The Way You Love Me

by Donna Hill

  Justin closed his eyes. Walking away wasn’t in the plan.

  * * *

  Bailey hurried through the main level of the Mercury Lounge and went straight to her office. Since the one-on-one between Vincent and Justin, Vincent had remained on the perimeter of her life. They only spoke about business, and to be honest, she missed their former camaraderie—at least what she thought was a friendship. Soon it would all be moot anyway. She had to give her notice, and she needed to do that sooner rather than later.

  She stowed her purse in her desk drawer, locked it then turned on the computer to verify the staffing for the night. With that out of the way, she wanted to have the conversation with Vincent and get that out of the way, too. She didn’t want the knowledge of her departure and the ensuing conversation to hang over her head longer than necessary.

  Bailey stepped out of her office, locked the door and then walked farther down the hall to Vincent’s office. She hoped he was there and that she wouldn’t have to make a “special time” to talk to him.

  A stream of light peeked out from under his door. She moved forward. Stopping in front, she drew in a breath of resolve and knocked on the door.

  “Come in.”

  Bailey opened the door and stepped in. “Vincent, I want to talk to you.”

  “What is it?” he asked without looking up.

  Bailey stepped closer and sat down in the chair by his desk. “You know that my long-term goal was to go back to law school.”

  He glanced up at her through his lashes then looked back at what he was writing. “And?”

  “Well, I got accepted to Harvard. Classes start in five weeks. I’m giving my two-weeks’ notice.”

  Vincent put down his pen, pushed back and leaned in his seat and looked at her. “Congratulations. I know that’s what you wanted.”

  “Yes, it is.” She dared to smile, being hard-pressed to contain her excitement.

  He was thoughtful for a moment, and his steady stare was making Bailey uncomfortable.

  “You’re going to be hard to replace. But there comes a time when we all have to move on to bigger and better things. Good luck.”

  “Thank you, Vincent. And thank you for giving me a chance here.” She pushed up from her seat and stood. “I better get to my station.”

  “No need.”

  “Huh?”

  “You can leave tonight. No reason to drag out the inevitable.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “But I still have three weeks to work,” she cried.

  He gave a slight shrug. “We’ll mail you your check.”

  She was so furious that she could barely see in front of her. He was really going to screw her like this? Her entire body was white-hot with rage, but she’d never let him see her sweat. “Fine. I’ll get my things and be gone.” Her throat tightened. She spun away and walked out.

  When she unlocked the door to her office her hands were shaking, and tears of fury and impotence stung her eyes. Was he really that vindictive? What was she going to do for money? She had bills to pay and plans to make. Damn you, Vincent!

  Through blurry eyes, she went through her desk and took out any personal items, which were few. She put her files on a flash drive that she kept in her purse, took a last look around and walked out.

  When she arrived at what would have been her post for the night, Mellie instantly knew that something was wrong.

  “What’s going on? Are you all right?”

  Bailey blinked away the sting of her tears. She took her office keys out of her purse and placed them on the bar top. “I no longer work here.”

  “What!”

  Bailey gave her the abbreviated version.

  “I’m happy for you, Bailey. I know how much you wanted it. This is your shot, girl, but I’m going to miss you like crazy.” She shook her head slowly. “I can’t believe that bastard did that to you.”

  “I can’t worry about it.”

  “Are you going to be okay money-wise?”

  “I’ll work it out.”

  Mellie reached across the bar and covered her hand. “Stay in touch, okay?”

  “I will. Promise.” She offered a tight smile, turned and walked out. By the time she walked the half block to where she’d parked, the tears were flowing in earnest. A wave of panic assaulted her. What was she going to do? Five weeks without an income?

  She’d told Justin earlier that she would come to his house when she got off, but she wasn’t up to seeing him. She couldn’t have him know how bad things were and how scared she was. But he’d be expecting her. She’d call him when she got home.

  * * *

  When she got home, all she had the will to do was stretch out on her bed and stare at the ceiling. She had to figure something out, but her thoughts kept swimming in endless circles. At some point she must have dozed off, and it was the ringing of her cell phone that jerked her out of a restless sleep.

  She fumbled with the phone in the dark. Justin.

  “Hey,” she said, trying to sound cheery and wide-awake.

  “Hey yourself. How’s everything going? You sounded like you were sleeping.” He chuckled.

  “I...was actually.”

  “Sleeping on the job?”

  “I’m home.”

  “Are you sick? What’s wrong?”

  “Silly me, I got my schedule wrong. I wasn’t on for tonight.”

  Justin let the silence hang there for a minute. “What happened, Bailey? As organized and precise as you are, that would never happen.”

  “Can we talk tomorrow? I’m really tired.”

  “You’re not going to tell me what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Nothing that I can’t handle with a little sleep.”

  “This isn’t cool. I’m not going to ask you anymore. But know that this isn’t cool. Whatever is going on with you, we are in it together. But we can’t be if you want to keep walking the line by yourself when you don’t have to.”

