by Andrea Ring
I rub my scarred eye, which has begun to twitch. “Kai, in the interest of honesty, I’ll say this: I’d like for you to be good for me, and to me. I’d like whatever time I have left to be…pleasant. Hell, if we just had a lot of sweaty sex I’d probably die a happy woman.”
Kai’s eyes grow wide, and I laugh.
“Got you.”
He smiles. “You did.”
“But I’m half-serious. Maja has left me, and he did it with a specific purpose — so that I can have a happy life. I am going to try to do that, no matter what intrigue plagues us, no matter what the assassins have planned, even with a veil permanently over my head. Maja deserves for me to do that.
“But as I said, the obstacles to my happiness are great. I guess that’s what I was getting at. It won’t be easy for me.”
Kai stretches out his legs and leans back on his hands. “When I was ten, my mother fell off her horse. She hit her head on a rock, and basically became a living vegetable.”
I cannot hide my surprise. “The queen has been incapacitated for fifteen cycles?”
Kai nods. “No one knows but Manoj and Faaris and those who take care of her. She hasn’t left her chambers since. She cannot speak, cannot feed herself, cannot get out of bed.”
“Oh, Kai,” I say, but he remains stoic.
“When I set off for this journey, I insisted on seeing her. My father had never let me see her. I hadn’t been in my mother’s presence since the accident. For me, she’s been dead.”
I reach out and place my hand above his knee. I squeeze gently, and he gives me a small smile.
“So for cycles and cycles, I rarely gave her a thought. I loved her, and I mourned her, and I moved on. But since seeing her, how her muscles had atrophied, and her body was covered in bedsores, and how pale she was from lack of sunlight and joy…I’ve been sick to my stomach. I’ve been living my life, playing around, laughing and smiling…and she’s been a prisoner in the cage of her body. She was literally down the hall from me all the while. And I can use the excuse that my father refused to let me see her, but when I pushed the issue, when I put my foot down, my father relented. I could have been there for her. I should have been there for her.”
“You were just a child, Kai,” I say. “Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to mourn her for fifteen cycles. She would have wanted you to have a happy life. Nothing brings a mother more joy than the laughter of her children.”
Kai smiles, just a bit. “How many children do you want, Nili?”
I smile back. “I’ve never thought about it, at least not since my accident.”
“Well?”
“I…Kai, our marriage is not going to last long enough for children.”
“Then let’s pretend,” he says. “Just for a moment. I’d like ten.”
“Ten?” I gasp. “You want an acting troop!”
He chuckles. “Why not? A few girls to spoil, and boys to wrestle with and train at swordplay. I didn’t have that. I had Faaris and Manoj and other nobles’ children to play with, but I didn’t have that sibling bond. I’d like for my own children to have that.”
“I’d like four,” I say out of nowhere. “Two boys and two girls. I always wanted a sister, and Peter, my brother, he said he always wanted a brother.”
“Do you miss him?” Kai asks.
I shrug. “Because of the circumstances, yes. I would give anything to change my actions that day and to have him back. But if I really think on it, we weren’t close. He teased me a lot, and he gave my friends a hard time, particularly Saphala. He hated the untouchables. He was following in my father’s footsteps, learning to be a healer, and he refused to work on anyone who was an untouchable. He and my father had quite a row about it the day before our accident. I always wondered where his prejudice came from.”
“But we’ve already determined that he was in love with an untouchable,” Kai reminds me. “So either he was acting, or someone made him change his mind.”
I get a sudden whiff of the torch smoke, and the scent reminds me of Peter. I shudder.
Kai sits up suddenly, concern etched on his face. “Does it trouble you to speak about him?”
“A bit,” I confess. “I’ve never spoken about him with anyone, not even my parents. They can’t stand to hear his name. So I just learned not to bring him up.”
“It’s the same with my mother,” Kai says. “I mean, her condition was explained to me, and every once in a while, my father would give me a brief and overly positive report, but it was taboo to bring her up myself. I got either anger or tears, so I learned to stop.”
“Exactly,” I say.
I meet Kai’s eyes, and he stares at me. I stare back.
“We do have things in common,” I finally say.
“We do.”
We spend the next hour packing up and cleaning the cave. I don’t want any reminders of me here when Maja returns. If he returns.
Kai grabs the torch off the wall and looks at me. “Ready?”
I take one final look around. I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life here.
“Ready.”
XXXVII. THE KING
I sent one of my servants dressed in my finery and with a cadre of swordsman to visit the maiden barracks. Kai wanted me to go myself, to avert the attempt on my life. But since there’s no attempt imminent, I thought I’d save my strength.
The headaches are getting worse.
I can either spend my day in pain, tears blurring my vision, or I can take the drugged tea my healer brews and spend the day in a fog. Most days now, I drink the bitter tea.
The head seamstress makes an appearance this morning, and she looks good enough to drink.
“King Jagir,” she says, bowing low on the blood-red carpet of the throne room.
I shakily descend the dais and grasp her hands. “Mita, my saucy little friend,” I say with a wink. “To what do I owe the honor?”
