by Sotia Lazu
Chapter Twenty-four
I BYPASSED THE MESS that was my office and went straight home, to call Sheena. “Drinks while our vampires save the day?”
“Cherry. Hey. Everyone okay? Sally said you were attacked.” She sounded like she was crying. Was she afraid something happened to me?
“We’re all fine,” I said.
“Good. I was worried.” But she didn’t sound relieved; she sounded like shit. “Did it have to do with your case?”
“Yeah. How much has Sally told you about it?”
“I know a gorgeous were-panther is looking for his bespelled vampire bride and a sapphire that holds her soul or something.” Her tired voice belied her humorous words.
“Well, the vampire bride came after me, and the shifter grabbed her,” I said. “The gang is going to get the jewel tonight, so you and I can have a slumber party while we wait for news.”
“Nah. I’m tired, and you could use some rest.”
I wouldn’t take no for an answer. She needed the company, and so did I, if I were to stop thinking of how Constantine ran to my rescue and then took off instead of talking to me. Constantine never fled from anything. “If you don’t come over, I’ll come to you, and then you’ll have four of us all up in your space tonight,” I told Sheena. “Come on. We’ll order in, and veg out in front of the TV. I’ll even let you sleep in tomorrow.”
“I don’t know...”
“Please?”
“Okay. But no chic flicks.”
I ordered a couple of huge, greasy, calorie- and fat-ridden hot dogs with bacon, mustard, and extra relish, and fries. Praise the Powers that Be for all the stair climbing, or I soon wouldn’t fit in my jeans. I added a salad, to assuage the guilt. There was beer and white wine in the fridge, and I found Fast & Furious 6 on Netflix.
Sheena looked exhausted when I let her in. Her eyes were bloodshot and sunken.
“What happened?” I asked as she threw her arms around me.
“Me? You were the one attacked.”
“My door and window got the brunt of it.” I studied her face. “What’s the matter, hon?”
“Nothing. I’m tired. There’s never any quiet around the house.”
“Now tell me the truth.”
“I am.” She looked away.
“Are you sick? Is your wound acting up?”
She shook her head and met my gaze. “I’m fine. A friend passed away earlier today. I knew it was coming, but I miss him already.”
My pulse thudded in my ears. Sheena didn’t have many friends. “I’m sorry for your loss.” I hugged her, and a niggling fear tied my stomach into a knot. “Was it someone I knew?”
“Have you talked to Constantine recently?” Why did she change the subject?
“I saw him today. He broke down my door, saw I was okay, and left. Didn’t even look at me. But he knew I’m a PI, when I called to ask about this case. Guess the girls told him.”
“Guess so. Did he seem well?”
She was leading to something my brain refused to puzzle out. “Yeah, except for the wanting-nothing-to-do-with-me part.” My heart was racing, but she’d tell me if there was something wrong with him.
Sheena rolled her eyes. “He loves you. You chose not to be with him; he gets to choose not to be your friend.”
The intercom buzzed, and I jumped before I remembered the hot dogs.
I got the door and returned with an armful of drool-worthy artery cloggers. We got some food into our systems, and then drowned our sorrows while watching sexy people wreak havoc.
Sheena yawned, and I paused the film to go make the guest bed for her. The king-size sheets I bought when I moved in were too big for the queen bed in the spare room. I was resigned to tucking in a lot of fabric, when I remembered I had the right size covers in the suitcase stashed in my bedroom closet. As I tried to pull out a set without laying the suitcase flat and opening it all the way, a folded piece of paper slipped out and floated to the hardwood floor. Alex was scribbled on it, in Constantine’s handwriting.
It was Constantine’s note to Alex, and Alex wanted me to have it.
It took me three tries to pick it up; my hands shook.
“Need any help?” called Sheena from the living room.
“I’m good,” I called back and opened the note.
Alex,
I never expected to consider you a friend, but I do, so I mean it when I wish you and Cherry a long, happy life together.
