My One and Only Cowboy

by A. J. Pine

  There were days when she’d walk down the street, see a guy ahead of her and think for a split second that it was Brody Dawson—that he’d come to take her home. Then there were all the nights that she dreamed about him and woke up with a wet pillow from crying. Oh, yes, she could certainly feel what Kasey was saying.

  Lila threw the burger together, shook the fries from the basket, and put them into two separate baskets. “You said lemonade, right?”

  “I got my own and refilled your tea glass. Hope that’s all right,” Kasey said.

  Lila sat down at a table and propped her feet on an empty chair. “Ever want a second job, I’ll hire you as a waitress.”

  “Don’t think I can fit another job into my schedule. Thank you for doing this. Other than church dinners, I can’t remember the last time I sat down by myself and had a burger,” Kasey said. “Can I ask you a personal question?”

  “Shoot,” Lila said.

  “What was it like when you moved away?”

  Lila swallowed hard. Putting emotions into mere words was near impossible. She’d left part of her heart behind in Happy, Texas, and found out that it was impossible to get it back anywhere else.

  “Different,” Lila finally whispered. “And a little intimidating. I knew who I was in Happy but…” She paused. “It’s hard to explain. No one knew me or anything about Happy, Texas. I was just another waitress in my aunt and mama’s café and then I was just another student at the college. I felt like a real fish out of water until I reinvented myself.”

  “I know exactly what you mean.” Kasey tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear. “I became a different person. I was an army wife, not Brody and Jace’s kid sister. I had responsibilities even before I had a family. New friends with the same lifestyle I had and we all stuck together when our guys were out on a mission. We worried together, shopped together, babysat each other’s kids, and then Adam was gone and I had to start adjusting to something different again. I’m sorry for unloading on you like this.”

  Lila reached across the booth and patted Kasey on the shoulder. “Don’t be. I can so relate to what you’re saying. I didn’t lose a husband but when I got to a different state I was a new person. It took me a while to know that girl. I felt like a shell, a walking, talking person who smiled and did what she was supposed to but had no heart.”

  “And now we are back and we are the same as when we left. You’re in this café and I’m living on a ranch with my brothers. It’s like there’s two women fighting inside me and I’m not sure which one I want to win,” Kasey said.

  Lila couldn’t have stated it any better than Kasey did. That’s exactly what she was fighting against these days. The two attitudes inside her were so very different. But when it all burned down to ashes, it was actually kind of simple. One had a beating heart in her chest and the other one was a walking, talking shell.

  “One is the wild child and the other is a responsible schoolteacher,” Lila said softly.

  “You got it. Only with me, one is still an army wife who organizes lawn picnics and car pools and then there’s this kid sister who’s trying to be as smart and as tough as her two older brothers. Which one will conquer?”

  “You ever hear the story of the old rancher and the coyote?”

  Kasey shook her head.

  “Coyote had ribs showing and was plainly starving, so the old rancher tossed out some scraps for the poor thing. Coyote came back the next night and the next and the rancher didn’t want him there because it was time for spring calves to be born and coyotes can’t be trusted. So he asked a friend what he should do.”

  “And?” Kasey squirted ketchup on her fries.

  “Friend said, ‘Stop feeding him if you don’t want him around.’ I expect it’s the same with us. With me, if I want to be the respectable schoolteacher, I have to stop feeding the desire to be the wild child.”

  “But what if we want to be both? I love the ranch and living around family but I’m tired of them all bossing me around like I’m still a teenager,” Kasey said.

  Lila frowned. “Is that possible?”

  “Don’t know but I intend to find out. And it’ll take some severe putting my foot down with my brothers and my mother,” Kasey said.

  Was it possible to pick what she wanted from both personalities? She was mentally making a list of what she’d keep and what she’d trash when she realized that Kasey was staring at her.

  “Sorry, I got lost in my thoughts,” Lila said. “Will you let me know how that turns out?”

  “You bet. I owe you that for keeping the café open and cooking for me.” Kasey nodded. “I admired you so much when you were in high school. Lord, I wanted to grow up and be just like you.”

  “Really?”

  “Oh, yeah. You had it together.”

  “Oh, honey, I didn’t have jack squat together.” Lila shook her head. “Still don’t.”

  Someone in Happy had believed in her after all. Kasey might have been five years younger, but knowing how Kasey felt put something indescribable into Lila’s heart.

  Kasey stuck her fingers in her ears in a dramatic gesture. “Don’t ruin my memory. Let me keep it.”

  “Sure thing.” Lila smiled.

  The fingers came out and Kasey finished off her burger. “This has really been the best part of my day. Most of my friends left Happy. Let’s be honest, if you’re not a rancher or, in your case, own a café, there’s not much here to come back to. It’s nice to sit and talk to someone who knows the way things are, and yet…”

  Lila took Kasey’s glass to the fountain for a refill. “And yet what?”

  “It’s more of a feeling than it is something that can be put into words. I guess I just need to stop overthinking things and stop feeding that particular coyote. Can you put that in a to-go cup? I’ve got to get to the church or Mother will start calling every thirty seconds. And tally up how much I owe you.”