She smiles coyly. “I have the fabric choices for the royal wedding,” she says. “Would Prince Kai like to make the selection himself?”
I wave a hand in the air. “He’s far too busy,” I say without further explanation. “I’ll choose myself.”
Mita turns and waves her servants forward. Their arms are stuffed with cloth, and most of them have trouble walking. I chuckle to myself, and Mita smiles at me.
“Beautiful, yes?”
“So much red,” I say, thinking of Silvia’s bedsores. I suddenly have to fight back tears. “I want a brighter color.”
“But red is traditional,” Mita says, “and auspicious, as well. Look at this silk. It came from the Isle of Chin—”
I cut her off with a growl. “No red. This marriage will be different. Brighter. I want green. Let me look at that.”
I point to a meek girl in her early teens. Her arms are shaking from the weight of the cloth.
“Those are intended for the wedding party, my king. For the bride’s maidens.”
“I don’t care what you intended,” I say, pulling on the fabric I want. It’s a brilliant emerald green, edged in gold.
The servant girl gives a small squeak. The entire pile of fabrics in her arms tumbles at my feet. But I ignore it and hold up the green silk.
“This for the bride. It’s perfect.”
Mita is quietly scolding the girl, gesturing to her to pick up the fabrics before they get dirty.
“My king,” she says, “may I have a word in private?”
I shrug and go back up the stairs. I disappear into the back chambers, and I turn around carefully. It takes me a bit. That infernal tea is messing with my head.
Mita hurries into the room and closes the door. “Jagir, are you well?”
I rub my forehead. “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to those who know you well,” she says diplomatically, guiding me to a chair. She kneels at my feet. “Shall I pick the fabric?”
“I want the green,” I say stubbornly. For some reason, this has become very important to
me.
She grabs my hand and rubs her thumb along my knuckles. “Then you shall have it. I hope the poor girl approves.”
“Use the green for Kai, too,” I say. “I don’t want to see them in red, Mita. It’s my last wish.”
“Your last?” she says, raising an eyebrow.
I hedge. “Well, you know…Kai’s growing up. It may be the last decision I can make for him.”
Mita moves her hand to my thigh. “Is there anything I can do to make this better? Is Silvia…around?”
I gulp, and the bulge in my trousers stirs. I’m not sure it will do much more than that, though, with the drugs in my system.
“Silvia’s not around. No.”
“Good.” Mita smiles at me and stands. She pulls on my arm and gets me to my feet. “We haven’t done this in ages,” she says. “Not since…how old was Kai? Ten? I never thought I’d see your magnificent body again.”
I laugh, and then I sober. My body is hardly the magnificent thing it was when Mita and I last…when she was last my mistress and Kai walked in on us.
We walk through the halls to my private chambers. Mita drops my hand when a servant rounds the corner.
“Did Silvia like the orange sari I made?” she asks.
I grunt. That sari is hanging beside the other thousand garments I’ve had commissioned for Silvia over the last fifteen cycles. “I’m sure she did. Let’s not talk about Silvia.”
“Of course,” she says.
We enter my bedchamber, and I dismiss my servants.
My head throbs, this time with guilt.
“Mita, I may be…I’m a little out of practice.”
She raises an eyebrow at me.
“And I’ve taken some herbs…for my gout. They’ve made my head a little fuzzy.”
She smiles. “I understand perfectly.”
She releases the purple sari from her body with one good twist of her practiced fingers. It slides to the floor, and Mita is nude.
I lick my lips.
She kneels at my feet and pulls my trousers down.
She smiles up at me and licks her lips.
XXXVIII. SAPHALA
Manoj rows as close to the beach as he can get, then steps out of the boat and tows us to shore. He holds the boat steady as I stand.
My legs barely hold me up.
“Steady, my lady,” Faaris says. He hoists me into his arms as though I am a child and carries me to the sand. The sun is beginning to peek out over the horizon, and I can finally see his face clearly. He’s breathtaking.
He sets me down gently and keeps me upright with an arm about my waist. “Can you walk?” he asks.
I nod. “Just have to get the blood flowing. I’m a bit stiff.”
Faaris opens his mouth to speak, but Manoj pops him on the arm. Faaris chuckles. I have no idea why.
“It’s a short walk to your home now,” Manoj says. “Your parents must be eager to see you.”
There’s no way I’m going home. Not to the stinking fish hut when Faaris the brave and Manoj the clever are standing right in front of me.
“I…I can’t go home. No, please, don’t make me go home!” I force my body to shake.
“Why do you not want to go home? You’re safe. The kidnappers are gone.”
“Not kidnappers,” I say, thinking fast. “Slavers. My father sold me to them. Please! Don’t make me return to that horrid man!”
Manoj and Faaris exchange a glance. “Your father sold you into slavery?” Manoj asks.
I nod. “He was in debt, I was pretty, and he thought me useless. I cannot blame him, I mean, he had no choice.”
“Of course he had a choice!” Manoj says, indignant on my behalf.
“We were so poor,” I say, “you cannot imagine. I went without a fight. If it meant having bread on the table for my family…how could I not go?” I start to slide to the ground.
