The Go-Between

by Andrea Ring

  “Unavoidable and dangerous,” I say, taking another sip of wine. “It might be, shall we say, hazardous to your health, should you find yourself on the wrong side of the political fence.”

  “I’m here, aren’t I?”

  I take her elbow none too gently and steer her to a seat at the other end of the table. I sit next to her.

  “Your hands look like they pain you,” I say. “It must be difficult holding a needle and thread.”

  She holds her hands out and stares at them. “The healer calls it arthritis, a swelling of the joints. I’m not as young as I once was.”

  “Then how do you sew?”

  Mita smiles. “Talent.”

  LI. NILARUNA

  I spend the evening mostly in conversation with King Jagir. He is not an easy man, but he’s an interesting and intelligent one. Whatever medicines he took had quite an effect on him. I alternately had to remind him to lower his voice and keep him from falling asleep.

  He certainly didn’t take any medicine for gout — he was on something far stronger. Something that relaxed the muscles and dulled the pain to the point of making him incoherent at times.

  I leaned in close and spent time sniffing him while he talked. I did not smell alcohol or recreational narcotics. And his healer spent the evening standing in the room.

  King Jagir is severely ill.

  I believe Mita suspects this as well.

  Kai, though, has no idea.

  The king falls asleep during our dessert course, his head tilted back, mouth open, his snores echoing through the dining hall. Before Kai or I can react, several servants appear and carry him from the table.

  “Poor man,” Mita says, watching him go. “His gout has become quite debilitating.”

  “Has he had it long?” I ask.

  “A few moons, as far as I know,” she says. “Kai?”

  “Oh, yes, uh, no…I didn’t even know he had gout. He’s not one to complain.”

  “Shall we call it a night,” Mita says, “or would you like to discuss the wedding?”

  I look at Kai. “Whatever you will, my prince.”

  Kai smiles at me. “Let’s not make it too long. Nilaruna should get to bed soon. But are there any questions we can answer for you?”

  “Most of the decisions have been made,” she says, “but maybe Nilaruna could visit my chambers in the next few days and see what we’ve done so far. Just in case there are changes you’d like to make.”

  I nod at her. I do not care about the wedding at all. Thank heavens it is mostly done.

  “Will your family be arriving soon?”

  “My family?” I say. “Oh, no, they won’t be able to make it.”

  “What a shame,” she says. “How about attendants? Who will be standing with you?”

  “No one,” I say. “I don’t know anyone in Indrapur…though I do have one friend here, now. I suppose she can stand with us.”

  “And I have Faaris and Manoj,” Kai says.

  “Who will be escorting you down the aisle?” Mita asks.

  “The king,” I say. They both gape at me. “We discussed it. He offered. Since my father can’t be here, King Jagir is the perfect substitute.”

  “That’s wonderful!” Mita says. “This will be a wedding for the ages! Unconventional, yet intimate, with the king in a central role…no one would dare miss it!”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “I mean the entire city will turn out for the wedding. Pity that people can’t make it from other provinces, but…Prince Kai, perhaps you can convince your father to lift the ban on incoming ships.”

  “Wait,” I say. “The entire city…do you literally mean the entire city will be at our wedding?”

  “Of course, my lady. Royal weddings take place in the stadium. Every eye will be on the beautiful bride. Which reminds me…is it possible to see your face? The king has requested a certain shade of green for your gown, and I want to make sure the hue goes with your eyes and hair.”

  I’m still thinking about thousands of eyes on me. “I don’t think you want to see—”

  But Kai cuts me off. “Nili, show her. You have nothing to be ashamed of. You’re beautiful.”

  I don’t move, and Kai puts a hand on my cheek. “May I?”

  I nod.

  He slowly pulls the veil down.

  “Your eyes,” Mita says on a long breath. “Other-worldly! Are you sure you’ve never met the king before tonight? He picked the perfect shade of green to match your eyes.”

