by London Casey
“About tonight,” she said.
“It’s done,” I said. “The kid has medicine. You’re home safe. Just like I promised. From here on out.”
Ashlynn nodded. Her eyes became glossy with tears.
“You want to hear about jail?” I asked.
“No,” Ashlynn said. “Do you want hear about me being pregnant?”
“I want to know everything about every day,” I said. “Every second I missed I want to live.”
And I meant every goddamn word I said.
25.
(Ashlynn)
He took me to bed with the rough gentle touch I had been fantasizing about for years. The way his hands held me. The way he stood me at the side of the bed, my back facing his front. The way he touched the bottom of my shirt and lifted. I shut my eyes and lost myself in the moment. My hair lifting and falling. The air in the room touching my bare skin, making me shiver. His hand touching the back of my bra, twisting, unhooking it. His lips then touching my shoulder where my bra strap had been.
Noah put both hands to my shoulders and squeezed. I sighed, melting for him. His thumbs dug into my skin and muscle, sliding to my neck. I put my head back, eyes still shut.
It was like a dream. But it was real.
He stepped back and ran his hands down my body. He came around my stomach and paused.
“When did you first feel him kick?” he whispered.
“It was a Sunday morning,” I whispered. “I had a really good night of sleep. I didn’t get much of those in the beginning. There was a lot going through my head and my body…”
I felt his lips touch the top of my spine. I sighed.
“Keep going,” he whispered. “I want to know everything.”
I licked my lips. “I had morning sickness. I was stressed. Depressed, too. Telling people was hard because it was such a shock for them. I was never that girl, you know? The one who would have a one night stand, get pregnant, and not remember who it was.”
His lips started to trail down my back. Inch by inch, kiss by kiss. It was like I was talking and he was kissing the regret and pain away. He was taking bad memories and turning them into our moments.
“So I woke up on a Sunday morning,” I said. “My mother always yelled at me for not going to church. I looked at the clock and grinned, knowing I was late for church. Not that I’d ever go. Just me being a little more defiant, I guess. I was on my back, staring at the ceiling. It was just… a perfect moment. Then I felt it. Like a flutter in my stomach…”
Noah was at my lower back. His hands touched the front of my pants and opened them. I looked down and watched him do it. His fingers then curled around the sides of my pants and pulled.
“… uh… so I… it was just a strange feeling. Deep inside me. I hurried to put my hand to my stomach and I felt it again. I just felt it. That flutter feeling. Like something almost tickling me from the inside.”
My pants were down to my ankles. Noah touched my ankle and lifted.
I stepped out of my pants.
His hands ran up the back of my legs, all the way to my ass. He then turned me around. I touched his shoulders and stared down at him. It was the first time I’d ever been taller than him.
“Thank you for telling me that,” he said.
His hands grabbed the top of my panties and pulled.
~
On my back, I instinctively grabbed the sheets and braced myself. I forced myself to look down at Noah, watching his lips climb up my right leg. He then skipped me and went for my lower belly. The tip of his tongue moved along the remaining ridges of the marks left by the pregnancy.
He didn’t care.
My greatest fear had always been someone rejecting me because I had a baby. Not just because of the baby but because of what the pregnancy did to me physically.
Noah couldn’t get enough of it though.
He kissed down between my thighs, his tongue gently flickering against my sex. That was quickly followed by another, then another. He went right for me, demanding me and commanding with his actions. That’s what made Noah the man he was.
Goddamn him.
His mouth eased over my body, taking all of me. His tongue pressed forward, penetrating me. As he curled his tongue, he softly ran it against the nub of my clit. It was such a welcoming feeling, and not just for the pleasure. It was the comfort from the father of my son. He was there right, bringing me to the edge of orgasm. When his tongue swirled against me, my hips jumped.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “Relax, sweetheart.”
There was no relaxing with his hot breath between my legs.