Faaris keeps hold of me, though. He lifts me into his arms again, staring at me with concern. “Do not fear, Saphala. We will not return you to the slavers’ den. We will find another way.”
“There is no other way,” I say mournfully. “I’ve been gone for six cycles. No one remembers me, surely. I have no one else to care for me.”
Faaris and Manoj begin to walk up the sand. “You have Nilaruna,” Faaris says. “And now you have us. We will see that you are safe and cared for. Nilaruna will be the princess, and she will be eager to have a friend in the palace. Would you like that?”
I gasp. “You mean, you would take me to the palace, in Indrapur?”
“Yes.”
I grip the edges of his tunic and bury my face in his chest. Tears burn my eyes, for real. “Oh, Faaris, my lord, thank you for rescuing me. Thank you. I am truly blessed.”
Sobs wrack my body, and I cry a flood of tears.
Faaris nuzzles my head with his chin. “It will be alright,” he says. “You’re safe now. No harm will come to you.”
I force myself not to laugh.
XXXIX. PRINCE KAI
Nili is limping heavily by the time we enter town, but she doesn’t slow. She forces herself to keep up with me, and my respect for her grows.
“What exactly is causing the pain in your leg?” I ask her.
“It’s mostly the muscle,” she says. “I lost half the muscle in my thigh and most of the muscle in my calf in the fire. They had to cut the damaged tissue away. The muscle that’s left tires quickly and cramps easily.”
“You said mostly. What’s the other part?”
“The scar tissue. My skin is stretched beyond its limits. I don’t have free movement of my leg, and the stretching hurts when I move at all.”
“And yet you’ve climbed a mountain,” I say. “Several times.”
“I’ve slowed you down,” she says.
I stop walking. “Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?”
“Put yourself down when I give you a compliment,” I say.
“I do that?” she says, genuinely surprised.
I nod, and we resume our walk.
“I know the insults are coming,” she says. “I think it’s just easier for me to voice them myself, rather than to hear others speak them. Remind me, will you? If I do it again, remind me to stop.”
I smile at her. “Are you asking me to be good for you?”
She smiles back. “I guess I am.”
***
I get Nili settled in the room next to ours, and I pay the innkeeper to bring us both a meal and a hot bath.
We choose to bathe first, and then I join Nili in her room for our meal of vegetable stew, spiced cakes with honey, and candied figs. It’s not fancy, but it’s hearty and filling.
“I hate figs,” Nili says, spooning them off her plate and onto mine without asking me.
“Any particular reason?” I ask her. Her face is twisted in such disgust that she must dislike them for more than just the taste.
“We have a fig tree outside our home,” she says.
“And?”
She looks at me blankly.
“And so you were forced to eat them all the time as a child?” I guess.
“They were always thrown at me,” she says. “Every time I stepped out of the house. And instead of collecting them and eating them, if they hit me, my father made me throw them away.”
I clench my fists.
I carry my plate to the window and pull back the curtain. “No figs,” I say. And I toss one to the road below.
Nili giggles, and I hold the plate out to her.
She joins me at the window and looks out. “Do you think I can hit them?” she asks.
I look at the two men she’s pointing at, chatting together across the road. “Do you know them?”
“Merchants. Importers, actually. The tall one had an eye infection last year and refused to pay Father after learning I was at home while he was being treated.”
I hand her a fig. “Fire away, my lady.”
Nili grins, cocks back her arm, and
throws the fig. It bounces off the man’s forehead with a crack. Candied figs are rather hard.
Both men cry out and look up at us. We duck down beneath the window sill, both of us in stitches.
“Thank you,” Nili whispers to me. “That was immensely satisfying.”
I smile at her. She’s still laughing.
I reach out slowly and brush a lock of hair from her face.
Nili freezes.
I let my fingers linger, gliding them softly down her cheek.
She’s still frozen.
I lean into her. I give her plenty of time to pull away.
But she doesn’t.
I place a tender kiss upon her lips.
And Nili responds, just a bit. Her lips mold to mine, just as tenderly.
“Not yet,” she says against my mouth. But she doesn’t move back. “I’m with you, but it’s too soon.”
I nod.
I climb to my feet and pull her up beside me. Nili leans into me, resting her head on my shoulder.
“That was fun,” she says.
I rest my head atop hers. “It was. You’re quite good at mischief.”
“I’m hoping it will be an asset when we run into the assassins.”
I turn and take Nili in my arms. After a good long hug, I kiss the top of her head.
“On that note, I need to visit the temple. Is there anything I should know?”
She explains to me the night she left Maja and stole away to the village, how she saw the high priest and his apprentice Larraj, to whom her father has betrothed her.
“Wait,” I say. “Go back. You were betrothed to another man?”
“He’s just a boy of ten,” she says. “I can’t marry him.”
I rub my temples. “This is getting more complicated by the minute. So I have to break your engagement.”
“Unless the high priest has spoken to my father already. I don’t know if the high priest actually visited as he said he would.”
“And you say they were looking for you in the middle of the night, but you didn’t get a sense of why?”
Nili shakes her head. “I don’t have any concrete evidence that the high priest is crooked. I just know something is amiss. Don’t trust him.”
