The Day He Came Back

by Ward, Penelope

  “I owe you an apology for my behavior earlier,” I said. “Walking in here and seeing you was a shock, for many reasons. I never should’ve drawn any conclusions without letting you explain. I’m very sorry.”

  She’d been stirring in sugar and paused before letting out a long breath. “It’s okay. I was on edge, too. I can’t really blame you for being shocked. No one was more shocked than I was to see you today. I wasn’t prepared.”

  She finally turned around to face me and leaned against the counter. My body stirred as I took her in. As much as my mind wanted me to forget, my body remembered her all too well.

  Raven was somehow even more beautiful than she’d been before. The same wide eyes, the same smooth, porcelain skin that reddened with the slightest bit of stress. Her wild waves were gone though. Her now-straightened black hair fell to the middle of her back.

  There was so much I wanted to know, even though it might not have been any of my business. Was she married? Did she have kids? What had she been doing for a decade? And she probably knew my father better than anyone at this point. I really wanted her opinion on his condition.

  “Would you have some time to meet with me tonight? I could order dinner. I would like your take on some things…that pertain to my father.”

  She thought about it for a moment. “I don’t think so. I have somewhere to be tonight.”

  “Okay…um…maybe another time this week?”

  She looked everywhere but into my eyes. “Yeah. I’ll take a look at my schedule.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.”

  This exchange was so business-like. Somewhere deep inside, my heart screamed out questions I did everything in my power to quiet.

  It doesn’t matter anymore.

  “How long are you staying?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I planned for a month. I’ve been avoiding this for too long. I need to get his affairs in order and figure stuff out.”

  “I see.” She put her mug down on the counter. “Well, I’d better go tend to him.”

  After she went back upstairs, my chest felt tight. I couldn’t figure out if it was a reaction to Raven or the overall emotional toll of being back here—likely a mixture of both.

  There was something different about Raven that I couldn’t quite figure out. Something, maybe life experience, had hardened her. My head began to spin as I tried to figure it all out. I wondered if I was losing my mind right along with my dad as I gazed out the glass doors of the kitchen to the pool.

  The sun sparkled over the water. I needed to cool the fuck down.

  I went outside and ripped off my shirt before stepping out of my pants. Without giving it a second thought, I dove into the pool in my boxer briefs. The water, which had been warmed by the sun, wasn’t quite cold enough for what I needed today.

  Swimming lap after lap, I tried to rid myself of this nervous energy.

  When I finally stopped, I pushed my hair back, rubbed the water off my face, and looked up. Through the blinding sunlight, I could have sworn I saw Raven in the window of my father’s bedroom, looking down at me.

  By the time I blinked, she was gone.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  * * *

  RAVEN

  I couldn’t believe he looked up at me. While Mr. M napped, I’d peeked out the window overlooking the pool. The last thing I expected to see was Gavin swimming like a shark back and forth. When he rose from the water, displaying his carved body, I nearly lost my breath. Then he suddenly looked up, and I moved away from the window so fast that I tripped on the wastebasket and nearly woke Mr. M.

  This entire day felt like a dream. Hours had passed, yet I was still in complete shock that Gavin was here—and that he was staying for at least a month.

  Ten years looked damn good on him. He was the same, but different—partly the guy I knew, yet a man I hardly recognized all in one. His hair was the same beautiful, tousled mess that fell over his forehead. His jawline was more defined, with scruff I longed to feel against my skin. His shoulders were broader. Every bit of this was like salt poured into my very old wound that had never healed. All of my feelings came flooding back.

  I really needed to get myself in check, because if he was staying a whole month, I couldn’t let my reaction to him impede my day-to-day work caring for his dad.

  Gavin wanted to talk to me, but I wasn’t ready. I could barely look him in the eyes. It was too painful, and after all this time, I was afraid he’d see right through me; he’d know. Not to mention, I was still stewing a bit from his reaction to finding me here. It pissed me off that he could think my intentions were anything but honorable.

  I stayed upstairs as long as I possibly could. My shift normally ended at seven, at which point the night nurse took my place. Today Nadine happened to be running late, so I hung out with Mr. M until she finally arrived.

  I was hoping to avoid Gavin downstairs and make a clean exit. But I had to pass through the kitchen to get my keys and other belongings. He was standing at the granite counter when I entered the room.

  “So…” he said, “I kind of fucked up and ordered all this food, not realizing how big the portions were. I can’t eat it all by myself. Are you sure you won’t join me for dinner?”

  I stood there in silence, unsure what to say. I glanced over at the brown paper bags sitting on the counter.

  “Is that from Wong’s?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then you knew how big the portions are.”

  “Okay, let me rephrase my question,” he said. “I have a large bottle of wine to numb any potential awkwardness of having dinner with me. Care to stay?”

  I cracked my first smile since his arrival. “Well, now you’re talking.”

  He perked up. “Yeah? You’re in? I know you said you had plans, so I don’t want to—”

  “I don’t have plans. I just didn’t want to have dinner with you.”

