Salvaged: A Love Story

by Stefne Miller

  “Thanks for the suggestion,” he said sarcastically. “I wonder why I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Seriously, you think my problem is that I wanted to kiss someone?”

  “Well, yes.” It made absolute sense to me.

  “So you think this is about some pent-up physical desire that I needed to let out on someone? On anyone?”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “Argh!” He lay down on the floor and placed his clinched fists over his eyes.

  “What?”

  “You’re so dang frustrating! I swear it’s like you don’t get it.”

  “I don’t.” I didn’t get it. I was being honest.

  A distressed laugh escaped his lips. “How many times, in how many different ways, do I need to tell you that I like you? I … like … you. Riley likes Attie. Do you not get that?”

  “Uh, I guess not?” I asked a question more than made a statement. It was nice to hear that he liked me, but it wasn’t believable for some reason.

  “Why?” He took his fists off his eyes and looked up at me. “Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

  “Because.” I waved my hand out in the air in front of him as if I were showing off merchandise on The Price is Right. “You’re you.” I then waved my hand in front of myself. “And I’m me. Just me.”

  He bolted to sitting up again. “What does that mean, ‘Just me’?”

  “It means that you’re you and I’m me.”

  “Yeah, we’ve covered that already. Could you clarify a lot more?”

  “You’ve kissed girls like Tiffany Franks for crying out loud … freakin’ smokin’ hot swimsuit supermodel hussy.”

  “Whoa! Tiffany Franks? What does Tiffany have to do with us? And she is not smokin’ hot by the way.”

  “Oh yes, she is.” I shook my head in disgust. “Never mind. I can’t explain it to you.”

  “Try.” He sat cross-legged with his elbows on his knees and leaned toward me.

  “Why did you kiss me tonight, Riley? If you didn’t need to kiss somebody, then why did you do it? Why tonight?”

  “Whaddya mean?” He shook his head as his eyes squinted and his brow creased.

  “I mean why did you kiss me? Out of competition? Because you didn’t want Cooper to kiss me first?”

  Hiding half of his face with his hand, he sighed heavily. “Maybe a little.”

  “A little or totally?”

  “A little bit, Charlie. I mostly kissed you because I wanted to. The fear that Cooper might get to it first is what threw me over the edge and actually made me do it, but I’ve wanted to for a while now.”

  “I see.” I rolled my eyes and lay down.

  “Why are you rolling your eyes?”

  “Because this is a game to you.”

  “It’s not a game. I told you that. I thought we already had that conversation.”

  “It is a game, Riley! Because some other guy asked me out, Cooper specifically, you came in to stake your claim. That kiss was nothing more than a symbol of you trying to win a battle with Cooper Truman. Probably some type of retribution for the way he treated Melody.”

  He shook his head vigorously. “That is not true; you can’t say that.”

  “Isn’t it?”

  “No. I promise that’s not true.”

  “Yeah right.”

  “Argh.” He threw clinched fists into the air. “You’re so darned frustrating!” His elbows fell back onto his knees, and he buried his face in his hands.

  “I know, you already told me.” I sat up and then grabbed his wrists to move his hands away from his eyes. “What?”

  His face wore a sad scowl, but he talked gently. “As completely stuck up as it sounds, yes, I probly could call up any girl and get her to go out with me. She would probly kiss me and just about anything else I wanted to do with her. But that’s not what I wanted. I didn’t wanna kiss just any girl; I wanted to kiss you. I’d planned to wait. I thought there would be time.” His face turned pale, and he looked sick again. “I never dreamed that some other guy would come along and ask you out.”

  “Thank you! You’re making my point for me.”

  “What point am I making for you?”

  “That you didn’t think that somebody else would want me. Even you don’t think I’m pretty enough or sexy enough or whatever enough for someone to ask me out.”

  He shook his head as if he’d been given a small electrical shock and threw his arms into the air again before slapping his hands onto his face. “What? That’s not at all what I was saying.” His voice sounded exasperated. “I’m crazy about you, Charlie, but I swear you’ve lost your everlastin’ mind.”

  “You’re just now figuring that out?”

  He drug his hands down his face before shoving them into his moppy hair. Looking up at the ceiling in a daze, he talked to himself out loud. “Am I speaking French here and don’t know it? How did me saying I wanted to kiss her turn into her believing I don’t think she’s pretty? Somebody, please help me get through to this girl.” He covered his face with his hands again and took a deep breath. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you can be a total moron.”

  “I already know that.”

  We sat in complete silence disgusted with each other and unsure of what else we could say.

  Finally he spoke. “Okay, give me your hands.”

  “What?”

  “Give me your hands. We’re gonna try something.”

  “What?”

  “A technique we learned in counseling. It’s a way to communicate clearly with someone that you’re in a relationship with. We may not officially be in a relationship, but we’re on totally different planets right now, and we need to figure out a way to understand each other.” He held his hands out in front of me, palms up, and spoke in an encouraging voice. “Come on, give me your hands.”

