by Dayna Quince
Callen closed the door and went to stand near the foot of the bed where he could see her. He held a finger to his lips, directing her to keep silent. She did and they both waited there for a minute more. He went back to the door and this time she peeked as he opened it. She assumed he was checking the hall.
He closed the door. “It's clear,” he whispered.
Luna winced as she rose from her crouch, her feet tingling. “That was close. Who was at the door?”
“Seyburn,” he replied. “He's to the right of me. Theo’s tantrum knocked the painting off his wall.”
“Oh,” Luna said.
“Why don't I escort you back to your room.”
“That isn't necessary.”
“It is for me. I need to walk off some of this anger, or I might go into Theo's room and strangle him.”
“Well, I don't blame you. I feel the same.”
She gathered her bag again and walked to the door.
“Wait,” he said.
Luna paused, a ridiculous hope bubbling up in her chest that he might instead kiss her. She was almost just caught in his room. He was clearly upset by his brother, but all she could think about now was the present opportunity, as if she hadn't had enough chances already to do wicked things with him.
It wasn't enough. Would it ever be enough? Would she ever grow comfortable with the breathless feeling in her chest every time she admired his broad shoulders or the thickness of his thighs in his breeches? Would she ever get used to the cleft in his chin that could make her forget how to speak by just thinking of it?
Did such male beauty grow tiresome over time? Would she be plagued by this wanton desire?
She swallowed. Afraid he could read her every thought. Thankfully he wasn't looking directly at her. He tightened the sash on his robe. “I think I can change the bandage myself from now on,” he said.
Her stomach plummeted.
“It might not be as neat as yours, but it will be sufficient. I don't want to risk your reputation anymore. My brother, I don't trust him not to try to hurt you in some way. Just until his temper cools down. We should be more careful.”
“Oh,” she said lamely. She hadn't expected that. What he said made sense. But that didn't stop the bubble of resentment inside her from bursting into an all-out flood of anger toward Theo. Would he really try to hurt her? Not physically, of course, but emotionally. Having his brother and her caught would only ensure their marriage, unless he was certain his brother would not marry her. She would be left alone, ruined, facing the brunt of the shame. Was that what he meant about risk? Was he subtly implying their intimacy and attraction was only a temporary arrangement?
The future was still the same, as he said before. His duties as a spy never ended.
Her heart sputtered and then it may have stopped. She wasn't sure. All she could feel was a deep ache in her chest.
“You needn’t escort me to my room.”
“I'd prefer it.”
“And I prefer you didn't,” she said more firmly.
Their gazes locked.
She wasn't going to balk or hide her feelings from him this time. Let him see the pain. Let him see the anger.
“Please,” he said. “I'm sorry if all this has upset you. Just let me walk you to your room. You can even slam the door in my face, if you wish to.”
“I think that would defeat the purpose of putting distance between each other while your brother throws a fit.” She walked over to his nightstand and jerked open the strings of her bag, pulling out the extra pieces of bandage and the jar of salve. Setting it down on the table with a snap that could have shattered the glass container.
Luna cinched her satchel closed and swung it over her shoulder. “I think you can manage without me, don't you?” She didn’t wait to hear an answer.
“Luna, please,” he begged. “I'm sorry for everything that has upset you. I don't want you to leave this way. I don't want anyone else to change my bandage but you. I'm just trying to protect you.”
Luna froze her hand on the knob, but she didn't turn it. Her head bowed. “From what, exactly?”
“From anything, everything. Theo, myself, the other gentlemen—you deserve only joy and that's all I want to give you, but Theo is like a poison. I'm trying to change things, I'm trying to make it better. I just need a little time to figure it out.”
To figure what out?
Luna wanted to scream at him, but she bit her tongue. There was so much she didn't know, that she didn't feel she had the right to ask, but if they continued down this path, if she truly lost her heart to him, then she deserved an answer. She deserved to know everything about him, about Theo, about this mysterious business and why he was here.
And what happened to cause his wound.
Do spies have wives? Is that what he was trying to protect her from, the truth that this could never be more than an affair of the heart? She didn't know how to feel about that. She wasn't going to figure it out tonight.
“You’re right. Some distance would be good. I'll see you tomorrow in the breakfast parlor.”
Luna opened the door and slipped into the dark hall, half expecting all the gentlemen to be standing there waiting to humiliate her. But that was only fear talking, the same kind of fear that convinced one that monsters waited under the bed to grab her feet in the mornings, or that werewolves could be deterred by a glass of water by her bed. Silly, childish fears. Luna wasn't going to be a child any longer. She lifted her chin and strode back to her room without seeing another person, or any hints that he may have followed her.
But then again, he was a spy. So maybe he did, and she just never noticed it.