It was just a few more licks before he broke me apart. The pleasure mounted like a wave in a storm. My hips lifted off the bed as my back started to arch. I cried out, trying to bite my lip; I didn’t want to wake the baby.
Noah slid his hands over my breasts and cupped me, massaging me as his tongue continued to savor me. He was beyond good. He was perfection.
His lips kissed up along my soft body. He worked his way up to my chest. The moment his breath cascaded along my nipple, I felt myself tighten and fill with fear.
What if something happened… with… my boobs?
I grabbed at his shoulders. “Noah… if…”
“I don’t give a fuck,” he growled.
His mouth slid over my breast. He sucked hard, making me cry out. His tongue moved back and forth across my nipple. He made it hard and I suddenly couldn’t tell what my body was doing.
Then I heard him unzip his jeans.
“Oh, fuck,” I groaned.
Noah closed his mouth and pulled back off my breast.
“Fuck is right,” he whispered.
He tasted my other breast and lowered his body to mine. I was tender but still very ready for him. Or so I thought. He pressed against me, opening me, invading me in the hottest way possible. I wasn’t sure I could ever get used to that first thrust. That wild sensation of being filled to the brim but wanting more.
His mouth worked its way to mine.
We kissed as Noah started to fuck me.
He whispered one word to me. “Finally…”
Which was right. It had been a long year waiting for him, hoping for him.
Now he was here.
But for how long?
~
I got my answer the next morning.
The bed was empty other than me. I had curled up the night before, my head on Noah’s muscular shoulder, and had quickly fallen asleep.
I threw the pillow I was hugging and sat up.
I was naked, again.
When I got out of bed, I dressed and went to check on Jude.
He was awake, playing with his crib and exploring his hands and fingers. There was something really magical about watching an infant discover everything about life. From the way the ceiling fan looked when it was turned on down to his ten little fingers, everything caught his attention.
“Good morning,” I said.
His head quickly bobbed. His arms and legs kicked. I reached down and lifted him up. He looked tired still but not as sickly as the night before. I felt his forehead and it was a little warm.
“Are you hungry, baby?” I asked.
That was a silly question, not that Jude could answer it with words. But someday he could answer with words. He’d run around the apartment. He’d have toys, video games, comic books. Time would keep spinning and he’d trade all that in for girls, sports, maybe a guitar or something.
It was all I could think about as I fed. How fast time went by.
I carried Jude into the living and let out a gasp.
There was a stack of clothes, diapers, and wipes on the coffee table.
“What…”
There was an envelope with a note inside.
Sweetheart -
Couldn’t sleep. Went to a store to get the baby some stuff. Enough with the elephants. Let’s try some lions and skulls. If anything doesn’t fit, I’m sorry. Got him some diapers and
wipes. If he’s anything like me, he’s messy.
Oh, yeah, a little something for you…
Noah
I looked in the envelope again and there was money. A thousand dollars.
A thousand freaking dollars…
“Holy shit,” I whispered.
Jude swatted at the envelope and money.
“No, baby, we’re going to keep the money. And maybe your father, too. What do you think?”
Jude grinned.
We were both suckers for the fighter in our lives.
26.
(Noah)
I half expected hell to be waiting for me.
Benito smacked me in the mouth for a second time as two thugs held my arms down against a chair. I took the hits with pride. I could have easily kicked my foot into Benito’s balls and made him pass out.
Truthfully? I deserved it.
Benito flexed his hand and stepped back, leaning against his desk.
“Done?” I asked.
The door opened behind me.
Dante then came into view, fixing his suit jacket. He grabbed a towel and started to wipe his bloody hands. Shit must have been getting really bad in and around Benito’s crazy world. He looked tired and very worried.
I looked at Dante. “Friends, huh?”
“Loyalty,” Dante said. “Remember, Noah, this is my doing. My offering to Benito.”
“No baggage,” Benito said. “That’s why I loved you.”