  “It’s on the house. We’ll call it payment for a therapy session,” Lila said.

  “Thank you,” Kasey said. “Sometime we’ll have to take a swim in Hope Springs and call it a spa day.”

  Lila handed her the cup and followed her to the door. “I’d like that.”

  Kasey stopped at the door and turned around. “You’re welcome anytime on the ranch, Lila. Come have a glass of tea with me or, better yet, we’ll have a cold beer.”

  “That is so sweet. I might do that sometime.” She flipped the sign around from OPEN to CLOSED, locked up, and turned off the lights. She had an invitation to Hope Springs without breaking the law by jumping the fence where a NO TRESPASSING sign was posted.

  She crossed the kitchen and went through the storage room into her apartment. The kittens were playing a cat game of hide and scare each other around the coffee table. She removed her shoes and stretched out on the sofa. The conversation with Kasey had been both wonderful and yet strange at the same time. She was Brody’s sister and the two people inside of her were different than Lila’s two but the feelings were the same.

  “Kind of like y’all are as different as night and day,” she muttered at the cats. “Black and white and yet both of you are still kittens.”

  Would this summer be the turning point in her life? The meeting point of that wild girl and the responsible one? She stared at her surroundings and got to her feet. Pacing from the living room, through the kitchen, and back down the hall, she tried to get a handle on all the emotions.

  She grabbed a long-sleeved chambray shirt on her way past her bedroom and in a few minutes she was roaring out of town on her motorcycle. She turned to the east at the first opportunity and had gone only part of a mile when she saw a white truck in her rearview. It got closer and closer and then started to pass her before she realized that it was Brody. When he was right beside her, she flipped up the face shield and winked at him. Then she sped out ahead of him.

  He stayed right behind her all the way to the T in the road, where there was a stop sign. She turned on the left b
linker. The highway would take her right down into the Palo Duro Canyon and then up on the other side not far from Claude. From there she’d ride to Amarillo and then south to Happy.

  Brody didn’t stop at the sign but pulled right out in front of her and skidded to a stop. He jumped out of the truck and swaggered back to where she’d stopped. “You weren’t kiddin’ about havin’ a bike. That’s a pretty piece of machinery. But…”

  “But what?” She jerked her helmet off and shook out her black hair.

  He took two steps forward, bookcased her cheeks with his calloused hands, and then his lips were on hers in a hungry, fierce kiss. She dropped her helmet on the ground and wrapped her arms around his neck. His tongue teased its way past her lips to make love to her mouth. The sun’s heat was nothing to the fire in the kiss that came close to melting the paint off his white truck as well as the stop sign.

  He took a step back and she almost fell off the bike before she could catch her breath. “I missed you, Lila.”

  “You missed the wild Lila. You barely know the responsible Lila.” She picked her helmet from the ground and slapped it back on her head. “Now if you’ll get out of my way, I’m going to Amarillo.”

  “Good God! Not down the canyon? You could get killed on those turns and curves.”

  “If I do, your mama will dance a jig on the church altar. You want to go with me?” She patted the seat behind her.

  “No, thank you.”

  “I watched you ride that mean bull, so I know there’s some daredevil left in you. I guess you’re too macho to ride behind a woman. I suppose you could ride on the handlebars.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not sixteen anymore.”

  “Too bad,” she said as she took off in a blur around the truck. She glanced in the rearview mirror to see him slap his thigh with his hat.

  Brody got back into his truck and gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his hands ached. That woman had always twisted his insides in knots and time had done nothing to change that. He turned the truck around and drove toward the ranch. He felt like he’d been doing that for years—leaving her and going to the ranch. It didn’t feel right but he had no idea how to fix it.

  Not even the kids chasing lightning bugs out in the yard put a smile on his face when he parked next to the yard fence, got out, and slammed the truck door. He stomped toward the porch where Jace and Kasey were sitting and went straight into the house without a word. Getting out the bottle of Jack Daniel’s from the cabinet, he set his mouth in a firm line, and poured a double shot in a water glass.

  Kasey followed right behind him. “What’s got your britches in a twist? You don’t get that bottle down unless you’re mad, sad, or a mixture of both.”

  He took a sip, letting the smoky flavor sit on his tongue a second before the warmth shot down his throat. It didn’t replace or erase Lila’s kisses. “Nothing that you’d understand.”

  “We might understand if you’d explain. Use your words, brother. What’s her name? Lila Harris?” Jace joined them with the three kids trailing right behind him.

  “Is Lila comin’ to see me?” Emma crawled into a kitchen chair. “I want cake and milk.”

  “You’ve had enough sweets for one evening. Peanut butter sandwiches are what y’all are havin’ for night snacks,” Kasey said. “I saw Lila this evening. She kept the café open late and made me a burger and fries. We had a wonderful visit.”

  Brody tossed back the rest of the shot. “What did you talk about?”

  “Your name didn’t come up, believe me.” Kasey put the bottle back in the cabinet. “We talked girl stuff that guys aren’t interested in.”

  Brody settled Silas into his high chair, then helped Emma get into her booster seat.

  Jace headed toward the counter to help make sandwiches. “So, am I right? Lila?”

