Suckers Go To Hell Book # 4 (San Francisco Vampires)

by Jessica McBrayer

  “Will that stop all this nonsense?” I asked.

  “It should slow it down to a legal battle and stop the physical attacks.”

  “That was so low trying to get me while I was sleeping and couldn’t fight back,” I said feeling my fangs slide out. I was pissed.

  “Oh, babe. You’re showing fang and I’m naked. I think we better get some more practice in,” Diel said and grinned.

  Later when I was taking my shower, I felt better but I was still pissed. How could his parents do this? He was their son. Didn’t they want him to be happy? Were they so selfish? I had to think yes. It was all I had seen of them. I was glad we were doing the ceremony tonight. It would feel like we were getting married and I was old fashioned enough to want that.

  When I left the bathroom, Diel was on the phone to Brandon telling him what had happened. He ended his phone call while I dressed in a dress and heels by a new promising designer whose name I couldn’t pronounce. I put on a light amount of makeup and messed with my hair.

  “You look beautiful,” Diel said coming up behind me, wrapping his arms around me. He caressed my belly and I leaned back into him.

  “Do your parents know we went to Dr. Hildebrand?”

  “No, and I don’t want them to, either. It’s none of their business. I called this morning and there’s no news yet.”

  “We only have two days before we leave. I hope he can get the results back before then,” I said.

  “Me too, babe.”

  “We need to get you fed. You must need your energy refueled after that fight,” I said turning in his arms and caressing his face. He leaned into my hand.

  “Mmm… I had a huge breakfast, but I could eat again.” He laughed.

  “That’s my big man. Let’s get out of this house. It gives me the creeps. Like I’m in a prison.”

  “Your wish is my command, my dear,” he said, stealing Aidan’s line.

  “Speaking of Aidan, do you think we should call him? Have him come down for back up? I would love him to be at the ceremony.”

  “That’s not a bad idea. Being a fire spirit he can come and go as he wants. I would like him here at the ceremony too. A little extra protection. I can’t stay awake all the time. I’ll call him from the car. There’s more privacy,” he said.

  We went the back way to the garage and took an SUV so we could bring Hades with us. We didn’t want anything to happen to him while we were gone. He hung his head out the window as per usual. I was relaxing a little. Having Aidan here would make me feel better. Diel turned on his blue tooth. Gotta love Ma Hell Mobile… guaranteed service down under and top side.

  “Aidan? Diel. We have a mess down here. My parents are trying to dissolve our mating.” I heard yelling from his phone. “They’ve hired a Voodoo doctor.” More yelling on the other side.

  “This morning they hired a goon to attack Hannah while she was sleeping.” Diel headed right onto the road, not missing a beat in the conversation. “I killed the scum but I can’t watch her the whole time. Plus we are secretly having our mating ceremony tonight and we want you there. Can you come down side?”

  “Great, see you soon.”

  No sooner had he said that then Aidan was sitting in the back seat. Hades went wild licking him and I screamed. So not cool. Aidan burst out laughing.

  “It is such a pleasure to see you too, Hannah. Diel, not so much, what in the gods’ name happened to your face?” Aidan asked.

  “A Demon, about seven feet four inches, built like a linebacker.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yeah, ouch is right, but he got his own,” Diel said and smirked. I patted him on the leg. He grabbed my hand and squeezed.

  “Where are we off to?” Aidan asked.

  “Lunch,” I said.

  “Lovely, I’m famished.”

  “I know a fun restaurant in town that has good food and lots of interesting Demons. You should be able to get your fill of interesting energies, Aidan,” Diel said.

  “Great. Then you can fill me in on the way.”

  Diel explained in more detail the previous night’s events and his parents’ behavior toward me. When he mentioned Josephine both Aidan and Hades growled.

  “As always, my godson has his priorities straight, I can see,” Aidan said, patting Hades on the head and being rewarded by more licks. Ugh the drool. Aidan just snapped and it disappeared. Handy trick.

  Diel finished with that morning’s event. Aidan had a stern look on his face.

  “Are you okay, Hannah?”

  “Yes, I’ve already healed. I did it in my sleep. I’m just pissed I missed out on the action.”

  Aidan grinned at me and ruffed up my hair.

