by Kait Rose
At one point in my life I finally thought maybe the doctors were wrong. When I finally moved out of my mother’s house, I was starting to feel the heaviness of all my thoughts lighten. I figured maybe it was just her who made me and my dad this way. I decided to come off my meds and if I had to fake my happiness some days then it was worth it. College definitely made it easier with classes taking most of my time up or if I needed to drink or smoke during one of my bad days, nobody would question it.
After smoking a joint and calming down, I knew I needed to go apologize to Stella for snapping on her. If I just let her take her bags in, we could have avoided her denting my truck. The other part of me wanted to tell her a man doesn’t let a woman struggle carrying fifty pound bags full of clothes up a flight of stairs. Right when I was about to leave my room and go find her, someone was knocking on my door.
“Ezra are you in there?” Stella’s voice traveled through from the other side of the door. I opened the door as soon as she asked and Stella looked surprised.
I leaned in my doorway with my arms crossed, blocking her from coming into my room. She looked defeated that I wasn’t letting her in, but being alone with her in my room was too tempting and I was running out of restraint. “Yes?” I didn’t know where she wanted to go with this conversation, so I figured she should lead it.
“Uhm…” She was staring at my stomach, but she finally snapped herself out of it when I gave her a small smirk at her ogling me. “I wanted to say you were right about us staying out of each other’s way.”
I knew that I was the first one to say it, but my heart dropped and my stomach didn’t feel good at the realization that Stella rather be away from me than fixing what just happened. Maybe she was right though. It was easy to hide when I was having a bad day when I didn’t need to be around her all the time. “Ok.” Was all I could say back.
She looked shocked and said, “Really?”
“It seems that’s what you want.” In my head I was screaming for her to change her mind.
“Well I…” Her voice trailed off like she didn’t know what to say. She quickly changed the subject back to my truck. “I am sorry for damaging your truck. Just let me know how much it costs to fix the dent and I will pay for it.”
“It’s ok and I am sorry for flipping out, but you don’t need to pay for it.”
“I insist.” She said firmly like she wasn’t backing down.
“That’s nice, but no.” I stared right back at her showing I wasn’t backing down either.
Stella finally lost her patience and said, “What is your problem? First you wouldn’t let me take my own bags in and next you won’t let me pay for something I did. I bet if this was any of the other guys you wouldn’t have a problem letting them pay for it.” You would think after all the romance books she reads, she would appreciate when someone was being a gentleman.
I stepped up into her space and you can tell by the way her chest was moving rapidly and the goosebumps on her skin that me being this close to her was affecting her. I felt my jeans starting to tighten and I needed to end this conversation before I ended up pulling her into my bedroom. “I wouldn’t take their money either. They would pay me back by helping me fix it.” I walked around her to head towards the kitchen, but of course she wouldn’t just drop it.
“Then I will help.” She said proudly like she was excited at the fact of helping me work on my truck.
“Stella, really it’s ok. It’s just a dent and I have other stuff to fix, we are good. I apologize for snapping and you're forgiven for denting it.” I headed towards the refrigerator, but the orphan I somehow adopted was eating my leftovers from last night.
“That’s my sandwich!” I ripped it out of Declan’s grasp before he finished it.
“Sorry, there was no name.” He shrugged and went over to rummage through the pantry.
“Yeah because I live here and I think you have forgotten you don’t.” I said taking a bite of what was left of my sandwich.
“Where the girls go I go.” He said through a shit eating smirk while he opened up a bag of chips. Between his loud chewing and Stella staring at me impatiently, I felt myself getting more stressed by the minute.
I didn’t realize I was squeezing my sandwich until Stella put her hand around my arm and whispered softly, “Are you ok?” I felt embarrassed that I kept losing it today in front of her. I’m usually the easing going guy in front of her, but living under this roof with her was already proving it was going to be a challenge hiding this part of me.
“Want to go for a walk with me?” I asked Stella quietly.
“Lead the way.” She said motioning to the front door without questioning me any further.
We walked in silence while the sound of birds and the occasional passing car filled the air. I knew I only had a few more seconds of silence by the way Stella was biting her lip trying to keep her questions to herself. I decided it was better to get this over with so I finally said, “Ask away.”
“Who said I had anything to ask?” She said with a shrug to her shoulders to make it seem like she was cool with just walking in silence.
“Alright.” If she wants to play games, I’ll play too. She had a surprised look on her face that I wasn’t going to badger her into telling me what was on her mind.
“Well you know now that you brought it up, what happened back there?” She asked.
“He ate my sandwich.” I played it off and hopefully she would take that as an answer, but I should know by now Stella was smart and knew how to read people.
“It was more than that. Any other time you would have laughed it off and told him he owed you two now, one to replace and a second for your pain and suffering of having to watch your sandwich be eaten.” I couldn’t help the laugh that escaped, it was definitely something I could see myself saying.
“I’m just having an off day.” It was the closest to the truth. I wish I could just tell her everything that has been weighing me down, but the fear of her never looking at me the same or wanting me was a fear I wasn’t ready to face.