  I slowly laid my hands on top of his, and he wrapped his fingers around them.

  “We’re supposed to look at each other when you do this.”

  “Oh, Riley, do we have to?”

  “Yes. Why can’t you look at me?” His voice sounded perturbed.

  “It’s embarrassing.”

  “It’s embarrassing to look at me?” Now his voice sounded confused.

  “Well, it’s uncomfortable.”

  “You’ll get used to it. Come on, look at me.”

  I could feel my face scrunch up and my bottom lip protrude. “I don’t want to.”

  “You can kiss me, but you can’t look at me?”

  “If I look at you, I’ll want to kiss you.”

  He chuckled. “Well, I won’t let you. Now come on, look at me.”

  I shook my head.

  “Please don’t make me beg.”

  Feeling sorry for him, I finally gave in, but it was painful. I’d never sat and looked at someone like that before, and I’m certain it was the most uncomfortable thing I’d ever done.

  “Okay,” Riley began. “What I hear you saying is that you don’t believe that I think you’re pretty. And, since I’ve been out with people who you think are prettier than you, I couldn’t have wanted to kiss you as much as I just wanted to kiss anyone. Is that right?”

  “I think so.” Evidently he was a good listener. “But you forgot the Cooper part.”

  “All right, then what I also hear you saying is that you believe that the main reason that I kissed you was because I wanted to beat Cooper to the punch and somehow punish him for how he treated Melody. Is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right, your turn.”

  He gave my hands a small squeeze.
<
br />   “My turn to what?”

  “Your turn to tell me what you heard me say to you.”

  “I already told you what I heard you say to me.”

  “Humor me please.” I rolled my eyes, and he responded by squeezing my hands more firmly. “You can do it,” he encouraged.

  “Do I have to say the ‘what I hear you saying’ part?”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s how it’s done. Just do it for cryin’ out loud.”

  “All right.” Gritting my teeth, I spoke slowly. “What I hear you saying is … ”

  He raised his eyebrows and looked at me intensely, willing me to speak.

  “ … you like me. God knows why, but you like me.”

  “You can’t throw in your own comments. Only repeat back what you actually heard me say.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Start over,” he instructed.

  I let out a heavy sigh. “Okay, what I hear you saying is that you like me and you wanted to kiss me because you were afraid that Cooper might do it first and that you could have any girl you want, but you don’t actually want any of them.”

  “Okay, now you ask me if that was correct.”

  “Is that correct?”

  “No, not even close. You don’t listen very well.” He sounded exasperated again.

  “Well, maybe you don’t explain very well.”

  “Okay, now I get to clarify,” he explained. “I’ll talk slowly so the dense girl in the room can completely understand.”

  “I doubt that insults are an approved part of the technique,” I whimpered.

  “I’m completely teasing, but you’re right. I’m sorry.” His thumbs sweetly rubbed the tops of my hands.

  My heart beat wildly. I needed to talk so that I could expel some of the energy that was building in my body. “When do I get to clarify?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to clarify; I got it right, and you said I understood you correctly.”

  “But I want to get to clarify.”

  “You can clarify later; let me clarify first since I actually have stuff to clarify.”

  “All right,” I conceded.

  He rolled his eyes at me. “Well crap, now I can’t remember what I needed to clarify. Tell me again.”

  “Riley!”

  “No, no, I got it. I got it, I remember.” He took another deep breath. “You were right about the fact that I said I like you. You were not right about the Cooper part. What I was trying to say was that I already wanted to kiss you and the fear that Cooper might do it first is what caused me to break my promise to myself. I wanted to kiss you.”

  “You said that already.”

  “Shush, you have to be silent during my clarification.”

  “Sorry.”

  He continued, “I wanted to kiss you anyway. Fear and desire got mixed in together with a little amount of losing my mind, and what it added up to was me kissing you tonight. It wasn’t a competitive thing as much as it was a fear that I would lose you if I didn’t act fast. I’m afraid that while I’m sitting around waiting for you to move out, Cooper or someone else might woo you away.

  “In my strange and moronic male mind, I thought that by kissing you it would make it darned near impossible for you to like anyone else. At least until I can compete on a level playing field anyway. If other guys are taking you out and kissing you and I can’t do the same because of some promise I made to myself, well then I’ll probly lose you, and I’m not okay with that. Does that sound reasonable?”

  “I think so.”

  “Okay, so what did you hear me say?” he asked.

  “You don’t want … what I hear you saying is that you don’t want someone else to come in and date me before you have the chance to date me too.”

  “Right.”

  “But I don’t feel like I’d be dating Cooper, I … ”

  “Please, one thing at a time. I’m not done clarifying yet.”

  “Sorry, continue.”