Chapter 17
The morning dawned clear and bright. The first excursion of the day would be sketching. He was stiff from riding yesterday with the other gentlemen, and he may have pushed himself a little too far. But when he changed the bandage that night, he thought the wound looked well. He replaced the salve in the injury, choosing to spread a dollop of it instead of stuffing the cloth inside because there didn't seem to be much room.
He placed the square bandage over and layered the strips around his stomach. By morning he’d done the same, confident it was the appropriate next step. The tea was a bit hard to make, but so far he hadn't poisoned himself. Below his wound, his body ached for different reasons.
In every room he entered, he looked for Luna first, but she was always busy with her sisters or reading quietly to herself. And he didn't dare approach her, not after the way she'd left him the night before. He'd hurt her and Theo had hurt her, and he just couldn't forgive himself for those actions, but he was at the end of his patience.
He was starving for her.
Just a taste of her attention.
A fleeting glance or smile would be enough to keep him moving toward what he considered his new ultimate goal. To marry Luna, to give her the life she deserved. Even though he had no idea how to do that, it would start today. Callen was going to talk to Theo and tell him that he wouldn't be leaving with him. He was going to make contact with the captain of the ship tonight, and by tomorrow his brother would be gone whether he liked it or not.
All he needed was the right location in which to tell Theo where no one would overhear Theo's arguing. Because his brother was sure to argue. He argued about everything, even when it was in his best interest.
Callen went into breakfast with a renewed purpose, filled his stomach with food that he could hardly taste because all he cared about was watching Luna. The chatter of the room filled his ears, but he barely listened. This growing obsession would be his undoing if Callen didn't find a way to speak to her soon. Finishing his breakfast, he followed the other gentlemen into the drawing room where sketch pads and pencils were supplied on the table for their excursion.
Sketching?
He was a terrible artist, but he would pair himself with Luna before any other gentlemen had the chance and then he could have her undivided attention. Callen didn't care a
bout drawing a damn thing as long as she was there with him. Perhaps they could take a walk instead and talk.
He quickly gathered up two books and tracked her down, sitting on the settee with the twins, Nicolette and Odette. He stepped forward and cleared his throat to gain their attention. She looked up, and her eyes flared with an awareness of him, but she quickly shuttered her emotions behind a mask. He didn't think her capable of such a thing. But perhaps she was learning to guard herself, and he hated that she'd had to develop that defense mechanism because of him and Theo.
Speak of the bloody devil.
His brother approached Nicolette and bowed before her, presenting a sketchbook, and she giggled delightedly. Callen ignored them and went to Luna’s side so she couldn't ignore him.
“Will you do me the honor of partnering with me for the sketching excursion, Miss Lunette?” He muttered a prayer in his head that she would not refuse him. She stared at the sketchbooks in his hand, appearing to think about it, and she glanced up and met his gaze.
“Very well.”
Not the most robust reply, but he'd take it. He'd take anything he could have of her.
Arriving at the meadow that the duchess, Violet, had picked for this sketching excursion, Callen collected a blanket from the footman and set out to find a lovely spot not entirely secluded, but far enough from the others they could talk with privacy.
This wasn't exactly a conversation he wanted to have in view of others. Callen wasn't sure what Luna's response would be. But he hoped when he said what Callen needed to say—when he laid out his heart before her that she would accept it and him, terrible brother and all. And forgive him for having put her in such an awkward position between the two of them. Callen would promise her that things would change, and Theo would no longer be able to come between them. More importantly, he would no longer stand in Callen's way to happiness. It all made sense to Callen now. Whatever he thought he'd missed in his past, he was glad of it. It led him to right now, and he knew he wanted a future with Luna. To be married, to have children, to have a life of his own.
It was time.
He was old enough now to appreciate the simpler things in life, to settle down and live a much quieter existence at his country estate, Briarwood. Callen thought Luna might like that too.
He knew she had a dream to become a real doctor, a recognized healer, but he wasn't sure he could make that happen. He would take any opportunity to make her happy, but that one particular dream might take some work and some research. Right now his most immediate goal was to make her smile. Drive her pain and hurt away and bring them back to the place where they had been before, when he had her underneath him on the bed.
But it soon became clear there would be no privacy. He scribbled a quick note in her book and handed it to her as they took their places, Theo and her twin sisters joining them.
He could wait a little longer if he had to for such an important conversation. For now, he would enjoy her company.
A light drizzle had begun to fall in the afternoon. Luna met Callen by the stables, as he requested, but they did not ask for horses to be saddled.
He took her down a path that led around the castle, holding an umbrella over her. This was not a side of the grounds she visited often. They were old ruins, and she'd never seen much charm in them. In fact, she'd been told most of her life that they were haunted. The remnants of an old monastery from hundreds of years ago had sunk into the ground like old bones of a great beast. The myth said there were secret tunnels from the castle to this location.
