by Dayna Quince
“I may or may not have killed a man, Luna, in a duel. You see, not because I'm a cold-blooded killer or that I even wanted to shoot him, but my brother here, in his foolish and ceaseless efforts to reform me, managed to interrupt the exchange. When he leapt in front of me, my pistol went off, and instead of shooting over Sir Kirby, I hit him. Kirby shot my brother.
His gaze returned to Callen, and the muscle in his jaw ticked as he glared at his brother.
“So you're leaving because of the duel?” She never heard of anyone getting in trouble for dueling. It was a matter of honor and men took that quite seriously, even though the act itself was illegal.
“It's his third duel,” Callen said. “If Sir Kirby dies of his wound, which we’re waiting to hear about, then Theo will be tried. The judge who will oversee his trial is Sir Kirby's uncle, and he knows it's not a first offense. If Sir Kirby dies, they could sentence him for murder.”
Now Luna understood. He was protecting his brother, removing him from the country, and he had intended to go with him until now.
Because of her.
Her heart started to beat again, a weightless warm light filling her, seeming to come from deep inside and spilling out into every fiber of her.
“So gallant, isn't he? But I suppose with a face like yours, any man's loyalty can be swayed.”
“You will not speak to her like that,” Callen growled.
“Go to hell, Callen,” Theo returned.
“Is it really her that you want or you just don't want to leave? I understand you're sick and tired of me. I am too but we’re brothers, and we’re in this together. Isn't that what you said? But now you will send me on my way, and you’ll what, stay here, marry her, start a little family of your own and forget about me? Mother and Father would be so proud.”
“Don't you dare mention them. You've done nothing but use their unconditional love to your advantage. Never once regretting the pain you've caused all of us.”
“So you make me leave?”
“If I have to row you there myself. You're getting on that boat, Theo.”
“And what if I want to stay?” Theo returned. “Let's say I've got my own reason for wanting to keep my feet planted firmly here in England. What would you say then? Would you deny me happiness if I had a reason as good as you think yours is for abandoning me?”
“Where is this coming from? For all I know you hate me. You never once thanked me for saving you again and again. All you do is complain. This is your chance to live your own life however you want to. Just take it. Why are you punishing me for giving you what you want?”
“You never once cared what I wanted, Callen. You just did what Mother and Father asked you to do. You don't care about me, but it's clear you're in love with her, so you'll toss me over the side like yesterday's stale whiskey.”
“Stop trying to play the victim. You've brought this on yourself. Just go do whatever the hell you want, as long as it's not on English shores.”
“So I'm exiled and you're going to live happily ever after with her? Well, I've got news for you. Marry her if you want to. I don't care, but I'm not leaving. England is my home too. I have my own reasons for wanting to stay. So if you're not leaving, neither am I.”
Callen lunged at Theo and Luna screamed. They fell to the ground with a bone-crunching thud, fists flying, and Luna pressed herself against the stone wall with nowhere to move. Suddenly the space seemed so small when two grown men were wrestling about trying to kill each other.
“Stop it!” she cried. “Stop it right now. You're killing him!” They rolled, Theo coming out on top, pinning his brother with a hand to his throat and his fist raised at his side, aiming right for Callen’s wound. Luna leapt forward and grabbed his fist, but he hadn't moved. His gaze was locked on his brother’s and they were frozen like that. Luna shoved at Theo's shoulder until he got off his brother, wiping his mouth and spitting blood on the ground.
Callen lay on the ground, panting, holding his side, his face sweaty and caked with dust. Luna dropped to her knees and began to open his jacket and waistcoat, pulling out his shirt. She exposed the bandage, but surprisingly after such vigorous movement, it was still in place. His wound was only bleeding through the pad a little.
She exhaled with relief and then turned to glare at his brother. “Do you feel better? Is this how you imagine mature adults settle disagreements? Dueling with pistols, rolling around on the ground, throwing fists like children—like common dogs?” She shook her head at him, her eyes burning with angry tears. “Do you truly wish to stay in this wreck you call a life, hurting people who have cared for you? It seems that's all you do, Theo. Hurt people. What good have you ever done for anyone?”
He pinned her with a startled glance and then backed away and disappeared up the crumbling stone steps without a word. Luna was breathing hard, her heart racing, her pulse pounding so fiercely in her veins that she trembled.
Callen took her hand and held it between his own, and she didn't know how, after facing the brunt of Theo's anger, that he was the one comforting her. The warmth of his ungloved hands seeped through to hers, so she could take a deep breath, and the tilting world stilled once more as she gazed into his eyes.
“So you're going to stay?”
He nodded. “If you'll have me.”
She sucked in a breath. “I beg your pardon?”
He chuckled. “Maybe it's the blows to my head, but you look like an angel right now.”
He winced as he sat up and bent one knee, resting his forearm. With his free hand, he cupped her cheek and leaned toward her, to the point where their foreheads nearly touched.
“When I came here, I had no idea my life could change so drastically in such a short amount of time. I thought my near future would entail sailing on a ship with my brother, not you. I never could have dreamed of you, Luna. But now that you're here, I'm here. I'm not ever going to let you go. Will you marry me?”