  “Hey now,” I said jerking my head away. “I’m doing the respectable look here. Don’t mess with the do.”

  “Sorry, Ganja Girl. I wouldn’t want you pissed at me, too,” he said.

  “That’s more like it.”

  By now we were at the restaurant. Diel found a parking place about a block away and we started walking. We passed a newsstand. I glanced at it and yelped, stopping in my tracks, making Aidan run into me and Diel stumble, since he was holding my hand.

  Plastered all over every available space of the top fold of the front page were pictures of Diel kissing me. Headlines read: Duke and Duchess?; Dukes New Conquest; Vamping it Up? and more. I gasped. Diel cursed and Aidan laughed. He had always had a twisted sense of humor.

  “I-I can’t believe it. You warned me but I can’t believe so many…” I blurted out.

  “Well, the nice thing about it is that mother and Josephine are going to have a fit,” Diel said and laughed.

  “I imagine so, I would love to see the look on their faces this morning when the newspapers arrived,” Aidan said. “Come on let’s give them another show.” He grabbed my hand pulled Diel and me along towards the restaurant. When he got there he addressed the maître de.

  “The Duke and Duchess would like a table for three, please. Outside if you have it.”

  “Yes, Sir. Right away, Sir.”

  “Aidan… Is this a good idea?” I asked.

  “Yes,” said Diel and Aidan simultaneously. Okay, if they were good with it, I was good with it.

  We were seated immediately. At a table, front and center. The best in the house. Aidan was able to people watch and absorb their energy, which fueled his magick, and Diel and I could cuddle for all to see. And we did. Slow caresses here and there, soft kisses, and low throaty laughter. We heard the cameras going off, and it was hard for me to ignore them at first but Diel made it easier with the things he was whispering in my ear.

  “You know I have excellent hearing,” Aidan said making a face at us. I burst out laughing and then apologized.

  “I’m not sorry,” Diel said.

  “No, I suppose if I were in your shoes I wouldn’t apologize either. Now tell me what else is going on. I suspect something else. You too are over the top lovey-dovey lately. It’s sickening.”

  I looked at Diel and he nodded slightly.

  “We’re trying to make a baby,” I whispered so no one else could hear.

  Aidan’s eyes popped open. Then a huge smile spread across his face.

  “You know what this means, don’t you?”

  “What?” I said.

  “I will be a godfather all over again. Your child will be the most spoiled child that ever walked the planet!” he whispered conspiratorially.

  Diel chuckled. Aidan shook his hand, and kissed my cheek.

  “Does anyone else know?” he asked.

  “No, in fact we are here to see a doctor about it, so please don’t tell anyone,” I said.

  “You know Lilith is going to go thermonuclear when she finds out she wasn’t the first to know,” Aidan said.

  “Then you will have to be a good actor and pretend you just found out too,” I told him sternly.

  “I’m a terrible actor, Hannah, but I will try for you, love.”

  “Thank you,” I sa
id knowing he would tease and push the edge of his promise just to get me fired up.

  “Well what time is the blessed event tonight?” Aidan asked.

  “Eleven,” Diel said after wiping his mouth. “My best friend down here is performing it and has a secret locale set up.”

  “Excellent. I look forward to it.” Aidan squeezed my hand and then leaned back, stretching out fully in his chair. I took a sip of the excellent wine they served at “Horny’s.”

  Later we did some Christmas shopping. I knew Lily would love to get something from Hell and Aidan promised he would zap it home for me. We would be spending Christmas Eve with Diel’s parents and then after I woke up we would port back to top side and spend Christmas evening at the manse.

  We were mostly window shopping. Aidan soaked up the energy like a glutton. Hades wasn’t even trying to match up Demons. He was being very protective of me, heeling on his leash and nudging my hand for me to pet him. I made sure we stopped at a butcher’s to get him the marrow-bone of an exotic, elephant type animal that lived in Hell. Diel assured me it was not endangered. Hades proudly carried it all the way to the car with drool hanging in long cords from the side of his mouth.

  Eventually, we had to face Diel’s parents. I felt much better about it with Aidan at our side. We drove back, Diel was in a dark mood as he steered us up the drive. Aidan popped out and opened my door for me while Diel handled Hades and our packages.