No one knew what those tunnels had been used for. Josie had made many colorful guesses. Some of them quite graphic. Luna pulled her cloak tightly around her. It wasn't the chill of the air that made her shiver but the coldness in her stomach. Callen assisted her down the crumbling steps into what was once a large room, but all that stood was a general outline of stones. One wall still stood with what would have been a large window that framed a view of the ocean. It was all somewhat Gothic and romantic, but she wasn't in the mood for romance.
She folded her arms over her stomach and took shelter against the wall, sitting on a stone where the rain could not reach her. Callen closed the parasol and ran his gloved fingers through his hair.
He was achingly beautiful even in such dreary light, and she began to catalog all his features. To memorize him, because it felt like this might be the last time, her last chance to do it. There was something fatalistic about the moment, the weather, and the set of his features.
He leaned one hand against the wall and stared out at the ocean.
"I've often wondered what happened here. I've tried to picture the people that walked through this building. What purpose they served, what were their names, who they loved…"
Love.
What man had ever admitted he was curious about love? She braced herself, preparing for a broken heart.
"I've made a decision," he said. He leaned against the wall with his shoulder and began to remove his gloves.
"What decision is that?" Luna asked.
"I want to stay. Specifically, I want to stay with you."
Luna's mouth dropped open. If it were possible, her heart might have just sprouted wings and began to flutter about like a baby bird that had discovered it could fly.
He wanted to stay with her? What did that mean?
She needed all the details.
"Stay? I don't take your meaning. After the party?"
He fidgeted with one finger of his glove, twisting it over and over. "My brother and I were going to leave England," he said. "After meeting you and coming to know you, I've discovered that my life could mean something more than just being my brother’s keeper, chasing after him, worrying over him."
Luna tried to suck in a breath, but her lungs would not work.
He was going to leave England?
How had she not known this, why would she have known this, and why had he not told her sooner?
Maybe he couldn't have told her, but perhaps something had changed or…
He had changed. Like her. His heart had changed.
Maybe he'd fallen as much as she had.
She clamped her hands together, afraid of the strength of the emotions inside her, a cacophony of sound, an out of tune symphony. She tried to block it out because she needed to hear him.
"I'm going to tell Theo to go without me. The ship you saw that night, it's waiting for us, but I'm going to make him go alone."
This must have something to do with their mission.
"But what about your mission?" she asked.
He shifted his stance. "The mission will be over once Theo leaves."
Luna took a deep breath, her eyes stinging with the force of the tears of relief and joy that wanted to pour from her.
"What does it mean if you stay?" she asked, her heart in her throat. And then she shot to her feet because she couldn't sit there any longer. She had to move, but what she wanted more than anything was to be in his arms.
"Yes, brother, I'd like to know as well. What does it mean if you stay?"
Theo stepped out from an ivy-covered wall that had been swallowed into the hillside.
Luna gasped.
Where had he come from? It looked as though he'd appeared from thin air. Callen pushed away from the wall. "Where did you come from? Were you spying on us?"
"That is what we do, isn't it? Spy? Isn't that the mission?"
Luna's gaze darted back and forth between them.
"I'm not sure spies can just quit being spies," his brother said with a snarl. "I'm sure there is quite a bit of paperwork involved, don't you think, brother?" Theo laughed and waved a hand as if to include her in his amusement.
"I think we would know that if we were actual spies. But you see—"
"Theo, don’t," Callen growled.
"We aren't spies at all. We don't work for the foreign office. He's been lying to you this whole time. He got shot stepping between my dueling opponent and me."
/> Chapter 18
Thunder rumbled in the distance. Callen's dark scowl did not waver from his brother, and just when she thought he'd forgotten she was there, his focus moved to her. His scowl changed to an expression of regret and that was all she needed to know that Theo was not lying.
This wasn't just another one of his tricks to upset the harmony between her and Callen. Why would he lie?
“Why?” Her throat burned.
“I didn't know what else to tell you that night.”
She thought back to that night, to the three figures on the beach. Two of them, Callen and his brother, doing perhaps something not so honorable as protecting England. She shook her head and backed away, but she had nowhere to run because he was closest to the stairs. All of a sudden she didn't recognize him, she didn't know who this man was, and her heart broke in half as easily as the snap of a twig. Tears pooled in her eyes and spilled on her cheeks, but she didn't make a sound. She was outside herself, watching Luna come apart at the seams with these two strangers staring at her in silence.
“It's because of me. It's my fault,” Theo said at last, and Luna focused on him.
“What do you mean it's your fault? What were you doing on the beach?”
“He's leaving,” Callen said. His scowl returned as he watched his brother. “If it's the only good thing you ever do, Theo, you will leave.”
And though he didn't look at her, Luna felt his attention move to her.
“We were on the beach, meeting with the ship captain, arranging for transport to France. We were both going to go, but I've changed my mind.” Finally, his gaze moved to her. “I'm not going to waste anymore of my life protecting him.”
Luna looked between the brothers. “What did he do?”
His brother chuckled, a sinister bitter sound that made Luna's arms erupt with goose flesh.