Luna sat back, stunned. “Marry you? I can’t possibly… I…” She shook her head. What he was asking of her was too much for her to answer right now. Something settled over his features, a mask as he hid his own feelings.
She’d just rejected a marriage proposal from him, a man she'd already fallen for, but after today, after learning of his lie, she just couldn't accept so easily.
“You lied to me for days. I mean, I understand the first night, but after…everything. Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Of course, I was always going to tell you. Here, right now. Then Theo—”
“Don't blame Theo,” she said.
“Now you're taking his side?”
“I'm taking my side. All this time we've been together, coming to know each other, you could've told me the truth from the first moment.” Her throat tightened to the point that she could barely speak. She swallowed. “You had ample time to tell me the truth, and you didn't. You say you were going to tell me now. Is that why you led me here? I don't understand, Callen. You've been lying to me since the first moment we met. How am I supposed to believe you now?”
“Believe me, because I—I care for you, Luna. I don't want to spend another day putting what I want behind Theo’s needs. I want to take care of you, not him. This isn’t easy for me to just let him go. He can’t go a fortnight without landing himself in trouble. Now that he says he doesn't want to leave, I can’t just watch my brother hang. Not even after today.” His gaze dropped to his hands.
“I would never ask that of you. And if you’d told me from the beginning, all of this would make more sense to me, but I can't get past the lie, Callen. The man I have been falling in love with has been lying to me the entire time. What am I supposed think, how am I supposed to feel about that? Because it feels terrible. It feels like I have my own bullet wound right here.” She put her fist over her heart. “I can't just let that go.”
“Your answer is no?”
“My answer is… I need to think about it, about everything that has happened today. I can'
t decide right now.”
He nodded, but she couldn't tell what he was thinking. Luna came to her feet and offered him a hand to help him up.
He peered up at her. “You really think you could lift me? I’m fourteen stone.”
Her hand dropped to her side. “I'm not going to leave you here just because I'm angry at you.”
He got to his feet with a grunt. They walked back to the castle, the mist having dissipated and spots of sun breaking through the clouds.
“Are you sure you'll be all right?” she asked as they reached the back door to the castle.
“I’ll fare well enough. I think I understand those invisible wounds you mentioned,” he said. He gave her a half smile. “They hurt almost as much as the real ones.”
Luna wasn't amused. Her heart hadn’t quite recovered, and she needed to be alone to think. They parted and Luna went to her room where she wouldn't have to worry about anyone seeing her cry.
Once inside, her tears fell hard, her chest opened up like a squall. Everything came rushing forth, waves crashing, emotions churning, tossing her heart this way and that, like a little sailboat unequipped for such a force of nature.
She cried for Callen because even though he had lied to her, he tried so hard to help his brother, and it might all be for nothing. She didn't know much about the law. As much as she disliked Theo for his reckless behavior and his selfish ways, she didn't want to see him die.
She didn't want Callen to have to see him die.
Not for something as erroneous as dueling. But if his opponent died as Callen said he might, she didn't see any other way but the noose for Theo. She couldn't imagine how she’d feel if it was her own sister that she might see hauled away to the Tower of London.
And then she cried for herself because even though he’d proposed to her, her heart was already broken, and she didn't know what to do. She was lost in her own stormy sea with nothing to guide her, not even her sisters. Just when she thought she had nothing left in her, her tears slowed, and her squall became a gentle rainstorm until she fell asleep in her bed.
She woke later to incessant pounding on the door that rivaled the throbbing in her temples.
“Come in,” she bid. She looked down at her wrinkled gown that she hadn't bothered to change out of yet, the hem dusty from the events in the ruins. In walked Nic, with all the fury of an enraged demigod.
“How could you say that to him? How could you say that to anyone?” Nic accused. “That's just cruel. I would never have thought you could stoop to such a thing.”
Luna frowned at her sister, rubbing her forehead. “I don't know what you're talking about,” she replied with a wince.
“I'm talking about Theo—Mr. Denham. Who else would I be talking about?” Luna shuffled off her bed to face Nic. “You have to stay away from him. He's not a good person. He… He…”
“He is a rogue, a rake, or whatever you want to believe, but I see something more than just a bad reputation. I see someone who needs a bit of kindness and a bit of forgiveness.”
“He has you fooled.”
“Then I’m a fool, but I'm also his friend, which is what he needs right now. Not to be treated like a criminal by his own brother. Lord Densmore has you fooled. What makes him so much better?”
Luna scoffed. “Do you even hear yourself? Has he told you what he's done?”
“Yes, he's told me about the duel, and why he was fighting it to begin with.”
“Why he was fighting it to begin with?” Luna had never even asked. She just accepted what Callen had told her. Theo was wrong to be doing what he was doing, and she supposed she believed it so easily because he was so…unrepentant in everything he did. But it seemed he was putting on a different facade for Nic, and she worried her sister was falling for him, the same way she had fallen for Callen.
Heavens. What was to become of them? She and her sisters were so out of their depth with these gentlemen. They did not have the experience to deal with them. Perhaps this party had been a terrible idea, and none of them were ready to interact with these men, let alone be courted by them.
