Osmosis

by Susan X Meagher

  “You are good,” Ryan said, smiling.

  “And we both know there are about thirty women playing right now who are much better, Boomer.”

  “Thirty seems high,” Ryan said, “but I know what you mean.”

  “The things that bother me the most are big things … like Mia not being happy with where we live or with our roommates.”

  “She didn’t mention either item,” Ryan said. “Must not be on her mind.”

  “She’s been a trooper, Boom, really. Being in Colorado has been hard for her. The problem is that the last thing I need is to worry about her.” She leaned over and rested her chin on her hand. “It didn’t occur to me that having her with me would make my life harder.” She closed her eyes and shivered. “I hate to say it, but I’d rather she moved back here.”

  “Wow.” Ryan didn’t say anything for a few moments. “It’s that bad?”

  Frustrated, Jordan shook her head. “No, it’s not bad. It’s just … not good. She’s not happy unless I’m home, and that’s only a few hours a day. She doesn’t have any friends or any interests, and we don’t have enough money for her to go shopping,” she added with a short laugh.

  “I wouldn’t like being around Jamie if she couldn’t go shopping,” Ryan said, lowering her voice just in case Jamie’s hearing had grown substantially better in the last few minutes.

  “It’s little things like that,” Jordan said. “Nothing huge. And I hate to be so self-involved, but I have to be right now.”

  “Of course you do. Doesn’t Mia get that?”

  “Yeah, she does. But it’s one thing to understand and another thing to be the one who’s self-involved. She’s not as me-involved as I am.” She smiled wryly.

  “Can you tell her that you’d rather she moved back?”

  Jordan’s wry grin grew bigger. “Yeah. That’d go over great. I might not know much about being in a relationship, but I know not to tell a woman who had a major fight with her family over me to pack up and get out.”

  “I thought you could be a little more subtle. I’m not sure how, but…”

  “Right. There’s no way. We spent days arguing about whether she was gonna go to Russia with me. I just can’t spend that much time and energy on stuff like that. I know that makes me sound like a jerk, but…”

  Ryan put her arm around Jordan’s shoulders and hugged her roughly. “No it doesn’t. I understand, bud. I get just as focused as you do, and if I were trying to make the cut for something that meant as much to me as this does to you, I’d want to live in a cave. I couldn’t even stand roommates, much less a girlfriend.”

  “Yeah.” Jordan nodded thoughtfully. “That’s it. This doesn’t have hardly anything to do with Mia. It’s my need to focus. The little things she wants would hardly register if I was back at school.”

  “But you’re not. You’re at a critical point in a quest you’ve had for fifteen years. You might have to gut it up and tell her that you’d rather she leave.”

  Jordan was already shaking her head. “I can’t do that, Boom. Volleyball means an awful lot, but Mia’s more important. I can’t risk hurting her—and our relationship. I don’t know if she’d ever get over the rejection.”

  Thinking quietly for a few minutes, Ryan nodded. “I don’t think Jamie would either, if we were in your position. Sucks.”

  “Yep. Sure does.”

  “Wanna go find ’em?”

  “Yep. I miss her already.”

  They stayed up late; talking and catching up on all of the small details of their lives. Mia and Jordan got into bed at midnight, but Jordan asked Ryan a question and she and Jamie sat at the end of the bed and talked for another half hour. Ryan finally looked at her watch and said, “I’ve gotta get to bed. I’ll be dragging tomorrow.” She and Jamie got up and started to walk to their room. Ryan paused at the door and turned to look at her friends. “Now that the children are home, everything seems right with the world.”

  They went into their room and closed the door. Even though Ryan had said she was tired, she looked wide awake as she flopped onto the bed on her back. “Can we keep them? I love having them here.”

  Jamie lay down next to her and started to play with her hair. Running her fingertips across Ryan’s scalp made her partner’s eyes close. “I wish we could. I miss them so much. It seems so ... normal to have them sitting at the dinner table.”

  “Yeah,” Ryan said, her voice soft and low. “That’s when I miss them the most. Eating dinner together was such a nice way to connect and keep up with everyone’s day.”