  “Vincent let me go tonight.”

  “Say what?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut and visualized the steely look that she was certain was on Justin’s face. “I told him that I would be leaving in five weeks for school and I was giving my two-weeks’ notice. He basically told me there was no reason to finish out my two weeks and that tonight was my last day.”

  He muttered an expletive. “I’m coming over. Answer the door.”

  “Justin!”

  He’d already hung up.

  Bailey got up from the bed and began pacing her apartment. Justin was right; she should feel comfortable enough to tell him anything, and not be leery of asking for advice or help or support. But old habits die hard. She was constantly battling the demons of her past. Already she could see herself falling into the trap of being taken care of by a man. The car. The dress. His coming to her defense the first time with Vincent. The key to his house. All of those were small things when looked at singularly. But together they added up to becoming dependent on someone else for your survival, for your happiness. She couldn’t do it. Even though he’d said he loved her, it was still hard to let go.

  * * *

  More than an hour had passed since she’d spoken to Justin. It didn’t take that long to get from his part of town to hers. She hoped nothing had happened and went to the window to see if his car was coming, just as her downstairs doorbell rang. She buzzed him in.

  When she pulled open the door and saw him standing there with nothing but love in his eyes, her soul opened up, and she fell into his arms. She inhaled him like fuel for an engine and he held her, not saying a word. He didn’t need to, because she realized that his being there said everything.

  “Come in,” she finally said when she could let him go.

  Justin closed the door behind
him. “Apryl here?”

  “She went back home. She said she wanted to give me back my space. Can I get you anything?”

  “No. I’m good.” He sat on the couch and extended his hand to her. She took it and sat beside him. He draped his arm around her shoulder. “First of all, if that’s the way he wants to treat you after the time and service that you put in to make his establishment successful, the hell with him. It’s his loss. And it shows you the kind of man he really is.” He reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. “After our little chat, he seemed to understand the error of his way of thinking.” He handed her the envelope.

  “What is this?”

  “Open it and see for yourself.”

  Hesitantly she took the envelope and opened it. Inside was a check for easily twice the amount that she was owed. She stared at the numbers in disbelief then turned wide eyes on Justin.

  “What is this? How...?”

  “He owed it. He paid it.”

  “Justin. What did you do?”

  “I didn’t break his knees, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said in jest. “I simply had a talk with him. When I finished talking, he understood how wrong he was and wanted to make it up to you.”

  She studied his expression, which didn’t change from its matter-of-fact demeanor, as if convincing people to do what he wanted, to buy into his idea, was second nature. The truth—it was. He was a seasoned attorney who molded, spun and presented information for a living—a good living. She had no idea what she was going to do being out of a job and with no money in sight. Now, thanks to Justin, it was a non-issue. Then she felt that old demon slip in under the door and take a seat in between them. This was all part of the same pattern of turning yourself over to someone else; giving them the power over you and the direction your life would take. It was easy to succumb when your back was against a wall, easy to simply “let it happen,” because there was no other way, until one day you didn’t know who you were, and when your almighty benefactor left, you were left with nothing and no one.

  Bailey stared at the check. Her thoughts twisted in her head. “Thank you,” she said finally.

  “You take what is owed to you. All the time. Every time. If you are going to be a lawyer, that’s one of the first lessons of making a deal. You must make your opponent believe that negotiating is to their benefit, when in the end, its yours.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

  “I’ll try to remember that.”

  “Speaking of becoming a lawyer, what are you going to do about someplace to live?”

  “The school mailed a list of off-campus housing. I’m going to make a few calls. Now that I have time on my hands...”

  “How do you see things working out between you and me?”

  She sighed heavily. “To be honest, I don’t know.” She turned her body toward his. “I want us to work. I need us to work. Whatever it takes. I know it won’t be easy.”

  “And with me working to get The Justice Project up and running, it will put us to the test.” He stroked her face. “I always did well on tests,” he said, his voice dropping an octave.

  Bailey grinned. “So did I. Top of my class.”

  He leaned in. “Impressive,” he uttered before melding his lips with hers. “Me, too.”

  Chapter 24

  “Girl, not only is the man wealthy and sexy as hell, he’s a damn superhero, too.”

  Bailey burst out laughing. “Addy, you are a pure fool.”

  “What else do you call a man who ‘comes to the rescue?’ He’s been there for you from the start. You are one lucky woman.”

  “I know that I should feel lucky. I know that I am.”

  “But?”

  “But I feel that the more he gives, the more he offers, the more I will lose of myself.”

  “Do you know how many women would love to be in your shoes?”

  “Hmm.” She continued cutting up the cucumbers for the salad. Addison had a bridal shower that she was catering for, and since Bailey had the time, she offered to help with the preparations.

  “I’m going to miss you when you leave.”

  Bailey began to rinse and devein the shrimp. “I’m going to miss you like crazy,” she said just above a tight whisper. “But we can visit, write. I’ll try to come down on breaks...”

