Glossy Lips

by Barbara Silkstone

  They both wanted to know more, but I dodged their questions. “I’m connecting the dots. I’ll tell you when the picture is complete.” I should have exercised more caution in Jaimie’s presence, but I was eager to pacify them, and the words were out before I could suck them back.

  “Would one of you please tell me about the mirror? Don’t keep me in the dark!”

  Jaimie adjusted her unwrapped wraparound dress with trembling hands. “I need a drink.”

  I noticed a sheen of sweat had developed on Lizzy’s forehead. “If I’m not allowed to smoke, you are not allowed to drink,” she said. “Just button your lip and I’ll fill you in.” Lizzy gave Jaimie a quick information dump on the lip gloss graffiti and her flown finches.

  I watched the blonde insulter’s reaction for telltale signs of guilt. As far as I was concerned, her edgy attitude and familiarity with the lawyer’s house put her at the top of my list of suspected killers.

  “This has to be Sterling’s doing. He’s got that mean streak…” Jaimie began.

  I cleared my throat to interrupt her rant. “We’ll talk about motives later. Time is wasting. Kal is bound to want to search Sterling’s place. We have to beat him there.”

  Lizzy’s tongue slithered along her bottom lip. “Tell me why we’re going snooping at my almost ex-husband’s place? You know this is certain to end badly unless you’re an undercover homicide investigator. There are only so many times Kal will let us off the hook.”

  “Right now you’re a suspect in Peanut’s murder; that’s a fact. I thought I saw something at Sterling’s house that might prove useful in defending you, but I want to be sure it doesn’t incriminate you.”

  “Well, thank you,” Lizzy said, looking befuddled. “Jaimie, I am ordering you to return to the office. Someone has to handle our clients. What if a real buyer stops in?”

  The blonde snorted. “Back off. I’m not going to that lonely outpost. Should I remind you I hardly need this job? I collect more in pre-divorce support from Chip than you earn in an entire year. So you can just stop bossing me around.”

  Lizzy turned to me with a grimace. “You wonder why a lucky billionaire like Chip Toast would leave such a sweet lady?”

  I was out of patience with the woman and would have kicked Jaimie to the curb, but she was Lizzy’s responsibility. Mentally, I gave Lizzy an hour, maybe two, to get rid of the witch— then I’d take over.

  “I’m coming with you. Period. The End,” Jaimie said and stomped out the door.

  Chapter 17

  Once again Lizzy rode shotgun and Jaimie took up the back. She continued to itch for a drink, repeatedly running her nails over the back of my seat. I might win a second set of angel wings if I could unhook both gals from their addictions.

  We cruised past Sterling’s office and took note of the Starfish Cove police car parked out front. With any luck, the coast would be clear at the loathsome lawyer’s house. I needed one quick look at something before Kal showed up with a search warrant and trampled all over the evidence.

  When I continued to refuse to give the girls a reason for our little jaunt, both chatterboxes turned sullen. I wasn’t ready to share what I was looking for—not yet and not in front of Jaimie. I didn’t trust the woman.

  The tension in my car built and I felt the need to break the silence. “It’s possible someone is framing Sterling because he’s the obvious choice for killer of the week. Does he have any enemies?”

  Without missing a beat, Jaimie said, “Does WonderDog have fleas?”

  “My dog does not have fleas!” Lizzy said clenching her jaw. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, and faced forward in her seat. She ignored the queen of snark who continued to crack wise. Thankfully, the sound of the clattering bricks muffled her sarcasm.

  When we arrived at Barracuda Manor, my heart was racing. “Let’s make this fast.” I drove onto the grass at the beginning of the drive near the road, shut off the engine, and positioned Jaimie at the roadside. I instructed her to keep watch for Sterling or the police, and wave at me if she sees either.

  I motioned to Lizzy to stand behind some shrubberies halfway up the drive. “Your job is Addy. If she comes out of the house or the caretaker’s cottage keep her busy. I don’t want her to see what I’m doing.”

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Looking for something.”

  I skirted the grassy border of the crushed-shell drive and found what I was looking for in the area to the right of the front steps. Pulling my cell phone from my pocket, I snapped a series of photos.

