by Jay Bell
“Did you hear that?” Nathaniel asked.
“Maybe,” Caesar said.
Nathaniel released him and stepped back. “Either you heard it or you didn’t.”
“I don’t know. Over there, maybe?” Caesar nodded in the direction Nathaniel thought he had heard a vehicle.
That was all the confirmation he needed. They would have to leave the path, but it was worth the risk. “Keep the blanket around you and pay attention to where we’re going in case we need to backtrack.”
“Maybe we should do that now,” Caesar said.
“Ten minutes. If we don’t find anything, we’ll turn back.
Caesar didn’t seem convinced, but he nodded. Nathaniel led the way, moving as fast he could now that he was on a time limit. He kept checking his watch, not saying anything when they reached the ten minute mark. He pushed it another five, about to admit defeat when he noticed a crushed beer can on the ground. He glanced upward, the dwindling light slightly brighter just ahead. After pushing past a few more trees, they stumbled out onto a road.
This road wasn’t built for high traffic, so he wasn’t worried about them getting run over. No pavement or painted lines. Just flattened beige dirt and a bunch of small stones. They celebrated regardless, Nathaniel whooping and jumping around while Caesar grinned at him.
“Okay,” Nathaniel said once he calmed down. “Which way to the campsite?”
“Forget that,” Caesar said. “Take me to the nearest hotel. I want a hot shower!”
Nathaniel filed away that fantasy for later. He considered the setting sun, determined that direction was west, and admitted to himself that knowing the cardinal direction didn’t help one bit. Then again, they were walking toward the sun earlier in the day, so heading away from the sunset might make sense. Without mentioning his flimsy reasoning, Nathaniel led them down the road, hoping with each curve that they would see some encouraging sign. They didn’t. Just more trees and dirt. Hope was beginning to ebb when the road behind them lit up. A car!
Or an old pickup truck, as it turned out. Nathaniel stepped in front of Caesar, waving it down. The vehicle wasn’t travelling fast, so the driver didn’t have to slow much to stop. Nathaniel went around to the window, seeing a face tanned by a lifetime spent in the sun. Old gray eyes looked over both of them. Then the man spat off to the side with practiced skill.
“You boys look like you’ve survived a shipwreck, which is odd, because we’re a long way from the sea.”
“We were just—” Caesar began.
“Looking for the campsite when you got lost?” The old man seemed amused. “You ain’t the first, you won’t be the last. Hop in.”
* * * * *
“I can’t believe he knew the name of the ghost town and everything!” Caesar raved. If the tent was taller, he’d probably be pacing back and forth. As it was, he stood on his knees, his gestures animated. “Warton. What a name!”
“Like the town had been a wart on Texas,” Nathaniel said with a smile.
“Until it was burned off.”
Caesar wasn’t just being poetic. From the old man who had given them a ride, they had learned that Warton’s population had dwindled to almost nothing before a fire spread across the town, reducing the remainder to ash. The old man had also told them his grandfather had lived and farmed there, so while the town might not have survived, its descendants still formed its legacy.
Once the old man dropped them off at the campsite, and Caesar was showered and dressed in dry clothing, he told their story to his family, making it sound like some grand adventure. In truth they had only stumbled around in the woods for a few hours, soaking wet, but his enthusiasm was contagious. Best of all, the ice was broken between them. Whether the experience itself or Nathaniel’s openness had done the job, he wasn’t sure. Regardless, he was in Caesar’s inner circle now. No more clamming up. No more averted gazes.
“What now?” Caesar asked, glancing around the tent. They had their own, and aside from a couple of sleeping bags, an electric lamp, and privacy, they didn’t have much to work with.
“What now?” Nathaniel repeated with an incredulous twist. “You’re ready for the next adventure already?”
Caesar grinned at him. “Sure!”
“I’m ready to sleep,” Nathaniel said. “It’s late.”
Caesar groaned, as if disappointed. Then he stripped off his shirt, tossing it casually aside before reaching for his jeans. “What about tomorrow?”