  “Did you have a nice time talking with Jordan? I tried to give you two some time alone.”

  Ryan’s eyes blinked open. “Did you really?”

  “Yeah. I know you both talk more when you’re alone.”

  Grinning, Ryan asked, “If we’re alone, how do you know we’re talking?”

  “’Cause you often have a new perspective or information after you spend time with Jordan. I think she opens up with you.”

  “Yeah. I guess that’s true.”

  “So ...?”

  Ryan turned and smiled placidly. “So ... what?”

  “What did Jordan have to say? How does she think things are going?”

  “Not good,” Ryan said. She shook her head. “The team isn’t playing well and she’s afraid she’s not gonna get the chance to show her stuff if they don’t synch up soon.”

  Jamie slapped at her shoulder playfully. “I mean her real life. Not the team.”

  Blinking ingenuously, Ryan asked, “What’s a real life?”

  “Fine. You don’t have to tell me.” Jamie rolled onto her side and slid off the bed. “Mia and I have secrets too.”

  Ryan grasped her arm and pulled her back onto the bed, sprawled across her body. “That’s good, babe. Mia needs you to confide in. So knows she can tell you things that won’t get back to Jordan.”

  Biting Ryan’s earlobe, Jamie said, “Don’t be so superior. I wouldn’t tell you anything Mia said that she didn’t want me to talk about.”

  “I know,” Ryan said, grinning. “One more reason not to tell you anything juicy. I won’t get a good return on my investment.”

  “I’ll give you a return ...” Jamie bit a little harder, making Ryan squirm under her. She started to daintily touch various parts of Ryan’s ear with the tip of her tongue, not stopping until her lover was purring. “Are you too tired to make love?”

  Ryan paused, then smiled when she heard a squeal coming from Mia’s room. “I believe we’re gonna be up anyway. Let’s turn on some music though. I don’t wanna have a four-some.”

  “I love ’em,” Jamie agreed. “But not like that!”

  Mia woke from a deep sleep to find her partner gazing at her. Jordan was lying on her side, her head propped on her hand, her long golden hair swaying gently with the cool spring breeze from the nearby window.

  Hugging herself and grinning happily, Mia said, “Now this is how to wake up. In our bed, with the sun shining and our buddies here or someplace close. It’s nice to be home, isn’t it?”

  Jordan responded with a soft, moist kiss. She stayed right where she was and added another longer kiss. “I was just thinking about how good it feels to be here.” She shifted and held her head again. “I don’t really have a home right now. Since I gave up my apartment I don’t even have a permanent address. But being here reminds me that this feels like home—even though I’ve never officially lived here.”

  Mia gave her a beatific smile. “This is where we fell in love. What better home could we have?”

  “Do you think Jamie would really like us to come back here when I ... don’t have to be in Colorado any more?”

  Threading her fingers through Jordan’s hair, Mia looked into her eyes, amazed at the feelings that always burned in her chest when she gazed into the cool, blue depths. “I know they want us to come back. No doubt.”

  “You look happy. Happier than you’ve been for the last couple of weeks.”

/>   “I am.” Mia tightened her grip on Jordan’s hair and tugged her forward. They kissed for a few moments; Jordan pressing her weight forward and resting against Mia. They were both silent for a while, their heads sharing a pillow, eyes focused on the other. “I’m happy here, Jordy. But I need to be with you. You make me happy no matter where I am.”

  “Is that true?” Jordan moved back just enough to be able to focus.

  “That I love you?”

  “No, baby. I know how much you love me.” A smile borne of certainty settled on Jordan’s lips and she lay back on the pillow. “I want to know if you’re happy no matter where we are.”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Then why do you seem ... energized in a way you haven’t been?”

  “Well ... it was good to be with my peeps. I saw all of my friends and hung out with ’em. Now I’m filled up again and I can go back to Colorado and be with my sweetie.”

  “So ... coming here helped you ... right?”

  “Yeah. I guess I’d have to say it did. It helped to see my parents, too. And my grandparents.”

  “So ... it looks to me like being with me isn’t enough for you. You need some time back here to make you truly happy.”