  “He got lucky, I guess,” I say.

  “And your hair…so dark and long and thick. Oh, the things we can do to it! We can braid gold thread through it, or weave flowers, or you can leave it long with a gold clip at your crown—”

  “Let me think about it, Mita,” I say. “I’m sorry, but I think I’ve hit my limit. I should get to bed.”

  “Of course, of course,” she says. “Just send me a message when you’d like to come by, and we’ll work out all the details.”

  I put the veil back on my head. Kai stands and pulls me up beside him. Mita follows.

  She bows low. “My prince and future princess. What an evening! I’m more excited than ever to be a part of this union.”

  We bow back and say our goodbyes.

  I wish I were as excited as Mita.

  ***

  I enter my chambers, and Kai stands in the doorway, fidgeting.

  “I need to change, Kai,” I say.

  “There is a servant waiting to help you,” he says. “Through that door.”

  I turn to go, but Kai doesn’t move. “Is there something else you need?” I ask him.

  “May I stay to tuck you in?”

  I smile at him and nod.

  Ten minutes later I’m dressed in pink satin night clothes and a rabbit skin robe. I was even given fur-lined stockings to keep my toes warm.

  Zara follows me out of my dressing room. “Would you like me to light your fire, my lady?” she asks. “I’m sorry I didn’t do it earlier. I wasn’t sure…”

  I understand. She wasn’t sure I wanted to be close to a fire.

  “I’m fine, Zara. Thank you so much for your help.”

  “Then I will retire, unless you need somewhat else.”

  “No, you’ve given me everything I need. You may go,” I say.

  She bows and pads to the far end of the room, where a pallet I hadn’t noticed is made up on the floor. She lies down upon it.

  “She’s sleeping there?” I ask Kai. “In the room?”

  “She’s your personal attendant. She can’t do much attending if she’s not here.”

  “I can’t sleep with someone else in the room,” I whisper. “With everything going on, do you think that’s a good idea?”

  “My father trusts her implicitly,” he says. “She’s worked for him most of her life. There’s nothing to fear.”

  “I’m sorry, but no,” I say. “I know I’m being difficult, but I don’t care. Does she have somewhere else to go?”

  Kai nods and leans in close. “Would you like me to tell her, or would you like to do it?”

  “Zara,” I say, and she quickly jumps up and comes over. “I’m sorry to do this to you, but I like my privacy at night. You do not need to sleep here.”

  Zara looks at Kai, who nods.

  “And nothing untoward is going on between me and the prince. He will be leaving shortly. Please don’t spread any rumors, because they would be untrue.”

  “Of course, my lady,” she says. “Your guard, Himmat, is outside your door. Should you need me, he will send for me.”

  I clasp her hands in mine. “Get a good night’s rest. Go pilfer a sweet cake from your mother in the kitchens. Know that I won’t need you again until morning.”

  “Dawn, my lady?” she asks.

  My hip aches. “Better make it a couple hours past dawn.”

  LII. PRINCE KAI

  I tuck Nili in as I promised I would, then I grab a lounging cushion from the
pile in the middle of her room and place it next to the head of the bed. I sit and lean back on the wall beside her.

  “You had quite a rapport with my father,” I say. “He’s never taken to anyone that fast.”

  “He and I don’t have a lot of time left,” Nili says. “It puts things in perspective. Neither of us has time to talk about the weather or the state of the roads.”

  I don’t want to think about that.

  “You and Mita had a lot to talk about,” she says.

  “Indeed,” I say. “She’s using magic.”

  “What?”

  “And she knows about you and Maja.”

  “How?” Nili says. “How could she know? Manoj and Faaris wouldn’t talk, would they?”

  “No,” I say. “I trust them. There are two possibilities. One, Mita has acquaintances in Dabani, and they’ve been more attentive to events than we’ve realized. Or, two, she learned it from my father.”

  “I know your father has been planning the wedding, but would he reveal intimacies to the palace seamstress?”