This woman is my world, however, and should you ever hurt her, I will become your worst nightmare. Letting go of her is only possible because I know she’ll be happy with you. If she’s not, let her free. Cherry isn’t meant to fit in the norms you were brought up to embrace. If she chooses to do so, make it worth her while.
Be good, my friend. Be healthy. Be happy.
Sincerely,
Constantine
Tears fell from my eyes and soaked the paper in my hands. I felt lightheaded and sat on the bed, rereading the note.
“Is this from him?” Sheena asked from the doorway. “Did he tell you about Wesley?”
I snapped my gaze to her. “Wesley?”
“Shit. Constantine made me promise not to tell you.”
“What happened?” That came out shrill.
“The last of Wesley’s great grandkids passed months ago, and Wesley decided he didn’t want to live any longer. He passed away tonight.”
“Oh God. Poor Wesley.” The tears came harder.
“He asked us not to cry for him.” But tears beaded her eyelids. She blinked them back. “He had a full life, and it was his choice. He stopped taking Constantine’s blood about when you came back from your parents.”
I wiped my face. “Constantine’s blood?”
“That’s what kept Wesley going. How else do you think he got to live almost a hundred and eighty years, and still be spry?”
I sniffled. “I didn’t know. I thought he was old, not old old.” Because I never cared to ask. Because I was too absorbed with my drama to get to know the gentle old man who took care of everyone. “I didn’t even know that was possible.” Someone could have told me when I was a vampire dating a human.
I’d miss Wesley. He was ancient—literally, apparently—but I never thought of him dying. He was a constant in my life and in Constantine’s. “Constantine...”
“It destroyed him. Between losing you and waiting for his closest friend to pass, he became a hermit. When we went to visit Wesley, Constantine made himself scarce. This case is the first the girls saw him in weeks.”
“Why didn’t any of you tell me? I wanted to say goodbye.”
“Wesley said you did, and Constantine didn’t want you to return to him out of pity. He wanted your new life to be filled with happiness.”
I remembered Sally telling me I should go to him. That we were both alone. “Doesn’t he know Alex and I broke up?”
“Carrie called him when we found out—sorry, but we’re his friends too—and when she mentioned you, he stopped her and said he only wants to know if you’re in trouble or need help.”
Stupid, stubborn man. “But he knew I was a PI.”
“Which none of us told him.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. A good man is dead, and I’m making it all about my nonexistent love life.”
“Wesley would be happy if you and Constantine made things work,” she said with a sad smile.
“Too bad that’s not gonna happen, huh?”
She came to sit next to me. “Hon, you know your situation isn’t irreversible, yes?”
“He said he doesn’t want to—”
“No, woman. I mean you don’t have to stay human if you don’t want to.”
Be a vampire again? Did I want to? Would Constantine turn me if I asked?
But did I want to?
“Do you love him?” Sheena asked.
“Yes, but I loved Alex too, and—”
She didn’t let me finish. “Do you love being human?”
<
br /> “I don’t hate it. It’s cool, I guess, now I can tell flavors apart.”
She gave me a light smack upside the head. “Focus. Do you love being a human?”
I thought about it. Being human was about growing, experiencing all stages of life, and not outliving everyone you forged a connection to. With the exception of Sheena and my parents, my nearest and dearest were all undead. Humans could walk in the sun, but with Ruby’s brew, so could vampires, and they didn’t get period pains or migraines or hunger pangs.
“What if one day I decide I want children?” I asked.
“You adopt. Or you take the girls in. Or get a dog.”
I thought of the night I shared with Alex and Constantine. The choice I made that night wasn’t between the two of them; it was about the life I craved. I loved Alex—I really did—but I didn’t choose him. He was the added bonus.
Would I do it all again? Yes, because I needed to see what I’d missed out on.
Would I make the same choice today?
I planted a kiss on Sheena’s cheek. “Thank you.”
“I won’t wait up,” she said, kicking her shoes and making herself comfortable on my bed.
