, especially this up close and personal.

  Laughter filled the table.

  Once the meal was finished, she helped clean the table and do the dishes before heading upstairs to shower and go to bed. Simon had whispered he’d be in as his dad wanted to have another talk with him.

  With her hair wrapped up in a towel, she called Daisy. Her best friend’s face appeared on the screen.

  “It’s about time you called me. I was starting to worry.”

  “Sorry. I was going to call.”

  “How is it?”

  “It’s … fine.”

  “I know that voice.”

  “Really, it’s fine. Everyone is happy and I think they’re just trying to get through each day, you know?”

  “I bet. It must suck with everything.”

  She nodded. “I miss you.”

  “I miss you too. How is Lexie?”

  “She’s fine. She had a dizzy spell while we were in the kitchen. I helped her the best way I can, but I don’t even know if it’s enough, you know? What am I doing here, Daisy?”

  “You’re being the best damn friend and girlfriend a person could be. You’re not there for yourself, you’re there to help Simon. Let’s face it, we know you’re only there for him.”

  She chuckled. “I am, but I like Lexie as well. I want to help her.”

  “You will. You always know what to do.”

  “I hope so,” Tabitha said. “You will not believe what happened when I got here. Devil took me to his office and he laid some ground rules down.”

  “He didn’t?”

  “Yep. He’s worried Simon and I are having sex. I would love to know when our parents think we have the time to actually have sex. It must be nice to be a grownup.”

  Daisy laughed. “I miss you. School is going to suck royally without you.”

  “I know. I’ll be back soon. This isn’t permanent. Just helping out as best as I can.”

  “What if it is, you know, permanent?”

  Tabitha shook her head. “Not happening. I know my parents wouldn’t be happy about me staying here all the time.” She sighed. “It’s what I’ve got to do though.”

  “I’m sure Luke is missing you,” Daisy said.

  “Don’t even start with all of that. How is Anthony?” Tabitha asked.

  Daisy rolled her eyes.

  “You’re going to have to understand that you can’t hide away from that for much longer.”

  “Nothing is going on and you keep on mentioning it.”

  “Seriously, Daisy, how can you not see that Anthony has the biggest crush on you? He has for as long as I’ve known him.”

  “I’m going to hang up now.”

  “Does it make you uncomfortable?” Tabitha asked.

  “I … I think you’re wrong. Look, I’ve got to go. Dad’s calling me.”

  “You’re lying.”

  The line went dead and Tabitha blew out a breath.

  “I think she’s uncomfortable.”

  She jumped and looked up to see Simon had snuck into her room.

  “Do I need to put a bell on you?” she asked.

  Simon laughed. “You were too busy telling your best friend how much Anthony has a crush on her.”

  “I’m not wrong. He does.”

  “Yeah, well, she clearly is afraid or doesn’t want to see it.”

  “I know, which I don’t get. Anthony dotes on her. He protects her all the time.” Tabitha put her cell phone down, climbed off the bed, and unwrapped her hair. Running a brush through it, she looked over at Simon who was smiling widely at her. “What?”

  “Nothing, I just can’t believe you’re here.”

  “I know. I meant what I said. I’m not going to break any one of his rules,” she said.

  Simon sighed and moved to her bed, climbing on in. “I’m not breaking any of his rules. I must be the most boring boyfriend on the planet.” He lifted the blankets. “Are you coming in?”

  She slid beneath the covers, snuggling up against him. “You’re not boring. You’re the best.”

  “The best kind of boyfriend would try to get a sneaky feel.”

  “No, he wouldn’t. You respect me to not push my boundaries and like I’ve told you before and I will keep telling you, I love you even more for it.” She gripped his face between her hands and kissed him, hard. “Love you so much.”

  “Love you too.” His hand went to her back and she moaned a little. “We better get some sleep.”

  “Yes, a lot to do tomorrow.” She switched off the light, snuggled in against him, and knew she would be here for him, no matter what.

  ****

  Simon loved having his girl at school. She wasn’t in any of his classes but walking into school with her on his arm felt fucking amazing. Of course his brother Josh, bless him, struggled with her presence.

  Tabby hadn’t said anything to Josh about his crush. She was too sweet to bring too much attention to it.

  “This is your locker,” Tabby asked, running her hand down the metal.

  “You never seen a locker before?” Dean asked.