  “Mita and my father were close once,” I tell her. “She was my father’s mistress when I was a child, though he dismissed her when I caught them together. That was right after my mother’s accident. I didn’t think they were still acquainted, at least not in the same way, but perhaps the wedding plans have renewed their…interest in one another.”

  “How do you know she’s doing magic? Would your father allow it?”

  “I do not think my father knows, but that’s a conversation I intend to have with him. I noticed her hands. Did you?”

  “No. What’s wrong with them?”

  “Arthritis. She could barely hold her goblet. I asked her how she used a needle and thread, and she said, ‘Talent.’”

  “Wow,” Nili says. “So she could be a part of the revolution. She’s perfectly placed and has the king’s ear…we have to keep an eye on her. With your father’s pain, I’m not sure he’s in the proper frame of mind to act on this.”

  “I’m sorry about his behavior,” I say. “I’m going to have a talk with his healer. There’s no reason he should have given him so much of that medicine. Thank heavens it was a private party. My father would be mortified if more people had seen him.”

  Nili gets a strange look on her face. “I understand how medicines can affect people,” she says. “It didn’t bother me in the least. He’s a wonderful man.”

  I bark a laugh. “My father has been called many things, but wonderful is not one of them.”

  Nili turns on her side and looks down at me. “Has he not been a good father?”

  “He’s been a just ruler, and I believe he’s prepared me for the crown. I think I’m a decent human being. So, yes, I think he’s been a good father.”

  “But not wonderful?”

  “Wonderful,” I say. “What does that even mean? It’s a word you use to describe a beautiful painting, or a sunrise, or a pleasant performance at the theater.”

  “I don’t know,” she says. “I’ve known some wonderful people.”

  “Like Maja,” I say, trying to keep the bitterness out of my voice.

  Nili nods. “And you.”

  I don’t know what to say to that.

  “You chose me, an untouchable, an unsightly creature, when you could have chosen anyone. But let’s say you did it to save your own skin, which isn’t necessarily an evil motivation, and anyway, you were completely honest with me. You gave me a choice.

  “But you could have also picked me and then passed me off to servants. There’s no good reason for you to be here right now. There’s no reason for you to get to know me, especially if I’m going to die soon. You stitched my wound. You rushed me to the healer when I had a fever. You helped rescue Saphala. I think you are quite…wonderful.”

  Something warm spreads in my belly. “Thank you, Nili. Your opinion of me, and especially the trust you’ve placed in me, is an extraordinary thing. I could very well be doing all these things with an ulterior motive.”

  “Are you?” she asks.

  I shift against the wall. “A ruler is in a difficult position, because he has to look at the big picture. I have to juggle hundreds of things — what’s best for the kingdom, what’s best for its citizens, how a decision will affect caste relations, and so on. It never ends. And often, what’s best for one might not be best for another. Someone wins, but someone else loses.

  “And all that sounds like I’m saying that I made a choice where the kingdom wins, and Nilaruna Nandal loses. Where stability reigns, but I have to marry an untouchable. But you know what’s wonderful? I got to know a woman named Nilaruna Nandal. I’m betrothed to that woman. I don’t know where the rest of this journey will take us, but for now, I get it all. I get to save the kingdom, and I get to know a woman I’m in awe of, and I even get to tuck her in at night.”

  “Kai,” she says.

  “I’m not done.” I stand and sit on the edge of her bed. I take her hands in mine. “I will not marry you, Nili.”

  “What?”

  I rub my thumb over the ridged skin of her left hand. “I care about you too much. I won’t risk you.”

  “But Kai—”

  “No,” I say. “I’ve already decided. I will find a girl so evil she deserves to die, just as Shiva suggested.”

  Nili closes her eyes. “Is there nothing I can say?” she asks.

  “You can say you will be my mistress.”

  Nili’s eyes pop open. “Your mistress?”