  “But it won’t be the same.” Addison sighed.

  “I know,” Bailey said as she tossed the shrimp shells onto a layer of newspaper.

  As much as she tried to pretend that life would remain virtually unchanged, she knew she was deluding herself. But this was her chance. She had to take it or she would never forgive herself, even if taking that chance meant leaving the ones you love behind.

  * * *

  During the next few weeks leading up to her departure, she realized day by day what a blessing in disguise it was to be let go early from the Mercury Lounge. Every day there was an endless list of things to do. She’d finally decided on a one-bedroom apartment, about six blocks from campus. She’d taken a virtual tour, spoke with the landlord and then mailed her month’s rent and security. The next step was packing and having her belongings shipped up. Fortunately, her current lease was month to month, and she’d given her current landlord plenty of notice.

  Bailey came back from The Home Depot with more boxes. She stopped at her mailbox and checked for mail while also making a mental note to stop by the post office and have her mail forwarded.

  Her sisters were already in her apartment to help with the packing when she returned. Seeing them together, laughing and teasing each other, filled her soul with a kind of joy that was hard to name.

  “Hey, folks,” she announced, dropping the boxes by the door and tossing the mail on the table. She stood in the center of the chaos with her hands on her hips, taking it all in.

  “I sorted all the clothes,” Tory said. “By season. Your warmer things are marked. You’ll need those first.”

  “Your books are all boxed up, and I just finished up with your pots and dishes. I left a couple out for you to use until...you leave,” Apryl said.

  “You guys are so wonderful. I’m practically packed.” Bailey grinned.

  “We wanted to do this. You’re forever putting your life on hold for us, sacrificing for us. It’s way past time that we took care of ourselves and let you have a life, go after your own happiness,” Apryl said.

  Bailey could barely believe the words she was hearing. She’d longed for them, but never thought she’d hear them. “Thank you,” she choked.

  “That doesn’t mean that I’m not still going to be a pain in the ass,” Tory teased.

  Apryl threw a pillow from the couch at Tory and they all laughed and hugged and laughed some more.

  * * *

  When her sisters had piled out of her tiny apartment, she looked around at the stack of boxes and the empty cabinets. A chapter of her life was closing, and a new one would begin very soon.

  So much had happened in the past few months. If anyone would have told her that she would have found the love of an amazing man, got admitted into one of the top law schools in the country, would be leaving her home state of Louisiana and had forged a new and mature relationship with her sisters, she wouldn’t have believed it. Life.

  She stepped around the boxes stacked neatly in her living room, picked up her mail from the kitchen table and took it to her bedroom. She tossed it on the nightstand, and the familiar Louisiana State University logo, sticking out from a magazine, stopped her cold. She lifted up the magazine and plucked out the letter that had been stuck in between the pages. She flipped the envelope over and ripped open the flap. Her heart raced as she read the letter of congratulations. The letter stated that she was being considered for a full scholarship at LSU for the fall, and the admissions committee wanted to arrange a
n interview on August 10. Tomorrow!

  Bailey spun around in a circle of crazy excitement. She read the letter three times to make sure that she had not misread it. She didn’t. They wanted to meet with her.

  She tucked the letter back into the envelope, picked up her cell phone and called Justin. She was so giddy with excitement, he had to ask her to slow down and repeat herself.

  “Babe, that is incredible. Talk about the eleventh hour. What time tomorrow?”

  “Noon.”

  “Okay. I was going to tell you to come over, but you need a good night’s sleep so that you will be at the top of your game tomorrow. But I know you are going to wow them. It’s probably all formality. It’s yours. I just know it.”

  “Oh, Justin. This would mean I could stay here.”

  “It would. Are you willing to let go of the idea of Harvard?”

  She was quiet for a moment. “I would still get to attend law school and I would be here with you.”

  “I want you to be happy.”

  “I am, Justin, happier than I have been in a very long time, and I owe so much of that happiness to you.”

  “I love you, Bailey. Whatever it takes to show you...”

  “The way you love me...”

  “What, babe? The way I love you, what?”

  “Makes me feel...like someone who’d been dying of thirst and that thirst is finally quenched. I feel whole, valued.”

  “And for as long as you let me, I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you feeling that way. Now, you get some rest. Call me in the morning.”

  “Okay. I will.”

  “Good night.”

  “I love you,” she said softly.

  “And I love to hear you say it. Now, go to bed. Dream of tomorrow and us.”

  She grinned from the inside out. “Night.”

  * * *

  Bailey had taken extra time preparing for her interview. She’d gone over and over in her head the kinds of questions that might be tossed at her so that she could be ready for any eventuality. She arrived with more than twenty minutes to spare before her scheduled appointment. She cooled her heels in the reception waiting area and bided her time watching the comings and goings of staff. Finally, the assistant to the dean of admissions came over and said to follow her.