  “About other girls, I was making the point that I could have just about any girl, but I don’t want any other girl. I want you. I didn’t kiss you out of a desire to kiss someone; I kissed you out of a desire to kiss you. You specifically.”

  “Okay, what I hear you saying is that you didn’t want to kiss anyone but me.”

  “Yes. I didn’t and I don’t wanna kiss anyone but you.” He paused to let the statement sink into my brain before he continued.

  “Lastly, this whole pretty versus not pretty or who is or who isn’t pretty, it’s silly. I can honestly say that you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever known, and nobody comes close as far as I’m concerned.”

  I rolled my eyes and felt my face turn hot.

  “Charlie, I’m serious. You may not see it, but I do.”

  He stopped and waited for me to respond. “Is this necessary?” I complained.

  “Yes.”

  “What I hear you saying is that you … think that I’m … pretty.” I spit out the word and then covered my face with my hands.

  “And?”

  “Don’t make me say any more; it’s horribly embarrassing.”

  “Hey, I admitted that most the girls at my school wanna go out with me. Now that’s pretty embarrassing.”

  “Can I keep my face covered when I say it?”

  I heard him laugh. “I guess so.”

  I talked quickly from under my hands. “What I hear you saying is that you think I’m the prettiest girl you know.”

  “Why is that so bad to say?”

  “I don’t know. It just is.” This was now beyond uncomfortable. It was actually physically painful.

  “You’re hot, totally hot. I bet all the guys think so.”

  “Stop it, Riley.”

  “You’ve lived here less than a month and two guys are already after you. That’s got to say something.”

  “Enough, please.”

  “All right, I’ll stop. It’s true though.” He laughed as he gently removed my hands from my face and held them again. “Okay, you were trying to say something about Cooper.”

  “I was trying to say that I don’t see it as going out with Cooper. The thought never crossed my mind, so I never dreamed that’s the way he saw it. I mean, he hardly knows me; how can he want to ask me out that fast?”

  “I wanted to ask you after only seeing your picture.”

  “Riley,” I moaned.

  “I’m serious.” The sound in his voice confirmed his statement. “That’s why boys ask girls out. They like something about them, and they wanna spend more time with them to find out if there are more things about them to like. You don’t have to be totally in love with someone before going out with them; you just have to want to get to know them better. That’s the point of dating.”

  “I wouldn’t know that. Nobody’s ever asked me out before.” I felt like an idiot admitting the fact that nobody had ever been interested enough to ask me out on a date.

  “I asked you out, sorta.”

  “I know, but you asked me out after you told me you liked me. Cooper hasn’t said anything like that. I think he just wants to be friends. I’m someone to hang out with.”

  “Have you ever seen the movie When Harry Met Sally?”

  “No. Good grief, what are you, the walking movie encyclopedia?”

  “No, seriously. I’m ordering it tonight. It’ll give you a lot of insight into the male mind.”

  “That sounds scary. Is it a horror movie?”

  “Ha, ha.”

  “Are we done with this whole thing now?”

  “Not quite.” He grabbed my hands tightly so th
at I wouldn’t pull them away.

  “Oh, all right.” I was growing more annoyed with the entire process and wanted it to end.

  “I wanna apologize for the way I acted today.”

  “You do?” Oh no, as if I weren’t weak enough as it was, now he was apologizing, which meant my little war would have to end immediately.

  “Yes. It was uncalled for, and I never should have raised my voice to you like that. I’m sorry.”

  His voice sounded so loving that it made my heart start melting.

  “I was excited to see you because I hadn’t seen you all day. So when I walked in there and saw you talking to Truman, I freaked out a little.”

  I glared at him.

  “Okay, I freaked out a lot,” he admitted calmly. “It’s obvious that I don’t like the guy anyway, but when he mentioned you going to his house on Saturday and everything, I about lost my mind. I got angry and scared, and I took it out on you. I shouldn’t have. I’m really, really sorry.”

  “Thank you for apologizing, Riley. That means a lot to me.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ve already apologized to your Gramps, but I still need to apologize to the girls.”

  “You don’t need to apologize to them; they loved every minute of it.” I thought of them sitting at the clinic completely enthralled in the action.

  He gave me a small grin. “No, I do need to apologize. I don’t want them to think that I believe it’s okay for me to talk to you like that.”

  I looked down and watched as he stroked the top of my hands with his thumbs.

  “How can I resist you when you’re so darned sweet?”

  “Why would you be trying to resist me?”

  “Isn’t that what we’re doing here? Trying to stay away from each other until I move out?”

  “I knew I was trying to resist you. Do you have to make yourself resist me?” He sounded hopeful.

  “I’ll never tell,” I teased.

  “Uh-huh. Interesting.” He winked at me. “There’s one more thing to say, and then I’m done and we can go to sleep—or try to anyway.”