Nathaniel forced himself to focus on unzipping his sleeping bag. “Up to you. Maybe we’ll go back to Warton. But at night, this time. We’ll hang out in the graveyard, light some candles, spill some blood. Then we’ll see if any ghosts want to share their secrets with us.”
“Dude,” Caesar said. “You’re freaking me out. Seriously.”
Nathaniel smirked. “Don’t like ghost stories?”
“Nope.”
He looked over to find Caesar already in his sleeping bag, his jeans a crumpled pile next to him. He didn’t see any underwear, but that still seemed awfully undressed for a chilly spring night. Nathaniel left his clothes on and reached to turn off the lamp. A few minutes later, he started sweating. Whatever material these bags were made of, they were hardcore. He squirmed out of his to shed some clothes.
“What are you doing?” Caesar whispered.
“Getting naked.”
“These sleeping bags are hot, huh?”
“Yeah.”
The silence was thick with sexual tension, even if it was one-sided. Stripping down to his underwear this close to Caesar felt erotic. Nathaniel started to hurry, becoming aroused and wishing he had taken care of business in the communal shower room earlier. Maybe he could wait until Caesar fell asleep or—
“Hey.”
Nathaniel made sure he was back in his sleeping bag before he answered. “What?”
“You’re not alone.”
Nathaniel scrunched up his face in confusion, despite his expression being invisible in the dark. “Huh?”
“What you said earlier, about being gay. You’re not alone.”
Pep talk. That was sweet, but he didn’t need it. “Okay,” Nathaniel replied, rolling over and getting comfortable. His eyes shot open soon after. Was Caesar simply trying to cheer him up? Or was there more to it? “I know there are other gay people,” he whispered. “I told you, I’ve been on dates and stuff.”
A long pause. Had Caesar fallen asleep? No. “There was this guy I met once. Well, I didn’t meet him. I called an ambulance because my grandma was having a stroke and he picked me up— Not like that! I don’t mean he flirted with me. Ugh, I’m telling it all wrong.”
Nathaniel tried not to laugh. “You met a paramedic once, and he turned out to be gay. Unless you’ve got his email address for me, I don’t see your point.”
“That’s not what I was trying to say.”
Caesar sounded hurt, so Nathaniel made sure his voice was softer when he spoke. “Try again.”
“He was beautiful,” Caesar said hurriedly. “Even though he was only in my life a few minutes, I never stopped thinking about him.”
A guy calling another guy beautiful… That didn’t happen often. Any guy could tell if another was hot and might mention that in conversation. Johnny Depp sure is a good-looking motherfucker. Guy probably gets all the girls! Banter like that didn’t raise red flags. But a gentle word like ‘beautiful,’ was something different. Still, Nathaniel didn’t leap to any conclusions, despite being tempted.
“There’s a difference between admiring a guy and finding him attractive.”
“Sometimes it’s both.”
“But you and Steph…”
“I love her,” Caesar said. “I’m into girls. Especially her. But I’ve always noticed guys too. I used to think I lacked a filter or just hadn’t made up my mind about who I am. But I don’t wonder anymore. Like I said… Sometimes it’s both.”
Bisexual? Nathaniel felt like sighing and groaning at the same t
ime. Over the past few weeks, he had wished more than once that they were compatible, that Caesar was gay. He should have been more specific because he got his wish. He and Caesar could be together. Except Caesar already had someone he loved. The revelation was bittersweet. Mostly bitter though.
“Nathaniel?” Caesar said.
“Hm?” he managed.
“I’m really glad we met.”
Nathaniel kept his expression neutral. When he remembered he couldn’t be seen, he allowed the pain to show. “Yeah. Me too.”
Chapter Four
Nathaniel stood outside Rebecca’s house, buzzing with energy. The last day of spring break was usually depressing, since it meant returning to school. The next hiatus wouldn’t be until summer, and with college looming, the future seemed a very stressful place. Nathaniel now felt ready to take it on. His trip with the Hubbards—with Caesar—had refueled him. The family outings had been nice enough. Horseback riding, grilling huge meals in the afternoons, or taking a boat out on the lake—all of that had been great. But what Nathaniel loved most were the countless hours spent talking to Caesar.