Perhaps there was no way to better the Marsden situation. Mayhap their only option was to accept their fates and marry common men. At the very least, they wouldn't starve. A wealthy lord had proposed to her today, and yet she might be better off being a butcher's wife. Not that the butcher Mr. Trent needed a wife, as he already had one.
She shook her head. “I beg you, Nic. You cannot trust him.”
“And you trust Lord Densmore?”
“I…”
Did she trust him? Did she even know him? It had only been—she counted the days since the start of the party. But they had barely talked that first day. It wasn't until that fateful night when she'd be been caught searching for the Star herb near the beach that she'd had a real conversation with him. But it wasn't real because he’d been lying to her the entire time.
“I don't know who I trust because it's only been six days,” she said. “Do you trust Theo after only six days? What has he done to earn your trust?”
Nic stilled. “Point taken.”
“Just please be careful, and I will do the same,” Luna said.
Nic nodded. “So why did you say those things to him?” she asked.
“He needed to hear them. Whether he goes or he stays in England, he needed to hear it. If my own perception of him is true, which you have no reason to doubt that it is, then he could only learn from his pain, but he hasn't wanted to. He hasn't wanted to listen to anyone, and that was clear to me.”
“There's a lot of hurt between him and his brother,” Nic said.
“I noticed.” She turned away from Nic and went to her wardrobe to fetch a clean gown. She didn't have many to choose from. It would have to be the gray muslin for the evening. It wasn't technically an evening gown, but she wasn't in the mood to impress anyone.
Anyhow, she would save her best dress for the Kirkland garden party tomorrow.
“If they won’t face it head on or even talk about it, it will never be resolved. After today… I don't think it ever will.”
Nick strolled closer, picking up Luna's brush and combing out the tangles. Luna watched her in the mirror with new eyes. Could she tell Nic how she really felt?
Her heart clenched into a fist.
They were on opposite sides. It seemed Nic was clearly in Theo's corner. Luna felt like a hypocrite, telling Nic to stay away from Theo when she wasn't sure she could stay away from Callen.
“I feel so terrible for him, not having the kind of love we've shared with our siblings,” Nic said as she brushed. “It breaks my heart to think how alone he must feel. He’s so wounded and he makes me want to…pick him up and hold him like a bird.”
Luna smiled half-heartedly. “Fixing little birds is usually Georgie's forte.”
Nic grimaced. “I suppose I don't have a forte, do I?”
Luna reached up and touched her sister’s hand, enclosing it within her own. “You keep our garden thriving.”
“I don't have a strength like, you know, like Georgie, like Bernie’s…”
Luna let out a little half-laugh. “And what exactly is Bernie’s strength? Besides stirring up mischief and either enforcing Anne's rules or rebelling against them?”
Nic giggled. “I suppose that's true.” She resumed brushing and re-pinned Luna’s hair into a coil on her head. Luna stood to change her gown.
Nic frowned at her dress hem. “What the devil were you doing, kneeling in the dirt?” Nic raised a brow at her.
“I guess he didn't tell you. They fought, rolling around in the dirt of the ruins—and Callen, Lord Densmore, was shot trying to stop the duel between Theo and Sir Kirby.”
Nic’s expression changed, her skin growing a bit pale. Then she lifted her chin. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to dress for dinner as well.”
She left Luna without another word. It seemed Theo hadn't been very honest with her after all. Even though it hurt Nic, it was better t
his way. Before it was too late, before she lost her heart to that rogue and had it broken, shattered into pieces.
Chapter 19
It took Callen longer than usual to wash and dress before dinner. His side ached like the devil, but he tried to walk as normal as possible as he entered the drawing room. He hadn't seen his brother since their fight in the ruins, but as soon as he walked into the drawing room, they locked eyes and Theo nodded in silent question, concerned about Callen's wound.
Callen nodded once in reply. Did Theo feel guilty? That would be an improvement, but it wouldn't change anything. He was still going to push Theo to leave. He didn't see what other options he had, given Judge Blackwood's determination of late. It wasn't as though Callen's fears were unfounded. The morning of the duel, after the gun smoke had cleared and both he and Kirby were on the ground, James Blackwood had made it clear he intended to tell his father about Theo’s past.
“I’ll see your brother hang, Densmore. I know about all of his duels. I was there for two of them. He's mad, and he is nothing but a scoundrel. The world should be rid of him. My father will see to it. Your privilege won’t protect you or your brother anymore.”
There would have to be another conversation about leaving, but right now Callen was more focused on… He scanned the room for her, finding her sitting in a chair by the hearth, playing a game of chess with the dowager duchess.
She wore the same gray gown she'd worn before. She seemed so small and meek. He wanted to scoop her up, carry her from the room, and make every unpleasant emotion she was feeling go away, but at the same time, he was afraid of being rejected again.
He wondered what it would take to get her to say yes.
He couldn't fault her hesitation even though he knew she felt something for him. After today, seeing him and his brother brawl in the dirt, and after the lie he’d told her, of course she wouldn’t immediately accept him. But none of that made it sting any less. He'd never given much thought to marriage. His priorities had always been focused on his brother, the estate, on temporary moments of pleasure.