  Shading the screen from the sun with my hand, I tilted the phone first one way and then another attempting to determine if I had caught the best angles. I also confirmed that the pictures were on my phone and not in some parallel universe, never to be seen again.

  I heard the crunching of tires. The dark nose of a Mercedes sedan appeared in the driveway, followed by Kal’s police car. Jaimie jumped from her hiding place at the roadside and waved frantically, as if I couldn’t see the two cars bearing down on me.

  That would be the first and last time I trusted her to play lookout.

  Lizzy moved to the lawn, blushing crimson from being caught in the bushes. Behind me, somewhere near the doorway, I heard Addy spitting out questions in rapid fire. I pocketed the cell phone.

  Sterling Kelly stepped from his car, his face a combination of confusion and fury. Apparently, a cop with a search warrant plus the three of us hiding in his yard like demented lawn elves made him cranky.

  Kelly towered over me, his fists knotted at his sides. “Are you engaging in another drive-by analysis, Ms. Peroni?” I read violence in him like a non-blinking neon sign.

  Kal stepped between us. “It appears you three are trespassing.” He included Jaimie and Liz as they gathered at my side.

  “We came to see Sterling. He’s handling Jaimie’s divorce,” Lizzy said.

  “And I lost my contact lens in the driveway. I was just looking for it.” I completed our fairytale. “

  Sterling snorted. Stepping around me, he dashed into the house, leaving Kal to deal with us.

  “How’s Peanut?” Jaimie asked adding just the right touch of ditz. Either she was going for an incompetent plea or alcohol gave her a memory like a sieve. Even I was confused by her pixilated behavior and I had been schooled in dealing with quirky characters.

  Kal looked at her incredulously. “Mr. Nott is still dead. The medical examiner says the cause of death was blunt trauma to the back of his head.” I assumed he was baiting us by sharing the cause of death because that’s not how they do it on Law and Order.

  He turned a stern eye on Lizzy. “Why did you come to Mr. Kelly’s house when you told me he would be at his office? You knew he wasn’t going to be home.”

  She shrugged. “We figured we would wait in his yard and get some sun. Sterling wasn’t expecting Jaimie. It was a surprise visit.”

  Her excuse didn’t fly—it didn’t even float off the ground. I noticed the muscles in Kal’s jaw tighten. “I am ordering you ladies to leave, now. I will be calling each of you separately, for questioning.”

  Kal glanced at the front door. I imagined a light bulb going off over his head. He must have guessed that Sterling Kelly had rushed inside to hide evidence. The door stood open a crack, just enough for the lawmen to legally enter following their prime suspect and carrying a search warrant. Kal and his team went inside leaving the gang that couldn’t fib straight standing in the driveway.

  Addy left her post at the front of the house and joined our little party. She delivered another caution, “Lizzy, I told you Mr. Kelly has not been well, we must be considerate of his heart. Remember how his father passed!” She glanced at the front door. “He is showing all the signs.”

  The psychologist in me analyzed the demeanor of all three women but saw nothing that would account for the raised hair on the back of my neck, but raised it was. More bad stuff was on its way. Sterling Kelly had an army of angry
ex-husbands after him. One of them might have started his revenge by picking on the little guy first to make Sterling sweat before killing him too. Stress like that could do the killer’s work for him.

  Addy fingered a small gold cross on a chain around her neck. “Mr. Kelly’s voice was weak when he called me to tell me about Newton Nott. What a shame. Who would want to harm such a nice man?”

  Lizzy shook her head. “I can’t come to grips with it. Newton was in the trunk of my Jag! The very same car parked right here where we’re standing now.”

  We all glanced down as if the ground might spit up some bloody secret.

  Addy winced and placed her hand over her mouth as she coughed. Her eyes doubled in size. “I just thought of something. Do you think we’re in danger here? Should I send Heather away until they find the killer?”

  “Is she at school?” Lizzy said before responding to my quizzical look. “Heather is Addy’s daughter. She’s a real sweetheart.”

  “Mr. Kelly adores her,” Addy said. “Last week he held a party for her birthday at Tumblers on the Beach. Such a fun time.” She let her shoulders slump. “Mr. Nott was dressed in a clown suit with his face all painted. He was so—”

  I glimpsed a look of amusement on Jaimie’s face. Was she remembering the clowns, imagining a vodka tonic, or lost in la-la land? She said, “Peanut was the life of the party.”