  Mia sat up and gave Jordan a vaguely perturbed look. “What’s on your mind? I feel like I’m being questioned at police headquarters.”

  “No, no, nothing like that. I just want to understand.”

  “This is all there is to understand,” Mia said, pushing Jordan onto her back. “I love you, Jordan Ericsson, and I want to be with you every minute of every day. But we can’t always be together, and when we’re not, other people help boost me up. 20 of them help make up for your not being here.” She leaned over her partner and kissed her gently. “Barely.”

  “I think it’s more than that.”

  Snuggling against Jordan’s body, Mia put her hand on her belly and gave it a playful tickle. “And I bet you’re gonna tell me what it is, aren’t ya.”

  “Yep. I don’t wanna drop this until we both understand each other. I think you need to be here once in a while. Not just that it’s something to do when you can’t be with me. And I think you should decide to come here whenever I’m on an extended trip. I think it’s good for you and good for your family. And ... it’s good for me because I know you’re happy.”

  Still stroking her tummy, Mia moved her mouth just enough to be able to nibble and kiss around Jordan’s ear, something that always gave the taller woman chills. “I want to make you happy. I’d do anything to make you happy, Jordy. And I think you’re trying to make me more important than you. I know you were disappointed I didn’t go to Russia with you—”

  “I was at first,” Jordan admitted. “But once we got there I realized that Toni and Jill were right. It’s no fun to go on a trip like that unless you’re playing. It’ll be different at the Games because there’ll be lots of things to do and lots of parties and stuff. But a regular tournament is boring as hell if you’re not involved. I’m sure of that now, babe. Totally sure. And I barely had time to make sure I ate and slept. I wouldn’t have been there for you—at all. And that’s no way to travel together.”

  “No, I guess it’s not.”

  “So, make plans now to come back here during my next trip. It’ll be better for all of us.”

  “Jamie said the same thing,” Mia said, chuckling. “She wants me to make reservations so she doesn’t have to send me a last-minute ticket.”

  “Even Jamie hates to throw money away.” Jordan smiled at her partner, then kissed her, teasing her mouth open with her tongue.

  Mia responded immediately, wrapping her arms around her lover and grinding against her. “I’ve missed you,” she murmured. “I like you. A lot.” With a wicked grin, she crawled down Jordan’s body and captured a pink nipple in her mouth. Gently suckling, she relished the feel of the supple skin in her mouth. Lifting her head, she purred. “I’ve missed these. They’re nice.” She lifted her head and smiled. “They’re getting a little bigger. You’re starting to put a little weight back on.”

  “Yeah. I’ve gained two pounds.”

  Mia dipped her head and focused on Jordan’s breasts again, sucking and licking them with rapt attention.

  Her eyes were half-closed, and Jordan’s lazy voice asked, “How did you manage to go without sex all this time?”

  “I didn’t go without. I just thought about you and imagined your hand was touching me.” She climbed back up and licked all around Jordan’s tender ear. “But my imagination doesn’t come close to the real thing.”

  “Sex didn’t enter my mind,” Jordan said. “Not once.” She spent a moment kissing Mia, building up the intensity of her attentions. “But it’s making a comeback. Big time.”

  “That’s my girl.” Mia returned her kisses, managing to take Jordan’s breath away in a matter of seconds. “I missed you,” she whispered. “So much.”

  “Me too.” They kissed for another minute, their hearts starting to beat more rapidly. “Maybe having little breaks is good for us. God knows I can hardly keep my hands off you.”

  “Who wants that?” Mia giggled. “Your hands and every other part are supposed to be on me. Bring it on, baby. I’m ready for you!”

  When they finally emerged from their room, Jamie and Ryan were long gone. “I want to go to the volleyball offices and see if anyone’s around,” Jordan said. “Wanna go with me?”

  “No thanks. After she’s finished with class, Jamie and I are gonna go to a day spa.”

  “Ooo ... sounds like fun.”

  Mia’s smile brightened. “Come with us!”

  “No, I’d rather try to find some of my old teammates. I know where they hang out on campus. Then I wanna go to softball practice. Heather will be there and Ryan says Ashley’s usually there too.”

