by Tshombe
“You looking for somebody?” A voice called from behind.
Startled, scared, and in need of a drink, she turned to see her future. A woman just like her, only older and with a healthy, happy face full of peace and love. “Um, no I’m not looking for anyone. I’m just passing through.”
“It’s kind of late to be passing through. This neighborhood can be dangerous at night. Are you sure you’re alright?”
The small gesture of kindness was something Shannon hadn’t felt in a long time. The sincerity in the woman’s voice and eyes was so overwhelming that Shannon couldn’t hold back her tears when she tried to answer. The woman moved slowly with her arms open to embrace her. When she reached her, the woman wrapped Shannon in the warmth of security, melting more tears from the young girl’s eyes.
“It’s gonna be all right sweetheart. You’re safe now. Everything is going to be alright.”
Shannon went to the woman’s house and, for the first time in years, ate a dinner that she did not have to prepare herself. Shannon felt wrapped in a cloud, wearing warm pajamas under a soft blanket. The woman tucked Shannon into a comfy bed before asking her if she needed anything else. Looking deep into the woman’s eyes, Shannon saw so much love she couldn’t help but smile, the first time in years she has done so without the aid of alcohol. The woman leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead.
“I’m glad to see your spirit is happy. You have a good night’s sleep and we’ll talk in the morning. If you need anything, I’m right down the hall. Good night.”
“Good night.”
After the woman left, Shannon laid awake for a while, afraid to go to sleep for fear it was all a dream. Then it struck her, something she’d forgotten. Out of bed, Shannon quietly crept down the hallway to the woman’s room. It was dark, and the house was quiet. Every step seemed to creak on the wood floor. At the opening to the woman’s room Shannon knocked and stood frozen in the doorway. The woman turned to look.
“Is everything all, right?” The woman asked.
Shannon stood there, embarrassed. “Um – um I forgot to, um tell you. My name is Shannon.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” the woman said, “my name is Claudia.”
The morning came quickly, and Claudia woke Shannon with breakfast. The smell was delightful to her senses. A feeling of warmth embraced her as if she was home.
While eating breakfast, Shannon’s smile grew larger and deeper. She found herself giggling here and there with absolute joy. She could barely contain herself from jumping up and down with laughter. Claudia smiled at the joy Shannon expressed.
“I see your spirit is happy,” Claudia said. “Is there anything you would like to talk about? I will help you with whatever I can.”
Shannon’s smile faded as reality snuck back into her head; her parents, her school, and her life started to blind her with tears. Claudia’s gentle arms wrapped around her.
“Stay present in this moment. Right now, you are away from what’s hurting. You are in a safe place to face it. Be present. What are you running from?”
In the moment Shannon realized she wasn’t with her parents, her school, or her loneliness; she was safe, and it was time for her to heal. Time for her to talk through the tears and pain. To find the truth’s presence.
“The place I come from is full of pain. Last night I finally left that place and found you. I’m so afraid that this is only a dream, and that soon I will wake to find myself back in the place I left before we met. I’m scared, Claudia! I’m scared!”
“Shhh…” Claudia soothed Shannon while stroking her hair. “There’s nothing to fear here. I will not leave you and I will not send you back to the place you came from. You are welcome to stay here as long as you like. Please consider this your home.”
The tears pouring from Shannon’s eyes, began to change. Instead of heavy sadness, they were filled with joy. Her pain drifted away, and with each cry her wounds were cleansed by tears of salvation. She was free.
Months of good times followed that day. Shannon’s new home was a place of comfort and joy. Seeing Claudia’s face and hearing her words was something Shannon always looked forward to. Shannon had no desire to leave, no reason for stress; everything she needed or wanted was with her. Most mornings were spent gardening in the backyard, tending to the flowers, fruits, and vegetables. Claudia taught her how to make dishes from clay and weave her own clothes. Shannon learned how to truly live in this world, not just survive.
Shannon and Claudia’s life became a beautiful routine until one evening when Claudia disappeared. Shannon was terrified that Claudia had abandoned her. All her fears of the past flooded the moment. As dawn approached, Claudia crept through the door; a crown of flowers upon her head. Shannon, eyes red and puffy, inquired, “Where have you been?”
Claudia smiled and said, “I have been traveling in the light of darkness.”
Shannon stopped crying and with a puzzled expression asked, “What does that mean?”
Claudia smiled again and said, “One day you will know. It’s time for bed.”
The disappearances continued without further word or question, until one especially odd day.
Shannon was working in the garden, tending to the flowers like normal, when Claudia came out holding one of the flower crowns she always returned home with after her travels in the light of darkness. She set the crown down next to Shannon.
“I want you to make some of these,” she said while picking fresh flowers from the garden.
“Ok, just show me how,” Shannon replied innocently.
Claudia knelt down with the flowers and began to weave the flowers together; soon they reveal themselves to be a beautiful garland. Shannon watched intently, studying how to make the flower ring. When Claudia was done she placed the finished crown on Shannon’s head. The young girl repeated what she’d seen, and before long she’d made a dozen rings. Claudia called her into the house for dinner. Shannon rose from the ground, as if possessed by a great spirit, and began to dance, imagining she was a princess in a ballroom. Even after eating dinner with Claudia she twirled and danced for her audience, the flowered crown still atop her head until she was claimed by sleep.