Chapter Twenty-five
THE UBER DROPPED ME off at the mansion’s gate.
I considered pressing the intercom button, but my inebriated brain insisted it was better to climb the wrought iron fence.
Using the gate for support and the strength-boost alcohol afforded me, I lifted my weight up the end post. My jeans didn’t offer enough friction, and my hands hurt. It took several tries, and I berated me my stupidity the whole time it took to reach the top. My relief when I swung my right leg over the top rail was squelched when one of my belt loops got snagged on the spike behind me and I couldn’t move either way.
Screw it. I’d call Constantine, and if he left me hanging—literally—I’d threaten to call 911.
I pulled out my phone, but my fingers were clumsy and sweaty with the effort it took to get up here. The phone slipped through them. I watched horrified as it landed on a rock and the back jumped off, spilling out the battery and sim card.
Awesome.
“Constantine,” I yelled. “Hey! Help me down. Your stupid fence has taken me hostage.” He was a vampire. He should be able to hear me.
Sometime later, I realized he couldn’t. As far as I knew, he was still out, looking for the soul sapphire. Fuck.
I don’t know how I managed to fall asleep in the most uncomfortable position imaginable, or how the jeans held my weight and saved me from plummeting to the ground when I half-slid off the iron rail I straddled, but Constantine’s face was inches from mine when he said, “What the fuck are you doing, Cherry?” His expression wavered between amused and angry. And maybe concerned?
“Waiting for you?” My eyes burned again. I was supposed to throw myself in his arms and profess my love. Instead, I was dangling upside down like meat at the butcher’s, and I couldn’t figure out where to start. I looked around. I was on the inner side of the fence. I’d count that as a win.
He helped me down and handed me the remains of my phone. “What do you want?” he asked, holding the gate open for me to exit.
I leaned my weight against it, but his grip kept it from closing. “I need to talk to you,” I said.
“Is it another case? The girls can help you. My part in this one is done. Kappel’s place was empty when we went in for the sapphire. Since he didn’t follow protocol, he’s a fugitive in the U.S., so I expect he left the country. Hunt will apply for Katje to stay legally. He’ll call you.”
“Thank you, but that’s not why I came.”
“Why did you? I’ve repeatedly asked you to keep your distance.” He glowered, violet and grey swirling in his eyes and confusing me.
“I’m sorry. About Wesley, not for being here. Sheena saw me crying, and she thought I knew. He was a good, decent man, and I’m so sorry he’s gone.” I cupped Constantine’s face, but he shied away from my touch.
“I’m tired, Cherry,” he croaked. “Tonight I lost the best friend I’ve had in centuries, and I ran to do your bidding before his body was cold.”
“I didn’t know—”
“I’m tired of hurting.” He trapped me between his body and the gate. “I’m tired of missing you and being lonely, and I’m tired of you not getting that seeing you and not having you is torture.”
“But—”
“I don’t want to hear how you miss me too and want us to be friends. I don’t want to be your friend. I want you to leave me alone.”
“Constantine, I love you.”
He huffed. “But not enough. Why do you torment me? Are you enjo—”
“Oh, will you shut the fuck up?” That shocked him into silence long enough for me to add, “I’m not here to torture you. I love you enough. I want to be with you.”
He widened his eyes and took a step back. “Best case scenario, I can delay your aging, but I can’t watch you wither away like Wesley. I won’t do that.”
Was he always this dense?
“No, you insufferable man. I want to be a vampire again, and I want you to be my maker.”
He leaned in close, and I closed my eyes, thinking he’d kiss me. Instead, I heard him sniff. “You’ve been drinking,” he said. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
I glared. My thoughts had never been clearer. “I’m not drunk. I want this as much as you do. Unless you’re not that into me when I’m actually available.”
“And what does Alex think about this?” Constantine asked, his voice dripping honey all of a sudden.
“Alex and I are done.”