His shy guy was long gone. They didn’t have enough time or oxygen for all the words they wanted to share. No longer were they strangers. Nathaniel knew a lot about Caesar, even dumb stuff like his severe allergy, which made it impossible to have pets. Or his passion for wrestling—not just the sport but its history, everything except for the costumed variety on television. Or little embarrassing truths, like how prone he was to nightmares, Caesar shaking him awake more than once in the middle of the night. Nathaniel never minded. Back at home he woke up at least once an hour, checking the door to make sure it was still shut and doing a quick sweep of the room to ensure he was safe. He was used to a living nightmare, so mere dreams were easy. Nathaniel would make conversation to distract Caesar, waiting for him to calm down enough to sleep. What Nathaniel really wanted was to comfort him physically. Surely his arms could do a better job than his clumsy words.
Unfortunately, the one topic that came up most often was Steph. Caesar really cared for her. This knowledge didn’t dampen Nathaniel’s spirit. He had finally met a guy he liked, one he couldn’t stop staring at. Nathaniel couldn’t wait to share the news with Rebecca. She’d be thrilled for him!
When she opened the front door, her smile wasn’t quite as broad as his. She accepted his hug, but instead of leading him upstairs to her bedroom as usual, she pulled the door behind her closed and walked to the cast iron furniture off to one side. She sat in a chair, placing her hands in her lap.
“Have a good time?” she asked.
“Yeah!” Nathaniel said, too excited to sit. “You wouldn’t believe all the stuff we did, but honestly, the best part was Caesar. We really hit it off, and get this: He’s bisexual!” Rebecca frowned. He pressed on anyway. “You wouldn’t believe how nice he is. Sensitive too. I guess that’s not so surprising, since it took him forever to stop being shy. Now he’s really…”
Nathaniel trailed off. Rebecca had looked away and no longer seemed to be listening. Her mouth was set in a way normally reserved for when kids at school made fun of her.
“You okay?” he asked. “Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened!” Rebecca snapped. “That’s what sucks! We had all those plans together, and you totally ditched me so you could run off with some guy you’re crushing on. Now you show up here, and all you’re doing is bragging about hooking up with him!”
“That’s not what happened,” Nathaniel said. “He’s got a girlfriend. We’re not together.”
“Gee, too bad,” Rebecca said sarcastically. “You could still show a little tact and not brag about how awesome your spring break was when mine totally sucked.”
Nathaniel grimaced. “You’re right.” He angled one of the chairs to face her before sitting. “I’m being a dick. I’m sorry. But you know why I bailed on you. Even with all our plans, there was still a chance that Dwight—”
“I know,” Rebecca said. Then she exhaled. “Part of me was happy knowing you were safe. The rest was bored out of my mind.”
“That bad?”
“Worse. My mom got on this kick about how I’m going off to college soon, and decided we needed to spend quality time together. That meant visiting an arts and crafts fair at the public library. Or taking stupid square dancing lessons.”
Nathaniel tried not to laugh. “Seriously?”
Rebecca’s features tensed. “Yes!”
Nathaniel tried a more sympathetic tone. “I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I swear.”
“You’re taking me on a date,” Rebecca announced. “You don’t have to put out, but I want dinner. And a movie. You’re also taking me to the prom.”
Nathaniel grinned. “It’s a deal.”
Rebecca eyed him a moment, then became more friendly. “The break wasn’t a total bust. The acceptance letters were exciting. Who did you hear back from?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I haven’t been home yet.”
“Really? You came to see me first?” Rebecca smiled. “Of course you only wanted to brag, but I’ll still take it as a compliment.”
“Your turn. Tell me everything you learned about square dancing. No, forget that. Just show me your new moves.”
She shook her head, then invited him to her bedroom. There they lay on her bed and went through her acceptance letters one by one. They had made sure to apply to the same schools, hoping to enter college together. She didn’t have a response from every school, but she did save the best letter for last.