“I’m going to believe you...for now since I dented your truck. Since we’re on the subject, why won’t you let me help?” She sounded a little hurt that I refused her offer to help. I only said no because I felt like the more time I spend with Stella the more I fall harder. It was already a challenge not kissing her when I wanted too.
“I didn’t think you really wanted to. I’m meeting my friend Pete, at his garage on Charles Street in town at seven tomorrow. You can meet me there if you like.”
As soon as the words left my mouth she eagerly said, “Yes!” What she doesn’t know is I meant seven in the morning. I’m going to have one furious Stella tomorrow.
Chapter Four
Stella
Ezra Banks really thinks he could pull a fast one on me. I knew when he easily gave in and told me to meet him at seven, he thought I would think seven at night. Then when I showed up at the closed garage and came home pissed, he would then say something like, “Should have asked me morning or night.” Well this girl is one smart cookie and remembered him telling me how he likes to work on his truck before classes.He is in for a surprise when he sees me waiting for him this morning, but I had to sneak out without him hearing because he would then purposely not show up until tonight.
It was six am and the garage was a good twenty minute drive. I grabbed my sneakers out of my closet and tiptoed down the hall, making sure Ezra didn’t hear me. When I got down the stairs it was pitch black and I felt like I was in the clear until I heard someone clear their throat.
“Ahhh!” I yelled. I was not expecting anyone to be down here.
“Calm down it’s me.” Ezra whispered behind me in the dark while the rest of our roommates still were fast asleep in their beds. I don’t know if my heart was racing because he scared me or from him being so close to me alone in the dark.
“I can hear your heart pounding.” He trailed his hand down my chest and stopped his hand ri
ght over my heart. My breath caught and my heart went faster and louder. “Do I really affect you this much?” He asked.
“I…” I was saved by the light and a sleepy Madison in the doorway. She was rubbing her eyes, but when she finally opened them, she had a huge smile on her face at the sight of how close Ezra and I were.
“What are you two doing down here alone and in the dark?” She pointed and wiggled her finger at me and Jude.
“Ah..” I was at a loss for words, so Jude answered for me.
“We’re on our way to the garage to fix my truck and this one didn’t see me here waiting.”
“You got scared and decided to pick up an umbrella to defend yourself?” Madison said sleepy.
“It was the closest thing to me at the time.” I shrugged.
“There are many ways an umbrella could be used as a weapon. First you can…” Ezra was ready to list all his crazy ideas, but Madison put her hand up to stop him.
“It is way too early to deal with you two.” With that being said, Madison turned around and headed back to her room.
“She’s a morning person.” Ezra said amused.
“And I’m guessing you are too.” I said while staring at the empty cup of coffee and cereal bowl sitting on the table.
“What are you doing anyways sneaking down here with your shoes in your hands?” He arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms while leaning against the counter.
“I thought you were tricking me into thinking you meant pm when really you meant am. I figured I would get there before you because if you found out that I caught on, you would purposely show up at night.” I rambled in which seemed to amuse him.
“You are cute when you ramble and smart too.” He said with a huge smile on his face.
It took me a moment to think about what he just said and when I finally realized it, I smacked him in the arm and said, “You asshole!” Everything I figured out was right and he just confirmed it.
He couldn’t help but laugh while he walked over to the living room and grabbed his truck keys “Come on.” He walked out the door not waiting to see if I would even go.
“Wait up.” I ran after him, excited to see where this day was going to go. “Are we heading to the garage?”
“Nope.”
“Ok then, where?”
“You’ll see.” He was still smiling from ear to ear which was contagious because I couldn’t frown even if I tried too.
~*~
We drove an hour into the city, but it only felt like minutes by the way we were talking. “What are your plans for when you graduate?” I remember he said he was taking classes for management.
“My uncle actually owns Willow Country Club back in Bellingham. He wants to retire and have me run the place.” Willow Country Club was exclusive to people who made six figures or more. I saw pictures in magazines of celebrities staying there for the summer and boy did it scream luxury.
“Wow that is amazing! I’m happy for you.” My face showed happiness, but inside my heart dropped knowing he would be moving away and surrounded by beautiful rich women.
“Thanks.” He sounded as sad as I felt.
I didn’t want this to set the mood for the rest of the ride so I decided to change subjects. “So where are we going?”
“Somewhere.” He gave me a smile while inside I was screaming at him to tell me.
“Cool.” I hated surprises, but I wasn’t going to let him know he was getting to me by not telling me.
After ten more minutes, we finally arrived at what looked like an abandoned warehouse. “Is this where you kill me and hide my body?” I gave a little laugh, but I was starting to feel nervous.
By the way my eyes were wide and I was holding tight onto my seat belt, had Ezra bursting into laughter. “Stella, do you really think I would kill you? Knowing you, you would come back and haunt me for eternity.”