  He laughed a little and nodded. “Ah. Well, I always appreciated your no-bullshit attitude. I see that hasn’t changed.”

  “I’ve realized I need to get over any awkwardness between us, especially if you’ll be staying a while.”

  “I agree. We need to get over it. I see now that you’re not going anywhere. And I wouldn’t want you to. Genevieve filled me in on how important you’ve become in Dad’s life. I can’t thank you enough for taking such good care of him.”

  “It’s my pleasure.”

  I looked over at the bottle of wine, which was indeed huge.

  “That’s a big bottle of wine.”

  “Well, you know what they say…”

  “What’s that?”

  “A bottle of wine should be a reflection of a man’s prowess, so…”

  “Ah. They must have been out of the smaller ones.” I winked.

  He pretended to be grossly offended. “Ouch.”

  He knew damn well I was kidding.

  “I suppose I deserve that for being an asshole earlier.”

  “Honestly…it’s fine, Gavin. I might have reacted the same way, if I were you.”

  His expression turned serious. “I had no idea just how bad things had gotten with him. I feel ashamed for how clueless I’ve been. But that’s over. I’ll be staying on top of things from now on.” He gestured toward the table. “Shall we sit?”

  “Can I help?”

  “No. Please. You’ve had a long day. Allow me.”

  I took a seat while Gavin pulled two glasses from the cabinet and popped open the bottle of red. Admiring his big, masculine hands, I looked for a wedding ring. There was none. The only things Genevieve had divulged to me in the past several months were that Gavin was an entrepreneur and he’d never finished law school. She didn’t reveal much about his personal life, and I never prodded her for more information. I might have been afraid to find out the truth.

  He poured my wine and placed the glass in front of me on the table.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “You’re welcome.”


  He poured himself a glass, got out two plates and some silverware, and then carried everything over. He opened the boxes of Chinese, and we each served ourselves.

  We sat in silence for a couple of minutes as we took the first bites of our food and sipped the wine. The tension in the air was thick. It was hard not to stare at his beautiful face, but whenever I did, it only made the pain in my chest worse. My Gavin. He was right here. But so far away.

  He looked just as stressed as I was.

  He finally put his fork down and said, “I just want to get this out of the way, alright?”

  My heart sped up. “Okay…”

  “What happened between us was a long time ago. We’re both adults. Despite getting off on the wrong foot, I’m not harboring any hard feelings toward you, Raven. I can tell I’m making you very nervous right now. And I feel like that’s because you’re waiting for me to snap or something. I want you to know it’s all good, okay? What happened…was a decade ago.”

  That gave me mixed feelings. I didn’t want him to still be hurt by what I did. But all the feelings I’d ever had for him were still there, and a part of me wished he felt the same—even just a little.

  “Thank you for clarifying that,” I said. “It’s been hard for me to see you after all this time. But I don’t want things to be awkward, and I appreciate you trying to break the ice.”

  When I looked up, his eyes lingered on mine in a way that made me doubt he was as unaffected by me as he claimed. His mouth had just said one thing, but his eyes were saying another.

  Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part. I got lost in those eyes for a few seconds until he interrupted with a question.

  “Now that we got that out of the way, tell me about my father. What is your take on his prognosis?” He took a bite of food as he waited for my response.

  “Your father’s condition has definitely worsened compared to when I started here six months ago. He has difficulty finding the right words to say what he wants, and he gets confused a lot. I don’t think anyone can say how fast this will progress.”

  “I think I may need to move him to London.”

  Hearing that made my stomach drop. I wasn’t sure how Mr. M would handle such a drastic move—not to mention, he’d become attached to me. I felt very sad at the prospect of him losing everything that seemed to matter.

  “Are you looking for my opinion on that?” I asked.

  He wiped his mouth. “Yes, of course.”

  “I don’t think that would be what’s best for him. This house, the staff here, are all that he knows. And while, yes, it would be easier for you to keep an eye on him if he were physically closer to you, I think the only person who would benefit from that is you.”

  Gavin nodded, seeming to let my words sink in. “Fair enough. Thank you for your input.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe he thinks you’re your mother. I mean, you do look like her. But the fact that he doesn’t remember...” He stopped himself.

  “That she’s dead, yeah. That surprised me, too.”

  He closed his eyes. “I’m so sorry about Renata.”

  “Thank you.” I thought back to the funeral. “The flowers you sent were very beautiful.”

  He looked at me for the longest time. “I thought about you a lot when it happened. I wanted to come home so badly, but I was afraid to upset you. I thought you wouldn’t have wanted me there. We hadn’t seen each other since…you know.” He hesitated. “So, anyway, I decided to send flowers.”

  “I’m not sure anything would have fazed me back then. I was so distraught.”

  Gavin reached across the table for my hand. “I’m sorry.”

  His touch sparked a feeling of déjà vu. Between that and thinking about my mother, my emotions got the best of me. When I started to cry, he moved his seat around to my side of the table.

  Then, he took me in his arms and held me. So natural. So Gavin.

  My body just absorbed his energy. It was a powerful feeling I couldn’t fully describe, except to say it felt like I’d finally found my way home.