“Oh, and here’s one more,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “Some no-name school on the East Coast. What were they called? Ah, I remember! Yale.”
Nathaniel’s jaw dropped. Then he snatched the letter from her. After absorbing its contents he handed it back with more reverence. “Makes your decision easy.”
“Not necessarily,” Rebecca said with a casual shrug. “We’ll see.”
“What’s there to see?” he asked incredulously.
Her freckled cheeks grew a little red. “If they accepted you too.”
“No way,” he said, shaking his head. He wasn’t going to let her feelings for him ruin an opportunity like this. “You’re going. There’s no way in hell you’re not.”
“And what if I don’t, Dad? What are you going to do? Ground me?”
“You’re going,” he said, ignoring her sarcasm. “I won’t be the one to mess this up for you.”
“Then you’d better get accepted too.”
They talked over her news a little longer, Nathaniel’s anticipation about his own results increasing until he couldn’t wait anymore. After a kiss on the cheek, he headed home to see if he had any mail. The usual anxiety he felt when nearing his house was absent today, replaced by dreams of the future and a longing to see his mother. He found her in the living room, flipping through channels on the big screen TV. When she heard him, her head turned, surprise registering before joy. One hand pushed a button to silence the television as she stood. She only managed a few steps because Nathaniel got there first, hugging her and lifting her off her feet.
His mother laughed, then winced as he squeezed, so he set her down gently.
“Sorry,” he said. “I forget my own strength.”
“Maybe take it easy on those weights,” Star said, placing a hand on one of his cheeks. “Look how much sun you got! And when’s the last time you shaved? You look like Paul Bunyan.”
“Rugged, isn’t it?” Nathaniel rubbed the scruff. He hadn’t grown a real beard, but he still felt proud.
“Sit down and tell me all about your trip,” his mother said. “Oh, are you hungry? There’s a cucumber salad in the fridge or—”
“Yuck.”
“—or I can nuke you a chicken pot pie.”
“That sounds better.”
Half an hour later, Nathaniel was sitting at the kitchen table, a scraped clean cardboard pie tray in front of him. He had managed t
o eat and tell his mother the highlights of the trip at the same time, which is probably why she kept making faces. For once she didn’t chastise his table manners, clearly happy to have him back.
“What’s been going on here?” he asked.
His mother sighed, looking weary. “Your brother lost his job.”
Cold dread hit his stomach. “Already? What happened?”
“Dwight got into an argument with a client. You know his temper. He actually—” His mother pressed her lips together and shook her head. “He forced the customer from the car he was trying to sell and told him to leave if he didn’t agree with the price.”
She wasn’t doing the story justice. Nathaniel could visualize how it probably really happened. The customer was behind the wheel of a car—maybe on the showroom floor or out on the lot. In the process of trying to haggle down the price, he must have injured Dwight’s ego, so his brother grabbed the man by the arm and yanked him out of the car and to the ground, no doubt swearing at the top of his lungs as he did so.
“It’s still not clear if the customer is going to press charges,” Star continued. “I almost hope he does. I feel terrible for saying that, but maybe going to court is the wakeup call your brother needs.”
“Do you think he’ll go to jail?” Nathaniel said.
“For something so small?” Her forehead crinkled with worry. “I hope not! Anyway, I’m glad you’re home. It’s been a nightmare around here lately. I need you by my side.” She reached across the table to take his hand.
Nathaniel’s eyes met hers. “I’m here.”
“Good. Your father had to take an emergency trip to the Oklahoma City clinic. One of the managers there went AWOL, but not before disappearing with most of the schedule two narcotics. He’s looking forward to seeing you. He’ll be home later tonight.”
“Where’s Dwight?”
Star frowned. “Probably drunk somewhere. He brought around a new girl who smelled like a distillery. I found a bunch of empty bottles in his room too, so it looks like he’s got a new hobby. I told him if he’s so interested in binge drinking, that he should have gone to college.” The tension in her face disappeared. “Hey, speaking of which, you’ve got mail!”