“You know it. I would follow you everywhere and even when you tried having sex, I would be there forever cockblocking you.” Our conversations always got weird and crazy, but that was one of the things I loved about us. Being able to be myself around him without judgement was comforting.
“I never knew you were a watcher.” He started laughing hysterically while getting out of the truck.
It took me a moment to get what he was saying and when I did I yelled, “I am not!”
“Sure. Now come on.” Sometimes I could honestly strangle Ezra, but it would have to wait. I got out of the truck to follow him, but I made sure to stand behind him and let him go first into the creepy building.
When we got inside, I was truly shocked to my core. Inside the warehouse was nothing like the outside. There was art and sculptures all over the lobby with funky furniture and colors. I never knew this place even existed. “What is this place?” I asked in wonder.
“Well I stumbled upon it online, but it’s half an art gallery and then they have this room where they hang one of those huge tapestries and you get all different items like balloons or squirt guns to shoot paint and design it. I thought with you going to school for interior design, maybe this is something you would like to do?” He started to seem unsure of himself, but if this was a date it would be the greatest date of my life.
“Are you kidding me? This is so awesome! Let’s go!” I said excited like a little kid going to DisneyLand for the first time.
We met with the front receptionist who handed us overalls to keep our clothes clean. After changing into them we were then led into a white tarped room. The huge tapestry hung from the ceiling next to a bucket of paint balloons, gallons of different color paints, squirt guns, and other things like paint brushes and spray paint to decorate it. I didn’t know where to begin and when I looked to Ezra to see what he had in mine he was sitting up against the wall.
“What are you doing?” I asked, confused.
“I figured you probably had a design in your head, so I was going to let you do your thing.”
I walked over to Ezra, grabbed his hand, and pulled him up to his feet while saying, “The best part of art is when it’s unplanned. Let’s just let loose and see what we create.” He nodded his head and went towards the bucket of squirt guns with a huge smile on his face.
I gave him a look that said don’t you dare, but he didn’t get the message I was trying to portray because the next thing I know I’m getting sprayed with paint. “Ezra Banks, you are so dead!” If you had to describe happiness with a sound, Ezra’s laugh would be the definition. His laugh was infectious and before I knew it I was racing towards the balloons.
We went all out with all the paint, throwing and spraying it at each other. Towards the end of our paint fight, Ezra grabbed a gallon of the blue paint and started heading my way. “Don’t even think about it!” As soon as the words left my mouth, I was doused in blue paint. The paint started dripping over my eyes to a point where I couldn’t see. I grabbed what was closest to me to steady myself which was Ezra. With the paint puddling on the floor, I slipped and brought him down with me.With blurry vision I couldn’t see Ezra, but could feel him on top of me.
His breathing started to quicken while I on the other hand was forgetting to breathe. He wiped the paint from my eyes and when I finally could see him, he looked lost in thought while staring at me. I could feel the electricity buzzing around us and like two magnets we started to come closer, but we were interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
The receptionist had a small smile on her face and when she saw our art, she let out a small giggle on accident. She cleared her throat again and said, “I’m sorry, but your time is up. Do you guys want to book another time slot?” She asked unsure while looking at our art.
When I looked over at the tapestry, there was only a splash of the blue paint on it while the rest was currently all in my hair. I was amazed that was the only paint to get on it, but nonetheless I loved it. I know whenever I look at it, I’ll remember this time with Ezra and it will take me back to one of my happiest memories.
When we finished cleaning up and met back in the lobby, Ezra looked upset. I immediately got nervous and asked, “Is everything ok?”
“Yeah, I just feel bad you didn’t get to design in it. If I didn’t start a paint war, you would be walking out with something other than a blue dripping line.”
“What did I say before, the best art is art that isn’t planned.”
“You call a dripping blue line, art?” He raised his eyebrow in disagreement.
“Yes because whenever I look at that blue dripping line I will remember a time where I felt carefree and happy. Art is supposed to bring you happiness or even remind you of a memory. This does that.” I really wanted to say it will always remind me of you, but I didn’t want to see his reaction to that.
He took a minute to think about what I said before saying, “You know what you are right, I love it.” He put his arm around me and guided me back to the truck. Just a simple gesture like that had the butterflies flying crazy inside me.
~.~
It was our last day of winter break before we started our classes, so we decided to make the most of our day in the city before heading to the garage tonight. We explored the city just walking around without a care in the world and stumbled upon a carnival in the park.
“Can we please go?” I asked while checking my phone. It was only three, so we had plenty of time until we needed to head back.
“Hell yeah!” Ezra was more excited than me. Honestly, I think he was even more excited than the five year old in front of us.
“You act like you have never been to a carnival before.” I started to laugh, but he didn’t join in.
Ezra looked like his mind was somewhere else when he said, “I never have been.” I wanted to tell him yeah right, but by the look on his face I could tell he wasn’t joking around. He snapped out of it quickly and said, “Look fried Oreos, let’s go!” He grabbed me by the hand and started dragging me over to the food stand. I don’t know who ate more, him or Declan.