  “That’s cool. If we’re finished we’ll go to practice too.”

  “I’ll take off then. Are you ready?”

  “No way. I’ve gotta have breakfast, then I’ll make some calls. I can’t be rushed in the morning.”

  Ostentatiously looking at the clock, Jordan said, “You’re back in your Berkeley mode. It’s 12:30, honey.”

  Mia grinned happily. “It’s morning to me!”

  Jamie and Mia lay side-by-side on massage tables, both of them covered from head to toe in warm towels. Their faces were partially exposed, with each wearing warm packs on their eyes, adding to their relaxation.

  “I love a clay body wrap as much as a girl can love dirt,” Mia murmured.

  “I like this pink clay a lot,” Jamie said. “It doesn’t seem as dirty as regular clay.”

  “Such a prude.”

  “I’m not a prude. I’m clean. There’s a big difference.”

  “I guess so,” Mia conceded. “Our hour isn’t up yet, is it?”

  “We might be close. But we’ve still got other things in store for us.”

  “We do?” Mia’s voice rose in pitch. “What?”

  “We’re gonna have a citrus body scrub after massages.”

  “Ooo ...” Mia sounded like she was on the verge of orgasm, making Jamie giggle.

  “You’re easy to please, girlfriend. Just put you on a table and pamper you and you’re as happy as can be.”

  “That’s the key, James. Pampering is highly underrated.”

  “You didn’t even seem to mind having your legs waxed.”

  “I don’t mind it. I’m not crazy about the bikini line, but I’d never subject Jordy to stubble. That’s inhumane.”

  “I believe stubble is mentioned in the Geneva Convention,” Jamie joked.

  “Think Ryan will notice you’ve been plucked like a chicken?”

  “I have no idea. But if she doesn’t ask, I’m not gonna tell. She doesn’t have to know everything about me. A girl’s gotta have some secrets.”

  After softball, Jamie and Mia stopped at the market and bought dinner. Jamie didn’t want to spend their last night together cooking, so she bought cold cu
ts and various kinds of cheese along with two kinds of bread. She and Mia had everything arranged on platters by the time Ryan and Jordan got home. “What took you guys so long?” Mia asked.

  Jordan went to her and kissed her quickly. “We were talking to Heather and Ashley. Time got away from us.”

  “Go wash your dirty little mitts,” Jamie instructed her partner. “Dinner’s ready.”

  Ryan had to playfully dangled her filthy hands in front of Jamie’s nose.

  “Eww! They smell like dirty leather.”

  “There’s no clean leather involved in softball,” Ryan pronounced. “Be right back.”

  When she’d returned, Ryan had not only washed her face and hands, she’d changed into a golf shirt and jeans. Jamie didn’t comment, but she gave her a knowing glance and a wink, silently thanking her for continuing to eschew sweats at the dinner table.

  Mia and Jordan each took a platter to carry into the dining room. Jamie started to follow them, but caught a quick look at her partner. There was something wrong, but she had no idea what could have happened in the last few seconds to cause Ryan to look so sad.

  Ryan went into the refrigerator to take a beer and when she drew near Jamie she felt her belt loop snagged. “What’s wrong, Tiger?”

  Replying with an anemic smile, Ryan shook her head. “Nuthin’.”

  Jamie took her partner’s free hand and squeezed it. “You look sad.”

  Shrugging, Ryan looked away and said, “They’re leaving tomorrow.”

  “Ooo.” Jamie slipped her arm around Ryan and hugged her. “Makes you sad, huh?”

  Another shrug. “A little.”

  “Hey.” Reaching up, Jamie tugged on her chin, forcing eye contact. “A really smart woman once told me that she tried to live her life in the moment. She said she tried to enjoy each day because she knew the next day wasn’t guaranteed.”

  A smirk slowly formed on Ryan’s face. “Sounds like psychobabble.”

  “No way!” Hugging her even tighter, Jamie rocked her lover back and forth. “I believe everything this wise woman told me. I think you should try it. Enjoy dinner, baby. Let’s have fun with our friends. Don’t miss them before they leave.”