  Addy gave Jaimie an angry look and then glanced at the front door. “I should call the school and make arrangements for Heather to stay in the afterhours program. I don’t want her to see the police…” she didn’t finish her sentence.

  Lizzy reached out and squeezed the housekeeper’s arm. “I can pick her up later if you want to stay by Sterling’s side.”

  The housekeeper shook her head. “You’re a darling lady, but just seeing you puts a strain on Mr. Kelly. I’ll call Dr. Holland. Don’t concern yourself.” She made a shooing motion and we took the hint.

  At the cost of making us look like the Three Stooges, I got what I came for. Ditching Jaimie was the next thing on my to-do list. The gal was a liability—to herself and anybody within range.

  Chapter 18

  As I backed my car out onto the road, Jaimie was the first to speak. “I told you Addy likes me. She thinks of me as family.”

  What planet was the woman on? Her brain was pickled. It was time for me to take charge of the Loud Mouth of the South. If I left it to Lizzy, we’d have Jaimie with us for the rest of the day, way beyond the limits of my patience.

  “I’ll drive you to your car at Sandy Shores,” I locked eyes with Jaimie in the rearview mirror as I put the car in reverse. “Lizzy and I have some things to take care of.”

  “No problem!” Jaimie said. “My afternoon is free. I can help you.”

  “No thanks. I don’t want you to neglect your real estate responsibilities more than you already have.” Somebody had to set her straight.

  Jaimie gasped. She was not used to being denied. Welcome to my world, Miss Snarkydoodle.

  We dropped off Jaimie, and then stopped at the condo where I did a quick change into capris and a cotton top. I took two minutes to rub a purring Puff.

  WonderDog hopped into the back seat and bless his heart, did not utter a snarl or growl a rhyming name. I waited outside while Lizzy ran into Gulf Groceries for glass cleaner, vinegar, and paper towels.

  If we worked quickly, we might erase the nasty words before Lizzy’s beau showed up. I was curious about Dave. Sterling was an impossible fit for Lizzy. Was the manager of Crabby Nancy’s any better?

  WonderDog went into a sniffing frenzy the moment we arrived at the cottage. He snuffled out the scents that must have been left by the graffiti nut, aka Sterling Kelly. Had he released the finches on purpose? It seemed such a cruel act even for someone in a meltdown.

  Lizzy and I went to work. I set out the cleaning supplies, and then picked up specks of bird poop. My new partner was oblivious to the droppings but being a clean-freak I could never adjust to the aviary life.

  Window cleaner, vinegar, and hard rubbing removed most of the lip gloss lettering. The shadowy letters of WOMDAMPY remained despite all our scouring. “What kind of lip gloss is this?” I asked buffing away the letters only to see them reappear in ghostly form.

  “It’s Eve Bowie. Long lasting,” Lizzy answered. “I have a shoebox labeled, ‘Awful Lip Gloss,’ full of tubes in the top drawer. I bought a bunch of it on sale back when I was living with Sterling. I stopped using it when I discovered it’s beastly to get off. WonderDog’s hairs stuck to my lips every time I kissed his head.”

  We stopped scrubbing for a minute to finish our giggles. I imagined Lizzy with furry lips and burst out laughing again.

  “I could never bring myself to throw it away. There are a dozen gold cylinders in that box, each one costing fifty bucks. The mere existence of the collection drove Sterling bonkers. If he caught sight of the shoebox he’d tell me to use it or lose it.”

  The lid wobbled lose. My curiosity kicked in. What did six hundred dollars worth of lip gloss look like?

  “Don’t open it!” Lizzy said. “It embarrasses me to see it. Now, thanks to Sterling I have a use for it—mirror markings. Come Halloween you and I can run around town doodling on store windows!”

  As I looked at the lid of her shoebox goofs, my mind shot to my grandmother’s recipe box. “There are lip gloss recipes in my Nonna’s collection. I’ll bet we can create some luscious glosses in lovely shades. I can’t wait to experiment with other beauty stuff besides her miracle cream.”