  The minute we hit the front doors we heard his mother screaming for him. She came teetering out of the parlor on outrageously high heels with a martini in her hand. She took one look at him and started blubbering.

  “What happened to you? My baby boy! Oh Lucifer! Doxie. Doxie. Come quick, she’s attacked our boy!” Millicent threw her martini in my face and charged me. Aidan snapped his fingers and she froze where she was, mid-attack. Diel’s face was one of shock. He quickly snapped out of it.

  “Thanks, Aidan. I don’t know what came over me. I’ve never seen her act that way before.”

  Doxie, Diel’s dad came running in stumbling over his wife. Diel righted him at the last minute.

  “Easy, dad. Hannah didn’t do this to me. That bastard you sent to kidnap her did this to me. So I guess you could say you and Mom paid to rough me up,” Diel growled. His mother was blinking wildly because it was the only thing she could do. I was just dripping on the foyer carpet.

  “My name is Aidan. I’m a very good friend of Hannah and Diel’s and I am a Djinn, so behave,” Aidan said. He snapped again and Millicent started yapping like a Pekingese. “Uh uh uh…” Aidan said waving his finger.

  “How dare you use magick on me in my own home, Jinni,” Millicent spluttered.

  “How dare you throw alcohol on Hannah and accuse her of hurting me when you and Dad hired some thug to kidnap her,” Diel shouted, stepping protectively in front of me.

  “I noticed you left me with a dead body to dispose of,” Millicent said dismissively. She didn’t even attempt to apologize. She turned on her heels and started tottering off to get a fresh drink. Diel made a choking sign behind her back and actually took a step towards her until I stopped him.

  Aidan noticing my dripping state, waved his hand at me and fixed my clothes, hair and makeup. Love him.

  “Well, how do you want to handle this?” I asked Diel.

  “I say we get our things and go stay at a hotel. I don’t think we’re safe here and frankly I could give a rat’s ass what they think anymore. I just want to perform the ceremony and wait for the doctor’s results.”

  So that’s what we did. Aidan popped our stuff down and summoned a car for us. We didn’t even say goodbye. Diel left them a note.

  We drove downtown to the swankest hotel I’d ever seen, even nicer then the Fairmont in San Fran. We were met by liveried valet and porters. Reception was an “experience.”

  They handed us a glass of champagne and informed us of all the amenities while we were booked into our room. We took two, one for Hades and Aidan, and one for Diel and me. Diel started to relax in the elevator. No one knew where we were. We were safe and I was going to take a massive soak in the in room Jacuzzi with my man.

  Later in the tub, lying up against Diel’s warm, fine chest, all seemed right with the world. We would have to leave in a half hour so our time was coming to an end. But I was excited.

  Aidan had summoned the ceremonial robes from Diel’s house and they were beautiful. They were the deepest crimson, with black diamonds and pearls interlaid around my collar like a choker. Diel’s was simpler with onyx and rubies. The robes were velvet, so soft that I wondered how they had lasted the ages. Demon magick, I was sure. There was also a ceremonial knife, couldn’t get away without one of those, this was Hell after all. Diel had explained that during the ceremony we were supposed to cut our palms and share our blood. I healed fast but Diel was only just now healing from the morning’s attack. He still sported all the cuts and bruises, only they were fading. I made a mental note to remind him not to cut too deeply.

  We climbed out and toweled off.

  “You are so beautiful, babe.” He captured my mouth and kissed me soundly.

  “And you are edible so if you keep doing that we are going to be late for our wedding,” I said my voice all hoarse and husky. He groaned and kissed me again before letting me go.

  While he shaved, I applied some black eyeliner I had squirreled away without Lily knowing. I already felt better. And it looked appropriate for the outfit. I applied smoky eye shadow and then copious amounts of Diel’s favorite lotion so I would smell like my old self. I put on some of my finest lingerie and then the ceremonial gown. When he came out his mouth dropped. He grinned.

  “Now there’s the girl I know. Thank you, Babe. It wouldn’t be right to have you all pink and rosy for this,” he said and gave me a chaste kiss this time. He was stunning. He looked like he was made to wear the robe. There was a knock at the door. Diel and I looked warily at each other but then Hades went bounding to the door, doing the puppy dog grin he reserved for Aidan and those he loved.