  With the emancipation now going ahead, Dean was currently renting a motel room while he looked for a possible apartment. His dad and the lawyer were handling it. If he needed anything though, Simon was there for him.

  “Yeah, we totally have them back home. I’m just basking in the moment.”

  “She’s taking the piss, as I’m sure Adam would say,” Simon said, referring to the British patched-in member of The Skulls.

  “You got that right.” She popped her gum, hands on hips. “Anyway, I’ve got to get to reception. If I in any way shirk my studies, my parents will kill me, and we all know they know how to hide a body. Walk me there?”

  “You got it.” He slammed his locker closed, fist-bumped his friends, and took off.

  “It must be odd, being the oldest Chaos member,” Tabby said. “I never thought about how lucky I am. For some of us, there are only a couple of months, and then there is always Miles.” She wrinkled her nose. “I try not to think too much about that. Sharing a womb with him was way too much even for me.”

  Simon laughed. He walked down the corridor, his arm across her shoulder. People moved out of their way, all apart from Wayne, the douchebag football jock.

  Tabby had her arm around Simon’s waist.

  “Move,” Tabby said.

  More of Wayne’s jock friends stood at his back.

  “Simon, you didn’t tell me the people here didn’t understand English.”

  “I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Wayne said. “You’re the new girl and you can do so much better than spending time with the likes of him.” He offered out his hand.

  Tabby stared at his hand and then burst out laughing. “Oh, that is a good one. Seriously, the likes of him?”

  Simon kissed her head. He fucking loved this girl.

  “Wow,” Tabby said. She pulled out of Simon’s hold and spun so they could see her leather jacket. Devil had agreed to allow her to wear her patched member jacket claiming her to be the property of The Skulls. “I am his kind, asshole, but thank you for clearing that up. Now, move, or I move you, simple as that.”

  Wayne looked a little startled but instantly masked it. “I see.”

  “Yeah, keep on throwing the names out. You think I don’t hear them on a daily basis? Do they make guys like this in some kind of factory? For a jerk son, please apply?” Tabitha asked.

  “Not a clue,” Simon said. “I suggest you back off. She’s not like your little groupies. She’s more likely to cut your dick off than suck it.”

  He hadn’t seen Tabitha fight in a long time, but he’d also promised his father. Stepping forward, he got in Wayne’s face. “Or are you and I about to have a throw-down? I would kill to snap your leg right now.” Thoughts of cancer, of his mom’s pain, and of what his family was going through filled his head. He wanted to hurt someone. To do as much dama
ge as possible.

  Wayne laughed. “It looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of fun.” He backed off.

  Simon looked at Tabby, who was frowning at their retreating backs. “They do know they’ve just labeled themselves as cowards, right?”

  “It happens.”

  “Your school is way different from mine. If that would have been Luke, there would have been a fight. Of course, if a teacher turns up wanting to slap us all with suspensions or expulsions, it’s the classic, we all slipped.”

  “I can’t even imagine what it must be like at your school. I don’t get into a lot of fights here. At least not anymore.” They arrived at the reception and Tabby groaned.

  “This is going to suck. I’ll see you at lunch?” Tabby asked, putting a hand on his chest.

  “Count on it.” He kissed her head and turned, making his way to homeroom.

  Throughout the morning, he heard the whispers and the rumors about the new girl. People were already curious about her. It wasn’t like she was new. She didn’t even attend their classes. The setup was that she’d complete her courses in the privacy of one of the offices near the principal. It had all been arranged between Tiny, Devil, and the school. Tabby wasn’t part of the school, just continuing her education.

  In History, Dean and Eddie sat in front of him, but leaned back.

  “So have you heard?” Eddie asked.

  “Heard what?”

  “What people are saying about Tabitha?”

  “Yeah, they’re all curious about her. Who wouldn’t be?” he asked. He was a little annoyed with the attention she was getting. Tabby belonged to him. He didn’t like to share. Having her here was something he’d been wanting for a long time. Now that she was, he didn’t like the idea of others getting to know her, of seeing how damn special she was. She belonged to him, only to him.

  “He hasn’t heard,” Dean said.

  “Amber’s threatening to kick her ass at lunchtime.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, it’s what everyone is talking about.” Eddie smiled.

  Dean shrugged. “How does your girl fare in a fight?”

  “Tabby can hold her own.” Simon ran fingers through his hair.

  “Why do you not look happy about this? Someone needs to put Amber in her place,” Eddie said. “Come on, this could make for a good lunch.”