  Brody shrugged. “I’m going for a walk to clear my head.”

  “If you find Lila, can she read me a bedtime story?” Emma asked.

  “Girls!” Rustin rolled his eyes.

  “Boys!” Emma huffed.

  He could hear Jace’s laughter all the way out into the yard but it did not lighten his mood one bit. With no place in mind, his long strides and anger soon took him toward Hope Springs. The sound of bubbling water calmed him before he ever sat down under the drooping branches of a weeping willow tree.

  A splash out there in the water took his attention slightly upstream from where he was sitting. There was no doubt that it was Lila even if her back was toward him. Moonlight lit her up, showing jet-black hair flowing over white skin, water rippling around her in big, wide circles.

  He blinked twice and then a third time but every time he opened his eyes, she was still there. Then a flicker of white caught his eyes and he realized he was looking at a T-shirt lying not four feet from him. Thrown beside it were jeans and shoes, along with a white bra and a skimpy pair of underpants.

  He stretched out his long legs, crossed them at the ankles, and drank in his fill of her. The water covered most of her body, but he didn’t need to see her to know what she looked like or even how she’d feel in his arms if he were out there below the rocky water falls with her. Those things had been burned into his mind for years and years.

  She finally turned around and sank down farther into the water. “What are you doin’ here?”

  “Hot night brought on thoughts of cool water,” he answered. “I would’ve brought a bottle of Jack Daniel’s if I’d known you were here.”

  “How long have you been there?”

  “Long enough to know that you’re skinny-dippin’. I thought you were going to the canyon.”

  “Changed my mind.” She moved to the shallow edge and hurriedly sat down so that she was still covered.

  He kicked off his boots and tossed his plaid shirt and white T-shirt over with her clothing before he waded out toward her.

  “What changed your mind?” He gasped when the water reached his knees.

  “Needed cooling off after that kiss.” Lila never beat around the bush or played games. She dealt in black and white, not shades of gray.

  “Well, this will for sure cool a person off.” He sat down beside her in the shallow edge and quickly ducked his whole body under the water. “I haven’t done this since…”

  “Since when?” she asked.

  Use your words, Jace had said, but when it came to Lila there were no words. Only raw emotions and hot passion, both of which were the lifeline to his heart.

  “I think you remember as well as I do. After all, you have the memory of an elephant, right?” With very little motion, he was glued to her side. “I’m just now realizing it was our body heat that kept us from freezing to death.”

  “Why, Brody Dawson, have you gotten too old for sex in cold water?”

  “Probably, but five minutes under that willow tree would cure the problem in a hurry,” he answered.

  “If that willow tree could talk, it could tell some tales, but we can’t go back,” she said. “And even if we could, I’m not sure I want to.”

  “No, but we can go forward,” Brody told her.

  “I’m not so sure that’s a good idea, either,” she said. “There would always be the shadow of the past hovering nearby.”

  He moved his foot slowly down the side of her leg. “That might make for an interesting relationship.”

  She moved her leg away from him. “What brought you out here anyway?”

  “Thinkin’ about you and worryin’ that you’d get hurt in the canyon. When you left that summer, I’d sit under the willow tree and imagine you like this in the water on hot evenings. I’d go to Henry’s barn in the wintertime and wrap up in that old quilt we liked.”

  “Oh!” she gasped.

  “What?”

  “I’m going to name my white cat Cora. It just came to me when you said something about that old quilt.”

  He’d been baring his soul to her. Using his words. And she was thinking about namin
g a stupid cat? What was wrong with this picture?

  “That’s a definite change of subject. And what’s this about cats?”

  “I got two from Henry’s old barn. I’m naming the white one Cora from that old movie we saw. Quigley Down Under. Remember Crazy Cora?”

  Suddenly it all made sense. They’d snuck into Henry’s house one time, just the two of them, and put the old movie into the DVD player. She’d wrapped a quilt that had been draped on the back of a rocking chair around both of them. He’d wanted to have sex right there on the sofa but she wouldn’t. Said it wasn’t right. Borrowing his house to watch a movie and his quilt to stay warm was one thing and a few kisses were okay, but nothing past that.

  “The black one is Duke,” she said.

  “For John Wayne?”

  “No, for the character in The Notebook. Did you ever see that one?”

  “Only movie that ever made me cry,” he said.

  “I didn’t know that tough cowboys ever cried.” She stretched.

  He sucked in air when part of her breasts showed in the moonlight. Even though the water was cold, he was getting hard. “I believe that Hope Springs might be the fountain of youth. Looking at you in this light—God, Lila, I want you so bad but I want more than a fling.”

  She leaned over and cupped his chin in her hands. “I’m not even going to answer that, Brody. It’s getting late. I should be going. Shut your eyes.”

  “I’ve seen you naked, Lila. I’m sitting close enough that I can feel a lot of your bare skin right now.” He covered her hand with his and brought it to his lips to kiss each knuckle.

  “Tonight you’re going to shut your eyes and promise me that you won’t open them until I tell you that I’m dressed,” she said.

  “Whatever you say,” he said. “Can I have a good night kiss?”