  “This is the hug I should’ve given you seven years ago. I’m sorry I didn’t.”

  His words only made me sob harder. When we pulled back and I looked up into his eyes, they were filled with emotion, so much pain—a stark contrast to what he’d said earlier about not harboring any feelings. After he let go of me, my body ached for his touch.

  Gavin returned to his spot across from me.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve cried about it,” I said. “I guess seeing you again has brought back a lot. You were there for some really tough times.” I wiped my eyes. “I’m really sorry about what happened to your mom, too.”

  I meant that. As horrible as Ruth was to me, no one deserved to die that way. The only blessing about my mother going the way she did was that I’d gotten to say goodbye.

  “She treated you horribly, so I appreciate you saying that.”

  “I was devastated for you when I found out. I should’ve reached out, too. I heard about it on the news and sent flowers to your dad, but like you, I didn’t think you’d want to see or hear from me. I’d hurt you so badly.”

  “It’s okay.” He stared into his glass and swirled his wine. “You know, as terrible as my mother could be, things between us had gotten a lot better over the years. At the time of her death, we’d never been closer. So I take solace in the fact that—at the very least—she knew I loved her.”

  I suppose now wouldn’t be a good time to bring up the fact that she was the entire reason for our heartbreak. After what he’d just said, I wasn’t sure the truth would ever come out. I couldn’t taint his memory of her.

  He tried to lighten the mood. “So, here’s a simple question. What have you been doing for a decade?”

  “Such a simple question.” I laughed, taking a long sip of my wine. “The first few years after we last saw each other were all about my mother—taking care of her, making sure she had what she needed until the very end. After she passed away, that next year was a blur. Some time after that, I was finally able to garner the strength to enroll in school. I got my nursing degree, then got a job right out of college at the hospital. Over time, I realized I could make more money working privately, so I took a job with the agency I work for now. I’ve been with them almost two years.”

  I hoped that would satisfy his curiosity. I didn’t want to admit that while there had been a few boyfriends over the years, no one had come close to what we had. Gavin was the one who got away. My heart had never healed, the space within it reserved for someone it couldn’t have, never allowing anyone else fully in.

  He cleared his throat. “So, I have to ask...”

  My heart began to pound.

  “Do you still do jiu-jitsu?”

  My pulse slowed a bit. This dinner was like a roller coaster ride.

  “Yes, actually. But I’m no longer a student. I teach it.”

  He smiled wide. “No shit? That’s fucking awesome.”

  “It’s been my one constant stress-reliever all these years.”

  “I’m really glad to hear you’ve kept it up.”

  “Yeah. Me, too.”

  “And Marni? How’s she doing these days?”

  “Oh my God. She just had a baby!”

  “Really? That’s amazing.”

  “Artificial insemination. She’s still playing for the same team.”

  “I was gonna say.”

  “She and Jenny are still together.”

  “Wow. They stood the test of time.”

  “Yup.” And we ended before we had a chance to begin.

  There was a huge elephant in the room, and neither one of us was gonna touch it—no matter how curious we might be.

  “So, tell me about your career,” I finally said.

  “How much do you know?”

  “I know you’re not a lawyer, even though you were leaving for law school the last time I saw you.” I smiled. “And I know you started
your own company, although I’m unclear on what exactly you do.”

  He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “Yeah, so, a year after I went away to law school, I decided it wasn’t for me. As you can imagine, Mother was thrilled.” He chuckled. “I transferred to the MBA program, but even after graduating, I didn’t have a clear picture of what I wanted to do with my life. I moved to London and met two guys who were designing these robots that could do everything from assisting people who had paralysis to performing manufacturing tasks. I put up the capital to start the business, and the rest was history. Years later, I own one of the most successful robotics companies in all of England.”

  Wow. “That’s amazing. Congratulations.”

  “Thank you.” His eyes were glassy as he said, “Success isn’t everything, though. I’d trade it all to have my parents back.” He exhaled. “I don’t mean to talk about my father like he’s gone…but…” He sighed. “He was always so strong—my sounding board. It’s hard to still have him but not have that anymore.”

  “I understand how you feel.”

  “I know you do.” Silence filled the air as he looked at me long and hard. “I’m really glad you’re here, Raven.”

  ***

  I texted Marni and went straight to her house after leaving the Mastersons. It was nearly 10PM. I knew her daughter would be sleeping, and Jenny worked nights.

  “What’s going on?” Marni asked when she answered the door.

  I walked past her into the house. “He’s back.”

  “What are you...” She paused. “Oh shit. Gavin? Gavin came home?”

  “Yes. He’s staying at the house for at least a month.”

  “Holy crap.” She moved toward the adjacent kitchen. “Hang on. I need to pour a glass for this. You want some wine?”

  “No, I’m good. So glad you’re finding this entertaining, though. I’m freaking out.”

  Marni returned to the living room with a glass of white wine.

  She sat down on the couch across from me. “So, what’s his deal now?”

  “I don’t really know. We had dinner together after my shift ended—after the initial shock wore off, and after he understood why I was there.”