  “It’s going to be great fun,” Lizzy said as she poured more vinegar into the bowl in preparation to attack WOMDAMPY again. WonderDog backed away from the smell, his eyes watering.

  After re-soaking the cloth in the vinegar, I rubbed the glass, while imagining names for lipstick colors. A dozen lovely ways to describe coral danced through my head.

  “Here’s an icky bit of trivia,” I said to Lizzy as we scrubbed. “Cleopatra ordered her lipsticks made from crushed carmine beetles and ants. Nonna told me and the image really stuck in my mind!”

  “Ooo! That gives me the shivers!” Lizzy said. “Crushing beetles is your department.”

  I made fish lips at her. We both laughed.

  RUURRUMP PA-LUMP. I recognized the sound of a truck pulling into the yard. The noise sent WonderDog barking and Lizzy dashing. They stumbled over each other as they raced to the door. It was either the locksmith arriving to change the locks or it was Lizzy’s Dave. I concentrated on scrubbing WOMDAMPY and let her handle her company.

  A smooching sound arose in the kitchen. I guessed it to be Dave, either that or a very affectionate locksmith. Placing the cloth in the vinegar bowl, I rinsed my hands in the bathroom sink, took a quick peek at myself in the mirror and went to meet Lizzy’s beau.

  “Olive, this is Dave Bronson. He’s early, isn’t that a pleasant surprise?” There was a ring of sarcasm in her words.

  I extended my hand. Dave was more like the man I envisioned for Lizzy—until I got a whiff of him. He was in his mid-thirties, tall and muscular, with clear blue eyes, and a clean-shaven face. He wore a navy T-shirt with white and yellow lettering that read Crabby Nancy’s Fish House. He wasn’t a stuffed-shirt like Sterling, but rather a Buffet and jeans kind of guy. Unfortunately, he smelled of fried fish, great in a restaurant, not so pleasant on a guy.

  Dave appeared flustered to find his girlfriend entertaining a visitor. He had left work early probably looking forward to time alone with Lizzy, only to discover they weren’t alone.

  I automatically slipped into my analyst mode. Here was a guy who spent his life in the sand and surf working a job he enjoyed while remaining on the edge of the crowd. He was probably a loner with no aspirations other than to float through life and take pleasure in the occasional bar brawl. Not a good match for Lizzy as he would be threatened by her ambition.

  “Is that your car out front, Olive? Where’s yours, Lizzy? Were you in an accident?” He wrinkl
ed his nose. “Why does this place reek of vinegar? What’s going on here?”

  Chapter 19

  Lizzy slipped her arm around Dave’s waist and pulled him towards her.

  “Where are your birds?” He looked up into the rafters and then at WonderDog as if he held the answer.

  “Let me get you a beer,” Lizzy said. “Sit down and I’ll tell you all about it.” She shoved him playfully onto the sofa. “Just promise me you’ll control your temper.”

  I tried to disappear into the woodwork. Lizzy’s forced happy-go-lucky tone blared a warning as clearly as one of those forklifts at a warehouse. She knew Dave was not going to take our recent adventures lightly.

  She handed him a beer and then began to recount the significant events in chronological order, which unfortunately began with her getting arrested for stealing her own car.

  “Kelly did what?” Dave leapt from his seat, slamming the beer bottle on the table, ready to rumble. The expression on his face said, Oh goody—a slugfest. It was a stretch to imagine Sterling Kelly in his expensive suit rolling in the sand with Dave Bronson. But the idea sure turned on a light in the fish man’s eyes.

  Lizzy eased him back down. “There’s more, and it gets worse. If you want to hear the rest, you have to chill. Okay?” Once he nodded, she escorted him to the bedroom and showed him the remains of the lip-glossed obscenities. I followed at a distance. If his head exploded I wanted to be out of eyeball and earlobe range.

  Dave tilted his head to the right and then the left. “Does this say WOMDAMPY? What kind of crazy stuff…? And that creep broke into your home! This is the last time he’ll threaten or scare you or any woman. There’s a score to be settled here!” He clenched his fists. Lizzy gripped his hands. “Please, Dave, calm down. There’s more and now I’m afraid to tell you.”