“I didn’t know I had baggage,” I said. “I just found out. I’m trying to make sense of it. Can you get these assholes to let me go?”
“No,” Benito said.
I nodded.
I could take Benito throwing fists at me. I could take Dante backstabbing me. But I couldn’t take being held like I was a prisoner, again.
I stood up and kicked the chair back. Then I made my move. My right shoulder hit the first guy in the jaw. He let me go, grabbing for his jaw. Weak. I brought my now free right hand across and hit the other guy. I got him right on the bridge of his nose, which not only filled his eyes with tears but also sprayed blood everywhere, scaring the hell out of him.
The first guy tried to come at me and I stepped out of the way. He plowed into the other guy and they were both on the ground.
“I’m not going to be held like that,” I said. “Not after everything we’ve been through.”
Benito nodded. “Fair enough, Noah. Tell me what the hell is going on.”
I gave the basic rundown of everything I knew. I met a woman, fucked her, got her pregnant. Now her father was the guy we were after.
“Is the baby okay?” Dante asked.
“Yeah. Ear infection. Nothing rest and medicine can’t fix.”
“That’s good,” Benito said. “So you’re telling me that this woman’s father used her address… to fuck with me? You just trust her?”
“Maybe I do,” I said. “There’s nobody in the apartment. I’ve been there enough, trust me.”
“Jumping right back into bed,” Benito said. He shook his head. “You mess with that shit and it gets to you. Why do you think I make them get on their knees? Keep their mouths full so they don’t fucking talk.”
“She’s the mother of my child,” I said. “I wasn’t there for the entire thing. I missed it all. And she’s on her own. Her mother has cancer and is dying. I’m telling you, Benito, there is no connection between her and her father.”
Benito looked at Dante.
So I looked at Dante.
“Do you have something add?” I asked.
“No,” Dante said. “I believe you, Noah. I’m glad your son is okay.”
“Me too,” I said.
“So what’s the plan?” Benito asked. “Craig owes money. He’s leaning on his daughter. And her son, obviously. So there’s only one thing that makes sense.”
“Which is?” I asked.
“They pay.”
My hands tightened up into fists. I felt the rage soar throughout my body. I shook my head. “No. No way.”
“Look, if I’m going to do this the right way, that’s how it goes. I take what I need to take to prove my point. If I get her and the kid, I get leverage.”
“He doesn’t give a shit about her,” I yelled.
“You don’t know that. Don’t let a little sweet pussy cloud your mind, Noah.”
My right fist moved back. I really thought about hitting Benito. If I did, he’d go flying over his desk.
“Let’s keep talking,” Dante said. “We’re not going to hurt your girl or your son, Noah.”
“How the fuck do I know that?” Noah asked. “She’s struggling to survive.”
“We’ll protect her,” Benito said. “Maybe she’ll remember something when she’s brought in.”
“Let me do it,” I said. “Let me talk to her again. Christ, Benito. I got out of jail and you put me right to work. She’s got my son. I just met the damn kid. Then I’m attacked by some assholes in a black van.”
“That’s been settled,” Dante said and nodded to the bloody towel.
“Then I had to help her with a work issue,” I said.
“Where?” Benito asked.
“Ricky’s place. There was a situation.”
Benito laughed. “She’s pulling you right in.”
“I’m trying to be there for her.”
“Emotions and baggage aside, we know what needs to be done. For you, Noah, I’ll hold back just a little. Goddamn me for doing it.” Benito put a hand to my shoulder. “So here’s your choice… either I get Craig or I get your woman and your kid. I’m breaking my own protocol now, Noah. Get it?”
“Yeah, I get it.”
“I’m not fucking around. You have a kid? Congrats. Good for you. But you’re supposed to be the reliable one, Noah. The one who wraps it up when he fucks a woman. The one who has no care in the world other than himself and his dick. Now you’re a family man? Going to beat up every guy that looks at your woman? Going to fight people at the hospital because your kid is sick?”