“Wake up, young Shannon,” Claudia’s soft whisper beckoned. “Wake up. It’s time for you to travel in the light of darkness.”
The moon and the stars lit the night sky above her. How did she get outside? She looked around to see that they were in a forest surrounded by people dressed as trolls and fairies, all wearing flowered garlands on their heads. Too afraid to say a word, Shannon lay speechless. Claudia smiled.
“There is nothing to fear here, young Shannon. We are all friends. Just as I care for you, they also care. Just as you were lost, and I found you. I was once lost, and they found me. You were brought to us, young Shannon by a force that even I cannot explain with words. Isn’t that right, Chris?”
Shannon looked to see the horribly burned man from the park, whose words drove Shannon to leave her old home. How could this man be standing next to Claudia? He was speaking but Shannon couldn’t comprehend the words. Her attention had been captured by a looming shadow.
A man emerged from the darkness. His face emanated peace and wisdom; his eyes soothed Shannon’s uneasy emotions.
“Hello, Shannon. My name is Shadow, and I travel behind the light in search of lost souls. We’ve all been eagerly waiting to meet you and bask in the beauty you radiate. Tonight, we mark and celebrate your oneness. Do not be afraid. We are all just as you are and once just as you were. The flowers you’ve grown in the garden drape our heads. The rings you made have been given to certain people among us.”
Shannon looked around. “Yes, you’re wearing one of the rings I made and so is Chris.”
“Let us celebrate!” Chris shouted.
The crowd of costume creatures erupted in cheers.
“Come, allow me to take your hand.” Shadow said extending an open palm.
Shannon reached to accept his invitation. They walked toward a circle of stones through soft grass, which gently folded beneath their feet. Every step for Shannon became a different experience of the moment. A future she saw getting closer. Her guide released her hand to seize the power of her choices. Shannon stood in the center of the stones with Shadow while the others lined its perimeter.
“Can you feel the energy of the moon?” Shadow enquired, backing away from her, “look at the moon, young Shannon. Look at the moon and feel its power.”
Looking at the bright blue moon she became lost in its beauty. It seemed to grow and move closer. It is alive! Moving in a circle, drawing her energy, absorbing her weight until her feet no longer touched the ground; the soft blades of grass no longer beneath her.
“Feel free, young Shannon. Travel the light of darkness. See yourself as a formless being created by this universe to travel its moments of space and time. You have no origin or final destination. You have always been and always will be. This form you possess is merely a phase in your existence. Feel your inner and outer connection to the universe. The spirit of creation is inside you and all around you.”
The force that lifted her from the ground took her away from form. A soothing, melodic hum lulled her.
Shannon woke with the morning sun, the crown of flowers still atop her head. She was in the same place she had danced herself to sleep the night before. Was it all a dream? She had to know if it was real.
“Claudia! Claudia,” Shannon yelled out, running to the older woman’s room. “I had this wonderful dream that we traveled the light of darkness and I met all of your friends to celebrate my healing.”
Claudia said nothing. She didn’t even acknowledge Shannon’s presence in the doorway. She just stared at her reflection as she stood in front of the mirror, as if nothing else existed.
“Claudia! Claudia, is everything ok?” Shannon asked with concern.
“I’m fine,” Claudia said without turning to look at her. “Please leave. I’ll be out in a moment.”
“Okay Claudia, I want to tell you about this dream I had.”
“It wasn’t a dream. Please close the door behind you.”
Shannon closed the door, reminded of her old life. At least it wasn’t a dream.
Claudia emerged a few minutes later and began making breakfast. Shannon watched her from outside in the garden feeling better knowing Claudia cares about her. She had burst into her room without even saying hello or good morning. Who responds well to something like that? She put down the gardening tools and returned to the house.
Claudia was humming and singing while making breakfast. “Good morning, Shannon! Hurry and get washed up. Breakfast is ready.”
After quickly washing up Shannon returned and Claudia waiting for her with a smile.
“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” Claudia asked.
“Yes! Yes, I enjoyed myself a great deal. At first I was afraid because I didn’t know how we got there but as time went on I truly felt at peace and nothing else mattered.”
“Yes, I was afraid too, the first time I met the great Shadow at the Circle of the Moon. I came to the light of darkness the same way as you.”
“You did?”
Claudia laughed at the young girl’s innocence. “You have a very beautiful spirit young Shannon. The first of our group to be with the great Shadow was Chris. He and Shadow have been together for many moons. The next to join was my teacher, Crystal.”
“Was she there last night?”
“No, young Shannon. Her consciousness passed from that form many years ago. Many years of suffering and abuse before meeting the great Shadow claimed that life.”
“Oh, I’m – I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Do not be sorry young Shannon. Her existence was at peace before she left this world, and that’s what’s important.”
“I wish I could have met her.”