“That’s why you came back. We’re interchangeable for you. It didn’t work out with one, so you’ll scurry to the other. I told you before—I won’t be the consolation prize.”
How could he love me and be such an ass about it? I poked him in the chest hard enough to hurt my finger, though it had no effect on him. “I broke up with Alex weeks ago, because I don’t want a family. I tried to be human, but I didn’t like it. I tried to live without you, but you’re the only thing on my fucking mind. Now, will you get over yourself and kiss me already?”
I didn’t expect it to work without further groveling, but he snatched my finger and pulled me into him. An electric current ran through me when our lips met. How did I ever survive without him?
He deepened the kiss, and I felt lightheaded. My feet no longer touched the ground. Constantine flew us across his gardens, kicked down his own front door, and took me to his bed.
He wasn’t gentle with my clothes, ripping my jeans in two and tearing my T-shirt off me. “Forgive me, but I’ve waited too long. Too long.”
“Don’t worry. I have other clothes,” I said, fighting to pull his shirt over his head.
He snapped the elastic in my thong and pulled down his jeans without unbuttoning them. “Foreplay next time. You have my word.” He pulled me to the edge of the mattress by the ankles, lifted my legs in the air, and slid inside me in one long thrust.
This. This was what I needed. Not a hard cock, but the connection with Constantine. Feeling him inside me. Spreading me. He draped his body over mine, folding me in half. My legs dangled over his arms as rammed into me time and again.
I arched up to find his lips and breathed into his mouth. I didn’t know if my human body could withstand the way he contorted me, but I didn’t care.
He folded one of my legs around his hips and splayed his hand over my chest. “Are you sure you no longer want this?”
It took a second to realize he meant my heartbeat. “I’m sure.” I bucked against him, urging him deeper. Faster. I wanted him to take me to my limit. To throw me over the edge. To end me and breathe new life into me.
His skin was cold against mine, but he scorched me when he palmed my breasts and squeezed, using them to drive his thrusts. He hurt me in the most delicious ways, and I couldn’t wait till I was a vampire and could take more of it. More of him.
“It doesn’t have to be now.” He punctuated each word with a thrust. “We can have a romantic evening. Candlelight. Strawberries. Chocolate. I want to make it special for you this time.”
“You’re all I need,” I whispered. “Don’t ever stop fucking me.”
“Not planning on it anytime soon.” He kissed me again, plunging his tongue into my mouth as he pumped his cock inside me, hard and demanding.
I bit his lip with enough force to draw blood. It drove him wild. His rhythm became punishing, and I thought I’d faint with pleasure.
My body tightened around him, and I felt the ball of fire in my belly prepare to erupt. I tossed my head to the side and swept my hair out of the way. “Now. Please.”
Constantine kissed along my jaw line and down my neck, while he inched his hand toward my cunt. He pierced the flesh with his fangs at the same time he pressed his thumb on my clit and twisted.
I came apart. My legs thrashed of their own accord, as my heart pounded in my chest. I dug my nails in his shoulders, and felt the skin give way, but I didn’t care. I latched on to him and rode out my orgasm, as I felt my life’s blood fill his mouth and trickle to pool on the sheets under my head.
Constantine wedged an arm under my shoulders to hold me close. He kept fucking me and drinking me down, prolonging my release while he drove me to yet another death.
I slid into darkness like more than once before, but this time I didn’t panic. I was where I belonged.
“I love you.”
Epilogue
I OPENED MY EYES, AND smiled when I saw Constantine’s beautiful face. He lay on his side next to me, one leg between mine. The darkness did nothing to hide him from me, but brought out his beauty in stark relief. I took in his sparkling eyes. His generous lips. His perfect teeth. The angle of his prominent cheekbones. With his halo of golden hair, he could be a wicked angel.
“Good morning,” he said. His eyes were their normal light blue and no longer looked haunted.
“Mmm...” I stretched and brought my fingers to my neck, where he bit me—was it this morning? “What day is it?”