“You heard about that?” I asked.
“I got a few phone calls about it,” Benito said. “Apparently one of my guys came into the hospital with a sick baby and threw my family’s name around.”
“I’m sorry about that. But he was sick. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Now I’m telling you what to do,” Benito said. “Find Craig. I’m getting him or your family. You decide.”
Benito then circled around his desk and sat down. A second later Dante went to him and leaned down, whispering something into his ear. Benito looked away from me as Dante whispered to him.
This was what it had become.
Me on the outside even more.
“Secrets, huh?” I asked.
“Noah,” Benito said. “Your return to fighting is coming. The details are being worked out. You have an opponent. My advice would be to find Craig and start training. There’s a lot of money being tossed around for this fight. Strange as it is, it’s almost split. A lot of people don’t think you can do it anymore. You’ve lost your touch.”
I curled my lip. “Stand up then, Benito. Come back here. Let me show you.”
Benito grinned. “That’s the fighter I’ve been looking for. Now go get ‘em.”
I kept a straight face but inside I was burning up.
Ashlynn and Jude were in danger.
And I had nobody to rely on but myself.
27.
(Ashlynn)
I was getting used to being the parent for a three month old baby. I was not prepared to be a parent for a sixteen year old.
Leah showed up in tears.
Jude was in my arms, bundled up, his little body working so hard to take care of the ear infection. I’d given him something to eat, gave him some medicine, and now I was just waiting for him to fall asleep. As long as he stayed hydrated and got lots of sleep, he’d be fine. His pediatrician had called me, which shocked me. Apparently the doctor from the hospital took it u
pon himself to personally contact the pediatrician to make sure everyone was in the loop. All of that happened because of Noah and his wild attitude.
When I put Jude down, he fell right asleep.
I returned to the living room and Leah was holding a cigarette.
“Don’t do that,” I said. “What’s wrong?”
“Just… life,” she said. “My mother broke up with her boyfriend. So he came back last night to get some stuff. I was the stuff, Ashlynn. He said things. He offered…”
My mind went to Noah. If I told Noah, he’d go after the guy. But what would that teach Leah?
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“Then Jeremy is acting like an asshole. I think he likes someone else.”
“That sucks,” I said. I moved some of clothes off the coffee table and sat down. “That really sucks. But you’re a good kid, Leah. And remember that. You’re a kid. You don’t need to fall in love today or tomorrow. If someone is bothering you, like that guy, you can talk to someone. The police can help you. I can be there with you and for you. I’m…”
There was a knock at the door.
“Damn, give me a second,” I said. “Don’t move. No cigarettes, Leah. No bullshit. Okay? This is my apartment. You’re safe here. You can stay here and collect yourself. Nothing bad can happen while you’re here.”
I went to the door and opened it.
Three men with guns rushed inside…
28.
(Noah)
“Just get it over with.”
I swung and hit Dante in the mouth. He flew back and hit the wall. He grabbed his jaw and stumbled to the left, cursing. My right fist was still tight, ready to deliver more.
“You asshole,” I said.
Dante turned, wiping blood from his mouth. “It’s my job, Noah. You were supposed to find Craig. I’m sorry you have a situation now, but this is important.”
“I wouldn’t lie,” I said. “That apartment is clear of him. He’s using Ashlynn’s address. I’ll find out why. I’ll find out where he is. But now I have to walk around looking over my shoulder.”
“We grew up the same, bro,” Dante said. “I moved up. You need to move on.”
“Go fuck yourself, Dante. You can be Benito’s bitch, that’s fine. Me? I’m going to fucking fight. I’m going to earn the way I’ve always known. And, yeah, I have a situation now. I have a kid. I’m not going to do to him what our fathers did to us. You sold me out, man. I didn’t want to tell you a thing but I had no choice. You used that against me. I understand why, I really do. But friendship?”