  I went to answer it. Aidan smiled at me.

  “I approve. You are back to the Hannah I know and love, that’s important for tonight,” he said as he gave me a hug. “Let’s go, my godson is anxious to play outside.”

  Aidan took our hands and we manifested through the warm winds right into a trap.

  12. AIDAN

  At least we surprised them. The woods were thick on either side of a small clearing with a huge fire burning in a pit. Cars were parked around the pit. They had their backs turned to us, but everyone was there and accounted for. Josephine spun first. Then someone I assumed was Brandon. I assumed Josephine and Brandon’s parents were the others by their red flaming hair.

  They had their game face on. I was about to manifest us out of there but a steel net was thrown over Diel. Hannah broke our contact and ran to his side. She attacked the netting like a Titan. It was then that I realized it wasn’t steel. It was a special magicked alloy they used to capture renegade Demons. He wouldn’t be able to break out and she wouldn’t be able to break it either.

  “Brandon, help us!” Hannah screamed in fury and desperation.

  Brandon gave her a sly look and then pudgy boy started walking over to us.

  “Did you really think I’d choose a Vampire over my sister?” He laughed. “So you could breed an abomination?”

  I threw him in the fire pit.

  “Hannah, we have to get out of here. Diel will be okay. Come on, love. Hurry,” I yelled at her.

  “No,” she screamed, terror in her eyes. “They have a Witch doctor. He’ll break our bond. I can’t let them have him, Aidan. Diel, stay with me,” she pleaded. My heart was breaking. I knew what she said was true but I couldn’t let her get hurt. The alloy would suck the energy out of a Djinn. They didn’t know that but soon I wouldn’t be able to transmanifest us out. We had to do something soon. I might be able to break the alloy if I sent everything I had in me. But tha
t would make me defenseless. I pulled Hannah to me.

  “Hannah, I think I can break it, but I won’t have any magick left afterwards. Will you protect me?”

  “I will die trying,” she said with a menacing glint in her eye. I knew she meant it. “Do it Aidan, and then Diel and I will kick some major Demon ass,” she growled, her fangs fully distended.

  I made her stand back and prayed to what gods, there might be, that this act wouldn’t be the last of me.

  I leveled the alloy with that one blast. Diel came out roaring. He grew before our eyes to the Duke Demon he was born to be. At least thirty feet tall. No horns or scales to frighten Hannah, just incredible height and strength and anger. Let us not forget how angry he was.

  He took one swipe at Brandon, who had managed to crawl out of the pit, and he lay unconscious before us. Next were Josephine’s parents. He dropped them from the top of a tree. Josephine rose to the beast she was. Not nearly as big Diel, but Goddess, she was ugly. Hannah went for Diel’s parents and they ran for their car. Hannah jumped on the windshield and punched a hole through it. She grabbed Diel’s mother and smacked her against the window, knocking her out cold. Satisfied, she let Doxie keep driving. She leapt down landing like a cat on all fours, she turned her attention back to Diel and Josephine. I was sure Diel meant to kill Josephine. They were dancing around each other. She could breathe fire, the bitch. Diel was jumping out of the way laughing at her like she was an ant.

  “Help, Aidan, get Diel!” Hannah screamed.

  “Yes, get Diel,” someone said.

  We all turned. Josephine let out an animalistic sounding laugh as we realized Brandon had awoken and had Hannah by the throat. He had the ceremonial knife against her neck. All he had to do was slice through and cut off her head. She would be truly dead. Diel stopped in his tracks. Josephine and Diel morphed back to their human-looking aspect. Diel magicked his robe back as he morphed. She was naked. She didn’t care.

  Josephine moseyed up to Diel laying a hand on his arm. He flicked it away. His eyes never left Hannah’s. Josephine’s face turned from victory to rage.

  “Diel, you will break your bond and you will bond with me or your bloodsucking bitch will die in front of your eyes. We will give you twenty-four hours to think about it,” she said. She strolled past Diel and me and motioned for Brandon to bring Hannah along. She reached in Diel’s direction and mouthed “I’m sorry.”