  I nod. “That’s actually a horrible word, quite the opposite of wonderful. Let’s call you consort.”

  “Consort? Kai, you don’t have to. I’ll return to Dabani, or I’ll stay and help you figure out what the untouchables are doing, but you don’t have to—”

  “I want to,” I say. “I want you by my side. If I could ask you to marry me now, for real, I would. Maybe…maybe next cycle.”

  “You want to marry me for real?” she says. “Why?”

  I shake her hands. “You’re going to make me say it? Because all I can think about is you. All I want to do is sit by your side and listen to you speak. Because you would be the best queen for Jatani, and the best wife for me.”

  “Manoj said you vowed never to take a mistress,” she says, completely ignoring the fact that I just opened my chest, and tore out my heart, and handed it to her on a gold platter.

  “I must remind him to never speak to you again.”

  Nili cracks a smile at that, but just barely.

  “You honor me, my prince,” she says.

  “My name’s Kai,” I say. “Didn’t we already have this conversation? Do not get formal on me now, my lady.”

  “I need to think on it,” she says. “I do not wish to say the wrong thing, or make a hasty decision. Can we speak tomorrow?”

  I rise from the bed, struggling to hide my disappointment. “As you wish.”

  LIII. NILARUNA

  Part of me is soaring, and part of me is plummeting to the depths of hell.

  I can admit it — I like Kai. More than I should. This was a political arrangement, and it’s turned into a matter of the heart.

  Maja, where are you? I think, and then I curse myself.

  Maja left me.

  I still love him, but what good can be gained from him answering me now? I cannot ask him for advice — that would only be cruel. I cannot ask him to take me back — he won’t. And he has duties much more important than deciding the course of my life.

  Oh, Maja, if only you could whisk me away in your talons to a magical isle where we could live in peace and not have to decide the fate of a kingdom!

  That’s twice now, I’ve called him twice.

  Maja is not coming.

  But there is Kai.

  Someone knocks on my door.

  I rise and slip on my robe. “Yes?” I say through the door.

  “My lady, you have a visitor. I know it is late, so if you’d rather not be disturbed—”

 
“Who is it?”

  “Manoj, my lady.”

  I step back from the door. “Let him enter.”

  Manoj opens the door and peeks his head in. “My lady?”

  “Oh, Manoj, it’s so good to see you,” I say. “Come in.”

  Himmat follows Manoj in, but I wave him off. “We’re fine. You may stand outside the door.”

  “That would be improper, my lady,” he says.

  “Then I’m sorry for being improper, but you will still remain outside.”

  Himmat looks like he wants to argue, but he nods and closes the door behind him.

  “You’re settling in nicely to your new role,” Manoj says with a grin.

  I laugh. “I’m not used to all these people being around all the time. How do you ever have a private conversation?”

  Manoj takes my hands and kisses both my cheeks. “How are you feeling? I would have visited sooner, but Kai wouldn’t let anyone disturb you.”

  “I’m well,” I say. “Still working out the kinks, but I’m well.”

  “Everything stiffened up on you, did it?”

  “You have no idea. So, to what do I owe this visit?”

  Manoj frowns. “Have a seat and get off that leg. There. I just…Kai just told me of his decision, and I wanted to see if you’re alright.” He squats down at my feet.

  “I serve at the royal whim,” I say. Then I laugh. “That sounded bitter.”

  “No one would blame you for feeling that way,” he says. “You gave up your entire life to come here.”

  “You’re the political one around here,” I say. “What do you think? Is he doing the right thing?”

  “By you, yes. By the kingdom? If you become his consort and everything works out as Shiva has predicted, I see no downside. You live, Kai lives, everyone lives happily ever after.”

  “I didn’t think you were the type to believe in fairytales,” I say.

  He smiles. “Normally, I’m not. But Kai has had very little for himself. He always has to do his duty. He’s finally choosing something for himself, and he’s lucky, because that choice is also good for the kingdom.”

  “And if I say no?”