“You have already met her through the energy and teachings she has passed to you through me. Let us finish breakfast so that we can start preparing for the next moon.”
“All right!”
They ate for a moment in silence. Then, “Claudia?”
“Yes, young Shannon?”
“I’m – I’m sorry for coming into your room like that this morning. Please forgive me.”
“All is forgiven young Shannon. Eat your food.”
The next moon arrived, and Shannon was ready with plenty of flower rings and plenty of rest behind her. Not wanting to miss anything she sat in the dark, waiting with a smile on her face.
Tap, tap on the windowpane. Tap, tap on the windowpane again.
Claudia rushed in from her bedroom. “We must go, young Shannon. The light of the darkness awaits us.”
Shannon looked around to see if she could find who had tapped on the window as they left into the night. They made their way through the dense forest to a clearing where the others were gathered. Everyone sat silently, still and frozen. Claudia put her finger to her lips gesturing to stay quiet and then pointed to an area for them to sit down. Shannon smiled with delight, occasionally catching the eyes of others who smiled back at her. Shadow and Chris appeared from the forest. They walked around, greeting each in attendance with focused silence. Once they had traveled to every person, Chris raised his hand and, speaking in a whisper, he began.
“Why do we have to be so quiet, Claudia?”
“So as to be aware of any attention we may have drawn to our travels.”
“Is it bad if a stranger discovers us?”
A brief pause as Claudia considered the question.
“I can’t say whether it would be bad or good. What I can say is our meetings are very private, and no one should take that for granted. The great Shadow is getting ready to speak.”
The wise man with peace in his eyes stood proud as everyone gathered around him.
“What some call God and the Devil, good and evil, we call life. The cycle of life is a constant struggle between counterparts. These opposing forces move existence and at the same time create diversity. We see this clearly throughout existence. Whenever we are pulled to one side, the other furiously attempts to pull us back. That is why we are here. Who will be our next seeker?”
Looking around Shannon noticed that everyone’s hands were raised high in the air.
“I see we have a volunteer. Young Shannon, please stand and step forward.”
She stepped forward embarrassed to be brought to the center, wondering what a ‘seeker’ was.
“Shannon, we look forward to seeing what you have to give. Chris, please explain to young Shannon what her duties will be.”
“Come this way, our young seeker.” Chris said.
Slowly she walked toward him as the rest of the group looked on.
As he sat down on a tree stump he said, “Your duties are not very difficult, the most important thing to learn is to spot. You must learn how to spot who can potentially be rescued from the clutches of a slanted perspective. Some people live in their own personal nightmare and simply don’t know how to wake up; some don’t even know they’re asleep. Those are the ones you look for. You don’t want to grab someone who knows the nightmare and enjoys it because they can pull you away from your perspective. It is very important to choose wisely. Do you understand?”
Hearing the duties Shannon found herself excited, but there was one thing she had to know. “Um, Chris. I understand the duties, and I see the importance of this work, but I don’t understand why I’ve been chosen to do this.”
The disfigured man laughed thinking of how many times he’d heard this. “Oh, young Shannon, just by making that statement you’re going to do fine. We all became seekers after our first moon of healing. You are one of us.”
His words did little to reassure her. She breathed a sigh of reluctance and gently embraced him.
“Oh yes, young Shannon. You are one of us!”
/>
The next day Shannon was working in the garden as usual when Claudia came out.
“Shannon! You’re not supposed to be here right now.”
The young girl looked up with fresh earth for seedlings in her hands. “What do you mean, Claudia?”
“You’re supposed to be seeking! You must get ready and leave at once. You may have already missed someone.”
Feeling the urgency Shannon jumped up and hurried to get dressed. Within moments she was ready for the world. Claudia’s bedroom door was closed when she came out. Shannon tried the knob, but it was locked.
“Claudia?” She called, lightly knocking on the door.
Silence.
“Claudia?” She said again, not sure if she spoke loud enough the first time.
Still, silence.
“Claudia?” She said even louder, knocking harder on the door.
“Shannon!” Claudia yelled, “please go. You should be seeking right now.”
“I’m – I’m sorry Claudia. I just wanted to say goodbye.”
Silence.
Shannon left feeling she had done wrong, and for the first time since meeting Claudia, Shannon entered the world without her. Drifting away from the neighborhood, she tried to focus on seeking but everyone she saw seemed to be a candidate. The business woman and her troubles, the homeless man and his troubles, everyone on the street seemed to be lost.
Shannon returned home at night feeling worse than when she left. Opening the unlocked door to their home she found a smiling, singing Claudia preparing dinner.
“How was your adventure?” The older woman asked warmly.
Claudia’s effervescent energy caught Shannon off guard.
“Oh, young Shannon, your spirit has been injured. What happened?”
Shannon had been on the verge of tears before Claudia had said a word. One look at the woman brought Shannon to her breaking point.
“Claudia! I let you all down. I couldn’t find anyone. Everybody looked the same. I’m not ready. I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, young Shannon, do not cry. You have done nothing wrong. In fact, you have done exactly as you were supposed to do.”
